Ducati Monster Forum

Those of you who know me, know I have a pretty low tolerance for people who get on the freeway without securing their loads. Like gardeners whose lawnmower is bouncing on top of a pile of clippings, guys in pickups with trash cans rolling around in back, and a special mention for dipsticks who tie mattresses to the tops of their cars.

So I'm riding home from the gym tonight and there, and about a quarter mile ahead of me, is a prime example of the aforementioned dipstick.

It's a green minivan with a mattress tied to the roof. The mattress is at a full 45 degrees off the roof and straining at the pathetically inadequate twine used to tie it down. So I get a couple of lanes over, gas the Streetfighter (I love that part) and then pull alongside him, and politely beep my horn. So the guy turns his head and gives me a blank stare I recognize from the deer that inhabit my garden. I motion to his roof, alerting him to the impending accident he's about to cause.

Well, this cretin just smiles and gives me a thumbs up! So I point again, and give him a big thumbs down. And then he does it again - another freakin' thumbs up!  Clearly too many bong hits have muddled his thinking, so I gun it again (see, I really do like that part) and crest the hill coming down toward Tam Valley.

There, at the side of the road are a couple of CHPs, having a confab on the side of the road, so I pull up and say, "There's a moron back there who's about to lose a mattress off the top of his car. They can't hear me over my clutch, so I repeat myself, to which one of the cops says, "That moron?" as the green minivan sails past, mattress at full salute. At which point the CHP jumps in his car and Hauls Ass, lights going, and stops the dude by the next exit.

Justice served. It felt so good.

Preventing mattresses from arriving is exactly why you never got hired at kink.com.

Nice going Michael. [thumbsup]

I betcha the minivan forum is lit up right now with an epic rant about Ducati riding assholes.   [laugh]

Werd, MM.   [thumbsup]

You lost me at at bong hits.  I assume it was a good story. 

Thanks, jackass.  BTW: minivan is "teal" not "green".

Thankfully, the CHP let me off with a warning only.

Job well done! [clap] [thumbsup]

People like that shouldn't be allowed to have mattresses...wait, they'd just procreate on the floor. Nevermind.

Nice MM

[laugh]  [thumbsup] 


You think as a UI designer he'd get that difference.

 [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down] [bow_down] MM

Very nice.. Hope you gave him the thumbs up as you drove past..  [thumbsup]

Oh and you forgot to mention the ubiquitous flying ladders we constantly see on the road.. Those buggers are nasty.

Those are less of a concern to MM, with his wheelie-then-stoppie-at-80mph Streetfighter [evil]

  You beat me to it.

Wait! You go to the gym?  ;D

Smartass.

Yeah, I know. I'd be even fatter if I didn't...

I had a similar story--not quite as exciting... I was riding downtown and this fool in a delivery van whips across both lanes of one way traffic only to double park his ass right in front of a big line of cars.  He could have waited, but noooooo.....he needed to go *right* then.  Everybody had to slam on their brakes and try to change lanes to get around this clown.  There was ample honking and cursing... As luck would have it a SFPD car had just joined us and saw the whole thing.  He lit the guy up and a couple of folks took a moment to applaud and cheer the officer.  Mr. LEO waved and smiled. [laugh]  It's nice havin' 'em in the right place at the right time.   [thumbsup]

This is my favorite part.  [laugh]

Nicely done, MM  [thumbsup]

Watch out for the mattress police  [clap] [clap] [clap]  Good job!

Yesterday I was driving next to the dumbarton bridge (on, the road that goes to the old dumbarton bridge) and I look over and there is a teal mini van driving with a mattress tied to the top, blowing up to a 45 degree angle.

"That moron?"
 [laugh] That's hilarious!

Had I been drinking milk, beer or anything else it would have been coming out of my nose while I was reading that.  [laugh]  [thumbsup]





A few months ago I saw some moron rush out of a bank drive way in heavy traffic right in front of a big white Ford 3500. The pickup had to slam on its brakes to avoid hitting them. Think was, the lady looked right at the truck and figured she would just shoehorn her way in there anyway. You could just see the wheels turning in her head before she made her move. I was already thinking, what a dumbass before she went, because unknown to her at that moment, the Pickup was The State Park Police. Justice was served almost  immediately   as the rangers lit her up and pulled her over.

Ah yes, cutting off a  [leo]  - not the wisest course of action.

To MM,

 [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]
It's not often you find a LEO when you need one.  Usually I find them when I don't need 'em.

Ya, me too. But that day the stars were aligned.