Ducati Monster Forum

... I have an aunt that's 3 years older than me. Her heart has failed. She's decided to go out on the day she came in. 

How the make the beast with two backs do you make that decision?

I struggle with the concept.

For the record this is going to happen on November 6rh.

Freaks me right the make the beast with two backs out.

I like the idea of picking our death date. I want to go out on my terms and while I can still make a decision.



 

My aunt's husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's. He was the definition of fit and active, even in his late 70's when he was diagnosed.

He refused to let it claim him, and (with my aunt's blessing) ended his life as soon as the disease started to interfere with how he wanted to live.

I have always thought that he was very brave for making that choice, rather than holding on too long. 

I don't know if this will help, but here goes:  My friend's grandmother had a stroke she was 90 something, but before that was in really good health and was always helping fellow seniors at the facility she lived in.  He visited her he found out all she was eating was one grapefruit a day because she really liked grapefruit, but her intent was to die from malnutrition.  He learned to accept her decision. 

My father had a serious stroke, no brain activity.  My mother hid his DNR, so he spent five days on life support.  I understood and didn't blame her, but it certainly was a bad decision.

A while after my dad's passing, my mom told me that both of them have/had DNRs. 

I didn't know that they did.

My mom was upset that it wasn't honored for my dad - he had gone into cardiac arrest and several attempts at revival occurred.

We're all compassionate when someone euthanizes a beloved pet. 

I know it isn't remotely the same.

Just adding to the convo.

I hope.

Life is weird.

I really enjoyed the movie Brand New Testament.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brand_New_Testament

I've been periodically looking into the same choice as your aunt for if/when the day comes that I do want that option and I'm so grateful legislation here is moving/has moved in that direction (even with ridiculous restrictions).

My heart hurts for your anticipatory grief, Nate.   

+1

However, the stories shared here certainly are that of the empowered.  I mean, what a fabulous luxury to have that choice.  I'll certainly make the same choice if I'm presented with the option.... 

Really have no idea what to say ... I wished I had that power and choice.

You know we are all here so, you are a text away for help

Well...today is the day.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon. She's very comfortable with the pharmacy that will be involved, and she's ready.

We have a lot of history. We were more like brother and sister. Her siblings are all girls, and mine all boys.

We shared some great times, and one horrific one. I'm gonna miss her

Hug to you Nate from afar. 

Hugs Nate.

Oh man.  Our thoughts are for you Nate.

Tough day.  My thoughts are with you.

From the distance, a hug Nate

Hugs Nate, from Portugal

.. and Norway.

I spoke to her sister/ my aunt earlier...the lone survivor.

It's all good. I thought I might get visited on her way by...it happened to me when my dad died, but not the case today.

Thanks everyone for your support.

Hugs, Nate.

I've been a little choked up with this one over here since you originally posted and wasn't sure how to respond. But there it is. Been having thoughts about my own mortality lately due to recent developments, and if it comes to it I'd like to have the choice your aunt did.

Dave,

Hope things aren't too severe for you. I'll be fine. Spoke to her husband tonight, and it appears everyone is at peace.

Life is what it is, and then you die.

No one gets out alive.

My thoughts are with you Dave.

I have no words that will help I fear, but i hope you know you are in my (and i assume a large percentage of the hive's) thoughts.

I hope you and your family can find peace in these tough times.

I hope you are doing ok, Nate. Here is an article from the Times that made me think of this thread.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/17/nyregion/pat-koch-thaler-dead.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ak4.Ih4y.-AhUtoI_AKTn

Thanks for that, Mary.

That's exactly how Nattie felt. (we're both named after the same person) She watched so many people fight, and suffer in that fight, only to die in agony. She decided to skip the agony of the fight. She was tired...tired of the pain...tired of the lack of quality of life.

I've come to terms with her decision. Still, I don't think I could make it. I have a son that needs me. As long as I'm lucid, able to advocate for him, and I'm not a financial burden on my family, I'll fight the fight.

All in a lifetime. ;)

I just caught this thread so I'm late to the party.  I'm sorry for your loss.

Being able to go out on your own terms is somewhat of a foreign concept when it comes to people as compared to animals.  I've long felt that option should be available to people that want and need it.

Doesn't make it easier for the rest of us though, at least not completely.

Hugs. 

Nate, sorry for the loss of your aunt.  This is a hard decision for anyone to make.