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Author Topic: DMF joke thread  (Read 442842 times)
Randimus Maximus
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« Reply #1845 on: March 29, 2022, 02:49:06 PM »
 laughingdp laughingdp laughingdp
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Quote from: Jacob on June 06, 2011, 11:07:02 AM
you may be a god
ducpainter
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DILLIGAF
« Reply #1846 on: March 29, 2022, 03:56:21 PM »
Quote from: Jaman on March 29, 2022, 11:47:01 AM
A guy takes his wife out for a night on the Town, and they end up at a disco where there’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large
 – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going.

The wife turns to her husband and says...
 “See that guy over there? 25 years ago, he proposed to me, and I turned him down.”

The husband replies,
“It looks like he’s still celebrating.”

That be funny. waytogo
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"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”
Jaman
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« Reply #1847 on: April 27, 2022, 09:47:36 AM »
How does a Hippie Polygamist count his Wives?

one Mrs. Hippie, two Mrs. Hippie, three Mrs. Hippie...
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ducpainter
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DILLIGAF
« Reply #1848 on: April 27, 2022, 03:57:50 PM »
Not sure if I should lol...or groan. Grin
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"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”
Randimus Maximus
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'01 996SPS
« Reply #1849 on: April 27, 2022, 04:05:16 PM »
Quote from: ducpainter on April 27, 2022, 03:57:50 PM
Not sure if I should lol...or groan. Grin

+1

But I'm going to steal it...
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Quote from: Jacob on June 06, 2011, 11:07:02 AM
you may be a god
Howie
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« Reply #1850 on: April 27, 2022, 08:49:24 PM »
Bad jokes are good Huh?  I like it.
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kopfjäger
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« Reply #1851 on: May 12, 2022, 03:04:27 PM »
An elderly man was driving down I-95.

“Bob! Be careful,” his wife shouted, “I just heard on the radio, there’s a car going the wrong way on I-95!”

“It’s not just one car!” Bob yelled back, “There’s hundreds of them!”
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“Woohoohoohoo! Two personal records! For breath holding and number of sharks shot in the frickin\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
ducpainter
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DILLIGAF
« Reply #1852 on: May 12, 2022, 03:15:15 PM »
Quote from: kopfjäger on May 12, 2022, 03:04:27 PM
An elderly man was driving down I-95.

“Bob! Be careful,” his wife shouted, “I just heard on the radio, there’s a car going the wrong way on I-95!”

“It’s not just one car!” Bob yelled back, “There’s hundreds of them!”
Grin
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"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”
Randimus Maximus
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'01 996SPS
« Reply #1853 on: May 12, 2022, 06:24:22 PM »
 applause
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Quote from: Jacob on June 06, 2011, 11:07:02 AM
you may be a god
Jaman
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« Reply #1854 on: May 27, 2022, 08:38:36 AM »
The CEO of Ikea has just been appointed Prime Minister of Sweden.

He is busy assembling his cabinet as we speak.
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Randimus Maximus
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'01 996SPS
« Reply #1855 on: May 27, 2022, 09:07:46 AM »
 laughingdp
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Quote from: Jacob on June 06, 2011, 11:07:02 AM
you may be a god
koko64
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« Reply #1856 on: May 29, 2022, 09:05:59 PM »
 applause laughingdp
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2015 Scrambler 800
Randimus Maximus
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« Reply #1857 on: July 15, 2022, 12:01:57 PM »
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman asked, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No" so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman asked, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and asked, "'ave ya ever been fooked, laddie?"

The man broke into a big smile and said, "No" and she said, "Aye, ya will be when the tide comes in."
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Quote from: Jacob on June 06, 2011, 11:07:02 AM
you may be a god
ducpainter
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DILLIGAF
« Reply #1858 on: July 15, 2022, 01:48:27 PM »
Quote from: Randimus Maximus on July 15, 2022, 12:01:57 PM
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman asked, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No" so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The Welsh woman asked, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The Scottish woman came to him and asked, "'ave ya ever been fooked, laddie?"

The man broke into a big smile and said, "No" and she said, "Aye, ya will be when the tide comes in."
Grin
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"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
 a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”
Jaman
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*****
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Posts: 1573
« Reply #1859 on: July 22, 2022, 10:40:28 AM »
Friyay TwoFer:

What do you call an Army of Babies?

An Infantry...


What is the opposite of progress?

Congress
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