Ducati Monster Forum

just got a drunk dialing phone call from the world presidents meeting in valencia ... seems that dan and warren arrived a-ok, and are already 3 sheets to the wind at the arrival dinner.  i warned dan not to try and keep up with the spanish presidents ... they drink like fishes   [drink]

more updates as they are called in to me.

btw, dmf might want to start a bail fund for warren and dan ... i am betting they both get into police trouble before wpm finishes.  [evil]

edit: my bet is on dan and spidey getting busted for riding while naked.

I feel sorry for Spain right now.   [laugh]

not as much as i feel happy for here  ;D

seriously ... spain will survive ... they handled the spanish inquisition and franco, and are still around. [thumbsup]

yo soy aqui tambien!! ;D

ok ... NOW i feel sorry for spain  ;D

We're off to dinner in a coupla minutes, so this will have to be brief.  Valencia has been a really instructive experience so far.  Things I've learned . . .

--  There are at least 10 different languages that have a word for blowjob.  You can say them all to your waitress
--  The new monster 1100 wheelies just fine
--  110mph through the streets of Valencia is possible, but not advisable
--  A hang-over can last long enough that it starts to go away just as you're getting revved up to get another
--  Dan has more lotions and creams and grooming rituals than most chicks I know
--  The rain in Spain does NOT stay mainly in the plains

More later.  I gotta go kill my liver. 

The liver is evil and must be puninshed.  [evil] [drink] [drink] [drink] [drink] [beer] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

the cream is good for dan's reach-arounds ... or so i am told  :o

and warren ... PLEASE do not become "that idiot" ... just ask any of the presidents who attended last year about the spaz who represented the ocdc (nino's club from so cal). DO NOT BECOME THIS PERSON!!!  [bang]

Don't worry so much, John.  It's already too late to sully your name with the Ducati higher-ups.   ;D  Though I'm tryin'.   ;)

that's my boy  [thumbsup]

keep tryin' ... and remember, you must continue the "stunt man drink at every dinner" tradition.  8)  remember, the lime in the eye does not hurt as much as the salt up the nose.

great ... i get an email from one of the presidents titled "wtf?", and asking: "who did you send?  the next scott?" (scott was the dork that ocdc sent last year).  [bang]

and this on only the second day  [thumbsup]

pics or it didn't happen.  [cheeky]

Remember, "siesta" means nap, not blacked out.   [wine]

ciao warren -

can you please make sure to grab the club banner with the norcaldoc logo (or if they did not use that logo, then grab the one with the mh900e club logo) on the last day of the presidents meeting (when everyone else starts to grab the banners), and bring it back for me?

if you can do this, all will be forgiven if you sully my name more than it already is with ducati motor holding  [thumbsup]

also, did you pass out the hoodies to the presidents yet?

a presto,
johnc

Poor Spain. 

Way to go lads! I'm glad to hear you're representing us all so well.

BTW, that's good advice about not trying to keep up with Spaniards in the partying dept. They have trained their entire lives for these sorts of events.

Is Francisco still riding around in his Adidas' and short-shorts?

update @ 4:15pm pt,  via phone from valencia:

warren now has the nickname of muchacho de la cabra (goat boy).  i asked if this was due to warren's goatee ... the answer was "no ... it's because he will eat anything".

dan has garnered the nickname of muchacho de la sombra (shadow boy), as he likes to lurk in the background.

 [laugh]

And as evidence to Spidey's new title, allow me to provide you with this....
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=4869d06fc4&view=att&th=11d17d9766258d70&attid=0.1.1&disp=emb)
 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

I just got this from a friend in Spain. He says you guys should order the "Huevos de toro:"

This friend visited a small town in Spain.  The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honored guest at the hotel.

Dining for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.  He suggested the "cojones".  The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today." He was shocked but agreed to try them after being assured it was a delicacy reserved only for special guests. The tourist found them to be very tasty.

The next night he again ordered them for dinner. The waiter complied but somewhat reluctantly. The tourist again found them to be very tasty but asked the waiter why they were so much smaller than before.  The waiter said, "You see, Senor, sometimes it is the bull that wins!"  :P

 [puke] [puke] [puke] [puke] [puke] [puke]

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Spain has given us tapas, Gaudi, Calatrava, and Flamenco (OK, and the Inquisition...) and we send over Spidey and Dan.  Spain is definitely gettin' the ass-end of this deal. 

well, i got another photo of warren sent to me tonight by one of the presidents ... i sent it to duckwrench, as he can post it, and the other photo i got the other night.

the email with tonight's photo, titled "wtf?" advised:

Clelland,

I think NorCal DOC is going to be banned from future WPM/WDW's !

he's pissin off whole countries, much worse than scott!!!

and the email from the previous night advised:

who did you send?  the next scott?

note: "scott" was the complete spaz that the orange county ducati club sent last year to wpm as their representative ... he managed to start pissing off all the other presidents on the first day, by riding along on the wrong side of the road passing everyone, using his left hand to control the throttle on the sport classic he was riding ... so he could take photos with his slr camera that had one of those "i have a small penis" 2 foot long telephoto lenses.  his actions went downhill fast from that point. by the end of the third day of wpm, everyone wanted to kill him.

a presto ... and hopefully, duckwrench can post those photos of warren.

johnc

So John, who's sending you the intel?

BTW, I see that datv's flying under the radar.

Note to self:  don't mix vodka and wine and beer and limoncello and champagne and mohitos and rum and whiskey.  

Further note to self:  next time Dan locks himself out of the room cuz he's too drunk to figure out the difference between the bathroom door and the door to the hall, just leave him there.

Well, I think the whole world is taking a turn towards Warren...  There even amassing the troops for a coup attempt on JohnC.  I mean they even closed the streets and let Warren do his best Pfeiffer rendition with Metz/Jason Brittan style..

I might have to change my vote for the NorCal Prez

(http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i35/jtree619/PA210027.jpg)



 

i get daily emails and photos from jay (san diego doc) ... and way too many drunk dialing phone calls from marco z, andrea v and others, in wpm ... i am enjoying the updates as i can live vicariously and not kill so many brain cells.

Excellent. I'm glad to have the posts too.

Most interested in how Spidey and Dan deal with the sloppy affections of Stefano Bossi. I can't imagine he's not there.

i just got emailed a bunch more photos of the toxic twins visit to wpm ... these are the only two fit to share here:

(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_fedecc31e17644b983cc2c9b199f402f.jpg)

(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/30/l_781f88a3c7b04a66bceb7dd2058c5c07.jpg)

pfffft to all of you!  8)

until warren does 5 stuntman drinks in a row ... i will not consider him a viable threat.

although, the photo above of warren looking like the world is spinning a little too much for him to handle might make one think that warren was doing stuntman drinks ... his self confessed binge drinking style of girly drinks like "vodka and wine and beer and limoncello and champagne and mohitos and rum and whiskey" ... does not compare with the infamous stuntman drink.  [drink]

AND ... locking dan out in the hallway is a wussy thing to do ... you have not experienced WPM until you have had francisco turn the hotel bathroom into a scene from the exorcist ... with projectile vomit and god knows what else covering every square inch of the room.  now THATS WPM at its finest!  [thumbsup]

You can't just say that and not provide links to the rest!
 [laugh] [clap]

Is that Spidey or George Michael's pre-dye-job WAM! days?

(kick-kick)

I couldn't post the most recent pic since it was a FREAKIN' HUGE file. But from what I did see, it's not far from the one of Spidey holding the ground for dear life!

Spain has its pants around its ankles and Spidey just tossed the jar of Vaseline into the trash. 

poor spain...

why yes ... i can  8)

what .... no comments on dan doing his "when in spain, do as the romans"?

and who IS the gentleman with dan?  :o

(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t180/bobspapa/spi.jpg?t=1224687559)

(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t180/bobspapa/dan.jpg?t=1224695420)

and I likes um     [laugh]

Don't stop now...things are just getting interesting.  Dolph

oh, don't you worry ... this adventure is FAR from over.  i still have money bet on dan and warren needing bail money before their trips are over.  if not busted in spain, their chances increase when they visit italy  [leo]

I would like to point out that it was more like this:"So... Nobody can go this year?? Ok, whatever... Damn, ok Scott... go...  :-[ "
And we couldn't do anything...  8)
Without the OC/DC this year's WPM is not gonna be the same... No crashes, no idiots...  ;D

I trust you realize that we don't necessarily look down upon clubs that not only include but also embrace their fair share of spastics.  I think the ratio of crazies to sane in the MOB ain't exactly a small number.   [laugh]

i appreciate your comments ... and know that nino and massimo were both really pissed off about scott, and i realize scott does not represent the ocdc membership by proxy.  my comment was only one that was passed on by another club president @ wpm in valencia ... and i am pretty sure he meant it in a sarcastic way only ... not a factual way, as both warren and dan are good people.

a presto,
johnc

I feel so much better now. [laugh]

exactomundo!  [thumbsup]

I'm gonna start my own gang, so I can sully the Cali rep too  [evil]

Not sure there's much left to sully.   [laugh]

crap >:(



time to buy a Royal Enfield    [laugh]

sully + royal enfield = dogmatic  [roll]

damn it.... I wanna sully something >:(





 [laugh]

how about you sully "he who cannot be named here" (or i will get banned for another week)  ;D

No worries, real stories are told about the past WPMs and we laugh about them (so far...  :-X). But I'm glad to pass the OC/DC heritage to some other club  ;D

Keep having fun in Valencia, enjoy it and  [beer] [wine] [drink] at least one for each fellow club members who couldn't be there this year.  ;)

it's mathematically  impossible to sully "he who cannot be named here", anymore than he has and can do to himself   [laugh]

Ciao Massimo! How's that collarbone? Did it heal up nice?  ;D ;D

Believe me, the MOB is the crashing-est group there is. And I suspect Dan and Spidey will eclipse the memory of Scott quite nicely.  [cheeky] [laugh] [laugh]

cheese and rice ... i sure hope not.  [roll]

and ciao massimo ... come stai fratello?

update ... spoke with spidey last night ... they were partying it up in valencia.

spidey advised that the photo of him laying on the floor was taken right after dan did a header while dancing in his toga ... and spidey had fallen over from laughing so hard.  i am pretty certain copious amounts of booze were also a contributing factor ... but this is spidey's story, and he is sticking to it.

a presto,
johnc

no comment is required for this photo ... so none given ...

(http://norcaldoc.com/images/fbfiles/images/spidey_in_valencia.jpg)

To the Government of Spain,

 We, the Monsters Of the Bay, sincerely apologize for the antics of our selected delegates.

 Please convey our well wishes to any and all citizens, small dogs, children, and little old ladies that have been irreversibly traumatized, and deeply psychologically scarred, by their unexpected exposure to our representatives.

Kindest regards,

 Ducati MOB

(p.s. can the rest of us still come and visit if we deny knowing them?)

Now I know what Spidey's epiglottis looks like.   :-X

huh, huh ... she said "epiglottis" ... huh, huh.

(http://cristal.inria.fr/~harley/ecdl3/pics/butthead.gif)

once we get ALL the photos from valencia ... i vote we should have caption contests.

i will start the contest with this already posted gem ...

(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_fedecc31e17644b983cc2c9b199f402f.jpg)

my caption entry is dan saying:
"i don't understand why we both have to wear these funky surgical gowns,  but thank goodness he's only using his middle finger for the prostate exam this time"

I can haz invizible basketball!

(edit:Gah! That caption would have made much more sense if it was on the same page as the pic...)

doh!   [laugh]

(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_fedecc31e17644b983cc2c9b199f402f.jpg)
"Does it count as fisting if the middle finger is raised? 'Cause the guy next to me liked it just the same."

(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_fedecc31e17644b983cc2c9b199f402f.jpg)

"koji says that in japan, 'THIS' is the shocker ... as he is demonstrating on me right now with his left hand"

more caption contest fodder ...

(http://norcaldoc.com/images/fbfiles/images/spidey1.jpg)

and another even stranger photo for captioning ...
(http://norcaldoc.com/images/fbfiles/images/spidey2.jpg)

(Thumpy music in the background)
"I wear tights and spin webs on my day off. Now you know why they call me Spidey."

"I can't believe they let that guy procreate."
- me

(http://norcaldoc.com/images/fbfiles/images/spidey2.jpg)
I can has sticky weblike fluid comes from here

Spidey, change yer t-shirt.  It stinky!

great minds think alike.   [laugh]  I was just wondering how many appearances that thing will make on him before it walks off on its own.   [cheeky]

Shhhh!!!

Quiet, you might just encourage him to wear it at the 'geist this Thursday!  :-X

Too late.   [evil]

P.S.  I have three of those shirts.   :-*

Yeah, whatever... between the flatulence and "used" shirt - Spidey stank :-*

ah ... good to read that spidey represented the nor cal ducati DOC properly @ WPM ... stank and all  [thumbsup]

Fixed.

(http://a985.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/92/l_acf0a53a722f5f7d9784dd1b64555c08.jpg)

spidey .... you got "fixed" while in valencia?  did you go to a veteranarian, or was this a "street job"?  [roll]

My vote's on a back alley sex mechanic.

max points for reference to my fav buzzcocks tune ... "orgasm addict" ... "if your sex mechanic's rough you're more than ready."

full lyrics @:
http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/buzzcocks/orgasmaddict.html (http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/buzzcocks/orgasmaddict.html)

I was thinking of exactly those lyrics [thumbsup]

Now tell me: what do I get?

the buzzcocks rule, baby!!!
http://www.buzzcocks.com/site/soundvideo.html (http://www.buzzcocks.com/site/soundvideo.html)

What do I get:
I just want a lover like any other
What do I get
I only want a friend who will stay to the end
What do I get

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

Im in distress I need a caress
What do I get
Im not on the make I just need a break
What do I get

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

I only get sleepless nights
Alone here in my half-empty bed
For you things seem to turn out right
I wish theyd only happen to me instead

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

[solo]

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

I only get sleepless nights
Alone here in my half-empty bed
For you things seem to turn out right
I wish theyd only happen to me instead

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

I just want a lover like any other
What do I get
I only want a friend who will love to the end
What do I get

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get

Well let me tell you now
I get no love
I get no sleep at nights
I get nothing thats nice
I get nothing at all
At all,at all,at all
At all,at all,at all
Cos I dont get you

Classic tune!  We should move the zeitgeist meet to Lucky 13.  It's on the jukebox.  Plus lots of other classic old punk.

GAAAAAHHH!!! [puke] [puke] I HATE THAT SONG!!!! >:( Every night, at least twenty times a night, that damn song would play on the jukebox at the bar I worked at!!!  [bang] [bang] [bang] [bang]

You could have unplugged the jukebox ;D

so dan ... are you saying you had a harmony in your head?

Whenever I'm in doubt about things I do
I listen to the high street wailing sounds in a queue
I go out for my walking sailing social news
Don't let it get me down I'm long in the tooth

When I'm out in the open clattering shoppers around
The neon signs that take your eyes to town
Your thoughts are chosen your world is advertising now
And extravagance matters to worshippers of the pound

But it's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head

The tortured faces expression out aloud
And life's little ironies seem so obvious now
Your cashed in cheques have placed the payments down
And there's a line of buses all wait to take you out

But it's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head
It's a...

It's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head

Whenever I'm in doubt about things I do
I listen to the high street wailing sounds in a queue
I go out for my walking sailing social news
Don't let it get me down I'm long in the tooth

'Cos it's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head
It's a harmony in my head

I'm not really into punk, so I had to youtube "what do I get."  Now it's stuck in my head...

excellent ... now read post above (harmony in my head).

the 'cocks were/are the best second gen punk band ever ... great blend of punk and pop.

the other band of that era that one really needs to explore is the damned.  caught in the second gen punk movement (the pistols era) .. but offering a much richer musical pallet to the listener.  try listening to "In Dulce Decorum" off of their light at the end of the tunnel album (yes, album, vinyl ruled at that time).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F3LhBOtxA8&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F3LhBOtxA8&feature=related)

the lyrics are supposedly a translated letter from a roman soldier to his mother, explaining the horror of war ...

Dear mother how I will write this line

When I know I'm counting time

I'm tired and I'm scared

I'm waiting and death's my friend



To say in God we trust not for this

Oh the death and glory boys not for this



Dear beloved try to write to you

Through the senseless deaths of a million troops

I'm waiting my time is near

As my tears wash away my years



To say in God we trust not for this

Oh the death and glory boys not for this



Where I walk where I see

The haunting flares where my friends bleed

I see the face of the enemy

Of a man or boy who is just like me

Now you're not there

All the tears we bled

Cut through like winters rain

Can't you feel the pain



And if I could ever sleep again

I know till the end of time I'd hear

Their screams of pain

Dulce dulce decorum

Dulce dulce decorum

Dulce

Dear mother I'll write to you




 

My point exactly!! [bang] [bang]

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

don't be a hater, player  ;D

BTW, I did an amateur review of the new monster 1100.  It's in General:

http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=13509.msg232171#msg232171 (http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=13509.msg232171#msg232171)

I see you left the bike nice and dirty as they should be...  [moto]

did you only get the 1100 or were they letting you guys ride a bunch of different bikes? 

What did DTM & datv ride?

I rode an 1100 also.  Dan got a s2r1000.

I've been wondering about that place. i wondered in one afternoon, but it was dead. Hmm. I have to check it again now.