Greetings all!
Some of you may have noticed (or not) that I haven't been very active on the forum for a few months. There are several things that have been going on in my life that have created some huge stress in my life and I have for the most part been avoiding everyone. If I have not responded to your pm's or inquiries then I truely apologise.
Not to make excuses, but here's whats been going on.
A few months ago, Ducpainter and I had a small disagreement over a board policy that he feels I may have overreacted to. Quite frankly, it's entirely possible that I did as I have been known to do that on occasion. ;) For this I feel I owe Nate a personal apology. The apology is for the overreaction as I still feel I was right and I had a valid point. Regardless, I hope he can forgive me.
A few days prior to all of this, I learned that my mother has breast cancer and would require a mastectomy. As I'm sure you can understand, that news had a profound impact on me and my family. Additionally, as some of you may know, I live with my elderly grandmother as I am her primary caregiver. Her health has recently taken a turn for the worst. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers several years ago and recently her dementia has become almost unmanagable. Her short term memory loss is in a progressed state and every day is a challenge for both her and myself. She literally forgets every conversation 30 seconds after we have it, more often sooner. Most recently she doesn't remember anything except things that happened many years ago when she was a child and a young adult. She continually thinks she is a visitor in her own home and asks every day when I'm going to bring her home as she thinks she still lives in her old house down the street. She has lived in the current home for almost 60 years. Additionally, she went through a stage where she thought it was 20-30 years ago. She would stand looking out the front window for hours waiting for her husband to come home. My grandfather passed away 25 years ago and you can't imagine how hard it is to tell your grandmother her husband is dead over and over again many times a day. It was like she just learned it for the first time every time I told her. This also went on when she asked about friends that had passed many years ago as well.
You are all probably wondering why I am posting this and to tell you the truth I'm not sure myself entirely. I think that writing it down will help me deal with it somehow. Also, I felt the need to apologise to anyone who I may not have responded to over the last few months or have slighted in any way. Many of you have inquired about my ecu reflashing service or a certain mod on my bike and I tried my best to get back to you in a timely manner. If I failed to respond, please send along another pm and I'll do my best you help you out.
Moving on....
I'm sure that most of you have noticed that my Monster is for sale. Although my financial situation is far from stable right now, that isn't the motivation for it's sale. For some reason I just haven't felt like riding and making the payment every month just doesn't seem worth it. It may have something to do with all the pressure I have in my life right now and maybe in the future I will get the urge to buy another one, but for right now it has to go. I do have someone who is seriously interested but if it doesn't sell in the next few weeks, look for a part out thread in the parts for sale section.
So I guess what all this means is that I won't be spending as much time here on the forum, going on the NEMHA group rides or being available to help out the local guys. At least I can honestly say while I was here I did my best to make this community a better place. During my time here and on the old board, I have met many people that I now consider friends. I am thankful for the opportunity to be associated with such a great group of people and I wish you all the best and happiness in the world.
Ride safe,
'Mash
what size are you, you have any good riding clothes you wanna get rid of?
Tom,
sounds like a rough spot. My grandmother had Alzheimer's, and I know how difficult it can be for those playing a support role.
I appreciate all the help that you've offered me, and your goodwill won't be soon forgotten. I feel pretty damn lucky that I got a personal introduction to the DMF (not to mention my 696) from you. I'm sure the urge to ride will hit you again sooner or later. When it does, I'm sure we'll all be here, and will help you get that next ride as pimpin as your current one.
In the meantime, if you need to get out of the house and forget about stuff for a bit, hit me up. We're not too far away.
~T
sorry to hear about the reasons you were away from the DMF. Its always better to get something on writing, and i think i can say for many of us, we're here if you ever need us. Things will get smoother eventually. my grandmother also suffers from alzheimers and keeps thinking Mao is still the communist party leader (she even once told me to hide the rice grains and the rifles, which i found hilarious because those must of been some seriously nutty times back then)
Regardless, i only wish the best for you man.
btw whats your drink? Salute. [wine]
Tom, quite a burden on your shoulders. I should have known the sale of your motorcycle was more than you didn't feel like riding anymore. My best to you and your family. If there is anything we can do, don't hesitate to ask.
To a great son and grandson [wine]
Off topic PS: Though Tom's bike might seem pricey, unlike most modified bikes it is more than worth the asking price. The details are incredible. Why don't I buy it? Two reasons; the bike is too precious to abuse on the streets of NYC and I can't afford it.
big hug
It might not seem like it, but as they say, "This too shall pass", "That which does not kill us...", etc...etc...
It is hard watching family members get older and less capable (or incapable) of caring for themselves. Perhaps it doesn't seem like much at the moment, but you can console yourself with the fact that you are not alone in your struggles, and that you can reach out to any of us if you have need. My Grandmother was in the grips of Alzheimers but was not willing to relinquish her independence. She had her good days, and her bad days. On one really bad day almost five months ago, she crossed the street at the wrong time and didn't make it.
All you can do is just continue to be there for her, and be strong for yourself and your family.
And I second BP's big hug.
Third big hug.
Quote from: Monstermash on May 29, 2009, 11:25:47 PM
You are all probably wondering why I am posting this and to tell you the truth I'm not sure myself entirely. I think that writing it down will help me deal with it somehow.
Hey Tom, getting a bit off your chest will help. That's an incredibly tough and emotionally trying set of events that your dealing with. Just being able to talk about it with us, or anyone about it can be a relief. Don't be afraid to call on you buddies to just go out for a beer and vent session.
I hope things improve for you.
I'd bring the s2r to live w/ her older sister... but I can't ride right now anyways - so it'd be a waste of that bike
Sorry to hear all those things happening around you. You are a good man to have taken on the responsibility of carrying for your family. Perhaps the added stress had prompt the "over-reaction" with the other board members. Not to make an excuse for you but you do have a lot going on your plate. Keep your head up. I am sure you are much appreciated for all that you do!
Better livng through chemistry. Hope it all works out.
Sorry to hear things are so rough, positive thoughts sent.
who.........?
just kidding dude!
might you want to sell your rear sets now?
[laugh]
Do your self a big favor. Take a deep breath, sit back and analize your situation. I've been throught some rough times, still am. If you are any thing like me, the Monster may be one of the things which allows you to escape. We need the simple pleasures in life. Even if I dont want to ride, just knowing that its parked in the garage puts a little glimmer in my eye.
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 29, 2009, 11:28:08 PM
what size are you, you have any good riding clothes you wanna get rid of?
Dude......give it some time ;)
Tom,
Good on you for taking care of your Grandma [thumbsup] My family went thru that with my Grandma..... we called her the original Madona because she would wear her bra over her blouse [laugh] She was strong physically & she would think we were strangers & chase us out of the house with her broom :o Got to the point where she had to have 24 hr. care as we were afraid she'd burn the house down trying to cook dinner. She thought the rest home was cruise ship which made us feel a little better...... not much.
As for the bike, I'd part it out if you've kept all you stock stuff...... heck you'd make enogh on the parts to make some payments & you might realize how nice they are stock...... quiet too ;D
All the best & as mentioned above, don't hesitate to ask if you need anything [thumbsup]
Quote from: scduc on May 30, 2009, 04:31:49 PM
Do your self a big favor. Take a deep breath, sit back and analize your situation. I've been throught some rough times, still am. If you are any thing like me, the Monster may be one of the things which allows you to escape. We need the simple pleasures in life. Even if I dont want to ride, just knowing that its parked in the garage puts a little glimmer in my eye.
Now that was a Freudian slip if I ever saw one... [laugh] [laugh]
Another big hug, and props to you for taking care of Mom and Grams. [thumbsup]
I'm still struggling from time to time with my Dad's untimely demise in November '08, which was topped off just a few weeks ago in late April by the death of a childhood friend, taken by brain cancer in her mid-30s. Nadine, we miss ya babe. :'(
Hang in there, dude.
Quote from: Chchadder on May 30, 2009, 05:43:37 PM
Now that was a Freudian slip if I ever saw one... [laugh] [laugh]
Yeah , I have to apologize for that one. I forgot to do a spell check. I hope he knows what I meant.
Quote from: Monstermash on May 29, 2009, 11:25:47 PM
So I guess what all this means is that I won't be spending as much time here on the forum, going on the NEMHA group rides or being available to help out the local guys.
It just isn't that easy . You don't get out of this organization just by selling your Monster ;) You will still be one of the gang. Hopefully a quick trip back to this board every now and then will lift your spirits.
I've been through the whole Alzheimer's experience with my mom who finally died this time last year. I know it's not easy, and I know how quickly it can get you down. Coupling that with your mom's cancer is a double dose of bad stuff. Although it's hard to do, remember to take care of yourself first.
See ya around.
Life can really beat us up sometimes.
Thank god you've got friends here.
+1, you can sell the monster, but you're still part of the gang.
Thanks for caring enough about us to let us know.
laura
Big hug Mash [thumbsup]
My thoughts are with you and your family, man!
And don't be a total stranger, even if you just come back on here to vent about life...it's a good outlet for that.
Thank you for all the responses everyone! I am truely touched by all the sympathy and advice. :'(
You guys are the best! [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down]
I wish I could say that it was getting easier but it's not that case. I'm not expecting anything to change anytime soon. I will say that just knowing that you guys are here for me makes me feel better and encourages me to carry on and make the best of the situation.
Anyway, in an attempt to get away from the everyday grind I'm trying to get a group ride together next Sunday (6/14) with the local guys. I'm hoping it will allow me some time to relax and enjoy myself. It might even remind me of why I loved riding so much in the past and reconsider keeping the bike but who knows.
Other than that I don't know what else to say except thank you all again for everything.
To quote someone much wiser than myself......"Live long and prosper"
Be safe,
'Mash
Quote from: Monstermash on June 04, 2009, 10:26:56 AM
Anyway, in an attempt to get away from the everyday grind I'm trying to get a group ride together on Sunday with the local guys.
Count me in.
~T
Best wishes to you.