ok so i'm the best man at a wedding this week, my question is what do I give the groom?
im thinking $500 to $1000 cash?
I paid for a lot at the bachelor party in Montreal 2 weeks (hotel, drinks, dinner, strip[pers, cost me about $2,000) ago plus im flying to the wedding
also the speech, im terrified of public speaking, can my speech just be short and sweet or does it have to be a big speech speech?
any advice would be great
Your speech should come from the heart.
Length matters not.
It's about content. [thumbsup]
I was my brother's best man... didn't give him a damned thing, but got shitfaced at the reception... so I guess that's something...
Quote from: trouble on May 31, 2009, 05:56:53 PM
Your speech should come from the heart.
Length matters not.
It's about content. [thumbsup]
Says shortie... ;D
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 05:52:54 PM
ok so i'm the best man at a wedding this week, my question is what do I give the groom?
im thinking $500 to $1000 cash?
I paid for a lot at the bachelor party in Montreal 2 weeks (hotel, drinks, dinner, strip[pers, cost me about $2,000) ago plus im flying to the wedding
also the speech, im terrified of public speaking, can my speech just be short and sweet or does it have to be a big speech speech?
any advice would be great
You covered most of the bachelor party, so I'd go lower on the gift amount.
The last best man speech was 4-5 minutes max, and everyone seemed to like it. Content matters more.
I'm currently in the process of planning a wedding... I think you got it backwards? The groom is supposed to give the best man a thank you giftâ€"your gift to the groom is your presence at the wedding (plus the aforementioned stuff you've already done).
Did you guys ever make it to Wanda's?
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 05:52:54 PM
also the speech, im terrified of public speaking, can my speech just be short and sweet or does it have to be a big speech speech?
Drink first.
Start off with "They say a man isn't complete until he's married.....and then he's finished....."
Quote from: Vindingo on May 31, 2009, 07:47:50 PM
Did you guys ever make it to Wanda's?
we went to karma sutra
Quote from: Holden on May 31, 2009, 06:34:44 PM
I'm currently in the process of planning a wedding... I think you got it backwards? The groom is supposed to give the best man a thank you giftâ€"your gift to the groom is your presence at the wedding (plus the aforementioned stuff you've already done).
so wait a minute, I dont give him a card with money?? that would feel weird
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 08:27:36 PM
so wait a minute, I dont give him a card with money?? that would feel weird
No, no, no -- still give him the card.
Give
me the money [thumbsup] ;D
Adam
Quote from: DrDesmosedici on May 31, 2009, 08:51:12 PM
No, no, no -- still give him the card.
Give me the money [thumbsup] ;D
Adam
how about ill send you the money my 749 and you can fck my gf?
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 08:58:20 PM
how about ill send you the money my 749 and you can fck my gf?
Well, that's not very nice.
Quote from: kopfjager on May 31, 2009, 09:02:50 PM
Well, that's not very nice.
I think it is very generous of him [laugh]
Quote from: Vindingo on May 31, 2009, 09:12:18 PM
I think it is very generous of him [laugh]
Good point. [thumbsup]
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 08:58:20 PM
how about ill send you the money my 749 and you can fck my gf?
Not really feeling the 749 -- PM me when you get the new M3 though :D
Adam
I'll take the 749.
Quote from: lwszabo on June 01, 2009, 06:00:29 AM
I'll take the 749.
Deal - I'll take the rest. ;D
Adam
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on May 31, 2009, 08:27:36 PM
so wait a minute, I dont give him a card with money?? that would feel weird
It depends on your culture/tradition. In my family the best man/maid of honor still give gifts to the groom/bride, but a nice gift is also given by the groom/bride.
As for speeches...when I was the maid of honor I talked to the best man and we gave a speech together. We kept it short and about the couple with our own color commentary about their first date.
Quote from: lwszabo on June 01, 2009, 06:00:29 AM
I'll take the 749.
whats your address social security number and date of birth?
also your mothers maiden name?
I'll ship the bike to you asap
I've never heard of giving the groom anything beyond a typical wedding gift (for both of them). But based on your other posts giving big seems to be important to you so just give what you can afford. If you feel like you're skimping then you are. [thumbsup]
Everyone will appreciate a thoughtful (and a bit funny) short speech. No one wants to hear you go on and on.
Be sure to throw in something about how you never thought he'd settle down with one girl and relate some stories involving his one night stands - the bride and her family will love it [evil] ;D
Quote from: Holden on May 31, 2009, 06:34:44 PM
I'm currently in the process of planning a wedding... I think you got it backwards? The groom is supposed to give the best man a thank you giftâ€"your gift to the groom is your presence at the wedding (plus the aforementioned stuff you've already done).
+1
Groom owes you for watching out for his best interests and keeping your mouth shut about batchelor party goings ons etc. An engraved flask or something like that is typical a nice watch works too.
Cash in the envelope is for bride and groom.
everyone will LOVE you if you keep the speech short
tips:
1. keep it to no more than 4-5 minutes TOTAL
2. thank everyone who came, esp long distance if any
3. name the parents and thank them
4. refer to the bride and groom as mr and mrs (however they are calling themselves)
5. CLOSE the speech with a toast to the couple, make sure to say that you are wishing them a happy marriage, healthy family, happy home, etc.
The Best Man speech is the most loathed portion of the evening (unless you are all in a frat together, in which case you can just fart "Volare" into the mic-- big points if you know the reference).. Otherwise, keep it short and sweet.
Best man doesn't give an especially nice present, just normal . It is customary for the groom to give the best man a gift.
^^^ I should have talked to 'tizz before I gave a best man speech - I just made fun of 'em for a couple minutes, then sappy stuff about how wonderful they both are for a minute, and... done!
in the old days, the best man was expected to stand in if the groom got cold feet/died/etc...
these days, it is sufficient to offer him a single round trip ticket to somewhere far away right before you go to stand at the alter.
if he rejects the escape offer, then you get to take the trip yourself.
if he accepts, you should have a plan b worked out for yourself.
short and sweet speech is fine. better than fine, really.
when I got married, I got all the groomsmen some nice engraved folding knives, they got together and got me a nice 12ga o/u.
That's a nice one ATO!
I'm in the same boat as the OP. Except my Best Man is my father and we'll be away on Father's Day... Didn't realize that it would fall the Sunday after our wedding way back when we planned the date ~
JM
Quote from: ato memphis on June 02, 2009, 11:39:33 AM
short and sweet speech is fine. better than fine, really.
when I got married, I got all the groomsmen some nice engraved folding knives, they got together and got me a nice 12ga o/u.
was it being held at your back by her pa?
Which O/U did you get? Inquiring minds want to know...
Quote from: dictionary boy on June 02, 2009, 02:22:28 PM
was it being held at your back by her pa?
Nah, they are a zero-gun family. it was an interesting convention of accents though:
her family is from michigan
my family is from TN/NC/GA.
hearing the mix of northern accents (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inland_Northern_American_English) with memphis-drawl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_American_English#Gulf_of_Mexico) and applachian speak (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_American_English#Midland_and_Highland) was a bit much.
Quote from: rgramjet on June 02, 2009, 02:27:22 PM
Which O/U did you get? Inquiring minds want to know...
starts with B, ends with eretta. One of the guys got a big deal on one of their entry levels. I'm not great at clays, and only had a benelli pump and a mossy500 before.
That was essentially their gift to "us", rather than feeling like they had to get me something off the registry. except for will, he contributed to the cause, and he went out on his own and got us a kitchen appliance. Apparently i wasn't a complete man without a deep frier.
if you want you can give a monetary gift, its only polite, but your friend getting married probably knows all you are doing so you don't "have to" give a gift.
that being said, give what you think is appropirate for your comfort level and income level, meaning don't give 1k fi you can't afford it. don't give 100 dollars if you are making 180,000 dollars a year that might look a little cheap.
that being said, take into account the type of peopel coming and the family, if they are well off then you giving something like 500 or so would probably not outspend family members, but if its a middle class family 500 may be more than some aunts/uncles, etc may give as a couple. something to remember.
that being said, if you want jsut split the difference and give 200-300 and call it even he will be more than greatful.
good luck.
Orrrr......up to the actual day you can threaten to show pictures from his bachelor party. Right before he commits, tell him you won't do it. It'll feel like the best. gift. ever.
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 03, 2009, 09:33:54 PM
... tell him you won't do it.
...destroyed all evidence of the matter.
Quote from: ato memphis on June 04, 2009, 08:45:37 AM
...destroyed all evidence of the matter.
now...
that's a gift. ;)
in the hotel now in nyc the weddings tomorrow
went to the diamond district to buy a rock myself today - bit of advice stay away from 47 street
Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on June 04, 2009, 11:01:20 PM
went to the diamond district to buy a rock myself today
So's this thread really just to brag about how much you like to go around whippin' out fliff like a sultan? [cheeky]
some pics
we were all munching on cookies stuffed with weed lol
(http://www.nightclubcity.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=32437&stc=1&d=1244606913)
(http://www.nightclubcity.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=32438&stc=1&d=1244606913)