DMF joke thread

[ducpainter]

.sLittle Johnny had just failed his law exam, but instead of sulking, he marched straight to his professor's office with a plan.

Johnny: "Sir, is it true you know everything about law?"

Professor: "Naturally. I've been teaching it for over 30 years."

Johnny: "Perfect. Let's make a deal. If you can answer my question, I'll accept my failing grade. But if you can't... you give me an 'A.'"

The professor, amused and slightly arrogant, agreed.

Professor: "Go ahead. Ask."

Johnny leaned forward with a grin.

Johnny: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?"

The professor froze. He thought. He scribbled notes. He paced the room. Hours ticked by, but he couldn't crack it. Finally, red-faced and defeated, he gave Johnny an "A."

The next day, still fuming and desperate for answers, the professor posed the riddle to his class.

Professor: "Who can tell me—what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?"

To his surprise, nearly every hand shot up.

He called on one student.

Student: "Sir, you're 65 years old and married to a 28-year-old woman. That's legal but not logical. Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old man. That's logical but not legal. And finally... you just gave your wife's boyfriend an 'A' after he failed his exam. That's neither legal nor logical!"

[Kopfjäger]

      

[Randimus Maximus]

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A: A pimp.

[Randimus Maximus]

Every Monday, a rabbi, a priest, and a preacher gather in a coffee shop to discuss their spiritual lives.
During one of these meetings, the priest challenges the others to a unique bet: he believes he can convert a bear in the woods to his religion. The others are intrigued and accept the challenge, agreeing to share their experiences at their next meeting.

The following week, they all meet in the hospital, each in varying degrees of injury. They decide to convene in the rabbi's hospital room.

The priest, with his arm in a sling, recounts his encounter first.

"Yeah, it was tough at first, but I was able to dash it with some holy water. The next thing I know, it started saying Hail Mary. He's coming to mass this Sunday."

The others nod in approval.

Next, the preacher. The preacher is in pretty bad shape. He's in a wheel chair, and he has a concussion, a broken leg, and a broken arm.

He says "Well, when I finally happened upon it, I wrestled that thing to the ground and started beating its head with a Bible. So he lunges at me and we tumble down this hill into the river where I dunked him seven times. Finally, he came to the faith. He'll be coming to church next Sunday."

Finally, they turn to the rabbi. The rabbi looks like he got the worst of it. He's in a body cast and there's no way he's getting out of bed any time soon.

He looks at both men and says "Well, I probably should've started with something different than circumcision...."