Funniest Coworker Prank You've Done....

[Billyzoom]

In the relatively early days of Photoshop I was the only one in our department who really knew how to use it, though it had been purchased for the others as well.  I took screenshots of co-workers' desktops using their Photoshop program, left the picture open in full screen, and hid the program itself with a keyboard shortcut.  They were immobilized and baffled for hours.  Didn't forgive me for a while for that one.

Then there's the time I copied my friend's desktop photo of his triplets (he's Costa Rican) while he was on a lunch break, photoshopped a quadruplet onto it, but with my Caucasian adult head on ithe little Coasta Rican baby body.  He didn't notice for a couple days and wondered why everyone kept looking over at him and giggling.

Then there's the time I used my Mac to record the sound our department phones made when someone was on their line and another line was trying to call them.  I'd play that sound and watch everyone else try to pick up the line.  I stopped doing that when I heard my OCD boss pounding the phone key repeatedly from his office while he shouted "it won't let me pick up!  It won't let me pick up!"  Almost a career limiting move.

Another time I took a family picture with my wife, six year old daughter, and four year old son.  I put my face on my son, his face on me, my daughter's face on my wife, and my wife's face on my daughter.  Then I framed it and put it in a conspicuous place on my desk.  Everyone who saw it complimented it and didn't think twice.  Some even picked it up and talked about it, how much my kids had grown, etc.  A few looked a bit puzzled, but no one could figure out why they felt unsettled by it.

The gay pride magnetic "sticker" was a bit over the top. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

Joel
 

[RAT900]

Well circa 1977. I was about 25 and was working for a large evil corporation that dabbled in overthrow politics in South America.  My office was on East 40th street in Manhattan...a stone's throw from the old pre-Disney Times Square...rundown shabby,porn theaters, peep shows, pimps hookers and assorted sundry low-lifes abounded...about 3 crosstown blocks away from our offices.

We had a regional ops manager "Big Ed" probably in his early 60's who loved to spend his lunch hours at the Peeps over there and every once in a while would return with some literature procured from one of the many magazine shops in the area.

For some reason he would alway drop his favorite porn on my desk in an Interoffice envelope...I guess after he had personally expended and choked every last drop of all the prurient masturbatory value out of the publications...

he must have thought I was the sort of person who would appreciate the thoughtfulness and could get a few miles of strokes out of them myself...

sloppy-seconds stroke books...wow..who knows...he knew I was dinging  some of the girls in the secretarial ranks and probably thought he could strike up a friendship with me and get the details...kinda creeped me out...but the literature was always interesting if not educational so I never complained...okay so thats the groundwork.......

Anyway...we had a fresh college hire named Joanie...born and raised on some apple orchard in South NJ...farm-fresh...excited to be working in Manhattan...small town girl hits big city of dreams ablah ablah  she worked for a manager I didn't care much for in Project Implementations

Joanie shared an office with a odd kind of fellow...John...John was a geek-type engineer...had lived in a Monastery for a decade or so before deciding it wasn't for him...probably did more wanking in one day than Big Ed probably did in a week's worth of Sundays...

but unlike Big Ed, John probably grew wank-weary in the monastery and rejoined the world in the hopes of getting a bride to tug his chain for him   John was very tall, lanky and awkward....thick glasses and had trouble with eye-contact when speaking with you...he had a strange pseudo-creepy vibe about him....he was devoid of polish and social adeptness...probably some savage derailment in his developmental years inspired him to seek refuge in a monastery filled with other men...well whatever demons he was wrestling with he seemed to keep them at bay but at great expense to how he came off to other people that were more socially "mainstream"

Joanie took a cautious liking to me...she wasn't stupid and knew I wasn't beyond bending her over a desk if she transmitted the right clear-to-proceed signals...she didn't go there.... so I left her alone and merely cultivated her trust and would help her with her job since she was implementing the projects I had built the engineering packages for

One day she confided in me that sharing an office with John was creeping her out...that he was odd and sometimes she would find him staring at her...she said she was thinking of requesting a different office assignment....I gave her a little background on John and suggested to her that he might think of her often when he was showering...she shuddered and laughed and punched me in the shoulder in that farm-girl sort of way...I assured her she probably had nothing to be concerned about

Anyway...the following week John was off on vacation....Big Ed had just dropped off a new magazine for me to appreciate...

I could only surmise that Big Ed's  sexual nature was deconstructing, devolving since the porn he was dropping on my desk was becoming more and more misogynistic (is that even possible?)...or perhaps he was just carefully letting me deeper into his odd world since I never commented on his gifts nor complained other than to say "Yah, got it Ed, left it in a Men's Room stall for others to appreciate"...to which Ed would respond by chomping down on his cigar and grinning......

I was covering John's projects the week he was off...he had left his folders with me in a pile on my desk....for some reason I was looking at his stack and the latest porn in the interoffice envelope next to it and I was struck by a bolt of mischief....

I took the porn and one of John's folders and went over to the office he shared with Joanie...she wasn't in so I dropped the porn in his upper left desk drawer and then dropped a project folder on top of it.  Joanie came in an hour or so later...so I gave her a few minutes to settle in and then dialed her extension...she answered..."Hey Joanie this is Gerry can you do me a favor?".....

"Hi Gerry, sure what do you need?"

"I'm covering for John this week and he neglected to give me the Skadden-Arps Project folder"

"Oh...do you know where it is?"

"I think it is in one of his desk drawers if it isn't on his desk"

"OK Gerry, no problem, if it's here I'll find it"

Five or so minutes pass and Joanie comes into my office...folder in her shaking apple-picking hand....all blood has been drained from her face and neck...pale dead white and looking somewhat shocked...well horribly shocked...she hands me the folder and collapses into the chair in front of my desk

"Can I close the door?"

"Sure Joanie...what's wrong?...you look pale are you ill"

"well I ah, um, don't know how to say this but when I was getting the folder from John's drawer I saw something in there that was really disturbing"

"Really? what? his robes from the monastery?"

"ummm no it was a magazine from one of those Times Square places...remember I said I didn't feel comfortable sharing an office with him?...I know why now"

"Gee Joanie...I guess your instincts were right...you should probably ask for a different office before he comes back...what was in the magazine?"

"I'm going to ask to be moved...but I don't want to bring up why...its too embarrassing...I didn't know people did things like that to each other"

"You're in the city Joanie...consider it an education and if you're uncomfortable with the issue let me speak with your manager about moving your office closer to mine since you are managing most of my projects anyway"

now recovering....... "Would you? can you do that? you are such a sweetie!!"

"Consider it done"

Well Joanie got a new office....I removed the porn from John's desk and placed it in the Mens Room in a stall and life went on.

Years later around 1982 or so I ran into Joanie at some Wall Street Technology Association's annual holiday gathering...they would invite key Technology Company employees to the gathering...free drinks and a hot spread and the possibility of hooking up.....she saw me across the room and came over to say hello...

we shared a few drinks...we had both left our former employer behind and went on to new jobs so we spent a few minutes getting caught up....then I started reminiscing about the days at our old shop....I figured I would lead her back to that awful unsettling moment again...

she saw it coming and said " Do you ever run into John?"....

I said "Yes, he is a key person at the XYZ company now...you just said you're working that account right?...surprised you haven't run into him yet...he is a key decision-maker up the chain"

Joanie started to turn dead pale again in front of me...like she had 5 or so years back....I burst into laughter...I couldn't play the straight man anymore....she punched me in the shoulder..."You bastard.... You're playing me right?"

"Joanie I have been playing you since I stuck Big Ed's porno in John's desk drawer for you to find"

Disbelief on her face...I wasn't sure if I was going to get a drink in the face or what...and then she broke into a big Pollyanna smile, shaking her head and laughing...kicked my shin and punched my shoulder again...harder this time...then I caught that look I never saw or noticed before in her eyes as we stood facing each other

"What do you say we leave this place and find someplace quieter..get caught up?"

"Gerry I am engaged now...we're not going there...besides you had your chance back then but were too busy"

"Joanie are you playing ME now?"

"Gerry you'll never know that now will you?"

She just smiled at me...not sure what kind of smile it was...not wistful, not wicked...couldn't read it

then she tapped my glass with hers and said she had to go meet up with her fiance

we wished each other well and for the best of holidays