Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom
A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.
Last Updated: 2:55PM GMT 31 Oct 2008
The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.
He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.
The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in
Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.
Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll â€" and a carnation.
Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield's Northern General Hospital, said: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.
"But it's not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed."
She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.
"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening," she said.
"Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result."
A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: "Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.
"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."
geez
Jeez, I hate when that happens.
Quote from: triangleforge on December 09, 2008, 07:38:12 PM
Jeez, I hate when that happens.
me too, if i had a dollar for every time something got stuck in my ass....
wait, did i just share too much again?
Quote from: KnightofNi on December 09, 2008, 07:41:42 PM
me too, if i had a dollar for every time something got stuck in my ass....
wait, did i just share too much again?
well sharing is caring... :-X
Quote from: Duck-EZ on December 09, 2008, 07:30:26 PM
Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom
A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: "Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.
"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."
geez
If they're so discreet why are we reading about this? Just sayin' [roll]
Reminds me of a story I read several years ago in the local paper.
I couldn't find the original story, but here's what I remember.
Two gentlemen were admitted to the hospital here in Norfolk. One was treated for 2nd degree burns to his rectum and buttcheeks, and other for a broken nose. It seems that these two were boyfriends, and had decided to put their pet hamster up one guys ass . Using an empty toilet paper rol, they introduced the animal, and all was well, until they couldn't get the critter to come back out. Things got worse. The friend looked but coudn't see, so he held his lighter up to provide some light. Just then, his friend tried to push the critter out.The flame ignited some residual methane. The resulting explosion propelled the hamster into his face, breaking his nose. At the same time, the flames from the methane explosion lit the first genius' hind parts on fire.
The part I'll never forget was this; The two men are in stable condition, the hamster did not surviv.e
Heard that story when I was taking Human A&P during sophomore year of high school, 96-97 to be exact. I heard it was from the SLC Gazette. I'm sure snopes has an entry on it by now.
I'll go ahead and call this one false off the bat.
First: Any nurse talking to papers and giving out patient information will soon find herself in need of a job, but no one will want to hire her.
Second: If a potato winds up up yer rump, botulism is more of a concern than scarring. BELIEVE ME, most surgeons don't give a rat's ass about scars, except as they relate to healing.
Quote from: Bun-bun on December 09, 2008, 08:36:25 PM
Reminds me of a story I read several years ago in the local paper.
I couldn't find the original story, but here's what I remember.
Two gentlemen were admitted to the hospital here in Norfolk. One was treated for 2nd degree burns to his rectum and buttcheeks, and other for a broken nose. It seems that these two were boyfriends, and had decided to put their pet hamster up one guys ass . Using an empty toilet paper rol, they introduced the animal, and all was well, until they couldn't get the critter to come back out. Things got worse. The friend looked but coudn't see, so he held his lighter up to provide some light. Just then, his friend tried to push the critter out.The flame ignited some residual methane. The resulting explosion propelled the hamster into his face, breaking his nose. At the same time, the flames from the methane explosion lit the first genius' hind parts on fire.
The part I'll never forget was this; The two men are in stable condition, the hamster did not surviv.e
the version i have heard was titled "kiki's tunnel of love" and took place in SLC as well.
Quote from: Bun-bun on December 09, 2008, 08:36:25 PM
Reminds me of a story I read several years ago in the local paper.
I couldn't find the original story, but here's what I remember.
Two gentlemen were admitted to the hospital here in Norfolk. One was treated for 2nd degree burns to his rectum and buttcheeks, and other for a broken nose. It seems that these two were boyfriends, and had decided to put their pet hamster up one guys ass . Using an empty toilet paper rol, they introduced the animal, and all was well, until they couldn't get the critter to come back out. Things got worse. The friend looked but coudn't see, so he held his lighter up to provide some light. Just then, his friend tried to push the critter out.The flame ignited some residual methane. The resulting explosion propelled the hamster into his face, breaking his nose. At the same time, the flames from the methane explosion lit the first genius' hind parts on fire.
The part I'll never forget was this; The two men are in stable condition, the hamster did not surviv.e
F#$&g hilarious [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Quote from: KnightofNi on December 09, 2008, 09:33:45 PM
the version i have heard was titled "kiki's tunnel of love" and took place in SLC as well.
Yep.
Same here.
Quote from: KnightofNi on December 09, 2008, 07:41:42 PM
me too, if i had a dollar for every time something got stuck in my ass....
Dude, that made me laugh. And then laugh again.......and again. [laugh] [laugh]
Thankfully the recovery technique was not described [evil]
Perhaps this:
(http://www.kitchenaria.com/images/uploads/2andhalf-inch-Potato-Peeler.gif)
Or maybe one of these:
(http://www.joieshop.com/common/sitemedia/it2MrPotatoPeeler_140.jpg)
OMG i can't stop.
Mr Potato Ass
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/81/223583088_48d2400a8d.jpg?v=0)
One can of Bush's Baked Beans, a bottle of Guinness and 2 hardboiled eggs.
Human Potato Gun
Quote from: rgramjet on December 10, 2008, 06:47:50 AM
One can of Bush's Baked Beans, a bottle of Guinness and 2 hardboiled eggs.
Human Potato Gun
Or his head would explode ;D [laugh] Depends on how well lodged the potato was!
i shared this story witha friend of mine who happens to be a sex ed teacher.
his response was "And this is why i keep telling people to use more lube! Too much is almost enough"
this is the same guy who coined the phrase "With enough patience, practice, and lube you can get almost anything up there."
Quote from: KnightofNi on December 10, 2008, 07:29:49 AM
i shared this story witha friend of mine who happens to be a sex ed teacher.
his response was "And this is why i keep telling people to use more lube! Too much is almost enough"
this is the same guy who coined the phrase "With enough patience, practice, and lube you can get almost anything up there."
even another vicar
He says he was hanging curtains in the nude? Is exposing himself to the public really helping his story? I don't think so.
Quote from: Scooter Montgomery on December 10, 2008, 11:24:44 AM
He says he was hanging curtains in the nude? Is exposing himself to the public really helping his story? I don't think so.
Another great point I didn't think of! [thumbsup] :-\
Didn't Richard Gere once have a similar encounter with a hamster? :o
Quote from: johndoe on December 10, 2008, 12:58:27 PM
Didn't Richard Gere once have a similar encounter with a hamster? :o
ONCE? Subtract the hospital visit and he calls it an average Tuesday! [puke]