Ducati Monster Forum

I'm on the fence for this one. I was riding my Yamaha home from work yesterday, westbound on Howard, when I split lanes and pulled up to a stoplight at 6th St. I was at the front, about to go when the light turned green, then BAM! All of a sudden I was on the ground, bike on its left side revving out of control.

I knew right away that something had hit me from behind, but I didn't see a car bumper attached to me or my bike so I thought maybe a motorcycle was splitting lanes behind me and didn't stop. But there was no motorcycle...just a scruffy bicycle messenger (yes, a bicycle messenger...like Puck from the Real World, except he was an actual bike messenger) on the ground next to me. I thought WTF???.

The messenger started getting up, asking if I was OK. On adrenaline, I picked the bike up and started to wheel it to the curb so we could be out of traffic. Sadly, all the potential witnesses in cars drove off. So I manage to get the bike over to the curb, onto the center stand, get my helmet off, and sat down on a fire hydrant. The messenger didn't seem injured, but I could tell the guy was high...bloodshot eyes, slow reaction time, etc. He had been blowing between cars at high speed and just plowed into me. So I started looking the bike over, looking myself over, and managed to find some minor damage...bent rearset, scratched fairing, scratched top box, scratched helmet, torn suit.

When I told the guy that we needed to exchange information he just said "make the beast with two backs You, your bike's fine" and started riding off. At that point I faced a moral dilemma.

If the old Joe (both pre- and post-mullet) had been in this situation, I would've mounted the bike, chased the guy down, tackled him (or stuck a foot in his spokes), and, um, rendered the idiot unconscious until the  [leo] arrived. He likely would've ended up in the hospital. And you can say all you want about how tough bike messengers are and how they carry bicycle locks, but I guarantee that I'm a lot tougher and meaner than this idiot...plus he was high.

But I figured that the minute I take this guy down the cops will be there to arrest me for a felony, so the modern-day less troglodytic Joe took over and I called 911 as the guy rode off. The 911 operator made me stay there and wait for the cops...who took 25 minutes to get there. This was the middle of the tenderloin...you'd think the cops would be there faster, since they're always in the area rousting homeless people. But no dice...the guy got away, and the cops wouldn't even go looking for him. In fact, one of the cops (a guy who had worked with my dad before he retired from the force) told me half-jokingly that I should just frequent the bike messenger spots, cover my license plate, and take it out of the guy's hide when I find him.

So my question for 'Belle is this: when I find the guy and beat him into a coma, does that count as two ticker wrecks or just one?

I think we need a "Random Shit" ticker for things like this, or a big bird landing on your bike and tipping it over.  :(

You were stopped and got taken out by a bicycle?!?!  Someone hates you.  What, did you wear your "God can suck my balls" T-shirt that day?

Lack of physical repercussions for actions taken against others has greatly declined, in my opinion, the remorsefulness of our fellow Americans.

I believe your foresight will pay off for you in the long run, although, immediate gratification was selflessly sacrificed. Fortunately for you, in large cities sometimes beatings that aren't severe enough to warrant hospitalization are swept under the rug to allow those patrolling the streets time to deal with more serious violators. I wish you luck in your hunt and I'm sure a sock of quarters presented to him in an appropriate fashion would immediately change his perspective on fleeing from a scene of an accident.

Ironically, this was the one day I wasn't wearing that kind of t-shirt. I think it was the dumb (as you call it) trying to extract its revenge on relatively intelligent people.

[cheeky] [cheeky] [cheeky]
Oh, I'll find the guy. Then I'm gonna call up some hard-ass pipe-hittin' n#$$@s to go to work on the holmes with a blow torch and a pair of pliers.
(http://www.sliceofscifi.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rhames_willis2.jpg)

I'm not sure why there was a moral dilemma. Run the make the beast with two backser down from behind. Park on him, and lower your hot exhaust onto his forehead.

When he wants to exchange information, just tell him "make the beast with two backs you, your bikes fine" and ride off.


I see no reason you should not be an instrument of karma.

...other than a potential felony assault charge.

Meh-you had 25 mins to do damages and escape.

No. If I had done anything the cops would've been there faster. That's how SFPD operates.

If they deserve it and you really, really mean it, it's not illegal.  Trust me . . . I know law n' stuff. 

So you got butt-humped from a tweaked out cyclist splitting lanes?  The p.c. thing to say is, "That sucks!"  and I truly mean that with 99.9% of my being.  The other 0.01% is laughing hard--not at you, just at the situation.  Fortunately you didn't get hurt!   [thumbsup]

I'm going to toss it up there as a reminder to watch out for random crap I guess.  The crash ticker just notes crashes and doesn't judge who's at fault.  It's just a reminder to ride mindfully and hopefully get people to talk about crashing so we can avoid doing it.  I sure as hell know that I'm going to watch out a lot more for cyclists now!  I always knew that they take a little extra gumption to run over, but never thought that they might pose a threat from behind. 

Yeah, but you already know how cops have the uncanny ability to make their own law. And we're not in the south...he needed killin' isn't a valid legal defense here.

It still sounds better than running into a flying Vulture. Who you gonna kill then? besides if you just forget about it you will probably run into the guy unexpectantly. Maybe he has a delivery to your work.

You're spending a lot of time rationalizing why you shouldn't have put the hurt on this guy, when you could be out happily hosing blood and hair of of your bike instead. 

Glad you're okay.

Let me know what the make the beast with two backser looks like. I live 6 blocks and work 4 blocks away from your incident. Happy to stick random objects in his spokes as he's flying down Howard next time, helping deliver these messages around the neighborhood.

Sorry, that sucks!

What's done is done, and your OK.  [thumbsup]

If I was in that situation, and physically/mentally capable at the time....I'd be giving chase.  >:(

Ok sure, not do anything to get my self into trouble, but I'll at least try...at least I hope I would in that situation.

Fleeing the scene of a crime?, he's high as a f'n kite?, the dudes an A'Hole?, and now he's getting away scott free...F' that!!!

I'm not rationalizing at all...that's just how the cops in SF work. I know from experience.


Thanks man. I'm gonna be combing the usual messenger spots for a while. I will find this make the beast with two backser.

and do what?

Call up some hard-ass pipe-hittin' &*%%@$, and go to work on the holmes with a blow torch and a pair of pliers.

No really.


You avoided what could be argued as an understandable beatdwon in the street, in favor a premeditated ass whooping for someone later? How is this better?

maybe this dumb make the beast with two backser will show up @ the dmf monthly meeting @ the z (the z is also a bike messenger hangout, right?), and we can all kick the living crap out of him, then leave his bloody body in one of the porta-potties  [thumbsup]

of course, IF this happens ... i had NOTHING to do with it at all  8)

You just don't get it...the SFPD always gets their man...as long as he's innocent. In this town, it's better to serve that dish up cold, vigilante style.

And if this premeditated beatdown happens in a dark alley, late at night, while I'm in the process of making a citizens arrest? Even better ;D

Good thing you posted up about it.

Not like he's gonna report it after committing a felony.

He said, she said.

It sucks.

You really need to relax and let it go, man.

It's not worth carrying that shit around with you, because it'll corrupt your soul and ruin your Karma.

Seriously.






*And by "let it go" I mean stalk him obsessively and extract some beat-down vengeance on him/his bicycle.

Doesn't Spidey normally volunteer poo'ing on the seat of the assailant about this time?  If you can't find satisfaction in leaving a hot one on the seat of his Bianchi, then there's no hope for you ever making peace with this. 

I plan to let it go...by beating this guy into a coma [evil]

oh! I would have been so pissed. That's YouTube worthy material.
He's a bike messenger. That means he makes $3.50 a day. He was fekked long before he ran into you.

I'd just as well go around and thump every fool who puts a fix gear on their bike, takes the brakes off, shortens the handle bars down to 4" and then rides around in traffic. Why not wear a blindfold too I wonder. f'ing idiots deserve a thumping.
Let me know when you want to start.

You know people who drive SUV's say the same about us. 'F'ing idiots...' etc. etc.

You took one for the team man. Good thing it was just insult, and not injury. What a fktard.