Just a little rant.
My life has just completely sucked since 2012 started.
In the last 12 days:
- my mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma
- my dad had to reschedule double knee replacement surgery because of my mom's situation
- my uncle that I work with and am very close to ( he's like a 2nd dad ) was diagnosed with prostate cancer & needs to have his entire prostate removed
- last night my girlfriend of almost 3 yrs, that I am totally in love with & was ready to ask to marry me, says to me " This is the best & longest relationship I have ever been in , we get along great, I love your daughter, our house & our puppy & I really like you, but I don't love you & don't want to have sex with you anymore, so I think it would be best for everyone involved if we split up."
- The house is totally in my name ( because of past financial issues she couldn't go on the mortgage) & I cannot afford it on my own, so I'm going to have to sell it , probably as a short sale, or end up facing foreclosure & ruining my credit.
Happy F*&^ing New Year !
Last time I had a convergence of events that make the beast with two backsed up was in August of 1986
I won't bother running my list...it was pretty bad trust me on that...
set me reeling like I never thought possible...
at some points as the shit was still flying in fast and furious
it became so awful I actually started laughing at how absurdly cruel life could be
but in the end it all served to change me for the better
as a certain crotchety old NH guy I know would say....
it gave me the blessing of
"perspective"
Hang in there
Thanks Rat... It's just been really tough dealing with everything all at once.
Hard to see or imagine a light at the end of the tunnel right now.
Damn.. quick go play the lottery. Everyone always does it backwards when they have a very lucky event..
That sucks [thumbsdown] [thumbsdown]
Hang in there, the year can only get better...right? :-\
If it helps - I know folks who've had their prostates out and after 6 months of rest were back to normal - I hope your uncle has the same experience.
Quote from: Mulletbiker on January 12, 2012, 06:34:02 AM
Thanks Rat... It's just been really tough dealing with everything all at once.
Hard to see or imagine a light at the end of the tunnel right now.
Oh man I hear ya....my "convergence" was packed into 1 week with a month of after-shocks as bad as the initial quakes
I remember driving along a few weeks afterwards, it was high autumn...leaves dropping like crazy...
and I got this sense that my life was like some insane mosaic wall mural made up of all these pieces of tile...
this giant picture I had glued together
and the whole thing had just collapsed on the floor into a pile of rubble
and I now had to start sorting through all the pieces and decide what was salvageable and what was lost
knowing that whatever I started gluing back up on the wall would form a very very different picture
just deal with the shit as it comes....you'll get a handle on the triage of priorities
at times like these you have to sort of accept that your existence just got hijacked
our tour here involves dealing with life on life's terms
not always ours.....though we all would like to think we have the final say on what happens and when it should occur
as ugly as it all is....this is the shit that gives us a chance to see the true unvarnished measure of who we are
and the stuff we are made of...the stuff that really matters
you will get through it all...
the ugly alternative is to become bitter and self-pitying
humanity has already met its quota of those folks
life's roadside ditches are lined with them
stay on the path and keep marching
Quote from: RAT900 on January 12, 2012, 07:05:55 AM
Oh man I hear ya....my "convergence" was packed into 1 week with a month of after-shocks as bad as the initial quakes
I remember driving along a few weeks afterwards, it was high autumn...leaves dropping like crazy...
and I got this sense that my life was like some insane mosaic wall mural made up of all these pieces of tile...
this giant picture I had glued together
and the whole thing had just collapsed on the floor into a pile of rubble
and I now had to start sorting through all the pieces and decide what was salvageable and what was lost
knowing that whatever I started gluing back up on the wall would form a very very different picture
just deal with the shit as it comes....you'll get a handle on the triage of priorities
at times like these you have to sort of accept that your existence just got hijacked
our tour here involves dealing with life on life's terms
not always ours.....though we all would like to think we have the final say on what happens and when it should occur
as ugly as it all is....this is the shit that gives us a chance to see the true unvarnished measure of who we are
and the stuff we are made of...the stuff that really matters
you will get through it all...
the ugly alternative is to become bitter and self-pitying
humanity has already met its quota of those folks
life's roadside ditches are lined with them
stay on the path and keep marching
This. ^
2005 was my year with two cancer family members, a divorce and the death of my beloved Springer Spaniel. You will pull through!
Thanks for the well wishes guys.
Been a tough few days.
I manage to put a few good hours in, but then the despair rolls back in & it takes me a while to get out of the funk.
Going out for a [drink] with a buddy of mine tonight ... I hope it helps.
Did u get the tickets yet?
Quote from: peeny on January 12, 2012, 01:03:08 PM
Lottery.
Duh... shows how bad my mind is right now.
And cokey yes, at your suggestion I grabbed a megamillions ticket when I went out for lunch today !
Since there's nothing you can do on the first two things, lets concentrate on these two things:
Quote from: Mulletbiker on January 12, 2012, 05:51:59 AM
- last night my girlfriend of almost 3 yrs, that I am totally in love with & was ready to ask to marry me, says to me " This is the best & longest relationship I have ever been in , we get along great, I love your daughter, our house & our puppy & I really like you, but I don't love you & don't want to have sex with you anymore, so I think it would be best for everyone involved if we split up."
- The house is totally in my name ( because of past financial issues she couldn't go on the mortgage) & I cannot afford it on my own, so I'm going to have to sell it , probably as a short sale, or end up facing foreclosure & ruining my credit.
Put an ad in Craigslist, or whatever, and rent out a room or two in your house.
See what the market bears, and charge a bit less than that to get someone in the door quickly, with money in hand.
Do whatever you can to keep the house, as the financial sting from that is almost as bad as the feeling of failure after having lost it to the mortgage company.
As for the ex-gf, better for her to have done this now, than to have her do this after getting married.
Chances are, she's already got someone else lined up. Try not to think too hard on this.
As for your kid, I take it your daughter isn't her daughter?
Be grateful that's the case, then.
Oh, and you get to keep the puppy. Say its because your daughter is emotionally bonded with it.
Oh, and drain all the transmission fluid out of her car.
No, wait, I was supposed to tell you NOT to do that.
That's right.
Don't do that, its bad, mmmn-kay?
Just get an ad in Craigslist, or with a local renting company, and get someone moved in.
Make them short term leases, 3 to 6 months, this way you're not stuck with someone you despise for a long period of time.
Also, hire Merry-maids, or some company like that to spruce up your place a bit before the prospective renters start showing up. No point letting them think the place is a dump.
Good luck to you and all the early problems you're having.
My year isn't going much better, but as long as you keep your head up, and realize that life isn't purposely trying to strangle you, its just showing you a new way to adjust to the rapid fire volley of flying excrement coming from that big fan over there.
BC.
Wow, that's a list. Sorry to hear about all that crap.
Regarding your mom (and you and whatever family you have), the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's website has an abundance of information for her and everyone else if she hasn't / you haven't already been to their site or their Boston office.
While this link goes directly to the Lymphoma page, you'll notice many other areas for information and support. http://www.lls.org/#/diseaseinformation/lymphoma/ (http://www.lls.org/#/diseaseinformation/lymphoma/)
I highly recommend you contact them if they haven't been already.
Sorry I can't give you any more help in the other areas that hasn't already been given.
Rant whenever you need to. Just remember, it WILL get better. One foot in front of the other.... ;)
sorry to hear about your tough spot, hang in there.
i think rats mosaic mural analogy is truly awesome and inspiring [thumbsup]
here's to the redesign of your mural [wine]
++ to much of the above mentioned.
One more view:
It's normal to feel down in your situation.
You should "keep marching", but don't go around thinking you "should" feel better, it's not to be expected.
Stay healthy and safe [thumbsup]
^^ excellent point...to express one's grief is forward movement...saying "ouch" when it hurts is healthy
making a lifestyle out of stuffing "ouch" can kill you ;)
Uh...
That sucks. Sorry to hear. I guess it can only get better, right? Best of luck. Go for a ride then have a few beers at home. [drink]
Try to view things one at a time and if solvable, tackle it and cross it off the list. Prioritize, make time for your self and whatever you do, don't bunch everything up into one big Mountain of shit.........compartmentalize.
Good luck to you.
In the midst of a huge, hellishly expensive project, this week my boss remarked that not much seems to faze me in the work environment. I get a little stressed from time to time, but take it in stride for the most part. The way I see it, tomorrow will be a better day. Nobody's gonna take away my birthday. Stuff like that.
After I dealt with my Dad's untimely and somewhat catastrophic passing in late '08, I realized that it's not worth getting bent out of shape over the stuff that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I call it my semi-make the beast with two backs-it-all mentality.
The bullshit will pass without terrible consequences for the most part. Focus on what really matters. That kind of thing.
As the old saying goes, keep your pecker hard and your powder dry and the world will turn.
I look at life like a rollercoaster, right now you are at the bottom of the largest fall. But you are still on the track. As long as you don't jump out of the car, things will start looking up. When it rains, it pours but when the sun is shining, oh its all good. Hang in there the sun is about to break through.
i hope your 2011 was a good one, because according to the Mayans, there will be no 2013....
while you wait for that lottery ticket, i would recommend a quick "pressure relief" vacation. do it somewhere with no rules....go by yourself......
Quote from: herm on January 14, 2012, 07:38:01 AM
i would recommend a quick "pressure relief" vacation. do it somewhere with no rules....go by yourself......
Did some one say Hedonism Resorts? [cheeky]
Sorry for all the family medical issues and other personal bullshit. Funny how crap seems to happen all at once. Like there is some cosmic jokester up there that loves to kick people when they are down. Oh yeah, there is... it's called life. It's caused by living. If you were dead you wouldn't have these problems. Had an old doctor who had that as his favorite saying. ;) Doc, what's causing this problem, pain, rash, etc? It's caused by living he would say. He was right.
Lots of good stuff already mentioned here. Can't really add anything of value. I just feel your pain and hope your sick family members get better. And they are right, be gald she pulled the plug before you got married. Not that makes you feel any better right now but down the road it would have been worse. Legally, etc... Good luck with it all. Nothing like hitting bottom. Up is the only way out. [thumbsup]