A while back I had a blanket over my shoulders and went to give my wife a hug and wrap the blanket around her too. Too short to reach.
Her (brain failing to come up with the word blanket) "your thing isn't long enough"
Me "that's not what a husband wants to hear from his wife"
Laughter ensues.
And yesterday I bought a big jug of bottled water (3L and it's sort of cube shaped) I had it between my legs while I was driving because once we hit the highway I wanted some of it. It was slightly awkward working the gas/clutch/brake with this thing there.
Me "I'm sitting all bow-legged with this thing between my legs"
Her "yeah, it's pretty huge"
It dawned on both of us at the same time.
Laughter ensues.
[laugh]
It's the little things in life that keep you moving.
[laugh]
Good stuff. [laugh]
Laughed hard just last night when my friend spoke an innocent double, double entendre'.
As innocent as it was, still can't type it.
;)
I need to read more funny stuff this morning! [laugh] Shitty night of sleep countered by laughter. ;D Where's that joke thread? [coffee]
I was smacking my wife with a 3 foot long rubber snake yesterday at a kid's birthday party.
I don't recall any of the specific things we were saying but we were laughing an awful lot.
That's really the point isn't it
I had a bit of a reputation as a joker around the place and my reputation spread to my local bar. Down there one night and this beautiful blonde came up to me and said "I hear you're a pretty funny guy, give me a double entendre".
Unlike me to be stuck for words,but, by the end of the night, I still ended up giving her one.
The only problem I have is that in the Army, every possible double entendre is immediately followed by "That's what she said." I am so make the beast with two backsing tired of that phrase. It used to be funny... now it's just another thing that the Army has sucked the fun out of.
That's what she said!
[laugh]
having an entire conversation via text msg like this right now.
my fav lines thusfar
"sometimes it's better to just be suprised by it."
"you seem to be pretty good at sliding it right in."
"you have to watch your angle when you do try to slide it in."
and the conversation was started by an innuendo so this is like triple entendre or something
We had a guy at work who drove the "That's what she said!" bus off the cliff and into the ground.
I was out shopping one day and saw a t shirt with a picture of Tweety Bird saying "Dat's what she said!" and took a picture of it.
The next time he said it at work, I pulled up that picture and told him "Look: when a washed up 80's cartoon character has stolen your punchline, maybe it's time to give up the joke. It's dead."
Not really a double meaning but funny.
Just now I was looking through the freezer for a fruit pyramid. Its what I call these frozen triangular shaped minute maid fruit popsicle things. I wanted a red one because red is the best.
Of course I have eaten all the red ones already.
I pick up an orange one. "make the beast with two backs". And I toss it back.
Another orange one. "make the beast with two backs"
Orange. "make the beast with two backs"
They're all orange. "make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs"
Wife: "what are you make the beast with two backsing over there?"
We laugh.
I find a grape one.
:D
One of my favorite work moments was in an elevator with some co-workers. We were heading out for lunch when a stunning, though somewhat straightlaced HR woman entered on the next floor. She said hi, then asked what I'd gotten delivered. I asked what she meant, and she said 'I WAS WALKING PAST YOUR OFFICE AND COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOUR HUGE PACKAGE." It was fantastic seeing everyone else try not to burst into laughter while she innocently waited for a response.
Good times.
Quote from: Adamm0621 on September 26, 2011, 02:22:10 AM
The only problem I have is that in the Army, every possible double entendre is immediately followed by "That's what she said." I am so make the beast with two backsing tired of that phrase. It used to be funny... now it's just another thing that the Army has sucked the fun out of.
Try switching to "Just like your first time" instead. [evil]
Quote from: Billyzoom on April 26, 2013, 07:19:10 PM
One of my favorite work moments was in an elevator with some co-workers. We were heading out for lunch when a stunning, though somewhat straightlaced HR woman entered on the next floor. She said hi, then asked what I'd gotten delivered. I asked what she meant, and she said 'I WAS WALKING PAST YOUR OFFICE AND COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOUR HUGE PACKAGE." It was fantastic seeing everyone else try not to burst into laughter while she innocently waited for a response.
Good times.
[laugh]
I ain't saying it . . . Let the image speak for itself
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/934765_479662692106870_1547884790_n.jpg)
;D
Quote from: Monsterlover on April 26, 2013, 07:12:09 PM
Not really a double meaning but funny.
Just now I was looking through the freezer for a fruit pyramid. Its what I call these frozen triangular shaped minute maid fruit popsicle things. I wanted a red one because red is the best.
Of course I have eaten all the red ones already.
I pick up an orange one. "make the beast with two backs". And I toss it back.
Another orange one. "make the beast with two backs"
Orange. "make the beast with two backs"
They're all orange. "make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs"
Wife: "what are you make the beast with two backsing over there?"
We laugh.
I find a grape one.
:D
I guess there was no power of orange compelling you at that moment in time!
Quote from: Monsterlover on April 26, 2013, 07:12:09 PM
Not really a double meaning but funny.
Just now I was looking through the freezer for a fruit pyramid. Its what I call these frozen triangular shaped minute maid fruit popsicle things. I wanted a red one because red is the best.
Of course I have eaten all the red ones already.
I pick up an orange one. "make the beast with two backs". And I toss it back.
Another orange one. "make the beast with two backs"
Orange. "make the beast with two backs"
They're all orange. "make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs"
Wife: "what are you make the beast with two backsing over there?"
We laugh.
I find a grape one.
:D
I love those "fruit pyramids". Thanks for reminding me about them.
......and now I'm headed to the store.
If you're not laughing, you're not living. ;)
Quote from: Speedbag on April 29, 2013, 02:57:38 PM
If you're not laughing, you're not living. ;)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
True 'dat.
and when it's you and your wife laughing and making a room of people uncomfortable at the same time then you have arrived ;D
Then we're here :D
Quote from: Autostrada Pilot on April 29, 2013, 01:32:11 PM
I love those "fruit pyramids". Thanks for reminding me about them.
......and now I'm headed to the store.
I wish they sold just a box of red ones [drool]
Quote from: zooom on April 29, 2013, 06:12:14 AM
I guess there was no power of orange compelling you at that moment in time!
The orange ones are good, but they're 3/3 in the pecking order ;D
Quote from: Monsterlover on April 29, 2013, 03:31:16 PM
Then we're here :D
her oldest grandson had his 18th birthday yesterday and got another tat
So we're in the shop and my wife says that I should get a tattoo of a penis on my forehead to which I proudly replied, "No, I'll get a forehead tattooed on my penis!"
Maybe not funny outside of the situation but fun times at the moment
Just got worse from there, I should record our conversations one day 8)
None of this surprises me from two people that use bacon grease hand prints to remember a kid by. ;D
Quote from: ducpainter on April 29, 2013, 03:42:16 PM
None of this surprises me from two people that use bacon grease hand prints to remember a kid by. ;D
pretty sure they're still on that shirt [thumbsup]
Quote from: lethe on April 29, 2013, 03:43:53 PM
pretty sure they're still on that shirt [thumbsup]
Your wife's pants too IIRC. :P
Quote from: ducpainter on April 29, 2013, 03:45:08 PM
Your wife's pants too IIRC. :P
oh was it pants?
show's how well my memory works [laugh]
[laugh]
Ahh, Dimby memories.
I miss the hard cider.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/942177_533381223386928_950373785_n.jpg)
[laugh]
wow.....
Quote from: Darkmonster620 on June 12, 2013, 05:45:56 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/942177_533381223386928_950373785_n.jpg)
JUST LIKE YOUR FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://now.msn.com/pope-says-there-is-gay-lobby-at-the-vatican (http://now.msn.com/pope-says-there-is-gay-lobby-at-the-vatican)
I bet it's a lobby that's been tastefully decorated too.
Every response I have to that post will get me banned, but I still have to say "Well played, sir, well played."
I bet the Nuns lobby is shabby, but they all have very comfortable shoes!
it's all in the pronunciation ...
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/970213_521801204554008_146537450_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/7891_643104532381351_334153788_n.jpg)
[laugh]
(http://fbtrouble.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/222e6f985569a8d85f1d34ce31c7321b-miso-honi-e1358960115215.jpeg)
(http://fbtrouble.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/collegehumor.c1dea3917589c14590b74ad36a77ff73-1-e1358960079398.jpeg)
(http://i367.photobucket.com/albums/oo118/Speedbag/meidong-1_zps4dff1d4e.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/954861_618022311575943_491945250_n.jpg)
***DOGGY STYLE DAY CARE***
TUES. thru FRI. 8:30 to 5:30
SAT. 9 to 3
$20 FULL DAY - ALL BREEDS
had to copy what the pic said, no way of saving it, it was a weird one
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1236681_567693639960555_7531819_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/9896_401777423256369_1871191391_n.jpg)
Driving to work this morning, wound up at a red light next to a truck from a contract gardening service.
Hire A Hoe
970-495-****
"We're so excited for spring, we wet our plants."
(http://ugc.ducati.kontain.com/photo/20110829/prod_8a814a51-d41a-4983-99ba-a8aebac0e148/tb_640x480.jpg)
;D
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/14136_634197586613893_1148380113_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/545602_693535694007473_1213879287_n.jpg)
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1175351_10151981677858465_607013102_n.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/543903_598874500160390_1652211039_n.jpg)
Came across a butt marker today in the home depot. I giggled. A lot.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1521310_697476666952651_144868093_n.jpg)
[clap]
(http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f149/Skybarney/fresh-lunacy-20-11-003_zpsb9d5b9e7.jpg) (http://s46.photobucket.com/user/Skybarney/media/fresh-lunacy-20-11-003_zpsb9d5b9e7.jpg.html)
[laugh]