Ducati Monster Forum

As some of my friends here know, I had to sell my Monster last month for a number of valid reasons. 

I don't miss the Monster, but I do miss riding.

However, now that I am bikeless for a few months, I thought I'd hash out publicly my thoughts about what this means to me as a rider and my development.

My last ride wasn't that good.  I had rented a 2007 CBR 600RR to see what it would be like to finally ride a sportbike.  The Saturday evening I picked it up was blissful... so easy to ride, so easy to ride well, so forgiving, so comfortable on the highway.  I really enjoyed it.  I "got it" shall we say, "got" why people ride sportbikes.  A sportbike is SO my next bike.  I already posted yesterday as to why:

http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=9406.msg158708#msg158708

The Sunday ride (which was the NYMMC forum's first formal get-together of the year) had a post-meet ride of 12 people - at least 5 more than usual for my friends and I (we all have the same avatars) - and it wasn't fun for me.  I wasn't able to keep up on any stint, I had a headache, I had thoughts of what would happen to my deposit if I crashed the bike, and I kept having bad thoughts - both about riding and about my life in general.  My head was not in the game 100%, and thus I had a lot of fear, which in turn affected my ability to focus on riding.

Let me address my description of "keeping up."  I keep up where I can, but my crew will wait for anyone at the next turn.  They have to wait for me on a lot of turns, but if gives them the break they need for the next 20 mile twisty bit.  I feel ZERO pressure to keep up.  I ride my own ride.

With the Monster, on average I rode at probably 65% of my skill level, and maybe 70% of the Monster's ability.  On one or two rides, I may have come close to 80% of my skill and 80% of the Monster's ability.  I know I need to do something drastically different in order to enhance my skills, because doing it on a ride is not the place - IMHO.  I had a BIG crash in April - two weeks before I was to take the Lee Parks Total Control Class.  No bike, no class (and no refunds... :'()  That crash took out a big chunk of confidence that I am still struggling to get back.

What I call my "newbie fear" then takes over.

When that fear sets it - I slow WAY down before every turn, especially blind turns even if I hold people back a bit.  I know I have a major issue with turning because far too often I would imagine the crash if I messed it up, and imagined the absolute magnitude of the crash - EVEN AS I executed the turn properly.

I never really got comfortable leaning the Monster over.  It was lack of both knowledge and trust in my abilities and the bikes abilities that hampered my development and created a sense of permanent fear whenever I rode. "Newbie fear."

I picked up riding 2 years ago, and now at 38, severely overweight, divorced and the father of two, my perspective on riding is different than many people's.  I love to ride well, but with the limited schedule I got to ride this year, each ride was 1/2 warm up - 1/2 enjoyment.  I would go 3 weeks without riding, then riding 400 miles on a Sunday.  Most of those miles in the twisties.  However, nothing consistent.

I got into this sport because it truly allowed me to relax.  I had to focus on nothing else BUT riding, and the rest of my worries would go away.  While my divorce has been final over a year, and it's been two years since I moved out of the house, I'm JUST beginning to become myself again.

I've told my Usual Suspect friends about my need to have my head in the game for a ride, and they have been insanely supportive of me and my issues.  The perfect storm of my life hit this summer where I hit rock bottom physically (my weight), financially (thus the sale of the Monster) and emotionally (inability to clear my head on rides).

I'm taking this time to truly focus on getting some big changes in my life enacted.  It's already started and I'm starting to see the results.  (I won't say what they are as they're a bit too revealing even for this thread 8)).  I have a plan of action, a checklist - if you will - of things I need to do for the rest of this year. 

What's fascinating to me is this - Sunday the 10th was not fun for me as a rider and I was happy to be done with the ride.  36 hours later - I'm back on this forum, I'm back researching "the next bike" and telling the guys, from whom I rented the CBR, that I'd be back soon! ;D 

I NEED to do a track day.  I NEED to do a Lee Parks class (or something similar).

When I focus on doing something well, I tend to get pretty damned good at it (my skills as a photographer, for example) but I never got the chance in the 18 months I owned the Monster, to really, truly, deeply focus on riding.  I'm short-changing myself and my riding buddies by not becoming a better rider.

It feels a little silly posting on a motorcycle forum and not owning a bike, but I'll adapt.

Why did I post this?

Two reasons - 1 - Catharsis, 2 - Maybe someone else will read something that makes sense to them.  Maybe their head isn't 100% in the sport.  Maybe they want to take a break, too.

I hate when life gets in the way of my life. [drink]

Good luck to you...with everything.  Sometimes it is good to take a break and get some perspective on things. :)

if you let the fear take you over then stop riding. if you can manage your fear then get another bike and learn to push it aside.

the fear will keep you safe by being that little voice int he back of your head telling you to slow down or keep you on the lookout for what might be coming from other directions.

the fear will also cripple you and can cause you to freeze up at the wrong time. it will take time to get your confidence back, so don't get discouraged.

If it's not fun, it's not fun.   Hopefully nobody here will push too hard.

There are of course lots of ways to make it fun again if you want to...you mentioned the first one...track school.  You mentioned another...riding sportbikes is more fun when you're in shape.

How about setting a health goal and rewarding yourself with a track school when you hit it?

Good luck with it.  Hope you stick around here if it helps with the occassional bike 'fix'

And, conversely, if the fear dissappears all together then it's not a good idea to keep going either. A certain amount of fear is what keeps you in check, alert, and able to make good decisions. Fearlessness can often lead to carelessness, which can often lead to "life-lessness".

To the OP: Nothin' wrong with taking a break man... Sometimes if you dive back into something after a break, it can be more rewarding than when you first got into it, you know??

-Good Luck!!  :)

Ah, good for you!  I think that the key to making changes (like getting more fit) is most often in the underlying motivation.  If you associate being more fit with being a better rider, say with cornering better, then it'll be that much easier to drag yourself to the gym when you otherwise wouldn't want to.  Recognize this, and use it to your advantage.

Also realize that, while it may be a lot of work, it's totally doable, and not so hard if you take tiny steps and just...don't...stop....

Good call Tommy.

and have lots of small goals when it comes to personal fitness, I find that having huge expectations is the most demoralising aspect to people working out.

It took YEARS to get OUT of shape (or into your current shape), you cannot reverse it in weeks/months....but you can reverse it!

A trap I see is people that mistreat their bodies for a decade then come into the gym and expect to fix it back up with 6 weeks! It's unrealistic - and the sad part is that those people make amazing gains - it's just that after 3 months they become de-motivated because they don't have a six pack! I'm always trying to give people positive feedback - they might not have the best body but it's so much better than what they had 3 months ago!

small steps! big progress!

best of luck and good on you for doing your list!

I actually lost weight to improve my riding skills and am a much better rider for it. Like someone stated before keep the goals realistic and attainable. I ride a bicycle 4-5 days a week soley for exercise.