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Ducati Monster Forum
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OZ monsters
(Moderator:
ungeheuer
) >
Friday Funnies??
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Topic: Friday Funnies?? (Read 195406 times)
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
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Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #195 on:
January 19, 2009, 09:39:10 PM »
Musta been a cold day.
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
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Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #196 on:
January 19, 2009, 09:46:18 PM »
Italian Tomato Garden
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
Jukie
I need a
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Posts: 7205
Paradise
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #197 on:
January 19, 2009, 09:46:43 PM »
actualy it isn't but i keep on getting ask to put this avartar back on. hhhmmm i wonder why? i hope you guys are enjoying it
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
Jukie
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Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #198 on:
January 19, 2009, 09:49:03 PM »
good one Dragn, but i didn't realised that Dock was in jail, it must have been the pot he has been smoking.
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
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Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #199 on:
January 19, 2009, 10:20:04 PM »
He's um in the "JOINT" to use a word with multiple meanings ??
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
Jukie
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Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #200 on:
January 19, 2009, 10:40:34 PM »
yes it seems that way
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
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Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #201 on:
January 21, 2009, 12:54:27 AM »
Church Organist
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted
Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she
played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled.
They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.
So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to
mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while'.
She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said....
'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol,
we will not hath a thermon tewday.'
Heh , I wonder if she wore red T shirts??
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #202 on:
January 22, 2009, 01:26:37 AM »
Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,
"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection,
I couldn't bend it, even using both hands.
By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried
really hard.
By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about twenty degrees, no
problem.
I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just
one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
Jukie
I need a
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 7205
Paradise
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #203 on:
January 22, 2009, 08:48:23 PM »
Quote from: dragonworld on January 21, 2009, 12:54:27 AM
Church Organist
There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted
Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she
played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled.
They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.
So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to
mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while'.
She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said....
'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol,
we will not hath a thermon tewday.'
Heh , I wonder if she wore red T shirts??
you really like the red t shirt don't you Dragon
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
Jukie
I need a
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 7205
Paradise
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #204 on:
January 22, 2009, 08:49:08 PM »
Quote from: dragonworld on January 22, 2009, 01:26:37 AM
Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says,
"Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection,
I couldn't bend it, even using both hands.
By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried
really hard.
By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about twenty degrees, no
problem.
I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just
one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."
so how strong are you Dragon
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #205 on:
January 22, 2009, 10:15:06 PM »
Quote from: Jukie on January 22, 2009, 08:49:08 PM
so how strong are you Dragon
I can fold mine onto a matchbox !!
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #206 on:
January 22, 2009, 10:18:07 PM »
Job Interview in Texas
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>Texas Sheriff
> >>>
> >>> A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is
> being
> >>> Interviewed.
> >>>
> >>> The Sergeant doing the interview says: 'Your qualifications
> all look
> >>> good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take
> >>> before
> >
> >>> you can be accepted.'
> >>>
> >>> Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: 'Take
> this
> >>> pistol
> >>> and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six
> Muslim
> >>> Extremists, and a rabbit.'
> >>>
> >>> 'Why the rabbit?'
> >>>
> >>> 'Great attitude,' says the Sergeant. 'When can you start?'
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
Jukie
I need a
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 7205
Paradise
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #207 on:
January 22, 2009, 10:20:20 PM »
uuummm im not sure if im impressed about your strength, or not impressed about the size
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
dragonworld.
I can make like a tripod with my.....
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 5887
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #208 on:
January 22, 2009, 10:22:08 PM »
Heh, heh, heh,
Gotta keep your imagination running.
Logged
Secret to a long relationship is........Keep the fights clean and the sex DIRTY"!
Jukie
I need a
Hero Member
Offline
Posts: 7205
Paradise
Re: Friday Funnies??
«
Reply #209 on:
January 22, 2009, 10:28:57 PM »
im sure you will need a castle to fit yours in
Logged
Before Honda CB125N
Suzuki GS125
Now. Ducati 620ie
Lambretta Li150
Ducati S4RT
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