Riding has made me a wuss!

[mostrobelle]

I come haulin' down the hill to the Bay Bridge toll approach well over 20 mph in excess of the 50 mph posted there.  I see the sign, see the cop sitting there, look at the sign again and decide to roll off the throttle.  I'm safe--not a car around and weather and road conditions are fine--but being right doesn't come free.  I've fought enough of these to know that speeding tickets in these situations just aren't worth it.  Bragging rights for a 70 mph ticket simply don't give a girl the props she's looking for. 

I enter the carpool lane, with signal on, and give a little hand wave to the car behind me as I do so.  Hey, a push of a button and a flick of the wrist to thank the driver for not crushing me with his Escalade seems like a small price to pay for not having to deal with a pissed off dude behind three tons of car.  When I first started riding I would have given him the bird simply for being on four wheels and being in MY lane. 

Two riders come up behind me and I make room for them to pass.  I kick myself for not moving over sooner and hope that I don't make it into one of those "to the rider holding me up for 0.0075 seconds on the Bridge" threads.  I used to be one of the fastest splitters I knew and would regularly chase down other riders just to let 'em know that the pony-tail takes no prisoners. 

I used to ride for the thrill of it, but thrills used to mean adrenaline rushes from simply making it to work in one piece--It meant I managed to give that car the slip after having whacked its mirror while splitting--It meant that I'd avoided getting 6 points on my license for that last ticket.   

Simply put, I've turned into a big wuss.

My tolerance for close calls and oh-shit moments is close to zero.  I am no longer an adrenaline junkie and instead have an insatiable "craving for calm".  My quest for boredom isn't limited to my commute.  Canyon-strafing and being on the track are included in my riding zen of late:   I challenge myself to keep my heart-rate steady, my breathing regular.  I put my ninja skills to the test--How quickly and quietly can I pass that car or another rider?  I wave to little kids in the back of Volvos.  I turn off my bike for blind people walking through cross walks.  I park legally (sometimes.)  Oh, the shame!

My dreams of being a bad ass are over.  No amount of leather, cc's chrome or carbon will ever hide my blatantly limp-wristed riding.  Dragging knee and hoisting wheelies cannot compensate for the yellow-vested, reflector-donning spirit within.  I'm nothing but a glorified den mother on an over-grown Vespa.  I might as well knit a seat cover and matching grip cozies...

[Sleeper_I]

Racking up those years I see 

Hmm, I never thought about turning off my engine for blind people crossing the street. Great tip grandpa 

[Duck-Stew]

Racking up those years I see 

Hmm, I never thought about turning off my engine for blind people crossing the street. Great tip grandpa 

That's grandMA actually...

And 'Belle...honey...seriously...you missed your calling.  You should write for a moto-rag.  But I've told you that before, lots of times.

[ab]

Interesting.  It is so hard to cool it but then I suppose we all have to at some point.        I got to get to that point.  Lane splitting, zig zagging close between cars and wicking it out,  squealing the bike tire and screaming loud like a little girl with visor open and looking at the face of pedestrians freaking out  (guilty and very stupid thing to do), the close calls, the rush.....   It's all got to stop at some point I suppose.....

[ducpainter]

Was there a particular trigger Belle?

My crazy days on the street are over.

My crash last fall sealed that in stone.

The track still has me screaming inside my helmet though.

[Porsche Monkey]

That was a good read, thanks Belle.  I see the same thing happening to me the more miles pass under my tires.  Maybe its an age thing because I drive better too.

[herm]

nice read belle.

i am right there with you on most of this. i just tell myself i am doing my part as an ambassador for bikers.

better than feeling like a wuss...

[ab]

nice read belle.

i am right there with you on most of this. i just tell myself i am doing my part as an ambassador for bikers.

better than feeling like a wuss...

Isn't it hard to be ambassador for bikers?  Honestly, isn't that hard?  Don't we turn into some sort animal once we on the bike and the adrenalin starts kicking?  Some sort of hooliganism takes over.. 

[EvilSteve]

When I'm in traffic, I'm the same way.

Props to you grandma! 

[fasterblkduc]

In recent years I've lost all interest in riding street. After 15+ years of street riding, I started racing. It's the new thrill for me. Most racers that I know either don't ride street, or seldom do. I can relate to your feelings and share some of the same. In fact, I'm going to sell my street bike soon and I doubt that I'll replace it anytime soon.
When I ride on the street now, I feel extremely vulnerable to the cages that surround me and that's not a pleasant feeling. But more than anything, the thrill is just gone. After racing, the street has nothing to offer. The only thing on a motocycle that truly satisifes me now is pushing myself to do things that cannot be done on public roads.
Going into a turn full throttle, braking late as hell to pass the guy in front of me, kicking two downshifts and making the back end skip sideways, muscling the bike over and holding that front brake with two fingers all the way to apex while stuffing the guy I just passed to the outside of the turn, then taking off the two fingers and getting back on throttle asap while standing the bike back up and sprinting to the next corner to repeat the process, is what gives me a thrill.  
I'm happy when I'm winning races...you can't win races on the street. When I ride street now, I'm just plain bored out of my mind and very concerned about gravel, potholes, cars on blind corners in my lane, cars turning into me, etc..... The thrill is definitely gone.

[sfarchie]

You may no longer be the dare devil you once were, but I can sense the rebel still lives within...at least for meter maids.

[gh0stie]

very well written

[Porsche Monkey]

Isn't it hard to be ambassador for bikers?  Honestly, isn't that hard?  Don't we turn into some sort animal once we on the bike and the adrenalin starts kicking?  Some sort of hooliganism takes over.. 

No offense but are you sure you wouldn't like to reword that given your almost epic ticket thread?

[ab]

No offense but are you sure you wouldn't like to reword that given your almost epic ticket thread?

But I suppose I still long for that excitement still.  Those of you that race have that wonderful experience that most of us do not have and I suppose the street (city, country, rural)  is where we take it out on until we no longer can.  Track may be the answer but I am sure most of us can not afford to do it as often as we would like simply put.

[Grampa]

spideys married w/kid

belle's lost her mojo

dans ditching the stealth bike

the old mob aint what she once was

geist nights are now a knitting circle