So I just got an email from the FBI

[jimboecv]

Yikes!

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
Tel/Fax: 206-350-8270
THIS CERTIFICATE IS HIGHLY NEEDED!
Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST).
 
Dear Beneficiary,
By means of this Message, note that the sum of USD$10, 500, 000.00 US Dollars was Deposited in your name at Bank of america as the beneficiary being for your overdue contract / Inheritance/lottery payment.
 
Going by our records with this kind of payment in the past, it has always been related to Money Laundry / Terrorist Acts so we do not want you to get into any trouble with the IRS and Homeland Securities as soon as these funds reflect into your Bank Account as it is our duty to correct this problem before this fund will be credited into your personal Bank Account.
 
To this effect, We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper Verifications and prove from you to show that you are the rightful beneficiary to receive this fund because of the amount involve.
 
In this regards, you are to re-assure and prove to us that the fund you are about to receive is clean and free from illegal activities by sending to us your Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) issued by the EFCC OFICE NIGERIA to certify that the money is legitimate.
 
You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it, if you don't have it let us know so that we will direct you on how to obtain the document from the EFCC OFICE NIGERIA.
 
We await for your prompt response on this email.
WARNING: IF YOU FAIL TO PRODUCE THE ABOVE REQUIREMENT IN 72 HOURS, LEGAL ACTION WILL BE TAKEN IMMEDIATELY BY ARRESTING AND DETAINING YOU AND IF FOUND GUILTY, YOU WILL BE JAILED. AS TERRORISM, DRUG TRAFFICKING AND MONEY LAUNDERING IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN OUR COMMUNITY TODAY. THE F.B.I WILL GO TO ANY LENGTH IN TRACKING DOWN AND PERSECUTING ANY CRIMINAL WHO INDULGES IN THIS CRIMINAL ACT. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHEMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT FROM THE EFCC.
 
Yours Faithfuly.
Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III
Director Federal Bureau of Investigation

[angler]

Awesome.

At least the fibbies are being more honest - they are going to "persecute" you!  You better get that Nigerian certificate ASAP

[johnc]

how come you get all the cool emails?

Yikes!

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
Tel/Fax: 206-350-8270
THIS CERTIFICATE IS HIGHLY NEEDED!
Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST).
 
Dear Beneficiary,
By means of this Message, note that the sum of USD$10, 500, 000.00 US Dollars was Deposited in your name at Bank of america as the beneficiary being for your overdue contract / Inheritance/lottery payment.
 
Going by our records with this kind of payment in the past, it has always been related to Money Laundry / Terrorist Acts so we do not want you to get into any trouble with the IRS and Homeland Securities as soon as these funds reflect into your Bank Account as it is our duty to correct this problem before this fund will be credited into your personal Bank Account.
 
To this effect, We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper Verifications and prove from you to show that you are the rightful beneficiary to receive this fund because of the amount involve.
 
In this regards, you are to re-assure and prove to us that the fund you are about to receive is clean and free from illegal activities by sending to us your Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) issued by the EFCC OFICE NIGERIA to certify that the money is legitimate.
 
You are to forward the document to us immediately if you have it, if you don't have it let us know so that we will direct you on how to obtain the document from the EFCC OFICE NIGERIA.
 
We await for your prompt response on this email.
WARNING: IF YOU FAIL TO PRODUCE THE ABOVE REQUIREMENT IN 72 HOURS, LEGAL ACTION WILL BE TAKEN IMMEDIATELY BY ARRESTING AND DETAINING YOU AND IF FOUND GUILTY, YOU WILL BE JAILED. AS TERRORISM, DRUG TRAFFICKING AND MONEY LAUNDERING IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN OUR COMMUNITY TODAY. THE F.B.I WILL GO TO ANY LENGTH IN TRACKING DOWN AND PERSECUTING ANY CRIMINAL WHO INDULGES IN THIS CRIMINAL ACT. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHEMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT FROM THE EFCC.
 
Yours Faithfuly.
Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III
Director Federal Bureau of Investigation

[Juan]

Again, 

[Michael Moore]

Really chill of the director of the FBI to not want you to get in trouble with the IRS etc.

[jimboecv]

I know, I thought he was a dick.
Yes, Juan, my mulit-national banking contacts keep me in the loop with folks like the Bilterbergers, Free Masons and not to be forgotten, The Grange. 
I was on Job's Daughters mailing list but some how they dropped me.

[johnc]

Yes, Juan, my mulit-national banking contacts keep me in the loop with folks like the Bilterbergers, Free Masons and not to be forgotten, The Grange. 

cool ... la grange is one of my fav zz tops tunes ...

Rumour spreadin a-round in that texas town
bout that shack outside la grange
And you know what Im talkin about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
To that home out on the range.
They gotta lotta nice girls.

Have mercy.
A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.

Well, I hear its fine if you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And I hear its tight most evry night,
But now I might be mistaken.
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Have mercy.

[sroberts152]

All that with only 2 spelling mistakes?  Wow, they are getting serious.

[sroberts152]

cool ... la grange is one of my fav zz tops tunes ...

This was the song blasting when my wife and I left our wedding on a bike. 

It really shows how good this band was when they weren't being so juvenile an almost pop-ish with songs like Legs.

[johnc]

This was the song blasting when my wife and I left our wedding on a bike. 

It really shows how good this band was when they weren't being so juvenile an almost pop-ish with songs like Legs.

wurd.  jesus just left chicago is another fav early zz tops tune.

[Spidey]

Man, if you're a Nigerian scammer and you wanna stay on the downlow, using the FBI director's name is about the best move EVAH for keepin' a low profile.  I'm sure they won't take any special interest in you. 

[johnc]

Man, if you're a Nigerian scammer and you wanna stay on the downlow, using the FBI director's name is about the best move EVAH for keepin' a low profile.  I'm sure they won't take any special interest in you. 

tru dat ...  as such, i took it upon myself to contact Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III, and advised him that he should instead use the name "Spidey". 

[jimboecv]

My initial reactions was "Mr. Dick want's my bank account info" but something about he lack of black helicopters and no snipers shooting my children tipped me off to the ruse.

[MendoDave]

What? And here I thought you were going to be the richest dude in Jail.