Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: KnightofNi on March 25, 2010, 09:41:05 AM

Title: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 25, 2010, 09:41:05 AM
So here's the deal.

we all write a story. it starts off with one sentence. everyone else adds a sentence. after a certain amt of time the ending will be given the go ahead.

quote the person who's sentence you are continuing off of. Try to keep it around 15-20 words (excessivly long or short sentences will be ignored)
be creative but keep it in the confines of the board rules.
a word on CONTINUITY - please read at least 80% of what has been written before you start your line.
Please keep it on topic. (strange coming from me, but I really want to see where this goes and allow it to be read without having to skip posts)


here's the opening line:

As he crawled out from the drainpipe John looked back and wondered what led him to this point in life.

Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Grampa on March 25, 2010, 09:44:26 AM
"shit...shit....shit", he mumbled to himself, remembering he forgot to get a tetanus shot prior to accepting the mission.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 25, 2010, 09:53:12 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on March 25, 2010, 09:44:26 AM
"shit...shit....shit", he mumbled to himself, remembering he forgot to get a tetanus shot prior to accepting the mission.

He noted how good the cool driving rain felt, cleansing actually as he struggled to light a cigarette to burn the leeches off his arms
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: metallimonster on March 25, 2010, 09:55:34 AM
The distant sound of movement coming out the pipe reminded him that he had bigger problems than tetanus and leaches.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 25, 2010, 10:04:06 AM
Something had awakened in the depths, an evil that had gone undisturbed for centuries in the earth beneath New York City.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: He Man on March 25, 2010, 10:48:51 AM
A foul stench rushed out of the drain pipe and filled his lungs.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 25, 2010, 10:57:07 AM
Quote from: He Man on March 25, 2010, 10:48:51 AM
A foul stench rushed out of the drain pipe and filled his lungs.
As he lurched away from the pipe, the taste of bile filling his mouth, he realized why he had been so careful in choosing hie route.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Drunken Monkey on March 25, 2010, 11:01:18 AM
"Why does the Agency always send freelancers like me to clean up their latest screw-up with the Elder Gods?" he thought as he turned and pulled out his trusty .45 and sighted it down the long straight tunnel.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: ZLTFUL on March 25, 2010, 11:10:23 AM
Suddenly in the darkness behind him he heard a sound that brought the reality of the entire situation crashing down upon him...a child's laugh.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 25, 2010, 11:44:03 AM
And it was then he realized he was wearing assless chaps....with no pants or underwear.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: il d00d on March 25, 2010, 12:09:57 PM
"... news at the top of the hour.  The high today in the mid-fifties with a chance of..."  Was all the clock radio had the chance to broadcast before a hand tingly from nocturnal contortion flopped onto the snooze button.  He had the assless chaps zombie sewer worm dream again.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: corey on March 25, 2010, 12:17:37 PM
Through his blurred double-vision he finally noticed the rolled carpet with two dainty, bloody feet protruding from one end...and realized that the dream was the least of his worries...
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: SacDuc on March 25, 2010, 12:32:10 PM

He stumbled his way to the bathroom and when the unshaven man in the mirror looked up he said, "I think I'll be mean today."
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 25, 2010, 12:33:23 PM
Memories of the previous evening began to form, including yelling to his butler, "Fetch another rug, Livingston!" and writing a note on a post-it to pick up more bleach, which he saw on the mirror before him.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Grampa on March 25, 2010, 12:38:52 PM
"Bleach" he laughed out loud.... "I hated that album." 
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 25, 2010, 03:01:30 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on March 25, 2010, 12:38:52 PM
"Bleach" he laughed out loud.... "I hated that album." 

Pleased with his wry sense of humor, John picked up his pearl-handled straight razor from the sink, and after tasting the familiar metallic tang of blood and steel, wiped it clean on his faded Kurt Cobain t-shirt. 
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 25, 2010, 03:16:08 PM
Quote from: Mike_D on March 25, 2010, 03:01:30 PM
Pleased with his wry sense of humor, John picked up his pearl-handled straight razor from the sink, and after tasting the familiar metallic tang of blood and steel, wiped it clean on his faded Kurt Cobain t-shirt. 

His smug smirk twisted into a grimace when the stabbing pain in his sphincter reminded him of what Officer Ruth Blaylock had done to him with her billy club during their romp in bed, her lifeless body rolled in the carpet bore mute testimony to his displeasure
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 25, 2010, 04:21:45 PM
Thinking back, John recalled that Officer Blaylock once playfully said, “I want you to make the beast with two backs me like you hate me”.

“Can do”, John replied with a smirk.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: herm on March 25, 2010, 04:41:53 PM
Quote from: Speedbag on March 25, 2010, 04:21:45 PM
Thinking back, John recalled that Officer Blaylock once playfully said, “I want you to make the beast with two backs me like you hate me”.

“Can do”, John replied with a smirk.

and he did. with emphasis on the hate. all those years spent serving as Jobes man friday poured out. when he was spent, she was a shadow of her former self
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 25, 2010, 05:32:49 PM
Quote from: herm (not herb) on March 25, 2010, 04:41:53 PM
and he did. with emphasis on the hate. all those years spent serving as Jobes man friday poured out. when he was spent, she was a shadow of her former self

But still alive.  That had been two years ago.  Before the blackouts.  Before the dreams.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 25, 2010, 06:24:36 PM
Before the . . . dammit, the neighbors kids were in his backyard again.  "Hey, get off the damn shed!  Livingston!  Fetch my pellet gun!"
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Pip on March 25, 2010, 07:12:37 PM
When he turned around to scold Livingston for his lack of urgency, he was stunned to see his butler face down in a claret river of his own blood pouring from the 12 gauge wound in his skull.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 25, 2010, 09:14:15 PM
Quote from: Ghostly Pip on March 25, 2010, 07:12:37 PM
When he turned around to scold Livingston for his lack of urgency, he was stunned to see his butler face down in a claret river of his own blood pouring from the 12 gauge wound in his skull.

Stunned by the sight of the carnage around him, his mind searched desperately to recall events but the last thing he could clearly remember was washing back three doses of Lunesta with a tumbler of Bombay Gin, glancing at his watch that was now 18 hours ago.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 01:41:38 AM
Quote from: RAT900 on March 25, 2010, 09:14:15 PM
Stunned by the sight of the carnage around him, his mind searched desperately to recall events but the last thing he could clearly remember was washing back three doses of Lunesta with a tumbler of Bombay Gin, glancing at his watch that was now 18 hours ago.

"Don't be such a pussy," Jack chided.  "It's not like you haven't seen blood before.  I never liked him anyway with his smug arrogance and cold eyes. And damn if those kids aren't making a hell of a racket out there."
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 26, 2010, 04:40:19 AM
Quote from: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 01:41:38 AM
"Don't be such a pussy," Jack chided.  "It's not like you haven't seen blood before.  I never liked him anyway with his smug arrogance and cold eyes. And damn if those kids aren't making a hell of a racket out there."
Those damn kids...He had to teach them to stay out of his yard, but there had been too much bloodshed already.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: corey on March 26, 2010, 05:12:56 AM
Then Jack chimed in again..."John, it's a brand new day. Have at it." The pellet gun simply wouldn't do. John made his way over to the walk-in closet.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 07:36:14 AM
Jack was the guiding light, the sagacious voice of guidance and purpose, and John was the vessel capable of carrying out Jack's directive.  He was Jack's contemptuous smile, his authoritative pledge, he was the one who spewed ash on the world.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 08:48:24 AM
Quote from: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 07:36:14 AM
Jack was the guiding light, the sagacious voice of guidance and purpose, and John was the vessel capable of carrying out Jack's directive.  He was Jack's contemptuous smile, his authoritative pledge, he was the one who spewed ash on the world.

Walking to the back of the small closet, John traded the double-barrel 12-guage in his hand for the black AR-15 assault rifle standing in the corner.  "Now we're talking," Jack said, as John headed for the back door.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Pip on March 26, 2010, 09:05:36 AM
Quote from: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 08:48:24 AM
Walking to the back of the small closet, John traded the double-barrel 12-guage in his hand for the black AR-15 assault rifle standing in the corner.  "Now we're talking," Jack said, as John headed for the back door.

Before he reached the back door, he craned his neck to take one last look at the Barrett .50 cal, and with a knowing grin said, "Not now honey... I'll save you for later."
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 09:29:49 AM
Realizing he was was stalling, he turned and left the room, stepping lightly over the body of Officer Blaylock still rolled up in the oriental rug, and his butler, whose blood cascaded down the marble stairs like a crimson waterfall.  John exited the villa, took twelve paces across the lawn, and raised the sight to his eye.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Grampa on March 26, 2010, 10:21:49 AM
Making lolcat style gunshot noises... pew pew pew, John picks off his intended targets.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 10:46:05 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on March 26, 2010, 10:21:49 AM
Making lolcat style gunshot noises... pew pew pew, John picks off his intended targets.

"Must I do everything," Jack growled.  "You are really beginning to piss me off."  Unable to resist Jack's darkening anger, John thumbed off the rifle's safety with an audible click.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 26, 2010, 10:58:54 AM
And that's when the rabid mutant grizzly-porcupine, escaped from the local top-secret military research facility, broke cover from behind the neighbor's shrubs, screaming with bloodlust and a taste for human flesh.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 12:00:42 PM
"Stop narrating from your crappy comic book, Susan, I'm trying to shoot the neighbor's kids!" John shouted to his mistress, who was lying on a bearskin rug before a massive fireplace, a graphic novel opened in front of her.  She really is useless, he though to himself, and he squeezed the trigger.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Grampa on March 26, 2010, 12:54:25 PM
Quote from: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 12:00:42 PM
"Stop narrating from your crappy comic book, Susan, I'm trying to shoot the neighbor's kids!" John shouted to his mistress, who was lying on a bearskin rug before a massive fireplace, a graphic novel opened in front of her.  She really is useless, he though to himself, and he squeezed the trigger.

She was..... a knockout. She was...... my love. She had hair like Jeannie Shipton back in 1965, but that was then.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 01:22:40 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on March 26, 2010, 12:54:25 PM
She was..... a knockout. She was...... my love. She had hair like Jeannie Shipton back in 1965, but that was then.


The sound of the AR-15's firing pin clicking harmlessly into an empty chamber brought John back to the present. 
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 02:14:40 PM
Quote from: Mike_D on March 26, 2010, 01:22:40 PM
The sound of the AR-15's firing pin clicking harmlessly into an empty chamber brought John back to the present. 

He was back in his bedroom.  He hadn't gone anywhere.  There was no gun in his hand, no mistress reading a comic book, no children climbing on his shed, no butler bleeding in the hall, no bludgeoned body in a rug.  It was only him, head pounding, confused, standing on the precipice of his own tormented madness.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 26, 2010, 02:18:33 PM
Quote from: NoisyDante on March 26, 2010, 02:14:40 PM
He was back in his bedroom.  He hadn't gone anywhere.  There was no gun in his hand, no mistress reading a comic book, no children climbing on his shed, no butler bleeding in the hall, no bludgeoned body in a rug.  It was only him, head pounding, confused, standing on the precipice of his own tormented madness.

Just what had he done last night. He remembered meeting friends at the bar, lots of drinks, and then he saw the face of the one person from the group he hadn't known previously.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Grampa on March 26, 2010, 02:32:56 PM
That IZish posted picture face.... it was all a blur. Damn the drinks, damn the night... I need to remember that face.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 26, 2010, 03:28:48 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on March 26, 2010, 02:32:56 PM
That IZish posted picture face.... it was all a blur. Damn the drinks, damn the night... I need to remember that face.

[laugh]

Sorry.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 27, 2010, 10:16:13 AM
"What's that Livingston?"  "I said 'Sorry' sir, we're out of gin, would you like me to make up a batch of jungle juice in the bathtub?"  John pondered the thought for a moment, but decided no, Margaret was dropping off the kids later and if they showed up will he was belligerently drunk again she may seek full custody.  Not that that would be a bad thing, he wasn't even sure if the kids were his.  "No Livingston, thank you, I'll take an Irish Carbomb in the library.  And hold all my calls, I'm plotting another evil scheme to take over the world."
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 27, 2010, 11:39:20 AM
Quote from: NoisyDante on March 27, 2010, 10:16:13 AM
"What's that Livingston?"  "I said 'Sorry' sir, we're out of gin, would you like me to make up a batch of jungle juice in the bathtub?"  John pondered the thought for a moment, but decided no, Margaret was dropping off the kids later and if they showed up will he was belligerently drunk again she may seek full custody.  Not that that would be a bad thing, he wasn't even sure if the kids were his.  "No Livingston, thank you, I'll take an Irish Carbomb in the library.  And hold all my calls, I'm plotting another evil scheme to take over the world."

far far Too long
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: NoisyDante on March 27, 2010, 10:37:40 PM
owell
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 27, 2010, 11:19:14 PM
Seated in his favorite leather wingback, he felt the warming flush of the Carbomb coursing through his veins...reflecting on the days events, he decided with renewed alcohol-fueled enthusiasm that it was time to take the bike out for a midnight spin
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: lethe on March 28, 2010, 06:54:49 AM
Tearing down the alley on his trusty '77 Yamaha Champ 80 with an oil soaked fog billowing behind him, he felt ready to take on the world.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 28, 2010, 08:12:01 AM
looking in the mirror he thought to himself..."doesn't smoke like my trusty old Jawa but it gets me where I need to go" then glancing ahead he saw the light change from orange to red...he slowed down and thought he was still rolling when he and the bike fell over,  the red lights of the patrol car flashed behind him.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 28, 2010, 09:46:00 AM
The patrolman stopped the car, lights ablaze, then got out and walked slowly over to the fallen rider. John looked up in a fog, then did a double-take.

It was Officer Ruth Blaylock.

"What the make the beast with two backs....", John muttered, barely audible.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 28, 2010, 10:25:25 AM
Quote from: Speedbag on March 28, 2010, 09:46:00 AM
The patrolman stopped the car, lights ablaze, then got out and walked slowly over to the fallen rider. John looked up in a fog, then did a double-take.

It was Officer Ruth Blaylock.

"What the make the beast with two backs....", John muttered, barely audible.

She drew her encrusted nightstick from its loop on her Sam Browne belt and slapped it repeatedly into the open palm of her free hand until the scent of it hit her nostrils, she stared down at the puddle of "car bombed" inebriation lying on the ground moaning
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Mike_D on March 28, 2010, 01:26:07 PM
Quote from: RAT900 on March 28, 2010, 10:25:25 AM
She drew her encrusted nightstick from its loop on her Sam Browne belt and slapped it repeatedly into the open palm of her free hand until the scent of it hit her nostrils, she stared down at the puddle of "car bombed" inebriation lying on the ground moaning

As John struggled to get up off the wet pavement, a familiar voice penetrated the fog of the Jameson's and Guiness.  "Hey buddy," Jack warned, "if you don't want your head to become a piñata, I suggest that you MOVE YOUR ASS!"   
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: RAT900 on March 29, 2010, 02:24:36 AM
Blaylock quickened her pace as she watched him scrabbling to move away from her like some sort of injured crab...she smiled as she addressed him..."Time for the full Louima sport"
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: KnightofNi on March 29, 2010, 10:58:13 AM
"What the hell does a llama have to do with anything?" John yelped as he flipped over to try and get to his feet.
Title: Re: Community effort storytime
Post by: Speedbag on March 29, 2010, 01:12:01 PM
SMACK!

And Blaylock's nightstick brought his world to a starry pause as she briskly brought it down on the nape of his neck.