'03 M800 Won't start.... seems electrical

[Afrosemite]

Hello all,
First post (I think) and hopefully it's a simple one.

I've got an '03 M800s IE. I took the battery out a few days ago after a ride so I could plug in to charge (trying to be proactive. . . ) I went outside and put the battery in an hour ago and couldn't get it to start. The lights were on (and bright) but I got NOTHING when hit the starter. I tried it again and it chugged a time or two but then went back to NOTHING. Now the weird thing is that the speedo won't complete its sweep. Goes to about 50mph and just pins there.
I went to an auto zone and they say the battery is good. Of course, I came back home, put the battery back, and now NOTHING works, no lights, nothing.

So, who can tell me just how bad of a day I'm having?

[ducatiz]

Sounds like a weak battery. 

I know you said autozone checked it, but they aren't equipped to test or charge motorcycle batteries.  I know of half a dozen people who had a battery checked out by them and they cooked it. 

Do you have a spare battery you can try?

[Afrosemite]

Ok, the plot thickens. . . .

By rigorously testing the fuses, by which I mean thumping the whole fuse box a couple of times. I got it to start consistently. As in, like a champ. As in, better than it usually does. The problem now is that my speedometer still doesn't do it's full swing. It goes to 50 and then stays there. Sitting there idling it's reading at 50. . . . .

My main experience with bikes before this was old Kawasakis. I can take apart a kz900 and put it back together. This whole Italian thing is a new world.

Why does my bike now believe  we are going crazy fast? I have to think this is related

[ducatiz]

my guess is that the sweep was interrupted and that messed with it

loose fuzes or bad connection meant no current

take them all out and use a pencil eraser on the connections or put new ones in just in case you have corrosion.

that sweep might be curable with a reset, but don't ask me how

[Afrosemite]

Update: The speedo will now rest at 0 but not sweep. It's dark at this point so I'm done diagnosing for the day. I'll buy some contact cleaner tomorrow and tidy things up.
It's all quite odd. . .

[battlecry]

Contact cleaner, dielectric (silicone) grease, and a couple of spare injection relays.  Check all grounds too.  When you sweep past the veneer of electronic wizardly, the gremlins are the same. 

[Afrosemite]

Well the bike now starts up and runs beautifully. Only remaining problem is that the speedometer isn't in touch with reality. It'll bounce between 40 and 100 regardless of whether I'm moving or standing still.

I didn't get a chance to clean anything yet because I got home after dark (it's the life of a high school teacher.) More as it happens.

[ducatiz]

i thought the song "Don't stand (so close to me)" was the life of a hs teacher....