Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 09:13:43 PM

Title: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 09:13:43 PM
We have a cat named Frank. Frank is a black cat with white paws and a white tummy. Frank is a short haired cat. Frank also has a very noticeable pink ass.

Would I be a bad cat owner if I used a wide tip black sharpie and blended in the black around his ass?

I'm tired of see'n his pink ass.


Discuss


another option is that bald spot hair paint
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Buckethead on December 11, 2010, 09:24:17 PM
 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

I...

I can't even figure out where to start.

Are you high?
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Kopfjäger on December 11, 2010, 09:27:19 PM
I wouldn't use the Sharpie on his balloon knot, maybe the bald spot spray.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 09:29:30 PM
I wonder if it would be a burny. I dont want to burn him.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: GAAN on December 11, 2010, 09:42:46 PM
since it bothers you so much

maybe

you should color your eyeballs with the sharpie

you pervert
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Kopfjäger on December 11, 2010, 09:46:59 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 09:29:30 PM
I wonder if it would be a burny. I dont want to burn him.

Give it a test shot on yourself
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:19 PM
Quote from: Mother on December 11, 2010, 09:42:46 PM
since it bothers you so much

maybe

you should color your eyeballs with the sharpie

you pervert
FWIW.... I am not the only person in this house who dislikes the pinkeye
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:46 PM
Quote from: kopfjäger on December 11, 2010, 09:46:59 PM
Give it a test shot on yourself

I would but my back is out
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on December 11, 2010, 09:54:57 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:19 PM
FWIW.... I am not the only person in this house who dislikes the pinkeye

Embrace it-it's the only thing that draws attention away fro those pasty white furry caterpillars you claim are legs.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Desmostro on December 11, 2010, 10:44:50 PM
One ring to rule them all...
That's what you need. Not a sharpie. the ring.

(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20050811213623/uncyclopedia/images/d/db/Evileye.jpg)
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:19 PM
FWIW.... I am not the only person in this house who dislikes the pinkeye
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 11, 2010, 11:27:13 PM
That looks more like an inflamed va jayjay
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Rameses on December 12, 2010, 12:44:47 AM

***shudder***

I think I used to date that girl.





I would second the "test it on yourself" notion...

...but I've never met a cat I've liked.

So go for it.

Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: CairnsDuc on December 12, 2010, 02:50:26 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:19 PM
FWIW.... I am not the only person in this house who dislikes the pinkeye

But does the Eye follow you around the room?
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: The Bearded Duc on December 12, 2010, 03:18:46 AM
I've heard that Duct Tape fixes a lot of things.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Rameses on December 12, 2010, 03:35:10 AM
Quote from: duc750 on December 12, 2010, 03:18:46 AM
I've heard that Duct Tape fixes a lot of things.


And gets his bike painted pink.





(Sorry to the new guys that don't get that.)

Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: RAT900 on December 12, 2010, 04:33:02 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 11:27:13 PM
That looks more like an inflamed va jayjay


Tell the missus that the honeymoon is over and you need a test subject to research the Sharpie method

unfortunately (at times) the human eye is naturally drawn toward points of contrast

you could dye the entire cat "sphincter pink"
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 04:44:40 AM
Its really easy

Feed him some beets every day.

Gradually it will darken to a deep purple.

But if you decide to color your cats asshole, please video it and post.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Speedbag on December 12, 2010, 05:45:28 AM
You could just stop looking at it.  :)

Shoe polish? Tattooing?
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 05:52:22 AM
Tattooing?

Damn.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 06:02:16 AM
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&expIds=17259,18167,24283,27342,28066,28091&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&q=pink+eye+medicine&cp=11&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=9548972113354125367&ei=sdUETcdUyqzwBoXA0fMM&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=3&sqi=2&ved=0CCsQ8wIwAg# (http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&expIds=17259,18167,24283,27342,28066,28091&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&q=pink+eye+medicine&cp=11&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=9548972113354125367&ei=sdUETcdUyqzwBoXA0fMM&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=3&sqi=2&ved=0CCsQ8wIwAg#)

take two drops and call someone else in the morning
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Vindingo on December 12, 2010, 07:05:44 AM
Make him the A or B cat...     



[evil]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 07:07:29 AM
[puke]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Randimus Maximus on December 12, 2010, 07:09:46 AM
Wow.

Just.

Wow.

;D
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 07:13:04 AM
this thread makes me wanna take a shower
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 07:13:29 AM
call this guy, maybe he can help

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pLqR0r3-7o# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pLqR0r3-7o#)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 07:25:46 AM
how do you find this stuff ???
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 07:27:54 AM
Quote from: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 07:25:46 AM
how do you find this stuff ???
good or bad, if you do a search for anything you will find it.
More often than not you will regret it and things will be seen that cannot be unseen
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: WarrenJ on December 12, 2010, 07:32:49 AM
Tatooing would give you a longer lasting solution to your problem.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducpainter on December 12, 2010, 07:50:42 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 11, 2010, 09:52:19 PM
FWIW.... I am not the only person in this house who dislikes the pinkeye

FWIW...

I wish you had kept it in your house.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: LMT on December 12, 2010, 08:16:35 AM
Have the vet check him out. Maybe it is swollen.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 12, 2010, 08:34:29 AM
No...... im sure he's ok. It's just such a stark contrast, im sure
it's even visible from space.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: mitt on December 12, 2010, 08:47:51 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 12, 2010, 08:34:29 AM
No...... im sure he's ok. It's just such a stark contrast, im sure
it's even visible from space.


Maybe there is a little baboon in the cats genetic history?


;D  (strangest thread in a long time)


mitt
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: fastwin on December 12, 2010, 08:55:19 AM
You owe me a new keyboard! Either that or come over here and mop up all the coffee I just blew out through my nose! [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] Once again my wife came in and asked what's so damn funny on the DMF board this time? When I told her all she could do was shake her head and say "holy shit, you guys are sick!" [laugh] [laugh]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducpainter on December 12, 2010, 08:56:42 AM
Quote from: mitt on December 12, 2010, 08:47:51 AM

Maybe there is a little baboon in the cats genetic history?


;D  (strangest thread in a long time)


mitt
T asked me this morning if Joel was OK...

I told her to reconsider her question. ;)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 09:23:25 AM
Bp,  you might have a business idea here.  Semi-perm anal decoration.

Fun for couples and swingers too.  Think of the laughs you'll get when your friend finds a heart, bullseye or portrait of Beethoven back there!

Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Grampa on December 12, 2010, 09:36:57 AM
actually..... I'm thinking the actual root problem may be his tail. When the tail is in the down position.... no bungview. The trick is in getting him a less erect tail.

I googled "how to lose an erection"..... this is on the list.

(http://www.gossiboocrew.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/hillary-clinton.jpg)

Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: fastwin on December 12, 2010, 09:57:18 AM
God dammit! Stop it! [laugh] [laugh] Thank God I'm finished with my coffee! Also means no "nooner" for me. You've ruined the mood! :P
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 11:02:10 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 12, 2010, 08:34:29 AM
No...... im sure he's ok. It's just such a stark contrast, im sure
it's even visible from space.

Just to make everyone go ewwww

I dare you to post a pic
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: il d00d on December 12, 2010, 11:09:15 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 12, 2010, 09:36:57 AM

I googled "how to lose an erection"..... this is on the list.

(http://www.gossiboocrew.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/hillary-clinton.jpg)



Jon Stewart:  "And this... is where boners go to die."

Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: fastwin on December 12, 2010, 11:14:20 AM
Good one! [laugh]

If he posts a pic of it there needs to be some sort of warning. I might be drinking something again!
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: minnesotamonster on December 12, 2010, 11:15:59 AM
http://www.etsy.com/listing/36574444/rear-gear-butt-covers-for-your-cat-and (http://www.etsy.com/listing/36574444/rear-gear-butt-covers-for-your-cat-and)

No reverse bleaching required.  :D
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Monsterlover on December 12, 2010, 11:16:52 AM
Quote from: oldfastwin on December 12, 2010, 11:14:20 AM
Good one! [laugh]

If he posts a pic of it there needs to be some sort of warning. I might be drinking something again!


Hey pal, no one makes you click on this thread

;D
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Kopfjäger on December 12, 2010, 11:35:57 AM
Quote from: minnesotamonster on December 12, 2010, 11:15:59 AM
http://www.etsy.com/listing/36574444/rear-gear-butt-covers-for-your-cat-and (http://www.etsy.com/listing/36574444/rear-gear-butt-covers-for-your-cat-and)

No reverse bleaching required.  :D

Made in Portland no less. [laugh]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: The Architect on December 12, 2010, 02:28:38 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on December 12, 2010, 09:36:57 AM
actually..... I'm thinking the actual root problem may be his tail. When the tail is in the down position.... no bungview. The trick is in getting him a less erect tail.



You may have another option.  Have you tried rogaine?  The fur will cover the unsightly defect and he can walk around with an erect tail. 

Or a couple of fishing weights on his tail will keep the tail down.

I can't believe I added to this.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 02:34:02 PM
cover it up
http://www.amazon.com/Joybies-Piddle-Pants-Measuring-Collar/dp/B000SE7AZG (http://www.amazon.com/Joybies-Piddle-Pants-Measuring-Collar/dp/B000SE7AZG)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 03:23:54 PM
The Architect is thinking about a cat with a hairy arsehole and then feigns shock.  Lol.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Speedbag on December 12, 2010, 03:27:38 PM
Pics are required....
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: DesmoDiva on December 12, 2010, 03:30:55 PM
NO!!!
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 03:34:12 PM
Quote from: DesmoDiva on December 12, 2010, 03:30:55 PM
NO!!!
YES!!!

(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFLpB2WtTR6ql04oXCfjPm9YZOmKYyxjBLBcZCsU9zxrkk2II3)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: muskrat on December 12, 2010, 03:42:14 PM
my wife and I are laughing to no end.   [thumbsup]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Randimus Maximus on December 12, 2010, 03:48:44 PM
meanwhile, at Google HQ, search administrators are confused after seeing a dramatic spike in searches related to feline anal bleaching and/or coloring.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: lethe on December 12, 2010, 03:53:10 PM
Quote from: Randimus Maximus on December 12, 2010, 03:48:44 PM
meanwhile, at Google HQ, search administrators are confused after seeing a dramatic spike in searches related to feline anal bleaching and/or coloring.
hmmmmm.....mostly Australians (the land down under) and people from Ashburn (sounds like Ass burn), VA

http://www.google.com/trends?q=anal+bleaching (http://www.google.com/trends?q=anal+bleaching)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: Scotzman on December 12, 2010, 05:29:24 PM
Quote from: The Architect on December 12, 2010, 02:28:38 PM
You may have another option.  Have you tried rogaine?  The fur will cover the unsightly defect and he can walk around with an erect tail. 

Or a couple of fishing weights on his tail will keep the tail down.

I can't believe I added to this.
Then wouldn't he be cutting crap out of fur like those small footballs/dogs?
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: The Architect on December 12, 2010, 06:24:47 PM
Quote from: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 03:23:54 PM
The Architect is thinking about a cat with a hairy arsehole and then feigns shock.  Lol.

I understand BP's dilemma.  I love dogs but despise dogs that walk around show their ass *.  So I can image BP's discomfort.  Unfortunately he's grown close to the cat and the cat's name is Frank.  I just can't believe we're talking about this on a public forum.

Quote from: Scotzman on December 12, 2010, 05:29:24 PM
Then wouldn't he be cutting crap out of fur like those small footballs/dogs?

Cats are usually much cleaner than dogs (until they get old.)  But either way, he'll have to decide which is worse; taking a sharpie to a cats ass and having the cat rub it's irritated ass all over his house or having a cat that looks like it belongs in the harold and kumar bottomless party scene with dingle berries. 
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: The Bacon Junkie on December 12, 2010, 06:34:30 PM
I saw poor little Frank today. 

Cute cat, ugly butt...




[bacon]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducpainter on December 12, 2010, 06:39:58 PM
Quote from: The Bacon Junkie on December 12, 2010, 06:34:30 PM
I saw poor little Frank today. 

Cute cat, ugly butt...




[bacon]
Your date last night said exactly the opposite. ;D
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 06:59:40 PM
Why were you with his date?
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: ducpainter on December 12, 2010, 07:05:25 PM
Quote from: ducatiz on December 12, 2010, 06:59:40 PM
Why were you with his date?
I didn't say I was.

Reading comprehension an issue tonight? [evil]
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: GAAN on December 12, 2010, 08:48:32 PM
apparently there is a Special Treatment Room for this kind of thing

http://kellyharman.com/2010/03/31/my-cats-butt/ (http://kellyharman.com/2010/03/31/my-cats-butt/)
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: yamifixer on December 14, 2010, 08:59:42 AM
This thread gives validity to my "Long hair only" cat rules.
Title: Re: reverse anal bleaching.
Post by: The Architect on December 14, 2010, 10:48:23 AM
Quote from: yamifixer on December 14, 2010, 08:59:42 AM
This thread gives validity to my "Long hair only" cat rules.

SEE!  I was onto something!  Thank you yamifixer.  And I was doubting myself. 

Do they make Rogaine for pets?  It might be hard getting the right dosage.





(http://runningamuck.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/cousinitto3.jpg)