Ducati Monster Forum

All right, I'm sick of it! I am ready to fly the obligatory Ducati monster "bird" at anyone who tells me to be careful one more time when I go riding on my motorcycle. Parents, siblings, and now coworkers! I think what gets me the most is that I know and watch them all cheer on the men in their escapades on motorcycles- when it comes to me they seem to clam up and go all 1950's Donna Reed. What is the deal?

Somehow because you are male doesn't inherently mean you are a safer rider!!!! So I guess my question is this: how have the monster women dealt with this? I am trying to ignore them... The more I do the more they scream... Ignore louder? Explaining my choice doesn't seem to make it better. More finger signage?   ;D

First of all, your avatar is awesome – love Wallace and Gromit!   [thumbsup]

As far as the "be careful" comments.  I really don't have any good ones but I know I say it when my s/o goes off on one of his bikes.  Even though I know he'll be careful, it's more of a general "see you when you get back, have fun, be safe, tell everyone hi..."

But I know what you're saying.  I have one friend who badgers me a little about being safe but she used to work on bikers who came into the ER so I'll let her get away with it.  Fortunately, anyone else who tells me to "be careful" I haven't interpreted or gotten the feeling that they think I'm a weak girl.

A few responses off the top of my head:

- And you be careful too! (with a smile). And then insert one of the following: walking across the street, through the wal-greens parking lot, walking in socks on a wood floor, putting hot pizza in your mouth, taking a 3rd serving of cake away from a 3 year old...  You get the idea - inherent dangers with everything we do.  Just dumb it down a little as needed.

Or:

- Give them a puzzled look and say "whuuht?"  Make them explain and then you can defer to the above.


Sorry that's all I have for now.

Be safe out there!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.    [evil]

Personally, I don't mind the "ride safe" and "be careful"s. It is more dangerous than taking the bus, after all. I tell my bf to ride safe every time. (... He rides his motorcycle, you with the dirty mind. [cheeky])

I'd suggest that instead of arguing (or "explaining") with those who so clearly care about your well-being you simply smile, say "thank you" and "I always do" and ride off knowing how much more fun you are having.

Give the well-wishers time to adjust to the apparently unfamiliar sight of a gal on two wheels (it's taken my dad years).

And save the wheelies for when they're not looking.  ;)

Re:avatar:

Is that Wensleydale?

 [laugh] [bow_down]

I must go eat some cheeeese now.

 ;D

politely inform them of the fact that you'll be as safe as you can and that you watch out for the other idiots on the roadways who drive their SUV's while they talk on their cellphones oblivious to everyone and everything around them(in case they do it and then they get a small hint of guilt) and then follow it up by saying that statistics state that more people die in their bathrooms every year than on motorcycles....

I know most of the people that have said it to me are doing so out of concern for me as a person, concern for me as a single mother (because my daughter would end up living with an a**hole of a father), etc.  I haven't had an opportunity where it was said in anything other than a positive manner.

I love Stella's responses FWIW

BE CAREFUL!!   ;)

I get the same thing, but I'm sure they don't mean you're a less safer rider than a guy.  I say it to my husband when he rides his motorcycle and also to his friends.  I agree with Stella's response as "it's more of a general 'see you when you get back, have fun, be safe..."  Have a good ride!

Unfortunately, some people just like to nag. :P

You can respond to it, which will encourage the nagging to continue, or you can basically ignore it.

It's hard to argue back effectively as motorcycling is risky.  However, so are many other things that people do.

My standard reply is "Careful isnt Fun"!

Maybe they really are doing this less with guys.

However, I'm a guy and get this CONSTANTLY. The other day my colleague berated me and said she couldn't believe I wasn't wearing a helmet. I just told her I understood her point but felt silly wearing a helmet in my car (since I'd driven that day). People can't help themselves when it comes to doling out advice on how others should live their lives. Just ignore them. (AUGH! I just did it to you! See, people just can't stop giving out gratuitous advice!)

Ok, glad it isn't just women who get the lame ass "be careful" lecture or silent treatment!

Still doesn't make it better. Riding is more dangerous, sure, but nagging doesn't make it safer! It is certainly more fun than sitting at home in a glass box!

Yes and lots of cheese! Makes the world better! That and riding my monster...

Ive been riding for a few years now, so the family and coworkers all know I ride and dont say too much anymore.  My mom of course always tells me her latest "so and so's cousin's son's etc. was killed on a motorcycle" story, to which I always ask my standard questions: do you know what happened, were they speeding, wearing a helmet, wearing full gear?  She never has any details, just that someone was killed on a motorcycle and so logically I am also destined to die.  I just reassure her that I am very careful and always wear full gear.

I get more comments from complete strangers.  Some about me, some about the bike.  Some of my favorites: "Ducati...who makes that?"; "Italians cant/dont make motorcycles."; "You dont ride a scooter?!"; "I thought that looked like a GIRL'S bike" (from a Harley guy); "That thing probably doesnt go very fast" (cause girls cant ride fast bikes?  dunno); "How do you get on that thing/I just want to see you get on it" (I'm 5'1"); and "You dont look like someone who would ride"

I just smile and keep walking.  Its not really worth talking to them.

That's funny because people also say to me "you don't look like someone who would ride a motorcycle". I wonder what that looks like???? ;D

 [laugh]

I get that too!  Let me know when you find out!!  ;D

This is the same stuff I get from complete strangers more than family and friends.

The best one was my friend's next door neighbor said "wow, that's a nice bike, but not for someone like you." You are too cute to be riding a motorcycle and it is too dangerous" He was an older guy who also had a story that someone he knows was killed while riding a bike. He proceeded to badger me until I was red in the face fuming.  I had to walk away because anything I said didn't change the fact that his friend died on a bike.

I have found it is the best advice to just walk away in the first place before they have a change to dig into you. Also, if someone does say something don't let it get to you. F*ck em!

completely agree with y'all...

i have always had some support riding and friends would say "be careful" in a friendly non badgering way...

but i do have to say, the shitty thing that happened was when i got into my accident (mind u it wasnt my fault some lady wasnt paying attention and turned in front of me) and when i went to the ER  and told them it was a M/C accident they all ssumed it was my fault...Dusty was there. then a month later i was still having bad pain and went to another doc ( couldnt get my PC doc) and this doc was dick and just ranting about how bad bikes are  >:( i just got my pain script and left....

more then people nagging i hate is when people just assume ur always at fault  [bang]

"" I don't mind the "ride safe" and "be careful"s. It is more dangerous than taking the bus, after all.""
You have obviously never seen me drive a bus............ [laugh]
I make doing the dishes look more dangerous than riding motorcycles.........just ask my friends!

You are a funny one.    ;D

After reading the posts to do with people deciding that bikes are bad after someone has had a friend die on one thought that i would share my story.  When I was around 8 years old, there were friends of my older sister and brothers (they are all 7 or more years older than me) the two guys shared a house up the road and they rode bikes, both worked away then one weekend when they were coming home due to one of the guys deciding to propose to his girlfriend decided that they would come home in the "safer" form of transport the van, sadly they did not make it home.  For me the one thing that it taught me was that there is no need to put yourself in danger deliberately but you will not stop fate.  So for me all those that know me well (so being the ones to care about) they know that I live life to have fun and that is what I do.  Life is good!

PS: hope that no one is too upset by this post if so just ask and I will happily remove.

Happy rides

Nic

Even though it is a sad story, I think it is a good post and I agree.
Ducgirl

Staggering Story. Nice perspectives!

Long story short: I got over it. And ride I do safely and with grace as often as possible. It is nice to know that there are people around me that care!

Still love taking the helmet off and getting the "Holy S..." looks.
It is great! Most of them don't know what they are missing!

Thanks, I am a very happy biker chic [moto] and could not think of getting any other bike than my monster.  I know that i do not post very often but thanks to all who do it is great to read lots of people stories and views on stuff and the encouragement given to people is awesome!

Summer has come early to us here in Tasmania (do not worry we could still have snow anytime) and it has been nice to get out with less layers on.

Happy rides
Nic

well - just tell 'em to just shut their pieholes - that's what I do.... sorry to anyone who's offended by piehole :)

I prefer cakehole.  But I am not a fan of pie.

judging by the size of my hips I am obviously a fan of both pie and cake! [laugh]

Hi ladies, a few to add.

This past weekend at the International Motorcycle Show
Old man looking at my 998:  "They let you ride that?"
Me:  "Yup, they let me vote too."  with a wink and a smile.

At WSBK race at Miller
Man with his wife after telling me that "No woman of mine will ever ride a motorcycle!!"  and a quick shocked "You've been riding THAT??"
Me:  "Yup, I've even been wearing shoes for YEARS" again, with wink and a smile.

I try to offset by telling my best friends and family to "Drive fast, take chances!!"  And, usually loud enough for most to hear with a cheery offset and laugh. 

On the subject of temperature and gear... "Aren't you HOT in that?"  can be quickly followed by "I was HOT before I put it on, and I'd like to stay that way..."  Added wink and smile will only add to the coy fun of it.  I try VERY hard to not be offended by most anything anyone says.  There was once upon a time when I first started riding some 20 years ago when it wasn't an idea for most women to ride.  Not a good or bad idea - just not even an idea, it hadn't occurred to most to pilot their own.  So, I'll be happy to smile my way through the education process.  It's only offensive if you make it so...

well said!

I have never ridden on the back,never will.

I am my own girl,I make my own life and am happy to see that you do to! [clap]

 ;D nice to meet you ladies

I'm 5'2. I unfortunately will therefore always be *cute.* Didn't you know that all short people are inately afraid of big scary motorcycles!  [roll]! I am CONSTANTLY being told "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU RIDE A MOTORCYCLE!!!" When they launch into a discussion of all the friends-of-friends and distant relatives that once got into a very dangerous motorcycle accident, I just start telling them about the time I almost lost it on gravel, or I tell them about my friend-of-friends' accident's (usually the worst most graphic ones I can think of). It just lets them know that I'm AWARE of the dangers of riding, a hell of a lot more aware then they are (as most of them have never even sat on the back!). Hearing another "motorcycles are dangerous because..." lecture isn't going to make me sell my bike or take a cab home! I like to shake up people's steryotypes, it's good for them  [moto]

PS- once I went into Canadian Tire and the guy at the till spent 15 minutes looking for the bulb I wanted before coming back and timidly asking "Is it a scooter or a motorbike." Then when I told him it was a bike, he launched into a story about the time he crashed his!!!! Typical!

I wouldn't sweat it.  I'm a guy and I get that be careful stuff all the time.  Just smile and say " I'll do my best".  If anything I'd say most gals are more careful than most guys.

 [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]
very good post, all you girls rock with your bike's story.
+1 one on Ducmouse post, it's always biker'S fault...
And don't forget to be careful  ;) ;D

i don't mind the "be careful" so much...

i CANNOT stand when they start in on how someone they know ... <insert story with bad ending>

ugh! and they do it when i'm suiting up or chilling out with ride time still ahead.

but what i (too) love about being a biker chick is taking off the helmet and whipping out my lipgloss of power.  [moto]

Well its not any different in Oz.  Standing next to bike and putting helmet on, asked by boy around 10ish, are you going to ride that? Told him that  it was the general idea. He replied don't you have a husband?  Then there was the little old lady must have been pushing 90, who said good on you I hired a bike in Greece yearsx ago and to this day regret that I didn't keep it up when I got home. ;D Do what you enjoy and ignore the narowminded ones.

I've found that when my husband and I are both at the gas station filling up our bikes, people are waaaay more likely to talk to me about riding in general or questions about my bike, gear, whatever.  Oddly enough though, it's only when I'm out on my own that I get all the 'Be careful' or 'That's dangerous!' stuff. 

My favorite?  The time some grizzled old guy told my husband how lucky he was that I rode too *grin*

 [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [thumbsup]
always [moto]

I'm hearing this same stuff all the time.  Since I bought my bike, I've gotten the "be careful" along with the subtle head shakes.  I even had one guy tell me that my bike was "too fast" for me.  It's a 620...the babies of the Ducati family!  He also proceeded to tell me that I should have just bought a CB250 or something like that!
I don't know too many guys who get anything but a pat on the back when the buy the fastest thing on two wheels.

Although I'm trying to take it with a grain of salt.  I try to tell myself that it's just out of concern and not because they are doubting my ability (because I am more than able)...whether that's true or not isn't my concern. lol

But I also have many fellow riders (male and female) who tell me the opposite and look forward to getting out to ride with me...so, I'll concern myself with their opinions instead of the naysayers! :)

Really LoL!! it's happened to me once... People dont know very well Ducati. You and me and all 620 owners know we can ride more than the 620, but we like it this way.
All the honor to you WhiteKat to take it with a grain of salt.   [beer]

Hi.. you just have to "let go" and give them a big smile [roll]

Got the nagging to when I got my bike M900

My uncle took it for a ride ( probably 200mph pulling weelies on it!! >:( )
after he came back he didint want me to go back on the bike.....
usual " it's to much for you" , "your to small for that bike"  " it's not a girls bike" [bang] [bang]and the classic "get another 125cc that was OK" ( yeah ...for the first week I've ridden, 4 years ago!!)

OK I don't mind the nagging but when I'm use to put my "kneedown" and have all my protective gears  don't tell me that I don't have the ability to ride a bike ...come on!!

+1

wow the whole thing with the uncle is crazy, I think I'd flip. Haven't had it that bad though personally, but family doesn't ride with me so they don't say anything and friends either respect it or ride with us. I get a bit of chirping at work, but they've been seeing a bigger sport machine since I started that job, so even there I don't hear it either. Only problem is I seem to end up riding with the guys, all, the, time. There's one girl I ride with, she runs a 250, that does any kind of performance riding and aside from that a "ladies night out" is allll cruisers and chill highway stuff. It's not terrible, but some days it would be sweet if I wasn't the the only girl in our mini roadracing club and wasn't the only girl showing up for more aggressive ride nights. Le sigh. Don't get me wrong, my skill level gets pushed way faster riding with the guys, and I guess as a software dev I'm used to the gender gap - but really, what gives?

For the uncle thing,  is that when my father died 12 years ago (I was like 22 years old a that time)  he was the close to me and my two brother's ....he never add children's, so he feels a responsibility to make sure where o.k.  [thumbsup]  ;)

Arggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]  [bang]

Today I've install some new clutch spring ( red...wow)   but my big brother wanted to try my bike ( He doesn't' have is driver's licence)    and he drop it !!!!!!! >:(  >:(  >:(  [bang]
I don't want anybody in my family to argue that I can't ride a bike Arggggg!!!

Now he broke my front break lever add I have to get a new one and it's an hollyday weekend here in Quebec  so the ducati dealer doesn't open till Monday and really wanted to do some riding during the weekend !!!!    :'(  :'(  :'(  :'(

 :o :o :o :o :o >:(
Family sometime is hard to deal and say no.... Saying don't touch my bike to an older brother who always felt over-protector, is a kind of crisis situtation... But the real crisis for now is you don't have your bike for the week-end...
Can you put back yourself the oem break lever...If not, other tech than Ducati can do this, maybe in page jaune can find open tech shop today maybe!!! Icchhhhhhh day after St-Jean..... ??? If you have friend little handy mecanicien it's a easy thing for someone who know.


That is a really really bad timing, yesterday & today is sad rainy weather, but tomorrow... And it's the ride #2 with Ducati montréal, rendez-vous is on St-Laurent street in front of boutique, you have to be there for 9h. Tomorrow destination is Laurentide-Outaouais.. Road 327-323 Lunch break at Namur..
If you can't come tomorrow there will be other Rendez-vs in july august and september..

i really wish you fix your break lever, and wish to meet you.
Good luck !!!

Yea !!  hits hard to no to my big brother   [roll] he always helps me whit tools how to do thing's  :-* ( he's a machinist).   

 for the break lever, it's not a problem putting it on the bike it's just that I don't have one and all the shop's are close today so nobody is open till Monday  :'(   I really wanted my bike because it's my week's vacation.
  [bang]
 I fond a lever on eBay but i wont have it before Wensday.  I'll pass by the ducati dealer on Monday to see if I can fix it .   As for the ride it would be fun  :) [Dolph]  maybe in august, I'm supposed to have another week of vacation.  I knew that there's was rides by Ducati Montreal ( i think) but i never pay attention to it ....probably because i don't know anybody there.... i would be the only girl among men in their late 40' lol   [cheeky]  ;)

If you come we will be two girls! [thumbsup] [Dolph] It's a sympatic group, all ages but  you're right many of them are late 40' :D. No many girls :-\ ... Counting myself, 2 till 3 sometimes with their own bike. Last august we were about 40 bikes throught Canton de l'est road, so fun to ear the sound of a bunch of Duc!
I'm sur on monday you'll find lever at the shop.

Have nice week's vacation.

It's my vacation time too. I quite  monday for Maine east coast moto road trip, alone, i'm so excited. Yaahhhooooo! [Dolph]

+1

I get that a lot too.   [cheeky]

I get this response sometimes when I mention to someone that I own and shoot a lot of firearms.  And it's usually a female with the story.

Male riders get the same superficial advices, too. The dumbest one I got recently actually came from my boss: "Be careful with that thing, I need you here"  [roll]. The funny thing is almost all of these smart arse comments come from people who have never sat on a motorcycle b4.

I find the responses I get come from two main viewpoints.

One is the "you're crazy riding" which I believe comes from either a position of fear or jealousy. They're jealous because they're afraid to take a risk of any kind and jealous because you have no such restriction or because someone they love has control over their choices. All sad situations.

The other type is genuine concern for your safety from those who love you. I don't really mind this much. It's nice to know people care.

I'm a bloke btw, whose colleagues are 90% women!

I work downtown in a city notorious for bad traffic and mostly people tell me they can't believe I'd ride my bike in it. Also, coworkers like to tell me about motorcycles seen on their commute riding poorly (in their opinion) in a passively-challenging way.  At 5'10" I've never gotten the "too big for you" remarks, but some people have expressed that a Ducati, even a Monster 695, isn't what they'd expect a woman motorcyclist to choose as a vehicle.

My favorite remark of all time is when someone looked at our gear and asked if we were going snowmobiling--in summertime.  [laugh]