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Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 06:22:06 AM



Title: Slow week on NMC
Post by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 06:22:06 AM
... so I thought I would share a little internet escapade I had a while back.  It concerns my AIM screen name, some bored kids, and an annoyed me.

Let me start by sharing some personal information - I have a weird surname.  It is Ukranian, and it spells "OK Milk" backwards (I will let you decode that yourself).  Well, I use this as my AIM screen name.  Clever, right?  More personal information:  I like rainbows and ice cream.  End of personal information.

Some time ago a group of kids started doing drive-bys on AIM, leaving messages something along the lines of "OMG WHO IS THIS LOL".  I ignored them until I was pretty sure they were not bots, then I sent some courtesy responses.  "Hey there, who is this?" I would ask, unwilling to hand over personal information to anyone who could not demonstrate responsible operation of the caps lock.

I was getting several of these messages a day, from what appeared to be a growing team of dedicated idiots, but the conversation never really got much farther than that.   This went on for weeks, and things seemed to escalate over time.  They went from WHO IS THISing me to UR A FAG, WHO IS THIS, to even more charming, GIVE ME YOUR PASSWORD U FAG.

The password thing was annoying, so I did some internet forensics on the apparent ringleader of this operation.  Fifteen seconds later I discovered that he shared the same last name as me.  Ah ha.  So, at my next opportunity I messaged one of them:  Look, I am not one of your friends who unlocked the secret of the backward last name and "stole" this screen name, so please stop it.  This only seemed to encourage them.

At this point, I decided this exercise could stand to be a lot more fun for me.  Since insisting that I was not someone they knew was getting me nowhere, I figured putting thousands of fictional miles and an ocean between us might help.  It would also, as Sasha Baron Cohen demonstrated with Borat, permit me to say pretty much anything, with impunity.  Enter my alter ego Oksana Milklosovic (I had to work in OK and Milk) 

Oksana, you will learn, is a student at the University of Kiev.  She likes Greco-Roman wrestling and indoor toilets.  I am going to start by sharing some of the better conversations we had - Get ready to enjoy some top-notch grammar and a symposium on world geography.


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 06:25:26 AM
[14:36] SpEaRsY___: hey...who is this?
[14:36] SpEaRsY___: ?????????
[14:36] SpEaRsY___: ?????????????????????????????????????
[14:37] SpEaRsY___: HELLO!!!!
[14:40] SpEaRsY___: W/E!
[14:54] okmilk: Hello
[16:27] Meebo Message: SpEaRsY___ is online
[16:28] SpEaRsY___: who r u
[16:28] SpEaRsY___: im sry this is the rong person
[16:29] SpEaRsY___: lol buh bye now
[16:37] okmilk: Hello my name Oksana Milklosovic
[16:37] SpEaRsY___: yea right
[16:39] SpEaRsY___: what is it for real
[16:39] okmilk: Hello my name Oksana
[16:39] SpEaRsY___: no its not bye
[16:39] okmilk: I live Ukraine
[16:40] SpEaRsY___: no u dont theres no such place
[16:40] okmilk: You must sorry to me my english not as good!
[16:40 ] SpEaRsY___: ya i no
[16:41 ] okmilk: Your name Yaino
[16:41 ] okmilk: You are from china?
[16:41 ] SpEaRsY___: no im not
[16:42 ] okmilk: Where you are from?
[16:42 ] SpEaRsY___: im not tellin
[16:42 ] okmilk: You from Talinn?
[16:42] SpEaRsY___: shut up
[16:43 ] okmilk: You are Estonian! Your place is close Ukraine !
[16:43] SpEaRsY___: shut up
[16:45 ] SpEaRsY___: kk
[16:45 ] SpEaRsY___: buh bye


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 06:26:16 AM
[16:57] BpStar___: who is this
[16:57 ] BpStar___: ??
[16:57 ] okmilk: Hello, my name Oksana!
[16:57 ] Meebo Message: BpStar___ is online
[16:58] BpStar___: were r u from
[16:58 ] okmilk: Many chatting with people today
[16:58 ] BpStar___: ?
[16:58] okmilk: I am not knowing wat say
[16:58] BpStar___: who is this
[16:58] BpStar___: where r from
[16:58] okmilk: My name Oksana
[16:59] BpStar___: WHERE R U FROM
[16:59] okmilk: I no not r and u
[16:59] okmilk: My english not as good! You must sorry to me!
[17:00 ] BpStar___: WHO THE EFF R U
[17:01 ] okmilk: I no not the effru !
[17:02 ] BpStar___: OMG U DONT HAVE TO SPELL RIGHT ON AIM DURRR UR AN @$$
[17:02 ] BpStar___: later
[17:02 ] okmilk: You write fast for me!
[17:03 ] okmilk: My english not as good!
[17:03] BpStar___: well.. what state are you
[17:04 ] okmilk: I not am state, I am Ukraine
[17:04 ] BpStar___: oh... so u live on WHOA UR FROM UK
[17:05 ] okmilk: I live former communist place, Ukriane
[17:05 ] BpStar___: o
[17:06 ] okmilk: My country once sad as communist
[17:07 ] okmilk: Now Ukriane make road and toilet inside house

[17:10 ] okmilk: Hello! I go now wrestle!


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 06:30:14 AM
[14:34] ______ty: who the hell is this
[14:34 ] ______ty: this is _____ ______
[14:34 ] okmilk: Hi ______
[14:34 ] Meebo Message: ______ty is online
[14:34] ______ty: i would like to know
[14:34 ] ______ty: who this is
[14:34 ] ______ty: ????????
[14:35 ] ______ty: who is this
[14:35 ] ______ty: who is this
[14:35 ] ______ty: ???????????????
[14:36] ______ty: hello
[14:37 ] ______ty: who the hell is this
[14:38 ] ______ty: ??????????
[14:39 ] ______ty: to chinken to tell me u lil puss
[14:40 ] ______ty: who is this???//this is tk now
[14:41 ] ______ty: /??????????????????????????????????
[14:44 ] okmilk: Hello Terri. My name Oksana Milklosovic!
[14:45] ______ty: who is this
[14:45 ] okmilk: I not know what is lil puss.
[14:45] ______ty: nothign
[14:45] ______ty: who is this
[14:45] okmilk: But my English not is good you see
[14:46] ______ty: ur gay
[14:46] ______ty: whats ur password
[14:46] ______ty: to get on your s/n
[14:46] okmilk: I not from Uruguay
[14:46] okmilk: I from Ukraine
[14:46] ______ty: was your password
[14:46] ______ty: to get on your s/n
[14:47] okmilk: You must make words big so better I can see, please
[14:47] ______ty: what is your password to get on your screen name
[14:48] okmilk: I sorry, they not big, please
[14:48] ______ty: syfu
[14:48] ______ty: stfu
[14:48] okmilk: You are from Uruguay?
[14:48] ______ty: no ohio
[14:48] ______ty: u dip
[14:48] ______ty: weed
[14:49] ______ty: now whats ur password to get on your s/n
[14:49] okmilk: In Ukraine, we have no Ohio
[14:50] ______ty: whats ur password to get on your screen name
[14:50] okmilk: My screen name Ok Milk for Oksana Milklosovic
[14:51] ______ty: ok
[14:51] ______ty: whats your password to get on your screen name dont change the subject
[14:52] ______ty: ??????????????
[14:52 ] ______ty: u ther
[14:52 ] okmilk: You like wrestle?
[14:52] ______ty: answer the question
[14:53] ______ty: this is tony sacco
[14:53] okmilk: In Unkraine, I am numrbe three wrestle girl for country
[14:53] ______ty: u pregnant dog
[14:53] ______ty: i know its you
[14:54] ______ty: b/c u wrestle and play soccer
[14:54] ______ty: u lil pregnant dog
[14:54] okmilk: I make Greco Roman kind wrestle
[14:55] ______ty: and u are like the only one that knows my last name backwards


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on October 02, 2009, 07:00:42 AM
You have a pet moron. We must torture him.


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: IZ on October 02, 2009, 07:08:36 AM
 [laugh]




Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: NAKID on October 02, 2009, 07:32:54 AM
That's some funny shit right there...


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: il d00d on October 02, 2009, 07:41:51 AM
So, this is the final exchange I had with these people.  In retrospect, I regret taking it out on this particular kid, he seemed alright.  On the other hand, the messages came to an abrupt halt after this.  So, yes, I will admit a little mean.  But effective  [evil]


13:41] _______5566: hey Who is this.
[13:41] okmilk: Hello.  My name Oksana.
[13:41] _______5566: Ok.
[13:42] _______5566: Were you from.
[13:42] okmilk: I am from Ukraine.
[13:42] okmilk: Many people make question to me this.
[13:42] _______5566: oh
[13:42] _______5566: that suckz
[13:43] okmilk: I am not sure what is suckz.
[13:43] _______5566: what do you like todop
[13:43] okmilk: Where are you from?
[13:43] _______5566: todo***
[13:43] _______5566: i am from the USA
[13:43] okmilk: I see
[13:43] _______5566: but what do you like to do
[13:44] _______5566: and are you a guy or a girl
[13:45] _______5566: you there
[13:46] _______5566: DUDE you there
[13:46] okmilk: I am girl.
[13:47] okmilk: You are knowing chat person _____ty?
[13:47] _______5566: yeah
[13:47] _______5566: thats a good friend of mine
[13:48] _______5566: WHy
[13:48] okmilk: Your frind ask many question
[13:48] _______5566: oh
[13:48] okmilk: Also call me "make the beast with two backsing fag"
[13:49] okmilk: This is bad thing no?
[13:49] okmilk: What is the mean "make the beast with two backsing fag"?
[13:49] _______5566: he was just jokeing
[13:49] okmilk: I see.
[13:49] _______5566: do you have any pictures
[13:50] okmilk: I have no pictures.  This university computer station.
[13:50] _______5566: what
[13:51] _______5566: university computer station. whats that
[13:51] okmilk: I work on computer in university
[13:51] _______5566: oh at school
[13:51] okmilk: THe computer owned at university.
[13:51] _______5566: how old are you then
[13:52] okmilk: You too ask many question
[13:52] _______5566: Sorry
[13:52] okmilk: In Ukraine this very many question
[13:52] _______5566: but do you have a home page, like myspace
[13:52] okmilk: I have no myspace
[13:53] okmilk: IN Ukraine during Soviet rule, we only ask people maximum three question.
[13:53] okmilk: If four question, they may be Soviet police.
[13:54] _______5566: Wow
[13:54] _______5566: Do you like it there
[13:54] okmilk: Ukraine nice place now
[13:55] _______5566: cool
[13:55] _______5566: were is that
[13:55] _______5566: like Britan
[13:56] _______5566: Britain
[13:56] okmilk: No.  Ukraine not Britain.
[13:56] _______5566: OH
[13:56] okmilk: Ukraine country.  Once was part USSR.
[13:56] _______5566: oh
[13:57] _______5566: i just looked on google and it said stuf a bout jews
[13:57] okmilk: Yes, the Jew is in Ukraine
[13:58] _______5566: oh
[13:58] _______5566:  are you a jew
 (personal note:  WTF?)
[13:59] _______5566: your land sounds cool
[14:00] _______5566: looks like a good place to go on vacation place
[14:01] okmilk: Excuse me, who is this?
[14:02] _______5566: oh i am sorry i am _____
[14:02] _______5566: _____  _____
[14:03] okmilk: This is Peter, I work a the computer lab here at the University of Kiev.
[14:03] okmilk: Do you know Oksana?
[14:03] _______5566: um yeah
[14:03] _______5566: a littler
[14:03] _______5566: little
[14:04] okmilk: She came to me after getting some random IMs from people calling her a "make the beast with two backsing fag'?
[14:04] okmilk: WEre you one of these people?
[14:04] _______5566: no
[14:04] okmilk: Do you know these people?
[14:04] okmilk: This is a public computer, and as such is logged by our IDS system.
[14:05] okmilk: You are going to want to tell me the truth.
[14:05] _______5566: yeah i kno who
[14:05] _______5566: but they were playinga round
[14:05] okmilk: I had my assistant pull up some of her logs.  I am going to need you and your friends to stop harassing her.
[14:06] _______5566: ok
[14:06] _______5566: i justed wanted to kno her
[14:06] _______5566: you kno
[14:06] _______5566: like to see waht is like in a diffrent place
[14:06] okmilk: By the way, the Ukraine is a country in Europe.  Not to be confused with The United Kingdom, which is thousands of miles away.
[14:06] okmilk: They speak Ukraian here.
[14:07] _______5566: i kno i justed looked that up
[14:07] _______5566: but i am sorry didnt mean any trouble
[14:08] okmilk: And looking at one of your friend's names, he is actually Ukranian.  That he did not know that this was an actual country is a very sad statement about the educational system in the US.
[14:08] _______5566: no
[14:08] okmilk: Also, calling people you don't know a make the beast with two backsing fag is funny to 12-year-olds with learning disabilities and that is about it.
[14:09] okmilk: ______?  Is that his name?
[14:09] _______5566: no
[14:09] okmilk: Klimko is a Ukrainian name.
[14:09] _______5566: no he is from usa
[14:09] okmilk: Do you grasp the concept that people came to the US with foreign names?
[14:10] _______5566: i kno but he never came from there
[14:10] _______5566: or his family
[14:10] okmilk: It is either Russian or Ukranian.
[14:10] _______5566: nope
[14:11] okmilk: You are tellilng a Ukranian person who speaks Ukranian and Russian that Klimko is not a Russian name?
[14:12] _______5566: yeah  his family is indian and irish
[14:12] _______5566: mostly indiam
[14:12] okmilk: Don't just take my word for it.
[14:12] okmilk: http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.fc/qx/klimko-family-crest.htm (http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.fc/qx/klimko-family-crest.htm)
[14:13] okmilk: Anyways, please tell your retarded friend to stop harassing Oksana.
[14:13] _______5566: ok
[14:15] okmilk: I see that you have not yet called her a fag, so as far as I am concerned, I have no need to turn in your IP address to your ISP.  My advice to you would be to take a geography class, and to be nicer to people you don't know on the internet.
[14:15] _______5566: ok


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: Slide Panda on October 02, 2009, 07:44:55 AM
Pet morons... hmmm how to torture them.... *yuu contemplates deeply*


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: NAKID on October 02, 2009, 07:46:44 AM
[clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap] [clap]


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: DCXCV on October 02, 2009, 07:53:03 AM
uh, so... do you have any pics of Oksana?  ;D


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: IZ on October 02, 2009, 08:01:16 AM
Do you grasp the concept that people came to the US with foreign names?



please tell "your retarded friend" to stop harassing Oksana

Eurotrip ?!   [laugh]

That's great Il! 


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: bluemoco on October 02, 2009, 08:11:09 AM
OK, that is good stuff.   [laugh]  [laugh]   [clap]  [clap]


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: zarn02 on October 02, 2009, 08:33:45 AM
Very nice. [thumbsup]


Title: Re: Slow week on NMC
Post by: swampduc on October 02, 2009, 08:58:12 AM
You're doing good work there  [laugh] [laugh] [clap] [clap]


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