Ducati Monster Forum

Your friends are envious. You are proud as hell having her in your midst. You feel good being around her. You pinch yourself every time you see that she is in your house. And she is FUN as hell!!!!

However- she also demands a LOT of money. She typically makes you look like a fool when she breaks down. If you don't baby her, she will make you pay.

After all- once she's happy again, you forget all of the trouble she brings you.

Sounds like a hooker not a stripper. [laugh] Either way, the bike is cheaper. [thumbsup] [moto] And besides, bikes don't ever get jealous. ;D

Neither do strippers!!!

I had to hoof my lovely Monster home 3 makes with two backsing miles in full gear in 85 degree makes with two backsing weather due to a ***still*** unknown fuel starvation problem. I hate that make with two backsing bike!!!! I also love her, too. [bang]

...minus the Herpes ;D

Sometimes you have to be a bouncer -

"Look but don't touch!" (http://gstwins.com/gsboard/Smileys/New_Smile/nono.gif)

I have also bankrolled some nice jewellery and plastic surgery, as well. I AM dating a stripper, in essence. :-[

I dated a stripper back in the days when I was young and still good looking.  What you say is true but my relationship with ducati has lasted longer.  Any time I want to relive it I just have to go out to the shop and turn the key.  On the other hand the relationship with the stripper was way too short, there was no way to keep her to myself, and it ended with the drips.  Not that my Duc doesn't drip every now and then. 

Does it count that I had a boil in a not-so-nice place from me sitting on the seat whilst pushing the bike for 3 miles?

oh yes they do. Just ask El Matador. My 996 broke his foot they day he sold her to me  ;D
She was not pleased.

My wife says I have a wife and 4 mistresses one of the mistresses is female and a gogo dancer the other 3 are ducatis ,  she says i can ride a woman for half an hor then fall off and sleep while i can ride a ducati for hours and hours  and then cuddle it in the garage for another few hours ....she reckons women are cheaper .....I dont know i love em all.

And if you get caught beating them, you go to jail.

Another difference , the Ducati won't take care of you when you're sick as hell......

Dolph     :(     

Dolph and others, I just want to remind you we are talking about strippers here.  Not the good kind of woman you take home to mom!  Back when I was dating my stripper there was only one thing we had in common and we worked on that with the greatest possible gusto.  Were I sick and not up to the task, many others were there to take my place.  Sort of like football, when your injured you go to the bench or the locker-room, someone else takes your place, and you get to watch the action. 

Yes- akmnster is CORRECT on ALL accounts!!!!

I won't elaborate on my experiences that I may or may not have had. But you're right on all accounts.

How over extending a metaphor is like creating an excuse to tell everyone I dated a stripper . . .


sac

Oh snap!!  [laugh]

Like dating a stripper?  I can see that.  My Ducati is one pregnant dog I like to mount and ride her for hours. [evil]

..and you wouldn't want to go down on them.

  And You don't pay to play in $20.00 bills, just throw out the $100.00s and go to town..Yeah, I never dated a Stripper, I found much worse...And enjoyed all I had...

 [laugh] [laugh]

I think someone is missing out on an important life experience [laugh] [laugh]

[laugh]

You mean dating a crazy skank filled with hate and daddy issues? Been there. Most of us have. That girl just happened to be the daughter of a guy that owned a few strip clubs, not a stripper herself. Not all that great really. And not much at all like riding a particular brand of motorcycle. Except they are both things people spend a lot more time talking about doing than actually doing. But whatever floats your boat.

sac

they both take debit cards.  :-X  I still say my Ducs are more expensive.

Ding ding ding!!!!

I dated a stripper. I don't think owning a Ducati is anything like it at all.

That just goes to show that all strippers are not the same.  Strippers are people too. ;) ;)

either way you gotta love naked bikes and naked females

ding! ding! ding!!!

If you ride either with the front end up too long you'll get oil all over your leg?

I don't understand this thread

Expensive and unreliable? That's not something to brag about.

i thought this thread was called How owning a Ducati may increase your chances of dating a stripper. lmfao.

i've dated a stripper and the only thing she liked more than attention was competition (well, there was one other thing ;P). as much attention as we give our bikes i bet she'd be losing her fn mind trying find ways to steal some of it back. it could work out pretty good. for awhile.

You brag until they become unreliable and cost you money.

ding ding ding!!!!!

(http://i671.photobucket.com/albums/vv73/Vivid_Distortion/ThisThreadSucks.jpg)

Can't it just be locked and made to go away?

Let me state for the record that I have two Ducatis and have no plans of getting rid of EITHER of them.

This thread was started out of humour because my current Monster has played with gremlins (i.e. hoofing it home three miles). She has caused me a fair bit of headaches and cost me more than a few $$$, but I love her the same. She has been frustrating, but I don't want to get rid of her. Obviously, some people don't find this thread particularly humourous and even possibly offensive.

I did not mean offense to anyone with this thread.

What's wrong with that dude's face??

Did bunnyman666 mention that he put his penis in the vagina of an exotic dancer? Because he did.


sac

This thread just got more interesting.


[popcorn]




IBTL.

this thread is funny.

but i haven't dated a stripper so i can't say how it compares to a motorcycle

K. I don't disagree. So post elsewhere. Now wasn't that easy?  [roll]

That's not good enough. You see, Mr. I's wife and my wife are both moto riding members of this board. And we don't want misogynistic bullshit like this to become the norm like it is on so many other moto forums. So when someone acts like a misogynistic douche canoe we like to jump and point it out in an attempt to nip that bullshit in the bud. Not that I speak for Mr. I, but I think generally the notion is to keep the place from getting too douched up. The moderators do a damn good job of it, but sometimes its best when people police themselves.

Cheers.

sac

There is nothing in the guidelines of this board that remotely suggest that the members police themselves or anyone else.

If any of you have an issue with any post use the RTM button.

Before the thread was locked and unlocked I was going to post that I thought it was interesting to note the person trying to defend the sensitivities of females was the one to start announcing misogynist attitudes (that's just the way it read to me).

One of the things that I like about the board is that most of the time we are not too PC ... and we can allow ourselves to laugh at the odd thoughts that enter our (somewhat twisted) minds.

In saying that ... are male strippers high maintenance as well? If you looked at the thread that way ... there can't be any compaints about misogynistic behaviour [cheeky]

call me crazy but I thought this thread was funny.  It didn't seem offensive to me but if it were I'd simply NOT look at this thread.  Kinda like Skinemax (don't subscribe), which I like.  [evil]

I work in an industry where I work with literally EVERY walk of life. Some of my best friends are exotic dancers of BOTH genders. One was laughing her butt off over my commentary on Ducati ownership (she owns one). We have lunch about three times per month in a professional capacity, as I am her hair dresser.

I am a married man now, and my wife is NOT a stripper. I never really said that I had dated an exotic dancer.

And yes, male strippers are as high IF NOT HIGHER maintenance than their female counterparts.

Thanks for getting the gist (and humour) of the initial message.

Thank you very much.

I would have to agree with that.

How did this get so serious  :( What ever happened to our sense of humor.  Geesh.  We can't even have fun with stereotypes of strippers and expensive high maintenance motos!  In my life I've been close to 3 strippers.  One was my GF briefly and the other two were very close friends.  I'd say that all of them were very different and none of them fit a stripper stereotype.  The GF made no demands on me and expected no expensive gifts. The other two did to some degree fit the stereo type of the resourceful Alaskan tough woman.  Attractive and strong, able to charm, at home in carhartts, and experts at cleaning salmon.  My old monster however, does fit the stereotype.  It was always breaking down.  It was expensive to keep running.  It got me lots of attention including greater interest from the woman that later became my wife. 

So, can we get back to having fun.  If your not interested in a  [laugh] this may not be the thread for you. 

Thank you.

Yes, the girls I know don't generally fit the stereotype; however- they know a few who definitely fit the stereotype and tell me many stories!!!!

Yes, my bike DEFINITELY fits the stereotype, unfortunately...

Damn, something must be wrong with my bike... it's more like one of them wild Alaskan bush women... reliable, doesn't need much attention, and is perfectly happy with having the shit flogged out of it.

How dare you speak of Alaskan women in this fashion!  I used to date several Alaskan husky busy bushy women and they were nothing like what you have described...  








J/K  ;D :P

Now- it's the Alaskan husky busy women you have to look out for  [laugh]

But let's talk about the gifts and plastic surgery- My Monster has had a tail tuck, and has several new pieces of jewellery; and I did NOT mind spending ONE penny on her.

My Monster is just working its way through college, don't you dare judge it.

IS she going through Medical or Law school? How many apartment building could have paid for with the money you spent on her? How many does she own?

You know, you're right. I was under the mistaken impression that when someone posts something intended to be funny but you find slightly objectionable that you should throw a little hissy fit (http://www.ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=43338.msg866956#msg866956) about it. But I was wrong.

I don't much care for the Mommy and Daddy Button, but I see the error of my ways. I apologize for interrupting such a hilarious and informative thread. So let's see, where were we . . .



Hahahahahahahaha . . .   [laugh]  Too funny!  Hahahahahaha . . .  [laugh]   [laugh]  That's awesome! Now I see the humor! I think perhaps it was all just going over my head. A bit too highbrow for me and I'm none too bright sometimes. But I wanna play too! Let's see, um . . .

How is riding a Ducati like dating a stripper?

when I'm not using her I keep her locked in the garage.   [laugh]

Sometimes when she doesn't perform properly I have to stick a screw driver in her.   [laugh]


Thanks for straightening me out Nate. These newly acceptable abusing women/motorcycles jokes are going to be a great addition to the DMF. You were right, this is just all in good fun!   [thumbsup]

sac

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Perhaps we'll let this sit still for a bit.

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