So I got the call. A friend of mine was killed in a motorcycle accident this weekend. He was likely going too fast, and from the report, it sounds like he may have been riding "erratically" - not sure if alcohol was involved, but not out of the realm of possibilities.
The friend that called to give me the news, occaissionally rides, and was with him that night, before they went their separate ways. He is selling his bike, and never riding again. He called me to tell/ask me to be careful.
I can't stop thinking about the family aspect. My buddy is survived by a lovely wife & daughter. I have the same. I know that we cannot control other riders, drivers, conditions, etc. We take risks everytime we take a breath, walk the streets, put on a helmet & throw a leg over, whatever. I accept those risks, and do what i can to minimize them (most of the time)
That being said, i love motorcycles.
The freedom, independence, messing with my bike, cleaning, gearing up for a ride, all aspects. I can't ever imagine what life would be like without it.
Something less than living, I suspect.
My wife, who strongly dislikes/fears motorcycles for the safety aspect, supports my love of them.
That is all. No sympathies please, just wanted to express my love for a lost friend, the women & bikes in my life.
RIP, my friend.
Ride on my friend.
I currently don't have kids, but when I do I would not want them to grow up without a father. That being said I also love riding a motorcycle. I will probably only do track days once I have young'uns of my own. Maybe something to consider on your end.
Sorry to hear about your friend, God's Speed.
I just found out one of my employee's fathers got into a serious accident yesterday on his bike. He was life flighted to the hospital where he remains in critical condition with a fractured skull, bleeding around his brain, broken ribs, and numerous other broken bones.
Come to find out.............he wasn't wearing a helmet. [bang]
I just hate seeing accidents like this where the serious head injury could have been prevented / reduced if the rider was wearing a helmet, but to each their own on how they ride.
You gotta do what you gotta do. My dad and brother in law gave up riding after my accident. It happens. Somethings you have control over, others you don't. Only you can make the right decision. Which ever you chose will be the right decision, for you...
The loss of a young father and husband is truly the worst tragedy of all. You live how you want to and take into consideration the family around you, but there is no right or wrong answer. I have some personal experience here and I still ride, I compare it to what I might do if the accident had happened in a car.
You can continue to ride, or not. You can insure yourself up to the eyeballs. You can ride the next 30 years and not have a problem. You can get hit by a truck this evening. Things are going to happen. Yesterday at Pismo Beach/Oceano Dunes Recreactional Vehicle park, about 15 miles from where I live, an EMT search and rescue guy on a quad was run over and killed by an ambulance, according to the news this morning. Accidents are going to happen. Car accident. Industrial accident. Getting struck by lightning. I suppose if you choose not to take any risks at all, you might be a bit safer. But we are all involved in an individualist sport. We can choose to ride safely, not drink and ride, wear the gear, and still get killed. Some people are going to live recklessly their entire lives and never get a scratch.
It's each individuals decision.
I hate stories such as this. But from a famous movie I qoute " get busy living or get busy dyeing." I have to say that I am a miserable S.O.B. when I am not able to ride. Some people need certain things in life just to get by. I 'll continue riding until my body no longer allows me to. This being said if you have kids you have certain responsiblities. And riding inappropriately is no better than dinking and driving a car or playing with guns. The law of averages will catch up with you.
RIP.
Tough decision we all make and ponder ongoing basis I suppose. I sometimes wonder if I would continue to ride if I had a family. At this point, I can say I will ride always but I do not honestly know what I would do if wifie and kids are in the picture. I will probably be miserable not riding....
This sport is dangerous
We all know this. Yet we continue to ride.
It is tough to be reminded of this. Last year I did CPR on a biker. I was first on scene and helped all the way until he was in the ambulance. This young man passed away at 21 years young. The incident shook me really bad. I considered giving up the bikes. I let the bikes "rest" for a while and got back to it a few weeks later. I was shakey at first and it took a while to gain confidence. But I got through it.
When I rejoined the ranks of the motorcyclist last year after a (ohmigodhasitbeenthatlong?) 15-year hiatus, I thought about this risk/reward thing quite a bit, and considered what I'd tell my brother, or my mother, or my wife, if they ever had to stand over my grave because of a motorcycle accident.
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
RIP
Very well written trenner.
My greatest fear is the pain my death would cause my wife. We both skydive, I ride also, these things make our lives richer and therefore make our lives together richer. Life can be as much or as little as you make it. Do what is right for you and honor your friend's memory.
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
Excellent writing there.....loved it and intend to pass it around to a few I can think of...Thanks!
RIP, Jaman's friend.
Jaman, no need to make up your mind now. Give yourself a while off the bike if needed, it's all about balance and you are the only one who can figure that out.
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
When I rejoined the ranks of the motorcyclist last year after a (ohmigodhasitbeenthatlong?) 15-year hiatus, I thought about this risk/reward thing quite a bit, and considered what I'd tell my brother, or my mother, or my wife, if they ever had to stand over my grave because of a motorcycle accident.
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
Good read, thanks!
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
My thoughts exactly if I could put them into words, great writing.
QuoteI can't stop thinking about the family aspect. My buddy is survived by a lovely wife & daughter. I have the same. I know that we cannot control other riders, drivers, conditions, etc. We take risks everytime we take a breath, walk the streets, put on a helmet & throw a leg over, whatever. I accept those risks, and do what i can to minimize them (most of the time)
With a new (second) daughter, I think about this often. For me it is all about risk tolerance. I mitigate risk at at work, I do it at home, and I do it while riding. Luckily I recently found trackdays. Now I can enjoy my self in a controlled and relatively safe manner on the road and still enjoy myself at speed in a relatively safe manner on the track. Does this remove all risk, absolutely not. It never can. But it reduces it to an acceptable level for me. Only you can find an acceptable level for you. I had thought about giving it up but I know I would only find my way back.
QuoteJaman, no need to make up your mind now. Give yourself a while off the bike if needed
+1, take time off if needed. It is easy and cheap. We will be hear waiting for you either way.
It is very unfortunate about your friend's accident, but someone up there needed him more. We can be snatched up at any time doing any activity. I could fall in the shower and break my neck, choke on a piece of food, or a 747 could land on my head at any given moment. All I can do is try to live my life with no regrets, and that's what everyone else should do too. If you choose to continue riding, I applaud you. And if you decide to hang up your helmet, that's fine too, but please don't let fear rule your life. Just keep your head on straight and live your life with no regrets.
Quote from: Jaman on May 26, 2009, 12:45:33 PM
Dealing with Fatalities
My wife and I lost a good friend a little over two years ago. We continue to ride because we know he would have liked us to continue. It was a common bond that we had with him in our shared friendship.
We try to remember him on the anniversary of his death, start off the new year by trying to ride on January 1st and dedicate the ride to him, when we ride past the spot where he lost his life we slow down and give "him" the peace sign or a thumbs up or state that we miss him........there are lots of ways to view the motorcycling death of a friend and many ways to handle them....
RIP for your friend....
RIP for "Billy"....
(http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d32/Kramer_Krazy/Billy_Stone.jpg)
It's a difficult thing sometimes. My fiancée and I lost to friends from another forum. They were riding 2up with a group from that forum, and inexplicably ran wide and the resulting crash took their lives. We think about it every time we both saddle up. We still ride because we know they would prefer it that way.
JM
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
When I rejoined the ranks of the motorcyclist last year after a (ohmigodhasitbeenthatlong?) 15-year hiatus, I thought about this risk/reward thing quite a bit, and considered what I'd tell my brother, or my mother, or my wife, if they ever had to stand over my grave because of a motorcycle accident.
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
Good stuff, Trenner!! Thanks for sharing that. [thumbsup]
To clarify, i am NOT considering giving up riding, I don't know that I could ever do that. +1 to the "miserable bastard" when I haven't ridden for even a few days. My wife will attest to that, and has said on more than one occaision" why don't you go for a ride today! ;) (can I say it again, I LOVE that woman.)
I guesss it has been kinda gnawing at me the last couple of days... in addition to being sad that he is gone, I feel for his daughter. Having lost a few people close to me when I was her age, I know how difficult it is, and can continue to be...
what I am taking from his death is to continue to a.) minimize the risks as much as possible and staying vigilant about being aware of my surroundings, and b.) my impact as a rider, ie being an ambassador as much as possible.
It has been a bit of an eye opener, looking at some of the harsh insensitive comments on the online news stories related to his death, how much negativity towards motorcyclists is out there. Not much I can do about 99.9% of those people, but I will continue to try.
Unfortunately we've all lost loved ones, be it due to a motorcycle accident or not, and there's little consolation I can offer that would make it any easier. I am however extremely glad to see that you're taking it as well or better than anyone (myself included) would handle the situation. If it's what you need to do, by all means keep on riding.
I'm extremely guilty of becoming entirely too complacent in both my life and the lives of those I love. Last year my mother fell and broke her neck. Two surgeries and a month later she's up puttering around the house and 8 months later she's back on the motorcycle (don't get me started here). I'm going to do what it takes to make me happy and analyze the risk as I go, but I'm a fan of the Kieth Buckley quote : I'd rather live my life in regret than not take part in it.
i agree its sad that there are people that will not or do not want to learn why people ride motorcycles. its truly one of those things "if i have to explain it, you wouldn't understand"
basically we all ride for our own reasons, and all enjoy it in differnt ways. trying to put that "feeling" into words never captures it fully why you like riding. what i do know is that look of someone that when they are done with a good ride, and they have a huge smile on their faces.. yeah they enjoyed that and that is good.
best wishes to you.
plenty of curvy roads in the big mans kingdom. hes in good hands. rip
Quote from: Jaman on May 27, 2009, 08:29:15 AM
It has been a bit of an eye opener, looking at some of the harsh insensitive comments on the online news stories related to his death, how much negativity towards motorcyclists is out there. Not much I can do about 99.9% of those people, but I will continue to try.
A friend of mine has a father who doesn't understand why she would ever consider riding a motorcycle. Dangerous, socially offensive, uncomfortable, all that.
That prejudice is hard to overcome without the person on the other side ever having piloted a bike. There's definitely an aspect of "you just have to try it to understand".
With regards to the safety aspect, there's a good report about motorcycle crash statistics here (http://www.iii.org/media/hottopics/insurance/motorcycle/).
Some interesting takeaways from the article:
Quote
"Of all fatally injured motorcycle riders, 28 percent had BACs of 0.08 percent or higher in 2007. Another 8 percent had lower alcohol levels (0.01 to 0.07 percent BAC.)"
"36 percent of all motorcycle riders involved in fatal crashes were speeding"
"Twenty-six percent of motorcycle riders who were involved in fatal crashes were riding without a valid license"
Taken together (and assuming that people weren't doing more than one of them at once): 98% of all fatal bike crashes involve drinking, speeding, or a lack of proper licensing (and presumably training).
I make my plans accordingly. To me, that means never riding with alcohol in my system, and making sure that I'm licensed and trained properly. The speeding? Well, that sometimes falls under the category of "acceptable risk" for me, depending upon the road and conditions.
EDIT: fixed math, and explicitly stated my assumption about overlap.
Quote from: trenner on May 27, 2009, 09:38:07 AM
Some interesting takeaways from the article:
"Of all fatally injured motorcycle riders, 28 percent had BACs of 0.08 percent or higher in 2007. Another 8 percent had lower alcohol levels (0.01 to 0.07 percent BAC.)"
"36 percent of all motorcycle riders involved in fatal crashes were speeding"
"Twenty-six percent of motorcycle riders who were involved in fatal crashes were riding without a valid license"
I don't think these statistics are mutually exclusion, meaning that there would some overlapping. So it's incorrect to add up all the percentages to 98%. For an example, a guy can have greater than 0.08 BAC AND speeding WHILE not having a valid license.
Anyway, I do agree with you, Trenner, that we shall all do what we can to minimize the risk when we ride or when we do anything, for that matter. Don't drink and drive/ride; don't do crazy things; don't speed (exceesively); wear proper gear/protection. I know there is potential risk in anything we do in life. But it would be unwise NOT to minimize it as much as we can.
Let's be safe and be smart out there!
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
When I rejoined the ranks of the motorcyclist last year after a (ohmigodhasitbeenthatlong?) 15-year hiatus, I thought about this risk/reward thing quite a bit, and considered what I'd tell my brother, or my mother, or my wife, if they ever had to stand over my grave because of a motorcycle accident.
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
JAMAR:
Very sorry to hear about your friend. May he RIP. And well done on posting about it here. It's important to be reminded of the possible consequences of what we do, and love. I truly feel for your friend's wife and daughter.
TRENNER:
Very nicely written piece. As a father of young children, and one who LOVES to ride (and sometimes fast), I found it intensely relevant. We certainly do have a choice: walk away from something we love, or try to figure out a way to reduce the risk involved as much as possible. At this point, I've chosen the latter. I can't give it up. But I do think about what life would be like for my two young daughters without me, and realize some of my choices have been selfish (I can take that curve faster, I can smoke this wanker, how fast can this bike really go?, etc.) Good to be reminded of the stakes involved. No way to eliminate the risk, but certainly there are ways to lessen the possibility of tragedy. I see track days, perhaps many of them, in my future, and fewer high speed canyon strafing runs, since I'm just substituting for the track there anyway...
Btw, if you don't write professionally, you should. I do (been working as a screenwriter since '97.) You are able to use words to communicate effectively, and eloquently - a rare ability. Make use of it. Best,
Topangster
Quote from: trenner on May 26, 2009, 05:15:17 PM
When I rejoined the ranks of the motorcyclist last year after a (ohmigodhasitbeenthatlong?) 15-year hiatus, I thought about this risk/reward thing quite a bit, and considered what I'd tell my brother, or my mother, or my wife, if they ever had to stand over my grave because of a motorcycle accident.
I wrote this (http://trenner.blogspot.com/2008/07/not-everybody-lives.html). It's not everything that I'd want to say, but it's a start. Hopefully it'd make 'em laugh, too.
RIP. We've all done stuff we shouldn't have. Usually, things work out, but sadly not always. Its rare that I find my thoughts perfectly expressed by another, but Trenner nailed it. As for me, when I find myself getting carried away or making mistakes that I normally wouldn't, I try to picture my wife's and kids' faces. That tends to straighten me up.
I think about my 3 kids every time I take the bike out for a spin....Always make sure to give them a huge hug and a kiss before taking even a short ride.
Dont have the time to ride anywhere near as much as I used to. Luckily I dig my bike so much, just shining it up or working on it brings me joy.
My wife was anxious about me riding especially after having twins. Funny how a shit ton of life insurance can relieve the anxiety. Running joke is a Turbocharged Hayabusa will be waiting for me under the Christmas tree! lol
A local bike shop just lost a sales guy whom I met on several occasions. Super cool dude, wife and kid the whole tragic bit. Sucky stuff.
RIP Frank from Colemans!
Another Rider leaves us to join the Big Ride in the sky.
I don't focus on the negatives when I jump on the bike, I always try to ride within my limts and allow an margin of error, but it is a dangerous pasttime, and sadly you control some aspects of your safety (how you ride, the safety and upkeep of your bike, Etc) but a vast majority of accidents are caused ny other drivers, we have all heard the excuse "Sorry Mate, didn't see you"
I just try to focus on the positive of our past time, acknowledge the negative and respect it.
Ride on [thumbsup]