One or two of you guys might remember my 2up trip from Germany to Denmark, if not, here you go: http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=3133.0 (http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=3133.0)
I go to Denmark every year, I rather enjoy the jungles, mountains and velociraptors, and naturally, Denmark provides all those things. As I mentioned in my previous story, I left the Monster at my uncle's house. All I did to "winterize" the bike for storage was to put the kickstand down. I didn't change the oil, I didn't treat the gas, I just left the half gallon or so in the tank as it was.
I left for a whole year, and now I'm back. My mom's house is about 150 miles east of my uncle's house, so I bought a train ticket, and went to the train station. Where am I going?:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2090.jpg)
Now all I had to do is wait. Putting my ass on the concrete really helped pass time:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2094.jpg)
Look how luxurious these seats are! It's so ritzy in these trains, I can't even begin to explain how posh they are inside. P Diddy himself comes around and shines your shoes for you for crying out loud!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2104.jpg)
After my boots were spotless, I thanked P Diddy for the excellent job he did. I was going to tip him, but I forgot. Nevertheless I had arrived. My Viking uncle was there in his Opel waiting for me.
This is what he brought me to:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2143.jpg)
Good lord! get that stuff off of it! bring it out to the light, let it breathe!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2145.jpg)
Ok, here was the moment of truth. I mean, I had done nothing to preserve this bike. The gasoline was no doubt the same consistency as bear semen, and i'm sure that because of it's Italian birth, all the bolts decided to come loose. Not to mention the fact that the belts on this bike are 8yrs old.They've never been changed! My guess is that they are so used to being in one position that they won't really enjoy being moved into another.
Truth be told, I expect that once I turn the key and push the starter button, that the Monster will steal my wallet and then immediately burst into flames. With great trepidation I turn the key, and thumb the starter...
Oh my god not again.... I've been clean for so long... Damn you CETME, damn you and your write-up crack
sweet! when is the next installment?
not that i really want to know, but how do you specifically know about bear semen?
just curious...did you work in the circus?
[popcorn]
Quote from: El Matador on June 03, 2009, 05:45:38 PM
Oh my god not again.... I've been clean for so long... Damn you CETME, damn you and your write-up crack
+1
Ahhh, First class on one of the ICE trains.......oh how i miss thee..... :'(
dood, doing these stories just aren't fair..... [bang]
But we love them... [bacon]
[popcorn]
And and and... [popcorn]
It has to have started otherwise why would you write?
"and thumb the starter..."
You are cruel.
Subscribed. ;D
Reminds me of ride reports on AVDrider.
Love it.
subscribing [popcorn]
[drink] [popcorn]
(http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll161/porschaholic/smileys/munchstretchcouch2-1.gif)
Haha. Any more room on that sofa? CETME's travelogs are terrific.
[thumbsup]
Why does the girl in the second picture look like she is fixing to cop a squat?
Ready to read on. [drink]
Quote from: duclvr on June 04, 2009, 11:48:16 AM
Ready to read on. [drink]
Yeah! Don't leave us hangin'!
Quote from: Bun-bun on June 04, 2009, 01:50:16 PM
I go to Denmark every year, I rather enjoy the jungles, mountains and velociraptors, and naturally, Denmark provides all those things.
[clap]
Eagerly awaiting the next instalment. [thumbsup]
BANG!
"Not funny" I said, as my uncle laughed.
"just kidding, just start your bike" he replied, holding his belly from heaving out of his body from laughter.
So I thumbed the starter and BOOM!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2148.jpg)
of course it started!
As cocky as I am with this bike, I have to admit, how on earth did it start? I didn't do ANYTHING to the gas, shouldn't it have turned into Gak (remember that stuff?) by now? Everyone predicted that I would have a huge problem on my hands starting the bike, but it fired up as if I had just ridden it an hour ago. Fantastic! Now I know that all you have to do to "winterize" a bike is to forget what day it is.
I said goodbye to my aunt and uncle and off I went to get some fresh gas in the bike. They had 100 octane gas, so I treated the Ducati to the good stuff.
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2149.jpg)
100 miles down the road, I stop to because I was hungry, and I wanted to complain about it to myself in peace. Here I am checking my pack for the 17th time in case some food just appeared since the last 16 times I checked in there:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2153.jpg)
I made it home with little issue...... I know! crazy! So I spent the next few days exploring my mom's neighborhood:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2063.jpg)
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2162.jpg)
Move it sheep!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2065.jpg)
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2199.jpg)
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2070.jpg)
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2072.jpg)
As I was walking along the beach, this guy swam up to me, got out of the ocean, walked across the beach, onto my path and tried to bite me! Some harsh American language made him think twice. That's right you modern dinosaur, you best recognize...
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/IMG_2279.jpg)
Well, remember those belts? Not changed in 8yrs? well I brought some with me.....
LOL! Can't wait to get home to see these pics!!
[popcorn]
dude if all of your write-ups are this good im gonna have to do a search for all things CETME
Your mom's neighborhood looks very nice. [thumbsup] Brings back fond memories of my visit to Hornbaek a year ago.
Quote from: causeofkaos on June 08, 2009, 07:17:24 PM
dude if all of your write-ups are this good im gonna have to do a search for all things CETME
I highly recomend it. Also check ADVrider.com cause there are a couple of classic stories there that did not make it to this board.
[popcorn]
So I went in my tool bucket to find out what I had with me:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06080.jpg)
Turns out I had ALREADY BOUGHT BELTS LAST YEAR! what a moron, who does that? Who forgets that they have already spent $200 (a completely ridiculous amount) on belts?! If there was a crowbar nearby, I would have shoved it up my nose as punishment. Alas, there was none, so I resorted to just verbally abusing myself with compliments.
Nevertheless, I start taking off any bolts I see on the bike, hoping I'll eventually remove the right ones. This is the result:
Out with the old!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Ducati%20Belts/IMG_2210.jpg)
In with the new!
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Ducati%20Belts/IMG_2201.jpg)
I had everything finished in an hour or two. Then I sat and wondered how I would gather the courage to thumb the starter... This again?! wasn't I just here?
I squinted my eyes and frowned my face as I thumbed the starter button. To my surprise and delight it simply started up! I did it right! So now that I had a working bike, what next? None of my friends could come with me this year, which begged the question: What would I do on my own?! Well, there's only one answer to that. Go on a roadtrip.
But a roadtrip to where?! So I sat for three minutes and thought:
I could go south, to France/Spain/Italy where the women are pretty and they wear next to nothing, OR i could go north to Sweden/Norway/Finland, where the women are in fact Reindeer (true story) and they wear absolutely nothing.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on June 03, 2009, 06:34:44 PM
not that i really want to know, but how do you specifically know about bear semen?
just curious...did you work in the circus?
...there is a bear joke that ends with the bear saying, "...you're not really here for the hunting are you?" ;D
I decided to go visit some friends, and that the question of where i'd go would be answered over a few beers. Little did I know, however, that it would answer itself.
Copenhagen bound:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06082.jpg)
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06083.jpg)
I think I was probably doing close to 100mph here...
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06084.jpg)
I can't tell you how awesome it is to ride bikes here. The roads are just a series of curves tied into other curves. I don't have any pictures to illustrate this, but imagine trying to swerve piles of puke in the parking lot at a Michael Bolton concert at 50mph.
I was enjoying the ride immensely until I caught up to a giant bus. I quickly grew tired of staring at it's fat ass and dropped two cogs and twisted the throttle. With the 916 exploding the serenity of the Danish countryside, I accelerated to 100mph, rocketing passed the bus. Then all of a sudden: BANG!
Quote from: ducatizzzz on June 03, 2009, 06:34:44 PM
not that i really want to know, but how do you specifically know about bear semen?
just curious...did you work in the circus?
The '90's was the decade of experimentation for a boy like myself.
Quote from: CETME on June 09, 2009, 12:17:23 PM
I was enjoying the ride immensely until I caught up to a giant bus. I quickly grew tired of staring at it's fat ass and dropped two cogs and twisted the throttle. With the 916 exploding the serenity of the Danish countryside, I accelerated to 100mph, rocketing passed the bus. Then allof a sudden BOOOOOOOOOM!
You cannot stop a post like that!
I'm tempted to report his post, that's just cruel.
;)
[popcorn]
Where is that "report to moderator" button?
more!!!
[bang]
The bike suddenly started vibrating violently and grinding. I pulled off to the side of the road and immediately cut the engine. The cam belts! did something go wrong? did I not tighten them properly?
I racked my brain for a split second to figure out what happened. I then turned the key and started the bike. It idled smoothly..... It wasn't the cam belts.
Oh no...... I should have known. I mean... what ELSE could it be????
Yup:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06090.jpg)
You guessed it:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06089.jpg)
WHO HAS THIS LUCK?!!?!? It broke at the side plate......
but it gets better:
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i158/fmhipower/Denmark%20ride/DSC06103.jpg)
broken in two places!
So I take off my helmet and a smile emerged. I should have known this would happen. I looked around and assessed my situation.
1.) Foreign country
2.) No phone
3.) No ex-girlfriend to bail me out
4.) Broken chain
Then I thought about my luck. I'm 3 for 3 on chain failures on this bike.
1.)Ohio trip, the chain blew up.
2.)The Germany trip, I had the chain too tight (Kelsey's fat ass lowered the rear end enough to make the chain as tight as a guitar string), and it knackered the chain and sprockets. Because of the lack of my own tools, I had main Ducati dealership in DK put on new chain and sprockets
3.) Denmark tour: Catastrophic chain failure
I'm sorry... I need a beer.
I remember all of the chain failures from past travels on this bike imparticular. I'm shocked you don't carry a spare chain with you with all the bad luck.
Balls, dude! That sucks!
Could be worse, tho...
(http://inlinethumb47.webshots.com/42350/2791514910103537997S500x500Q85.jpg)
Wow, good work!
Suck! At least it's a very repairable item. Not like if you'd tossed a belt.
foreign country? big deal, chain sizes are universal! that's the best problem a boy could have! might cost you $$$ but at least you can go into almost any bike brand dealer, assuming you're not in the outback or in the middle of the african jungle...
Well, I was waiting for the local "Motorcycle Chain Truck" to drive by so I could flag him down for help, but I never saw it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a foreign country, on a country road, no houses, no sidewalks, just fields. A broken bike and no phone. It's not traumatic, but you'll rack your brain thinking of what you're going to do.
I guess the drama stems from the fact that i've written 6 ride reports, all with some sort of chain issue. 3 of them ended prematurely because of chains, Another was very close to ending a trip.
Quote from: CETME on June 09, 2009, 03:36:48 PM
Well, I was waiting for the local "Motorcycle Chain Truck" to drive by so I could flag him down for help, but I never saw it. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a foreign country, on a country road, no houses, no sidewalks, just fields. A broken bike and no phone. It's not traumatic, but you'll rack your brain thinking of what you're going to do.
I guess the drama stems from the fact that i've written 6 ride reports, all with some sort of chain issue. 3 of them ended prematurely because of chains, Another was very close to ending a trip.
rofl.. too bad the ducati road service was expired?
maybe you should review your chain maintenance procedures? ;D
Quote from: CETME on June 09, 2009, 03:36:48 PM
Well, I was waiting for the local "Motorcycle Chain Truck" to drive by so I could flag him down for help, but I never saw it.
And now you owe me for a computer keyboard, because Dogfish Brown ale just spewed out my nostrils. ;D
Subscribing to this one!
Hard to imagine so many chains breaking as just a coincidence...
How confident are you that the chain was properly tightened? Sprockets properly aligned? Properly cleaned and lubed? Installed correctly in the first place with regards to fitting the master link?
You timed it better last time with the chain break. I try to make sure a girl is with me if I'm going to be stuck somewhere.
Quote from: CETME on June 09, 2009, 03:36:48 PMClose your eyes and imagine yourself in a foreign country, on a country road, no houses, no sidewalks, just fields. A broken bike and no phone. It's not traumatic, but you'll rack your brain thinking of what you're going to do.
I know what you mean. After I picked up my rental bike in Munich, I then tried to ride to my hotel, only to get a little confused by bad signage and got slightly lost. I ended up pulling into a narrow parking lot with not enough room to make a U-turn, I was too short to back up the bike on it, and for a while I wasn't able to find the sidestand to put it down. I was trapped on my bike and I couldn't speak the language enough to ask for help. :-\
Eventually I found the sidestand (it swung out to the side, not down) and was able to get off and roll my bike around. [roll]
Quote from: Alex on June 10, 2009, 01:37:34 PM
Hard to imagine so many chains breaking as just a coincidence...
How confident are you that the chain was properly tightened? Sprockets properly aligned? Properly cleaned and lubed? Installed correctly in the first place with regards to fitting the master link?
A Ducati dealership installed the chain and sprockets. Less than 500km ago. I'm currently in the Atlanta airport, and I'll explain it all.
BTW, my flight is delayed.
Quote from: CETME on June 10, 2009, 03:37:38 PM
BTW, my flight is delayed.
I didn't know planes had chains [laugh]
[popcorn]
Like I needed more stuff to follow. :)
Quote from: CETME on June 10, 2009, 03:37:38 PM
I'm currently in the Atlanta airport, and I'll explain it all.
BTW, my flight is delayed.
Delayed in Atlanta??? How bizarre
Quote from: CETME on June 10, 2009, 03:37:38 PM
A Ducati dealership installed the chain and sprockets. Less than 500km ago. I'm currently in the Atlanta airport, and I'll explain it all.
BTW, my flight is delayed.
might be time to visit those folks with a pipe wrench
although -- how long did the bike sit between putting the chain on and you picking it up from Dane land?
If you stop over in Frederiksberg, there is plenty of beer in the fridge here [drink]
The weather right now sucks ass too...stay warm