so Tuesday my wife tells me she's pregnant. This was neither expected or planned. She's 40. I'm 37. We have two daughters 8 and 5.
And I'm seriously freaking out.
Any words of wisdom, encouragement, whatever from anyone else who has had an "oops" child?
thanks
Andy
Well......at least you didn't have 8?
Ease into it slowly, my oops is 3 years old now :o
You're too old for the Foreign Legion.
ask her who the father is
dont tell the kid
I've had a similar scare this past year. I'm too old to start over.
congratulations! :)
you can do it!
is either of your other children a girl by any chance?
i ask because i was 5 when my brother was born,
and i was a huge help to my mom.
Quote from: Privateer on February 05, 2009, 09:55:27 PM
so Tuesday my wife tells me she's pregnant. This was neither expected or planned. She's 40. I'm 37. We have two daughters 8 and 5.
And I'm seriously freaking out.
Any words of wisdom, encouragement, whatever from anyone else who has had an "oops" child?
thanks
Andy
WOOOHOOO!! Congratulations, Andy! What a blessing. Our daughter was an 'unexpected joy' (wife on pill, had a plan, etc), and I can't think of anything better than that big two-toothed smile.
It'll keep you young, bro. Have a ball.
Greg
Quote from: Sinister on February 06, 2009, 06:27:49 AM
Have a ball.
i think that's how he got into this situation. ;D
My wife had our first son at the age of 40.
We were blessed with B/G twins 3 years ago this April. Her 47th birthday is today. Im 38.
Your daughters will be a HUGE help just as my oldest son is.
Its all good!
No words of help Andy, but my brother was an 'oops' and he was an endless source of joy as we grew up. [thumbsup]
Well, it might be unexpected, but thats a little late to worry about now ;D
You're going to be fine, you've done this twice before.
plus, now you have built in help
....plus, your wife is going to need you now. Don't forget that there are greater chances for problems when a woman gets pregnant after around 35.
My sister was and "oops" she is 15 years younger than me, :o 17 years between her and the oldest, and 13 between the youngest. It is almost like she is from a different generation, but has the same parents.
She is the greatest little kid and it taught me so much about raising and taking care of little ones. I think it keeps my parents young.
Quote from: Jacob T. Kirk on February 05, 2009, 11:38:35 PM
ask her who the father is
I'm going to steal that line! Yeah..right! That would NOT be good! :-X
Quote from: Duck-Stew on February 06, 2009, 08:48:54 AM
No words of help Andy, but my brother was an 'oops' and he was an endless source of joy as we grew up. [thumbsup]
[laugh]
I'm sure he says the same thing about you DS!
CONGRATS P!!
Once you both get past the brick-shitting phase, I'm sure you'll be fine. Its nothing you haven't seen before.
Quote from: Privateer on February 05, 2009, 09:55:27 PM
so Tuesday my wife tells me she's pregnant. This was neither expected or planned. She's 40. I'm 37. We have two daughters 8 and 5.
And I'm seriously freaking out.
Any words of wisdom, encouragement, whatever from anyone else who has had an "oops" child?
thanks
Andy
Congrats dude, I wouldn't sweat it. Kids are awesome. I have 2 ( 8 and 4 ) and could not imagine life without them. If I started a little younger, I'd have at least one more.
Best
Quote from: IZ on February 06, 2009, 09:00:36 AM
I'm sure he says the same thing about you DS!
Yeah, you're right! :D
I was an oops - mom was 44 and dad was 50. That was 35 years ago, when 40+ year old mothers were considered higher risk than today. I kept my parents young, and having a retired dad when I was 14 was pretty cool.
mitt
Count your blessings. My bro and his wife are doing their third round of IVF and have spent over $80K on trying to get preggers. BTW, you are still young.
Good luck.
love it
goodluck and best wishes.
hope you have a good job to pay for what you know is coming.
live and learn, you only have yourself to thank. [clap]
I don't know... congrats if you are happy... thats what counts.
Several friends of mine have had "scares" as they call it. Early 40's and just starting to enjoy life with the kids away at college. They both went out for celebration dinners when they found out they weren't preggo. Actually going away with one of the couples this week on vacation.... wouln't have happened if she was pregnant.
Quote from: Big Troubled Bear on February 05, 2009, 10:10:25 PM
Ease into it slowly, my oops is 3 years old now :o
Perhaps if he had eased into it slowly in the first place he would not have had to start this thread. ;D
Sell the forks...... diapers are expensive :P
On a serious note.... as a father of 3, one unplanned, you'll kick yourself fo feeling this way once you hold him or her. Ask me how I know.... I was an absolute ass to my wife when she came home with the ultrasound..... that little image is now almost 2 & I love her to pieces.
Give it some time & look for the positives...... you'll be much better off down the road [thumbsup]
Quote from: MrIncredible on February 05, 2009, 10:09:10 PM
Well......at least you didn't have 8?
Please tell me you have never considered a career as a councilor? ;D
Quote from: superjohn on February 06, 2009, 07:36:02 PM
Please tell me you have never considered a career as a councilor? ;D
Actually....I
was a councilor :P
doesn't say a GOOD counselor.....
Quote from: MrIncredible on February 06, 2009, 07:40:11 PM
Actually....I was a councilor :P
for little girls at a summer camp? ;D
Quote from: ducpainter on February 06, 2009, 08:14:24 PM
for little girls at a summer camp? ;D
Can't say-it's councilor-client privileges.
Quote from: MrIncredible on February 06, 2009, 08:17:51 PM
Can't say-it's councilor-client privileges.
You're not one of those....
are you?
To the OP........ one way to turn this into a true positive would be to hire BP as your nanny [laugh]
thank you for the kind words, advice, and encouragement.
We struggled to have our first two kids, so this one.. well we never expected to conceive without treatment. I'm still trying to get my head around it, but I figure I have 8 months or so to figure it out.
Pretty much puts everything on hold for 5 years. New carpet? not until the kids are older. Big vacation? Not until the kids are older. Save $5,000/year on child care? Not until the kids are older. Now to figure out where everyone is going to sleep, we ran out of bedrooms.
Andy
Everything thats on hold will pale in comparison the first time that little critter falls asleep on your chest.
Bunk beds are your friend!
ditto on the bunk beds :)
my older brother and i shared a bedroom until my little brother started sleeping through the night,
then i got my own room back...
My parents had 7 "oops" kids. They had the youngest when the oldest was 22. I was number 5. My mom was 42 when the youngest was born. It's all good! You are going to have a blast. Post the ultrasound picture when you get it.
I was 41 when my little Rachael came along. I did the math real quickly when my wife gave me the news - 64 years old to get out of college. WOW! Had my head spinning. Well it's 15 now, 5'10" and the son I always wanted. She's pushing to trade her 230TT for a 250 Ninja and she's got her eye on the RS and the old Norton.
Look at those eyes. Looking back now, there's no Faustian bargain I wouldn't make to keep her.
At 13 and now 15. (http://i463.photobucket.com/albums/qq353/1ajess/Rachael.jpg) (http://i463.photobucket.com/albums/qq353/1ajess/CSC_0611.jpg)
well she saw the OB last week and he thinks everything will be OK. Did an ultrasound and heartbeat was there, so that's one hurdle. She's about 8 weeks now; due in september. I'm still pretty freaked out about this.. mostly afraid I'll have another girl.. In my immediate family, there are 10 people. Me and my dad are the only men. Be nice to have a boy, but a girl would be fine as well. At this point I'm more concerned with the.. developmental.. problems that children of older mothers have a higher chance of getting.
so healthy is #1. don't get me wrong. I'm fine with whatever comes out. The other two girls are excited about it, and only a little worried about sharing a room. Mostly about whose room do they move into and what color are the walls going to be painted.
more details as more develop. Thanks again for he support. Broke the news to the boss today. Hopefully that will subconsciously keep me from getting laid off (which is really where my fear is rooted. Two years ago, i would've just found a new job.. but now...)
Andy
I'll still be 32 when my oops graduates high school this year.
He knows he's an oops.
At least we got to kinda grow up together. [thumbsup]
Again, congrats, Privateer. I can understand you being worried, but look at it this way: older moms have a higher rate of developmental probs, but overall, it's still a really low rate. Anyway, we'll be thinking about you. Good luck.
I see a baby bear in somebodys future. ;D
lm says " congrats! "
so brief update.
after two sonograms, things seem to be OK. First one showed the nose bones (lack of indicates down's syndrome), 2nd one at the hospital pre-natal diagnostic center showed some fluid space in the neck that was normal thickness. They took some of the wife's blood to test for chromosomal markers (didn't take any from me tho, strangely). We've yet to hear back from those.
I'm still getting used to the idea, but I'm not debilitated by the freak-out like I was before. If I can only make it through this calendar year without getting laid off...
I'm hoping against hope of a boy. I'd like one more dude around here to even up the odds.
thanks again for all the kind words. more news as more develops.
andy
Warm wishes sent from Ventura county Andy... So glad everyone's doing fine...
Take care, and breathe every once in a while... [thumbsup]
--Stu
36 weeks.
(http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/6321/sonogram1.jpg) (http://img248.imageshack.us/i/sonogram1.jpg/)
Definitely a girl. No big deal. Healthy kid is all I ask. Haven't settled on a name yet. We're deciding between Claire Megan or Jillian Megan
Congrats on being the only man in the house, My oops will be 4 in 3 weeks, and at least foe now I am still his hero................
...................when Transformers are not on the telly ;D
looking good already!
mitt
Both really pretty names. Congrats!
Butterflies any better yet? ;)
[clap]
Quote from: He Man on February 06, 2009, 12:16:35 AM
dont tell the kid
He Man, I think you might have been joking, but...this can be a very serious issue. My brother-in-law was an "ooops" kid and during his childhood his parents never let him forget that he wasn't wanted. He came out sort of OK, but it has to have left a mark.
The first four kids were raised very well, it seems like the parents were just completely burned out on kids when the last one came along. I know this doesn't relate to the present case, but just thought I'd put it out here.
God bless you!
I wish this would happen for us.
We even spent money on the baby process. Enough to have a Desmosedici!
I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or feel bad for me but mistake, accident whatever you may call it it is a blessing!
Congrats on your unexpected news! [thumbsup]
Glad to hear all is going well. [thumbsup]
Congrats [thumbsup]
Quote from: Got Duc on August 28, 2009, 02:27:27 PM
God bless you!
I wish this would happen for us.
We even spent money on the baby process. Enough to have a Desmosedici!
I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or feel bad for me but mistake, accident whatever you may call it it is a blessing!
Congrats on your unexpected news! [thumbsup]
thanks. We struggled with the first two which is why this one was such a surprise and which is why I was so completely freaked out. I'm over it now and of course I'll love her like my other two.
I wish the best for you. You might be surprised about what life has in store for you. I sure was.
Hurray for accidental children!
LOLs for posting pics of hot daughter.
best wishes sent :)
i like babies :)
Hell yeah!
Congrats Andy! [thumbsup]
Kids are great. We have three also, girl-16, girl-7, boy-5.
Sure, i'll be in a wheelchair by the time my son graduates high school, but i wouldn't change a thing.
Congrats! Our little one was a bit of an "oops" as well but he's the best thing that's ever happened to us. My husband was 40 when he was born. Sure, he'll be old when Rowan is in college but I don't think that will make much of a difference. Oh and I LOVE the name Claire. ;)
Quote from: Got Duc on August 28, 2009, 02:27:27 PM
God bless you!
I wish this would happen for us.
We even spent money on the baby process. Enough to have a Desmosedici!
I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or feel bad for me but mistake, accident whatever you may call it it is a blessing!
Congrats on your unexpected news! [thumbsup]
Our 3.5 year old twins ended up costing 1098R money to conceive.....funny way of putting it.
Good Luck!
Quote from: NeenjaMastah on August 30, 2009, 10:18:49 AM
Congrats! Our little one was a bit of an "oops" as well but he's the best thing that's ever happened to us. My husband was 40 when he was born. Sure, he'll be old when Rowan is in college but I don't think that will make much of a difference. Oh and I LOVE the name Claire. ;)
My dad was 50 when I was born. I kept him young for his age ;D
mitt
I was 38 when I had my first and only child, knowing what i know now I wish I had started earlier and had three kids, I am envious of you and wish you luck well done.
Don
Again thank you everyone for your good thoughts and advice.
Sunday we went into the hospital and today we got this.
Claire Megan
(http://web.me.com/michaelwking/iWeb/Michael%20King%27s%20web%20home/Baby%20Claire_files/IMG_0716.jpg)
11:30am, 6lbs 11oz, 20 1/2 inches
Yes, that is a Ducati Meccanica shirt I'm wearing.
Awesome! What a cutie!
Congrats! [drink]
mitt
somebody needs a bear [cheeky]
Congrats! How precious she is...
[clap]
Quote from: bobspapa on September 21, 2009, 05:46:34 PM
somebody needs a bear beer [cheeky]
Three girls? Yes, I need a beer.
Awesome! Many congrats to you, your wife and daughters! It appears that Claire is giving you "that" look already. ;)
That look? It looks like the one that says "Daddy, can I have a pony?" :D Congratulations!
Congratulations....
but you're doomed as doomed can be. ;)
Congratulations, Andy! She is beautiful!!
~Michelle
She's lovely! Congrats!
What a happy day for you!! Congrats!!
Congrats! [beer]
Don't have much else to say but, congrats! [thumbsup]
congratulations! she's beautiful :)
Way to go.
Did you teach her any tricks yet?
Congrats to the new parents. [thumbsup] [beer]
[beer]
Congratulations. Glad to hear that mom + new daughter are happy and healthy. [thumbsup]
Congrats!!
You're outnumbered! :o RUUUUUUN!!!!!
Ahem...
What I meant to say was: Congrats! [beer]
congratulations - she's beautiful. [clap]
Indeed Andy. Beautiful. Many heart-felt congrats! [thumbsup] [beer] [wine] [clap]
thanks again, everyone. It always amazes me how a group of strangers can grow to care and know each other so well, even when some of us (myself included) don't always get along well with others. Your warm thoughts and well wishes mean a lot to me, and remind me to be nicer to people here and in RL.
We're slowly adjusting life with an infant and all their assorted accessories. Luckily I'm off work for 2 weeks and the wife is on disability for a while.
Donations to college and wedding savings accounts are now being accepted. Monster parts and/or custom work is also accepted in lieu of cash ;)
Andy
edit: forgot this
(http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/554/claireday2.jpg) (http://img199.imageshack.us/i/claireday2.jpg/)
She's what, a week old, and she's already practicing "The Wave?!"
Coolest babeh ever. [thumbsup]
and I sealed the deal tonight...
(http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs229.snc1/7634_1236877887295_1389679964_671509_545047_n.jpg)
Tattoo, huh?
Well, I guess now you've got to keep her ;D