Favorite Quotes

[c_rex]

"Aaaaauughhh!"   - Charlie Brown

[scooby]

“I never drink water because fish make the beast with two backs in it.” ~ W.C. Fields

[triangleforge]

For a while I was collecting stupid quotes, like:

"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." usu. attributed to Einstein.

and the similar "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." -- Harlan Ellison (or was that Frank Zappa?)

"Stupidity is a gift of God too, but one mustn't misuse it." Pope John Paul II

"Never attribute as malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." --Hanlon's Razor

Lots more, but those are the ones i remember at the moment...

[NeufUnSix]

"If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem" stolen from a sig line somewhere

"Whenever we engineer something to be idiot proof, someone builds a better idiot." ditto

"One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." HST

"The friendship that can cease has never been real." St Jerome

"For love of the sport." Slogan Mike Hailwood had painted on some of his race bikes.

"...kill yourself. You are better off coming back as a lobster." Part of a Lewis Black routine

Any line taken from Song of the Sausage Creature.

[jswledhed]

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

be::

RIP, Mitch, you ruled like no other.

Favorite quote:

What is best in life?

Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.

-Conan the Barbarian

[zarn02]

oh, i could go on for awhile here, but i shan't.

instead, here's just a couple:

"the basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. it is not so much a war as an endless standing in line."
- h.l. mencken

"if you understand, things are as they are. if you do not understand, things are as they are."
- gensha

"in a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only true crime is getting caught. in a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
- HST

(and of course, my sig quote...)

[kenrok1]

“I never drink water because fish make the beast with two backs in it.” ~ W.C. Fields

also one my favorites ... by several variants


"We are what we prentend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

"To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower; to hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour." - William Blake

[DCXCV]

So many...

"You're only given a little spark of madness.  You mustn't lose it." - Robin Williams

"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a crual trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it." - Calvin (Bill Watterson)

"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. " - Calvin

"Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt." - Ambrose Bierce

[El Matador]

So many...

"You're only given a little spark of madness.  You mustn't lose it." - Robin Williams

"I imagine bugs and girls have a dim perception that nature played a crual trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it." - Calvin (Bill Watterson)

"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. " - Calvin

"Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt." - Ambrose Bierce

Dude you're right on, Bill Watterson was a genius...

My favorite quote is anything taken from Calvin and Hobbes

[Buckethead]

Winston Churchill, reacting to an accusation of being drunk: "Yes. And you are ugly. And in the morning, I shall be sober."

Churchill reacting to news that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor: "We've just won the war."

"Some contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch." -W.C. Fields

"I sat next to the Duchess at tea.
It was just as I'd feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal,
were truly phenomenal,
and everyone thought it was me."
-Sometimes attributed to Pres. Grover Cleveland

And one that I keep in my wallet:

"Our youth now loves luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, disrespect for older people. Children nowadays are tyrants... They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."
-Socrates, 400 B.C.E.

[desmosome]

"For one to succeed other must fail before him." -??


"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?" -Seinfeld

[sydmonster]

I don't know if this is original but a friend of mine & I want to get this printed on shirts (you know the whole cool shirt sh!t)....


"Jesus Lord! Save me from your followers" - BB



- Chris

[krolik]

I was a Literature major with a Philosophy minor in college. I have continued to read on these two topics for the past ten years since leaving university. I have developed a layman's interest in physics and the workings of the human mind. With a bit of thought I could quote for you dozens of profundities from the likes of Pope, Locke, Shelley, Hume, Kabir, Ramachandran and on and on. But the one phrase I will never forget, the one phrase that affected me most as a man, the one phrase that changed my inner self, the way I feel towards myself and the way I project that feeling towards others was when that girl looked at me straight in the eye and breathlessly said, "God I love your cock!"

 

sac

Anal?