Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: Dragsterhund on July 30, 2008, 09:04:03 PM

Title: Best crime ideas
Post by: Dragsterhund on July 30, 2008, 09:04:03 PM
We've all had great crime ideas... you know, when you look at a situation and think.. man... someone should do such and such.

Like today. I was standing in the mens room at a bar and was thinking... someone could come in here and steal my wallet and run away... can't stop peeing mid-stream, they'd be out of the bar and down the street before I was done.

Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Monsterlover on July 30, 2008, 09:10:42 PM
How can you not stop peeing mid-stream?

I can say for sure there'd be some serious trouble if someone tried to grab my wallet in the men's room.  Id shut it down (yes, even mid stream) give 'em a couple shots to the face and then Id finish peeing on them while they rolled on the floor trying to figure out what just happened.

That being said, I'm fairly certain I could get away with killing someone.  Though, no reason to try has come up yet.
[popcorn]
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on July 30, 2008, 09:30:40 PM
You people are talking about

1) taking advantage of the situation and
2) stopping peeing in mid stream while a felon is trying to take your wallet.



Why on earth wouldn't you just turn and take a leak on the guy? If nothing else, he'd be easier to identify "it was a guy in a black shirt, who smells like pee, officer".
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: hbliam on July 30, 2008, 09:41:37 PM
I've always wondered why drug runners don't just hide dope in a large sailboat keel. Pull it out of the water in Mex, remove keel, insert dope, replace and re-fiberglass keel. How's the CG gonna search that?
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on July 30, 2008, 09:43:10 PM
Quote from: hbliam on July 30, 2008, 09:41:37 PM
I've always wondered why drug runners don't just hide dope in a large sailboat keel. Pull it out of the water in Mex, remove keel, insert dope, replace and re-fiberglass keel. How's the CG gonna search that?

Probably too slow for their tastes. That and those keels are sort of necessary on a blowboat-it'd take some serious modification to work right.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: hbliam on July 30, 2008, 09:48:21 PM
Quote from: someguy on July 30, 2008, 09:43:10 PM
Probably too slow for their tastes. That and those keels are sort of necessary on a blowboat-it'd take some serious modification to work right.

I don't mean remove the all the lead, just some of it. And what's a few days on the Ocean vs. being chased by a CG cutter and copters? Mex to Central Cal is a just a few days.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: BWClark on July 31, 2008, 04:15:07 AM
Quote from: hbliam on July 30, 2008, 09:41:37 PM
I've always wondered why drug runners don't just hide dope in a large sailboat keel. Pull it out of the water in Mex, remove keel, insert dope, replace and re-fiberglass keel. How's the CG gonna search that?

That's a good idea (if you're a drug runner). Get one of those older open-sea cruisers with a big fat keel that runs the length of the boat. You could pack a lot of dope in there, and I'm sure you could still leave plenty of lead for stability for the short trip. Just don't hit any bad weather and you'll be fine... 

Now if it weren't for my darned ethics, distaste for drugs and breaking the law, and my aversion to risk.   [thumbsup]

Edit: On the smuggling note: I've always thought a few sheets of LSD smuggled here into New Zealand would be very profitable. What does it sell for in the US? A few bucks a tab? Here it would sell for upwards of $50/tab. Print a couple documents on a couple sheets and you'd make some good money with "fairly" low risk. Everyones worried about meth and stuff here.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Monsterlover on July 31, 2008, 04:52:20 AM
Quote from: someguy on July 30, 2008, 09:30:40 PM
Why on earth wouldn't you just turn and take a leak on the guy? If nothing else, he'd be easier to identify "it was a guy in a black shirt, who smells like pee, officer".

Here's why:  If you're taking a piss and I steel your wallet, then you turn to pee on me, Im not going to stand there and let you pee on me.  I'm going to run the instant I get your wallet into my hand  [laugh]
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: herm on July 31, 2008, 05:05:41 AM
if i tell you my idea, then its not a secret anymore
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: 38 OFF on July 31, 2008, 08:22:30 AM
One of the places I visit is the Fed. deposit bank for the area.

Every week on a certain day they receive their big deposit.

Because of my job I can ride their elevator. One day on the aforementioned day I was waiting
for the elevator, the door opened, and there was the elevator car full of cash, literally full, with
one guard.

Since the elevator door is literally six feet from where I park:

Ever since that day I've always wondered, hmm, so easy to take him out and boogie with a truck
full of dineros.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Triple J on July 31, 2008, 08:29:33 AM
Quote from: hbliam on July 30, 2008, 09:41:37 PM
I've always wondered why drug runners don't just hide dope in a large sailboat keel. Pull it out of the water in Mex, remove keel, insert dope, replace and re-fiberglass keel. How's the CG gonna search that?

Good idea, but seems it would require a dry dock to hide/recover the drugs.  Not a problem in the country of origin location, but could be in the US.

That said, how about permanently modifying the keel with a watertight door.  Stuff all the drugs in before you leave in watertight bags.  Have divers remove it at night when you get to the US.  Still may be hard to do without raising any suspicions though. ???
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 08:52:32 AM


Here's any easy crime to get away with: spousal abuse. Just find a girl with some self esteem issues who grew up in a chaotic household (bonus points if she was abused/neglected growing up) and be sweet to her for about a year. Then slowly but surely start beating the crap out of her. You can get away with felony assault over and over and over again. Between ineffectual enforcement, woefully leinient penalties and the shame most battered women feel for being in that position in the first place will ensure that even if you are caught in the act the chances of you actually being punished are really slim. Happens all the time. You may need to be wealthy to pull off a zillion stock fraud, or broke and desparate to rob a liquor store, but beating your wife is something everyone can do, regardless of their socio-economic status can do.  [thumbsup]

:-\

Quote from: Monsterlover on July 30, 2008, 09:10:42 PM

That being said, I'm fairly certain I could get away with killing someone.  Though, no reason to try has come up yet.
[popcorn]

Want a list of people who deserve to die? I know several truly evil people that this planet would be better off without.

sac
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Grampa on July 31, 2008, 08:55:35 AM
I run cash to the corp office every other day....sometimes lots. I'm unarmed. (other than my arms)

I'm suprised, nobody in the hood has figured that out yet. 


here..... take my truck too...it's insured.   [laugh]
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: ryandalling on July 31, 2008, 08:56:30 AM
I was looking at this really cool ball point pen at the bank... and nobody was looking... I thought about just sneaking it into my pocket. So easy... but I get caught for everything. So I decided not to.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Grampa on July 31, 2008, 09:00:32 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 08:52:32 AM




Want a list of people who deserve to die? I know several truly evil people that this planet would be better off without.

sac

I know one.... and she may be a minimum wage state employee now  [laugh]
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Mother on July 31, 2008, 09:09:58 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on July 31, 2008, 08:52:32 AM
Want a list of people who deserve to die? I know several truly evil people that this planet would be better off without.

sac

is that the beginning of the list?
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: Pakhan on July 31, 2008, 09:18:36 AM
Advertise a way for people to make money sitting at home, they just need to send you $20 for information that could make them thousands of dollars a month. 

When you get your $20 you send instructions to them to advertise a way for people to make money sitting at home and instruct people to send you $20 for information that could make them thousands of dollars a month.  :P

Tell a bunch of people that your imaginary friend loves them all, is always watching, will bring you to a better place after you die, and needs you to give me money.  Oh wait, that's not a crime it's religion.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: lauramonster on July 31, 2008, 10:16:22 AM
Quote from: ryandalling on July 31, 2008, 08:56:30 AM
I was looking at this really cool ball point pen at the bank... and nobody was looking... I thought about just sneaking it into my pocket. So easy... but I get caught for everything. So I decided not to.

[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: hbliam on July 31, 2008, 11:19:41 AM
Quote from: Pakhan on July 31, 2008, 09:18:36 AM
Advertise a way for people to make money sitting at home, they just need to send you $20 for information that could make them thousands of dollars a month. 
When you get your $20 you send instructions to them to advertise a way for people to make money sitting at home and instruct people to send you $20 for information that could make them thousands of dollars a month.  :P
Tell a bunch of people that your imaginary friend loves them all, is always watching, will bring you to a better place after you die, and needs you to give me money.  Oh wait, that's not a crime it's religion.

I took a report a couple days ago. "Victim" signs up on the net to be a secret shopper. Two companies send her stuff in the mail a few days later. They send: a letter that sounds kind of official, an evaluation form, and a check made out to her. One for $4800, one for $2700. The money is supposed to be: her salary (about $400), and the rest she is supposed to send to them via western union. This is supposed to be a test of the customer service of western union.

I think the way it's suppoosed to work is she deposits the checks and then sends them the dough and then gets charged back by her bank. She's "smart" though. She deposits the checks and waits. Then notices they have taken money from her account. It seems they gained her bank account number from the canceled bad check. She only lost a few hundred luckily.

My question for her was, "Did you think it was odd that someone sent you almost $8,000 for work you had not done yet?" She didn't have a response.
Title: Re: Best crime ideas
Post by: VisceralReaction on July 31, 2008, 11:53:35 AM
My wife was a bookkeeper for a large grocery store here. She would daily deposit, by herself, about $250K in cash and the rest in checks.
She would turn around at the bank with a large sum of cash for all the tills to be able to make change. All you would need to do with her was to walk up and tell her to hand over the cash. I was very tempted.