Ducati Monster Forum

Go to Google. Type in "French military victories." Click "I'm feeling lucky."

You will be given an "alternate" suggestion. [laugh] This is where the humor begins! The chronological listing, and accompanying information is a hoot!!

OMG - so hilarious  ;D  ;D  ;D

I'm ordering one of these for the next time I go to Europe...

(http://i309.photobucket.com/albums/kk382/purplelola79/jitcrunch.jpg)

Or one of these...

(http://i309.photobucket.com/albums/kk382/purplelola79/jitcrunchb.jpg)

That'll get me some free French spit, baguettes to the head and who knows what else.

As a half-frenchie I should be offended, but really the jokes are pretty funny too.

 

Er, I didn't go to feeling lucky. The reg google gave me a different alternative.

Ireland declares war on France

Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ye!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor," answers Paddy.

Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boyos from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few jars of Guinness, and decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners!"

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [beer] [beer] [beer]

the irish in me says i have to buy you a pint.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!  [laugh]  [laugh]  [laugh]  [laugh]

2 funny!

 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] That's really old, but I'd never bothered reading it until now.  I do appreciate good writing.

This all goes to show we really do love the french enough to take the piss out of them.
Why?
I offer this adage:

"In heaven,
the cooks are French,
the police are English,
the mechanics are German,
the lovers are Italian,
and everything is organized by the Swiss.

In hell,
the cooks are English,
the police are German,
the mechanics are French,
the lovers are Swiss,
and everything is organized by the Italians."

I'm French  :(

[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

Everyone has their place in life where they fit best.

Can you cook?  [laugh]

No  ;D ;D