Desmolu went down...

[sroberts152]

I know that feeling of looking at your baby and thinking "I can save this... I can fix this here, and tweak that there and I can live with this bit over here".  Sometimes, though... its best to let it go. 

[Porsche Monkey]

Back to civilization, and to internet service. I don't have one of those fancy internet phones like the kids do these days 

To Jesus and Lu, you're more than welcome - that's what friends are for 

Unfortunately, Lu already posted what actually happened. I was hoping she'd put up the version of the story we agreed on during the truck ride home yesterday. Here's a brief outline:
Well, we were tooling around the Hill Country at  a nice, relaxed 140mph pace - Lu rides an M620, after all. Lu was following Matador and I was riding sweep while off the side, running my boot soles along the ground while Matador worked on dragging elbow. Well, Lu was doing a high-chair wheelie through a 30 mph-posted right hander, when she comes across a 6 foot boulder in the middle of our lane. She calmly bunny-hopped over it, but the bike gave a 2nd hop and twirled like a ballerina 5 times until it spun right off the edge of the cliff off to our left. I promptly did a sumo style 180 sliding turn and came back to the edge of the cliff. There my first task was to kill the boulder with my bare hands. Did I say boulder? It turned out to be a mutant giant armadillo left over in some deep, dark cave by the last Ice Age (no, not the damn movie - the geological age). Apparently, the ground quaking vibrations from an M695, 620, and a desmoquattro sbk roused it from its long slumber and brought it to the surface, pissed off that it had been awoken. It took about a 20 minute piss and then went looking for a fight. When it messed with Lu, it found one, damnit!  I stabbed it through the brain by going through the roof of it's mouth with a sharpened flathead screwdriver that I always carry in my leathers (that's why my nickname is Shiv, btw). Matador arrived meantime, and immediately tied our camelbacks and bike chains together to make a rope with which he rapelled down to a groggy Lu. He then faced a crowd of 5 foot tall turkey vultures, the kind only found in South Texas. He fixed on the lead one with a cold stare and said, " I am The Jesus. You pecked at my girlfriend before she was dead. Prepare to die." He then took its eyes with a cactus quill, and rang its neck like a chicken. The others, understandably, decided to depart and feast on the carcass of the giant armadillo, instead.
BUT... they were scattered by a crowd of zombie squids which congregated on the scene, seeking to feast on the brains they never had, even when they were alive. They rode streetfightered Gixxers, all with bikes' asses high in the air, Euro style. All were clothed in matching Affliction t-shirts, tattered khaki shorts, flip-flops, and chrome cereal bowl helmets. As i suspended myself in the air (Crouching Tiger-style), I proceeded to decapitate each of them with well-placed blows from my new Sidi Vertigo Corsa's - absolutely fantastic boots, btw. Highly recommended - comfy, protective, and handy in zombie attacks. Matador had nearly reached the lip of the cliff, supporting Lu in his right arm while carrying her mangled 620 in his left, when a saber-toothed cat from another nearby cave grabbed his ankle. Apparently, it learned nothing from the giant armadillo and vulture, nor the zombie squids. Well, Matador used his teeth to extract Lu's leatherman from here pocket, and gave the cat what he insists is a Venezuelan necktie, not a Colombian necktie. He REALLY likes to extract things from Lu's pants with his teeth and will do so at the slightest excuse, an unfortunate fact for any 3rd wheels hanging about. Well, the rest of the story is kind of boring. I bungeed Lu's bike to the pillion seat of my sbk, Jesus took off his jacket so he could showcase his manly chest (or as he said, to keep Lu warm - in 105 F heat), and we rode off, with Lu looking adoringly into Matador's eyes and whispering, "My Hero."

Dude, I am so glad I didn't witness this, zombies scare me. 

[Popeye the Sailor]

Back to civilization, and to internet service. I don't have one of those fancy internet phones like the kids do these days 

To Jesus and Lu, you're more than welcome - that's what friends are for 

Unfortunately, Lu already posted what actually happened. I was hoping she'd put up the version of the story we agreed on during the truck ride home yesterday. Here's a brief outline:
Well, we were tooling around the Hill Country at  a nice, relaxed 140mph pace - Lu rides an M620, after all. Lu was following Matador and I was riding sweep while off the side, running my boot soles along the ground while Matador worked on dragging elbow. Well, Lu was doing a high-chair wheelie through a 30 mph-posted right hander, when she comes across a 6 foot boulder in the middle of our lane. She calmly bunny-hopped over it, but the bike gave a 2nd hop and twirled like a ballerina 5 times until it spun right off the edge of the cliff off to our left. I promptly did a sumo style 180 sliding turn and came back to the edge of the cliff. There my first task was to kill the boulder with my bare hands. Did I say boulder? It turned out to be a mutant giant armadillo left over in some deep, dark cave by the last Ice Age (no, not the damn movie - the geological age). Apparently, the ground quaking vibrations from an M695, 620, and a desmoquattro sbk roused it from its long slumber and brought it to the surface, pissed off that it had been awoken. It took about a 20 minute piss and then went looking for a fight. When it messed with Lu, it found one, damnit!  I stabbed it through the brain by going through the roof of it's mouth with a sharpened flathead screwdriver that I always carry in my leathers (that's why my nickname is Shiv, btw). Matador arrived meantime, and immediately tied our camelbacks and bike chains together to make a rope with which he rapelled down to a groggy Lu. He then faced a crowd of 5 foot tall turkey vultures, the kind only found in South Texas. He fixed on the lead one with a cold stare and said, " I am The Jesus. You pecked at my girlfriend before she was dead. Prepare to die." He then took its eyes with a cactus quill, and rang its neck like a chicken. The others, understandably, decided to depart and feast on the carcass of the giant armadillo, instead.
BUT... they were scattered by a crowd of zombie squids which congregated on the scene, seeking to feast on the brains they never had, even when they were alive. They rode streetfightered Gixxers, all with bikes' asses high in the air, Euro style. All were clothed in matching Affliction t-shirts, tattered khaki shorts, flip-flops, and chrome cereal bowl helmets. As i suspended myself in the air (Crouching Tiger-style), I proceeded to decapitate each of them with well-placed blows from my new Sidi Vertigo Corsa's - absolutely fantastic boots, btw. Highly recommended - comfy, protective, and handy in zombie attacks. Matador had nearly reached the lip of the cliff, supporting Lu in his right arm while carrying her mangled 620 in his left, when a saber-toothed cat from another nearby cave grabbed his ankle. Apparently, it learned nothing from the giant armadillo and vulture, nor the zombie squids. Well, Matador used his teeth to extract Lu's leatherman from here pocket, and gave the cat what he insists is a Venezuelan necktie, not a Colombian necktie. He REALLY likes to extract things from Lu's pants with his teeth and will do so at the slightest excuse, an unfortunate fact for any 3rd wheels hanging about. Well, the rest of the story is kind of boring. I bungeed Lu's bike to the pillion seat of my sbk, Jesus took off his jacket so he could showcase his manly chest (or as he said, to keep Lu warm - in 105 F heat), and we rode off, with Lu looking adoringly into Matador's eyes and whispering, "My Hero."

K, stop taking Lu's meds, and definitely stop mixing them with liquor. Trust me on this.

[somegirl]

Best. Crash. Story. Ever.

 

[swampduc]

K, stop taking Lu's meds, and definitely stop mixing them with liquor. Trust me on this.

Who are you? Wait, who am I?