El Matador's and Desmolu's most excellent adventure. Writeup Finished!

[He Man]

dont forget u were 3 hours late to my place.  F train. wtf

[Slide Panda]

dont forget u were 3 hours late to my place.  F train. wtf

Whaa whaa whaa... you were all 6+ hours late to my place... but I'm skipping ahead in the *adventure*

[Bun-bun]

 

[DesmoLu]

Whaa whaa whaa... you were all 6+ hours late to my place... but I'm skipping ahead in the *adventure*

Well, you're just going to have to ask DirtDiva about that one....

[amcloud]

Im in San Antonio for work.  Driving to Austin tomorrow.  Come visit?

[DesmoLu]

Kingbaby, we WERE in the process of a detailed writeup. Now you ruined it for everyone by spoiling the ending - i.e. that we all made it back to Houston alive.

[Slide Panda]

That's a weak excuse... we know you made it back... you already posted that little factoid.  Quit stallin'

[DesmoLu]

It's Matador's turn. I'm waiting on him!

[Slide Panda]

Ahem..
That's a weak excuse... we know you don't wait for him.  Quit stallin'

[DesmoLu]

hahaha, HEY! I waited almost a whole year for him to turn 21!

as an fyi, I have been on the phone with the Arkansas police department where we got our ticket (it will come in the story) for about 20 minutes now as an old woman with a long southern drawl continues to make failed attempts to use a computer. So far, she has
1) Asked how to spell Jesus and yes, I did say "as in Christ"
2) created four different iterations of the number "20932"
3) accidentally dropped her phone twice

They don't make them quite the same round those parts, do they?

[GAAN]

I wish he would drop matador and just go by Jesus

it makes me smile

[El Matador]

I'm sorry everyone, was just playin'. and I'll refrain from clicking on your thread (novel) again .

See ya down the road.

Hey now! we just playing too. This thread would be no fun without huge amounts of sarcasm and wit. Where are we supposed to get that if you leave

[El Matador]

So we head out to He-man's place where we're supposed to rendezvous with Kui and THE BIG-ASS RUSSIAN. To get there we're supposed to take one train and transfer. Only about half an hour. Two hours and 5 trains later, we arrive.

Last check over the bike, we're ready to head out:





Yes that is me behind THE BIG ASS RUSSIAN's bike.

For perspective purposes, I am 5'10 and 195lbs. I look tiny next to that guy.

We leave the city via the Joisy Turnpike and spend 40 freaking dollars in tolls. yes 40. Let me repeat that 40 FREAKING DOLLARS. Each.  That is crazy. No wonder people don't leave the city and go insane and shoot each other.

At the first toll, He-man and Desmolu go through the wrong lane, a police officer comes out in full Swat gear to demand payment or "be prepared to be make the beast with two backsed by the long dick of the law". Or something like that.  But when he sees He-man's custom helmet paintjob, he gives them a discount and wishes them a good day. Apparently the guy is a Giants fan like Kui. I guess that bring up the total count up to 2.

About half an hour after we leave we start hitting some pretty heavy traffic. This is no problem for BIG ASS RUSSIAN. This guy like to lane-split with a 200lb guy on the back and saddlebags. Crazyness.

We spy some clouds on the horizon and decide to pull over to put the rain gear over our saddlebags. When we do this we realize that the bags are still rubbing on the tyre   Out of nowhere BIG ASS RUSSIAN produces a roll of ductape, and with the quickness that can only be obtained through years of practice taping bags of dismembered body parts or kidnapping victims, he proceeds to do a tape job that left us all wondering whether we should take turns guarding the others during the night.



As soon as we hit the road again I get a text from Dirtdiva:

"There's some pretty nasty weather here, are you guys ok?"

Damn.

Pretty nasty weather turned out to be a downpour of matador-camping proportions.

We're talking people going 25mph on the highway downpour.

Of course BIG ASS RUSSIAN rode through a blizzard on a Ural with a flat tyre, in the  tundra, while dodging landmines once, so he took everyone else going slower as a chance for him to go faster. "Because cops don't pull you over when it is raining" Or something like that.

Well, we finally get to Philly and Call Dirtdiva. It turns out we're meeting her at her place of business, a further 30 mins away. We get there and meet with her,

Finally the bike! Well, not just yet.

We still have to go pick up the bike, a further 1 hour away, but hey, at least we get to ride in Dirtdiva's wonderfully dry car, at least 2 of us anyways.   By this time it was 6 in the afternoon, and we hadn't eaten anything since the samples they gave us at the restaurant the day before. On the way over to pick up the bike, Beth and her SO figure out something is wrong with us, we are too weak to form sentences. Lucrece looks mildly Ethiopian.

Mercifully, they stop at a gas station that has the most wonderful food I have ever had inside a gas station. We order a philly cheese steak (of course, when in rome...) And it turns out to be the best damned cheesesteak I have ever had. As soon as we got it, we inhaled it. I don't think I ever even chewed during the whole process. Some children near us started crying. Concerned parents hurried them away while saying "don't look, don't look". I gave them a furtive scowl and dove back into devouring my prize. Damn straight, get the make the beast with two backs away from my sandwich. Being broke, we only bought one and "shared". Have you ever seen two hyenas fighting over meat? We looked like something straight out of the discovery channel. I think Beth started having second thoughts about selling us the bike and letting us back into the car when she saw us eat.

When we got to the place with the bike, the transaction was fairly straightforward. Separating soaked bills and counting them is no fun, lemme tell ya. We were itching to get back on the road, and did so as soon as possible, by this time, it was 7:30 and we still hadn't left. We had told Yuu that we would be rolling into DC at 7. Ooops.

At the first gas stop on the new bike:



An uneventful ride to Dc followed. By uneventful I mean, we got lost 6 times. As stated somewhere before we ended up getting there 6 hours late   By the time we got to his place, we were so tired that words weren't coming out. It was more of a slur combined with Arameic. Kui got to the kitchen and exploded all over the floor. BIG ASS RUSSIAN fell on a couch and wasn't to be disturbed.

Lu and I had a bed set up for us were we crashed. I think I mumbled something resembling "thanks" to Yuu before I went into a coma, but I'm not sure.

[factorPlayer]

1) Asked how to spell Jesus and yes, I did say "as in Christ"

that is rich

[DesmoLu]

Kui got to the kitchen and exploded all over the floor.

Wow, because THAT doesn't sound wrong at all.....