morning

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Three handsome male dogs were  walking down the street when they saw a beautiful, enticing female poodle. They fell all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but ended up arriving in front of her all at the same time.

The males were speechless before her beauty, hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decided to be kind and told  them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black Lab spoke  up quickly and said, “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turned to the tall shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”

“Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurted the Golden Retriever.

“My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”

She then turned to the last of the three and said, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big on finesse, was the chihuahua.

He gave her a smile, a sly wink, turned to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and said, “Liver alone, cheese mine."

 

An old country preacher had a teenage son. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't know what he wanted to do in life, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A Bible....2. A silver dollar. 3. A bottle of whisky. 4. And a Playboy magazine. He was thinking “If he picks up the Bible, he’ll be a preacher too. If he picks up the silver dollar a banker, If the bottle of whisky a drunken bum, and the Playboy a no-good womanizer.”

The boy came in and tucked the Bible under his arm. Then took the silver dollar and put it in his pocket. He took a nip of whiskey and checked out the centerfold.

The preacher said. Oh No he’s running for Congress!

Good one, Randy.

  you guys are killin me.

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Hello ...

Felt like this week had 5 Mondays ... It is unbelievable that simple things, that have been made simpler, people still make a mess and get updset if you charge them for their mistake ...