Ducati Monster Forum

So the back story is, I've been talking to this new girl for a couple of weeks now.  We originally met through friends, and it just so happens that she also rides.  The first night we met, we rode two-up on my Monster because her ex-boyfriend (and for good reason) crashed her bike.  She should be getting a new bike soon, so hopefully we'll be riding together in the near future.

Honestly, with no offense to any females on the board, the majority of rides that I've gone on with females present were less than enjoyable due to their riding ability, or lack thereof.  I'm not talking about spirited, carving the twisties, WOT riding, just casual group rides.  Now, this girl was a great passenger, but that doesn't guarantee that those skills transfer to riding solo.

Does anyone here have any experience of riding with someone they were/are currently involved with?  Does riding and dating mix, or does it lead to competitiveness, bitterness, etc..?

This is most likely one of those scenarios where I'll just have to wait and see how things play out, but in the mean time, I figured I'd ask you all and see if there's anything to be learned from past experiences.  Advice from any of the female riders on the board would be greatly appreciated as well.

Man that's great that you're dating a girl that rides ,i would just enjoy and cherish it, hard to find a date that has the same passion as yours :-)

my wife never rode before meeting me.
i taught her how to be a good passenger.
now she wants to get her own bike.
and... she's scaring me with her goals... she wants a Diavel. I have a 696. My ego is dying.
but honestly, I think she's hot for wanting to ride.

my fiancee rides...it was because of local social Ducati Monster meet-ups through T.O.B. in the CAM group....she didn't have a bike or the endorsement yet, but she was set in her ways to get there...

here we are 5+ years later...She graduated from her GS500e, she has her M620 still and is looking to potentially upgrade to my track M900 for the street...she doesn't ride as fast as I do, and probably never will...but she knows and understands the concept of riding your own ride and always encourages me to not wait for her and just do my thing and she'll catch up...and it all works out in the end as long as there is a clear understanding and no one's ego gets in the way.

I started talking to my husband due to his ST4.

At the time I didn't have my M endorsement, just permit. 

A couple years earlier, I had started out as a passenger with my previous bf, and quickly wanted a bike of my own.  I bought a little yami cruiser that I rode for a few months and hated.  Never felt comfortable on it.  Life changed and the bike needed to go.

I never gave up on riding, it just wasn't the right time. 

B and I met and started dating a few months later.  He bought me the MSF course for my birthday.  He started me back riding on his ST4 in parking lots.  Then we starting looking for bikes for me.  Nothing seemed to fit as well as the ST, but it was a bit bigger than I wanted, until I saw  a Monster.  So, he bought me a 695. 

The ST that started it all is now mine, and I sold my 695 and upgraded to a 749 SBK.

We've ridden two-up as necessary, but definitely prefer riding our own bikes.  He always lets me lead. 

I'm a much worse passenger now that I ride my own bike. 

Kudos for finding a partner that rides.   [thumbsup]

Nothing sexier than a woman that rides.   ;D

He had a good reason to crash her bike?

I think he meant it was a good reason as to why he is her ex...but I thought the same thing in how it was worded...

I think that too.

The opposite never entered the picture...because of the way it was worded. :-\

I'm all for it.  If you are secure enough to not get all competitive, then that is out of the way (and if you're not, that's something YOU need to fix).  If the problem is that she doesn't ride well enough, then get her (or even better, go with her to) some riding classes (Total Control, etc.).  Several of the women I have dated were riders, and it was great to have that shared interest.

My wife did not ride when we met, but was a good passenger.  The Monster is not a great two-up bike, though.  I was thinking about getting an ST2 or similar, but had an opportunity to pickup a little Honda 250, so I did that for her to learn to ride on, and she took to it.  So now she's got her own Monster -- problem solved.  Our daughter rides, too, and wrenches on her own bikes.  Between the three of us, we've got 10 motorcycles and 1 car.

PhilB

i had a feeling it was that, but the way it was worded indicates otherwise.. :-)  split predicates are very tricky..

My second (and last) wife was riding a Guzzi V50 when we met at an office party.  I was on an R100RS in those days.

A slender Canadian living in Texas with red hair and black leather (literally) on an uncommon Italian bike.  Waaay too smart to let any guy ride her scoot, or to trust any guy as pillion.  An independent gal.

Lust at first sight.  "Dating" didn't last long.  'Lived in sin' for 5 years then 22 years of marriage.

The obvious answer is "Hell Yes"  .... you just might get as lucky as I did.

 [beer]


oh yeah, #1 you ask?  hated bikes  .... I should'a known better .... at least I applied lessons learned  ;)

2001cromo (Terry) and I met in Sept of 2004.   Our Monsters brought us together.  I was riding a M620 at the time and he had a M900 (before the cromo).     We were both 35 when we met, I was a newbie with 6 months of riding experience and he had been riding since he was 16.    I'm the type that is always trying to learn.  So I learned what I could from following him around, but I was the one that brought him with me to the Total Control ARC courses.   And funny enough, after the Level 1 course he thanked me, because he actually learned alot, even though he thought he wouldn't get anything out of it.
I 'm the one that suggested for us to ride to Deal's Gap.   I'm the one that suggested to go to the track, and signed us up for our local Duc club trackdays and Cali Superbike School (levels 1-4).  For the past 3 years or more 99% of our riding is only track.   

It wasn't only the riding that brought us together.   The other bond is  the reason why the majority of us DMFrs are here: we both suffered mod-itis... really bad cases!   So we spent many of nights together working on our bikes!

After first meeting Terry and following him around for a month, it turned to me doing the  leading.  I think for a couple of reasons.  #1 He enjoyed watching my butt as I rode,   and #2 importantly he is HORRIBLE with directions.  I was always the one planning out our route for our spirited rides on the weekends.    If there's a road that has a simple end at a T- intersection that we can rip on, then I let him go in front and follow him for a change. 
Funny story, when we were first dating he wanted to take me to a Thai restaurant (Sea) in Brooklyn that his friends told him about.   Once we got to Brooklyn from Manhattan, I quickly noticed that we were going in circles.  I pulled over and told him, "listen I know you're lost, just call your friend and get directions".   [roll]  When Terry gets lost he thinks he'll find his destination by going in larger concentric circles.  Now at the track he can finally lead, as he can't get lost.

Anyway, as far as   "competitiveness, and bitterness"  as PhilB pointed out, that's on you.  I don't know your female friend and so we can't say how she will be.

Terry has always been a FASTER rider than me, BUT believe it or not I've always been and continue to be a SMOOTHER rider than he is!   

Currently we have in our stable: 
His: 2001M900cromo (highly modded), 2007 GSX-R 750 (track only) 
Her's: 2002 M900 (award winning), 2004 SV650 (track & street) and (formerly T's) 2009 ZX-6R (track only).

I think I lead for those same reasons.   ;D

B and I have also taken Total control ARC I & II.  

Our honeymoon was California Superbike School levels 1-3.

M. Thanks for reminder why I love hanging out with B so much.  We have been on the bikes less and less, and it shows in the intermittent strain in our relationship.  

Sometimes a  [Dolph] is just what the Dr. ordered.

that's a GREAT story

If it turns into a dating experience, it should be for more reasons than just because she rides....

I met my wife through riding friends. She used to be one of the faster riders in the area and was once offered a sponsorship (bike and everything) by a local business, but she turned it down. I met her after she totaled a 100k+ mile GSXR-750 that she bought with only about 3000 miles on it, and we started dating after she'd already bought another GSXR-750. Prior to me, she could almost NEVER have a relationship with a guy who rode because their egos were constantly hurt and they tried to make it competitive (and they always lost). Even after her paralyzing accident in 2003, she is still faster than a lot of people and she still pisses off a lot of guys. I have very little ego with my riding and don't care if she is faster than me in some sections of road, even at her much more reserved pacec. I will admit that my riding has vastly improved since we've gotten together and logged over 70k miles together, including a SaddleSore 1000.

On the other hand, we've ridden with other women (and men) who "rode". Let's just say that our riding styles and abilities sometimes were not very similar, and it often made the riding experience less enjoyable - sometimes downright painful. I have the advantage of swapping bikes, depending on the pace we will keep. Sometimes even the bikes I ride much slower (like my 1987 Paso 750) are still too fast paced.

(http://www.desmodemon.com/vicks_gsxr.jpg)

(http://www.desmodemon.com/R1_jocassee_1.jpg)

(http://www.desmodemon.com/monster/vick_n_monster_brp.jpg)

+1

Sorry... I should have clarified.  He was her boyfriend.  He crashed her bike.  He's now the ex-boyfriend.

There won't be any ego on my part... I ride a 696, she rides liter bikes.  She may be joining the Ducati community shortly, as she has her eyes on a yellow 999.  I may upgrade to the Diavel in a bit, but that's only because I want a little more oomph, not because I feel the need to ride hard.  I prefer the riding style of the Monster/Diavel more than that of a SBK, but even then, I'd be more than satisfied with an 848 (Dark of course).

We're not dating yet, per se, as we're both recovering from divorces, but the potential is there.  The other night we talked about motorcycles for over an hour, and I can honestly say that the concept of being in a relationship with someone who truly understands my passion for riding is more than a little appealing.

I tend to think my last marriage might have made it if we would have had more in common.  You know... like loyalty, and morals. [roll]  It's great to hear the success (marriage) stories, or how riding can bring people together, and strengthen relationships. Thanks for all of the input everyone.

when my girl and I first met she loved riding on the back of my monster.

Eventually she wanted to ride, so she took an msf course. At the time we couldn't afford a second bike, so she rode my 900 cromo whenever I was at work or when she just wanted to take off for and hour or two. It was the only bike she had ever ridden, so the only bike she would consider for her own when the time came to get one. To that end, I found a crashed 2000 900 and we rebuilt it for her.

The funny thing is, as much as she loves to ride herself, she still loves to ride pillion. She says it's nice to be close some days instead of riding seperate bikes. I definitely agree, after 9 years together, I still love having her on the back of my bike with her arms around me.

That sounds great!

Most of my friends who have gone through a divorce are naturally gun shy about new relationships and often focus on the reasons why it might not work, the *potential* negatives.  Take your time, for sure, but don't over think it, brother.  Obviously it's important to have some common ground and shared passions can be great for a relationship.  On the other hand, sometimes it's nice to have your own thing.  My girl loves to ride 2up but has zero interest in learning to ride herself.  That's fine by me.  She gets that it's my thing enough that sometimes she'll suggest I go take a ride when she can sense that I need to cool out and I love the shit out of her for that.  Honestly, my biggest concerns with a girl who rides would have more to do with the reality that I am currently struggling hard enough to afford my own Ducati habit.  But if my girl wanted her own bike to ride with me, I'd make it happen.  The point is, if it's meant to be the bike thing will work itself out perfectly.

Oh, and for the record, chicks who ride are F'n SEXY!!

i don't know how i'd feel about that...it would just suck godforbid something happened, and its because you wanted to move the pace up alittle or something, who knows, seems a little odd to me. but hey, im sure its sweet.

Not a chance

Huh?

To be honest, if she can ride and is confident, I don't mind if she is as "skilled" just the fact that she rides with me is good enough. Something you both do together is awesome!! I personally don't ride two up.

 Not 3 sundays ago my SO woke up and told me she wanted to join me on my usual sunday ride, gave her the basics and we went for a very long ride. She was a natural, not a single hiccup, we both had an amazing ride and now have something else to share. She recently started talking about getting her own bike and started researching smaller displacement bikes for herself. I know it shouldn't, but it makes me extremely proud when she starts talking about bikes.... [thumbsup]


*spelling

keri and I are engaged to be married next July. she's been riding a good 4 years longer than I have. the whole reason I started ;D
go for it man.

This thread started on my b-day. No wonder I missed it.

Anyway, my wife grew up around motorcycles (her dad ran a club in MI).  She did not ride and TBH at the time neither did I.  I started about a year after we got married and she rode as passenger from then on (once I had some decent experience).  She now has her own bike (damn sportster) and she is learning to ride (has taken the MSF x2 already)(and passed both times just to clarify). 

I love that she rides and that we can share this interest.  Long term, shared interests will help to ensure a strong and healthy relationship.

To me it's like dancing together, and can be very special.

Motorcycles and the OTHER sex.....

I grew up riding dirt bikes & racing motocross.

1st wife pressured me into getting out of weekly dirt rides when our first child arrived.
Divorce followed 5 years later.... [roll]

2nd wife was never interested in bikes....divorced again after 5 years...no kids or child support, thankfully!! 8)

Now single...the Monster provides me with a great 1st date option.....short ride to the beach at sunset. 
Funny now, it seems most women really like the Monster!!
Then again, most women like anything "ITALIAN" [bow_down]

Just don't help with the house work.

http://www.thespec.com/news/world/article/810746--the-more-you-share-housework-the-more-likely-you-are-to-divorce-study (http://www.thespec.com/news/world/article/810746--the-more-you-share-housework-the-more-likely-you-are-to-divorce-study)

My wife rides her own bike and has been doing so for about 10 years now.  She almost always ride in front and sets the tempo.  It is not as fast or as aggressive as I would go, and sometimes frustrates me, but it keeps things safe.  She really likes long and extended bike/camping trips and I do too.  When doing multi-day adventure touring we are a great team.  She picks the routes, where to camp, and when to stop and I get to maintain the bikes and set up the tent [laugh] [laugh]

Sounds like a perfect arrangement.  My wife and I work just about the same way.

PhilB

Girlfriend of 2+ years doesn't mind my motorcycle addicition, won't ride two up or get one herself, just not that type of gal. Hates driving behind me in her car, thinks i'm going to loside when i scrape the pegs... [evil] ;D

I ride with my wife sometimes problem is i have a S4 Monster and she rides a Rebel 250 , she wants an HD 883 next even though she has ridden for 18 years the problem is most bikes ar too tall for her she is only 4'9'' so chopper styles are best for her .

we have a lot of fun .

get her a Buell Blast with a turbo kit....I was amazed when 1 flew by me on the Jersey Turnpike...

GF got a Honda Shadow 125 when we started dating (going out in UK speak) when I had a 996 which made ride outs interesting. I actually took her out on an early date on the 996 and nearly took one of her knees off over taking a caravan too close, followed by a cheeky 130 back home.....

Now she has a speed triple which spends more time gathering dust that bugs but thats down to rennovating our house leaving little time for riding.

Shortly after selling the little Honda she got an R6 which I managed to throw down the road on some black ice.......luckily it saved the 996 from the same fate ;) 

I might as well throw in my story as well.
My wife taught me to ride sometime last century. She bought me my first bike (an S2R) so she could have her 620 to herself.
She is smoother than me and on a road she knows … faster – which is obviously rather awesome but also perfectly normal. On a less known road I am probably a bit more aggressive but that doesn’t always make me faster.
I particularly get shown up when she is riding the 620 as she may be overcompensating for the lack of power … or maybe it is the sound, but she is easier to keep up with when she rides her S4Rt which she says is just effortless to ride. Generally speaking we ride at a similar pace which is fun but not stoopid … it works well. Even better I have someone on hand to sort out ‘bike stuff’ for me because I can’t tell the open end from the closed end on a spanner … and she has tiny hands which are good for cleaning and maintenance.

I also don't have the problem that I have heard on here often enough about 'getting a leave pass' or needing a secret stash of cash for aesthetically-pleasing-safety-enhancements.

So from my point of view there is no reason not to have a ‘riding’ partner. Although you have said that ego is not a problem, the fact that you ‘thought’ it 'might' be suggests that in some respects it already is.

I have the opposite problem ....I can't find a guy who rides  .   [roll] [bang]

As far as competitiveness...well ....I ride kneedown ....( all legal stuff).
I'm a very competitive and aggressive girl.  as a teenager I use to pick up fights whit guy's in high school   

 But I'm very shy up to the point that when a guy take all it's courage and decide to talk to me ....while I'm putting gas on the duc....  I look at the ground and scramble a shy response... :-\   

.....maybe...someday...I'll have a BF that...hrrmm... ride .....not just a bike    .

I guess when your a guy you should just let her lead and  enjoy the view  .   It's always fun to ride whit someone it's sharing the experience.

As a sign of solidarity boobies got my vote [thumbsup]

 ;D [thumbsup]

If someone have this problem ........you could always argue that new boobies are a aesthetically-pleasing-safety-enhancements  ;D  [laugh]

Have you NOT been reading the comments to your posts on here? There are about 20 guys who would jump all over the chance to go out with you.

Tank's    :)   but most of you guy's are in the U.S.  and I live in Canada ...it's a little bit far to go take a cup of coffee [drink]  ;) 

This section here shows that she is more experienced than you.  (translation: smarter and knows not to push it too hard in unfamiliar territory)  ;)

I'm a lady who rides. I'd love dating another rider. At least they would understand how much riding means to me.

 [laugh] Luckily I don't need to be a genius to figure that out ... so just to re-cap she is smoother, faster, more experienced and more intelligent than I am.

The only surprise is ... she is with me   8)  [drool] [bow_down]

I have heard from a number of experienced riders, rider-coaches, etc that girls are often smoother because it is more about finesse than strength. Smoother on the throttle, brakes and gears but also moving around on the bike. But hey I'm just a boofy, uncoordinated bloke and I came to terms with that a long time ago [laugh]. If the OP can come to terms with that (if his experience proves similar - or the opposite) then there should be plenty of good times  [thumbsup]

Did not read all replies yet, so maybe this was already pointed out...

Are poll answers 1 and 4 not the same?  ;D

I've been dating my girl for ~ 6 years now.
She started riding in '05, after picking up a brand new Ninja 250, and joining the Ninja 250 forum where I'm an admin.

Oddly enough, she joined the forum because her bike was having issues caused by all the local dealers in the Loveland/Forth Collins area of Colorado while I still lived in NYC.

After I moved out to Denver on a surprise job/life change event, she brought her bike over to my place to have someone who actually knows about the bike work on it, and get it running right.
Needless to say, the bike never ran better after I was done with it, and things eventually started up between us a while later.

We've gone on group rides, track days, and solo sessions just the two of us blasting around together countless times over the past 6 years.
Nothing more fun than that.

There is a negative side.

On Aug 26th, 2007, some idiot on a motard was going the opposite direction on a local twisty mountain road (Squaw Pass, for all you locals), and he blew his corner, nearly hit me, stopped in our lane right after I passed by, and caused her to go down hard to avoid t-boning him. He then buggered off up the road never to be seen again before I was even able to come to a full stop, and turn around. Her Ninja was banged up (eventually declared a total loss by the insurance), but her left knee took the brunt of the damage.

Her recovery period was long and hard for her, as she has a huge pride, and she never truly recovered her desire to ride after the accident.
We picked her up a '97 M750 first, and then several months later her '09 696, but her desire to ride waned pretty bad between '07 and now.
She has since sold both bikes.

Its great having a riding partner that you love, but its just as hard seeing them get hurt, and losing that love that they had, due to no fault of their own.

She's since picked up a sports car addiction, so it isn't all bad, to be perfectly honest, but I miss those days of riding with her on her 696 up in the hills pretty bad.

BC.

I live in a small town in Wisconsin.  I've only ever even MET one woman who owned a bike, and she was 10 years older than me.