I once had a neighbor a few doors down who had a dog; its name was Freddy. The dog was apparently the tragic end-result of a coupling between a Basset Hound and a German Shepherd (the dog, not some guy in lederhosen). Anyway the dog had a Shepherd's head and coat and the short stumpy legs of a Basset....it had no worthy ground surface clearance...its dick actually dragged along on the ground beneath it
When I first saw the creature my heart went out in pity that it had a shepherd's intelligence, alertness and head.... yet it was saddled with a body that couldn't back-up its genetically engineered behavioral instructions. So I called to the critter and it headed towards me on its stumpy little legs wagging its tail. I thought I would pet it and reassure it that it was a fine animal...despite the fact that someone if they had any decency should have gassed the thing at birth
As it got closer it wagged its tail at an increasing pace until it was within 5 or so feet of me...big hopeful looking eyes....I started to crouch to greet it.....then it switched gears and went into a snarling snapping attack mode and attempted to lunge at me....it now had murderous intent in its eyes and jaws
fortunately a brisk few back-steps on my part put a safe distance between us and Freddy was winded early at the exertion. Evidently Mother Nature had supplied her hapless mistake with some measure of coping skills...it had learned over time that it needed to close the distance if it was going to get a chance at taking a chunk out of someone....so it had perfected this friendly dog act
Clearly the animal had not made a successful transition to self-acceptance of its unfortunate lot in life and it wanted more than anything to share its pain...the dog was a tangible piece of damnation personified...perhaps a guard dog in a previous life at Auschwitz or something...
but it made me wonder why some of life's damaged-goods critters go nice and others go bad...I know a lot of humans like Freddy...many of them seem to be more skilled at Freddy's game
That was brilliant.
Bravo
is this really a story about Harry Ried?
What's a Harry Reid?
Quote from: Ducaholic on May 06, 2010, 08:16:26 AM
What's a Harry Reid?
it's like a Deborah Harry only not.
Hahah you just made my day!
Quote from: Ducaholic on May 06, 2010, 08:16:26 AM
What's a Harry Reid?
It's the thin membrane that creates sound in a clarinet that has been dropped on the floor in a barber shop.
Quote from: Ghostly Pip on May 06, 2010, 08:35:00 AM
It's the thin membrane that creates sound in a clarinet that has been dropped on the floor in a barber shop.
I thought it was a piece of regurgitating shit
no?
Great Story Rat
That was a good read :)
Although if my dick dragged on the ground when I walked - and I am not saying that it couldn't- and I didn't have opposable thumbs or underwear, I would probably kill whatever, whenever possible to even the karmic score.
About 15 years ago I knew someone in Soldotna Alaska who owned a cousin to the above mentioned hound. It would get high centered in the snow. [laugh]
Nahhh don't go getting all existential and stuff...
actually Zooom's comments on that Guava Mangusta or whatever it was in the BWAAA! thread reminded me of misbegotten pairings and hence that dog
I just threw in the observation about people to give the recollection a point of sorts...it was an evil farking dog thank the gods that it didn't have the legs it wanted ;)
My cousin always wanted to have his Dad (he's a Vet) inseminate a female Great Dane with the love juice of a Chiahuhua.
His Dad never attempted the experiment.
God, that would be a make the beast with two backsed up looking animal.
Quote from: cyrus buelton on May 07, 2010, 04:51:43 AM
My cousin always wanted to have his Dad (he's a Vet) inseminate a female Great Dane with the love juice of a Chiahuhua.
His Dad never attempted the experiment.
God, that would be a make the beast with two backsed up looking animal.
a 4 ft tall yappy dog?
i would have to euthanize it for my own sanity.
That story reminds me of two young boys that never knew each other, but Both of them were afflicted with muscular dystrophy. The first kid "Randy" was my great Uncles Grandson. He and his sister had the unfortunate experience of witnessing their Father and mother Killed one night while they cowered under the kitchen table. This incident, as well as the weird household they lived in, left them both mentally scarred. Randy became the meanest, most unpleasant person I have ever met in my life. He would just push you to the limit of endurance of how much B.S. you could put up with. When he went to live with his aunt in Florida it was reported that she became so fed up with him one day that she tipped him over in his wheel chair right on top of a red ant pile and left him there in the hot Florida sun.
My sisters son Bobby, has an even worse case of MD and has never been able to walk, and now at the age of 10, has never learned to speak either. Bobby only makes his best attempt at making some noises but the muscles never developed enough to speak properly. He is confined to a wheelchair and gets home schooled. The kid has an angelic demeanor and just smiles at you when you look at him, and besides his body being in a half vegetative state, he is always pleasant to be around. I have a hard time dealing with it when I go over there. It makes me sad.
Randy was mad at the world because he got a shitty deal and Bobby is just the opposite. Who can figure these things out?
Quote from: D Paoli on May 07, 2010, 06:25:29 AM
Who can figure these things out?
The Mammal mind works in weird weird ways, doesn't it?
(the reason I say mammal is because it started as a dog story about how one reacted and then moved to a human nature)
Probably my psychology in this, but I loved my one Sociology class in college.
Sort of makes you think the word "stereotype" isn't always the case. The real word is "reality."
Quote from: RAT900 on May 06, 2010, 12:19:56 PM
Nahhh don't go getting all existential and stuff...
actually Zooom's comments on that Guava Mangusta or whatever it was in the BWAAA! thread reminded me of misbegotten pairings and hence that dog
I just threw in the observation about people to give the recollection a point of sorts...it was an evil farking dog thank the gods that it didn't have the legs it wanted ;)
this is simple cause and effect
you take a happy dog
ask it to come to you
dog has a dragon peter
gets a splinter
and
you wonder why it got all angry at you
this has nothing to do with evil and unfortunate pairings
this is about the selfishness and lack of forthought of man
if your sperm bastions were hung in the muck
and some bastard wanted you to drag em across the earth
you would be angry before you reached your destination as well
Quote from: Mother on May 07, 2010, 06:53:57 AM
this is simple cause and effect
you take a happy dog
ask it to come to you
dog has a dragon peter
gets a splinter
and
you wonder why it got all angry at you
this has nothing to do with evil and unfortunate pairings
this is about the selfishness and lack of forthought of man
if your sperm bastions were hung in the muck
and some bastard wanted you to drag em across the earth
you would be angry before you reached your destination as well
...and now you all know how I feel on a daily basis.
Then I woke up and realized I was late for work!
Quote from: RAT900 on May 06, 2010, 07:30:20 AM
...the dog was a tangible piece of damnation personified...perhaps a guard dog in a previous life at Auschwitz or something....
Brilliant line (I'm going to steal it next time I'm describing a mean dog.)
I also saw a dog of identical breeding. Handsome head, erect ears, coat, and long feathery tail of a German Shepherd and the unfortunate body and stature of a Basset Hound (I didn't look for his unit.) That Bassgerm Shephound was the most revolting dog I've ever seen. It was actually quite friendly but kinda creepy to pet - imagine giving the Elephant Man a full body massage.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on May 07, 2010, 01:01:25 PM
snipped.........
That Bassgerm Shephound was the most revolting dog I've ever seen. It was actually quite friendly but kinda creepy to pet - imagine giving the Elephant Man a full body massage.
Exactly!!! like some sort of weird science experiment that makes the platypus look mainstream....
it couldn't have looked any odder and creepy if they had stuck the shepherd's head on a human....
it was an Eraserhead sort of creature
My neighbor has the result of a Black Lab and a Jack Russell having sexy time.
In this case it worked out well and the dog perpetually looks like a Black Lab puppy although now that it's getting older it is getting an odd look to it much like a 40 yr old Emmanuel Lewis.