9 to 5 is for chumps! Salvation has arrived!!

[Snips]

Hey you working slobs, Jimbo's outahere!!

That's right!  Check out this email I got today, then cry in your PBR 'cause I'm living on easy street from now on!

I reckon you should waste no time at all, call your boss straight away, tell him your quit, with a healthy dose of what you really think of him and the rotten stinkin' job.

[Michael Moore]

Man, you guys have all the luck. 

[jimboecv]

Man, you guys have all the luck. 

Michael, I appreciate everything you've done for the community.

$100,000 of love coming to the checking account of your choice (just send me the routing info).
BONUS
Here's a little something I've been holding in my back pocket for just such an occasion, and just suck a guy.

Hello My Dear,

After waiting and no response was heard, I deposited and also paid for
 the delivery fee of your $1.5,000 000.00 Million US Dollars,as
 consignment box to FEDERAL INLAND SECURITY COMPANY in Lagos Nigeria
 because I
 travelled to SAUDI ARABIA to visit my friend and i will not come back
 till July,2008.I want you to contact the FEDERAL INLAND SECURITY
 COMPANY
 to know when they will be delivering your consignment.

I have paid for the delivery charges and also the insurance fee,the
 only fee you will pay them is the monthly demurrage fee which they
 would
 pay the security department that are guarding your consignment since
 the
 deposition day.

But if you will be very fast in contacting them,you will be charged for
 only one month demurrage fee which will cost only $270 USD. So I urge
 you to contact them as soon as you receive this email.

CONTACT: DR. Eric Daramola
MANAGER FEDERAL INLAND SECURITY COMPANY.
E-mail: ericdaramola2@post.ro
Telephone Number : +234-808-127-2720

Try to contact them as soon as possible to avoid increase in demurrage
 fee.I gave them your delivery address but you have to reconfirm it to
 them again to avoid any mistakes in the delivery of your fund .

Reconfirm below information to the company.

Your Full Name-----------------------
Your Address-------------------------
Home Telephone-----------------------
Office Telephone---------------------

Note: You are to contact the FEDERAL INLAND SECURITY COMPANY MANAGER
 via
this email:-- (ericdaramola2@post.ro)

Finally indicate this code: GM0081 when contacting them,it will
 identify that you are the owner of the $1.500.000.00 consignment trunk
 box
 deposited in the company. Do let me know as soon as you receive your
 consignment and take a proper account of the content if the content is
 $1.500.000.00.

Regards,
Mr.Ayomide Williams.

[Meltz]

I'm going to play the slow friend here (well, I guess I'm not really "playing")...how exactly do these guys actually scam money off the people who fall for these emails?  Seems like a no-risk think to try.

[MendoDave]

You are supposed to tell your boss to "Take this job & Shove it" or something like that, before you reply to the letter. Its a sure thing isn't it? 

Always burn your bridges....




Not!

[MendoDave]

I'm going to play the slow friend here (well, I guess I'm not really "playing")...how exactly do these guys actually scam money off the people who fall for these emails?  Seems like a no-risk think to try.

Thats just the first step. Then they want one more thing.... Such as a fee to release the funds, or another piece of info and the scam becomes a rabbit hole.

[mostrobelle]

Oh... Of course they are. 

Just give me your following and I will transfer the funds over 

First and Last Name
Home Address
Mothers Maiden Name
SSN #
Credit Card #
Bank Account #

What's really sad is that I could have all this info and still wouldn't know what to do with it.  I'd try to buy a lawnmower or something and get caught.   

[gojira]

I've read of your recent success with interest and would be pleased to further your return with my eager assistance. Your hard-earned wealth should not be in investments of unknown foundation and provenance. In my firm, Dewey Cheatham and Howe, you can be rest assured your money will share it's solid strength and impeccable history as that found on the backs of every dollar bill ... if the pyramid is good enough for the U.S. Government, it's good enough for you.

Feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience. Your money will be moving and shaking the sooner you call. You have my name on it.

Best,
Charles Ponzi

[ptam]

Jimbo,

I'm gonna give back your $1K ... 44 Million ... woo hoo!

"acknowledge An Iraqi named Haider Hanoon,a business man made a numbered fixed deposit of(346,736,899.68 TWD) for 18 calendar months, this is valued to Fourty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch.  Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war, four years ago (2003).he dead with his entire familyl eaving no next of kin behind,50/50 for both of us if interested indicate by sending the below. PERSONAL DETAILS IF INTERESTED FOR MORE DETAILS. 1.YOUR NAME 2.YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS 3.YOUR OCCUPATION 4.YOUR PHONE NUMBER 5.DATE OF BIRTH .COUNTRY OF RESIDENT  Your response with the requested information should be sent to reach me at my personal email address below: peterwonghk7@gmail.com Yours Truly,Sir. peter wong."

[jimboecv]

WOW!  I can't believe the good fortune, my friend!
I want you to take that $1k and donate it to your favorite charity.

It's never been more clear that God rides a Monster, or at least an old bevel drive.

[ptam]

WOW!  I can't believe the good fortune, my friend!
I want you to take that $1k and donate it to your favorite charity.

That's very generous of you ...

The good luck just keeps piling on ...

"Dear Winner,
Winning Notification
This is to notify you that you have won £850,000.00 in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was amongst those chosen for this period.
Ticket no: 56475600545 188
Serial no: 5368/02
Winning number: 08.11.21.32.35.42. {47}
Draw (#1187)
To claim your prize, please contact:
Fiduciary Agent Mr.Robert Hache
www.nationallottery.co.uk/player/p/results/results.do
Email:(claimsunit@uknlpromo.org)
Tell:+447031934212
Yours faithfully,
Dr. Lorraine M. Dodds"