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[Oldfisti]

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To the lawyer representing my wife
Date: 2010-02-24, 11:33PM EST
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February 24, 2010

Dear Ms. Jones,

I have received your letter informing me of my mother-in-law’s wishes. Oops, I mean my wife’s wishes. I do not know what kind of investigation you have conducted and information you received or from who, but it is all likely a bunch of lies generated from my mother-in-law, AKA The pregnant dog. It would not be inconvenient to go court for me. I only live a few miles from the courthouse and will likely be unemployed from all the stress this is causing me. Also, I am not concerned about the expense of the case. My wife is paying for my lawyer with the credit card she forgot to remove me from as an authorized user. Could you thank her for that since she does not want to talk to me? While we are on the subject of that credit card, thank her for the new Glock 23 .40 handgun with the tricked out laser sights she bought me for my birthday. It was Sunday in case you were wondering. I would not be embarrassed one bit to tell all of our business in court. Matter of fact, I think it would be really entertaining. To prove how open I am, I want to share a secret with you. When I got your letter I checked out your firms website. You are smoking hot! I could not help myself. I watched your video and masturbated. It was awesome! Maybe when all this is over we can get together for the real thing. I was really getting tired of stroking it to the nude photos my wife and I took when we were first married.

Well let us get to the list of items my wife wants from the house.

Her Cat. She can have him. He is really starting to smell. I think he is sick though. He has not moved in a couple of days. My wife has not been here to feed him. I think he might be hungry. My cat has been trying to play with him but he does not respond. Stupid cat.

Kitchen. There really is not much left. You see I do not do dishes, that was my wife’s duty. I have been just throwing the plates and glasses and such away.

Master Bathroom. She can have the items under her vanity except the lotion. I need this for masturbating while thinking about you. Does she really want the toothbrush holder? I bet The pregnant dog put her up to that one. The green towels The pregnant dog gave her are not totally green anymore. You see, I don’t know how to wash clothes and put bleach in the washer while trying to get the ejaculate off of them when I was done masturbating while thinking about you.

Half Bath. She wants everything? Well that does make since I guess. Her cat likes to shit in the sink in there. Tell you what, she can have the cat shit sink and I’ll keep the toilet. Are you thinking about having sex with me?

Living Room. She can have that bullshit she is requesting. I changed the wedding pictures for the nude photos mentioned earlier.

Dining Room. She can have everything provided she buys me a new table. I don’t eat on the floor. I do make the beast with two backs on the floor, you in?

Master Bedroom. She gets to keep everything in the dining room, I keep the master bedroom items. That’s where the magic happens! What jewelry are you referring to? It must have been stolen the night she left. She didn’t lock the door or turn the alarm on. I do have a cockring. Want to see it?

Office. She wants the $5 world globe. WTF? I was going to sell it to get a footlong sub from Subway. What’s your favorite kind?

Attic. She can have the Christmas tree and decorations. I am an Atheist. I don’t like that ghost story bullshit anyway.

Hopefully this will help in your efforts to screw me over. Let me know if you want to make the beast with two backs. Thanks.


    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

   
   
PostingID: 1616816667

[Monsterlover]

I just found a good one on adv .. . .

[Speedbag]

norfolk craigslist >  personals >  rants & raves
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To the lawyer representing my wife
Date: 2010-02-24, 11:33PM EST
Reply To This Post

February 24, 2010

Dear Ms. Jones,

I have received your letter informing me of my mother-in-law’s wishes. Oops, I mean my wife’s wishes. I do not know what kind of investigation you have conducted and information you received or from who, but it is all likely a bunch of lies generated from my mother-in-law, AKA The pregnant dog. It would not be inconvenient to go court for me. I only live a few miles from the courthouse and will likely be unemployed from all the stress this is causing me. Also, I am not concerned about the expense of the case. My wife is paying for my lawyer with the credit card she forgot to remove me from as an authorized user. Could you thank her for that since she does not want to talk to me? While we are on the subject of that credit card, thank her for the new Glock 23 .40 handgun with the tricked out laser sights she bought me for my birthday. It was Sunday in case you were wondering. I would not be embarrassed one bit to tell all of our business in court. Matter of fact, I think it would be really entertaining. To prove how open I am, I want to share a secret with you. When I got your letter I checked out your firms website. You are smoking hot! I could not help myself. I watched your video and masturbated. It was awesome! Maybe when all this is over we can get together for the real thing. I was really getting tired of stroking it to the nude photos my wife and I took when we were first married.

Well let us get to the list of items my wife wants from the house.

Her Cat. She can have him. He is really starting to smell. I think he is sick though. He has not moved in a couple of days. My wife has not been here to feed him. I think he might be hungry. My cat has been trying to play with him but he does not respond. Stupid cat.

Kitchen. There really is not much left. You see I do not do dishes, that was my wife’s duty. I have been just throwing the plates and glasses and such away.

Master Bathroom. She can have the items under her vanity except the lotion. I need this for masturbating while thinking about you. Does she really want the toothbrush holder? I bet The pregnant dog put her up to that one. The green towels The pregnant dog gave her are not totally green anymore. You see, I don’t know how to wash clothes and put bleach in the washer while trying to get the ejaculate off of them when I was done masturbating while thinking about you.

Half Bath. She wants everything? Well that does make since I guess. Her cat likes to shit in the sink in there. Tell you what, she can have the cat shit sink and I’ll keep the toilet. Are you thinking about having sex with me?

Living Room. She can have that bullshit she is requesting. I changed the wedding pictures for the nude photos mentioned earlier.

Dining Room. She can have everything provided she buys me a new table. I don’t eat on the floor. I do make the beast with two backs on the floor, you in?

Master Bedroom. She gets to keep everything in the dining room, I keep the master bedroom items. That’s where the magic happens! What jewelry are you referring to? It must have been stolen the night she left. She didn’t lock the door or turn the alarm on. I do have a cockring. Want to see it?

Office. She wants the $5 world globe. WTF? I was going to sell it to get a footlong sub from Subway. What’s your favorite kind?

Attic. She can have the Christmas tree and decorations. I am an Atheist. I don’t like that ghost story bullshit anyway.

Hopefully this will help in your efforts to screw me over. Let me know if you want to make the beast with two backs. Thanks.


    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

   
   
PostingID: 1616816667

 

[Monsterlover]

[minnesotamonster]

What. The. make the beast with two backs.

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html

I'd do a screen print, but I'm on my phone. Someone do the honors.

[Scottish]

What. The. make the beast with two backs.

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1721567507.html

I'd do a screen print, but I'm on my phone. Someone do the honors.

Wow, run what you brung I guess. The true origins of rat rodding were just using what you had on hand. Truest form I seen I guess.

[Oldfisti]

albany craigslist >  personals >  strictly platonic
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PROM DATE - m4w - 18 (Troy Ny)
Date: 2010-05-06, 11:23AM EDT
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Im desperate and need myself a date to the prom. Take you out for some chicken, maybe some sex...



    * Location: Troy Ny
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


   
PostingID: 1727327962

[KnightofNi]

but he's offering a chicken dinner! 

[Oldfisti]

but he's offering a chicken dinner! 

He's offering some chicken (maybe)


Perhaps a whole dinner would be more enticing...


If anyone here has ever been to Troy,NY you would know why his inbox is most likely still empty. (besides the handsome pic)

[lethe]

He looks like one of those bald irradiated people who worship the nuclear missile in the old Planet of the Apes movies

[ducpainter]

He's offering some chicken (maybe)


Perhaps a whole dinner would be more enticing...


If anyone here has ever been to Troy,NY you would know why his inbox is most likely still empty. (besides the handsome pic)

Aren't you from Troy?

[Monsterlover]

Oh snap!

[Oldfisti]

Aren't you from Troy?

Near Troy.


There's a difference!


 

[minnesotamonster]

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/ank/mcy/1734819362.html



i have a 2007 cbr 600rr. that has 1500 miles on it and it has to go because i'm divorcing my pregnant dog of a wife and she is not getting any of this money or my bike. first come first dibbs
comes with icon large helmet and icon xl jacket.
my name is phil 612-369-0723

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[Oldfisti]

albany craigslist >  personals >  casual encounters
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Help Me! - 18 (Capital District)
Date: 2010-06-09, 9:21PM EDT
Reply To This Post

Please, somebody needs to help me! I am (barely) 18 and I am ready to burst with child. My scumbag boyfriend walked out when he found out he had a responsibility and I was kicked out of my house. I have carried to full term and now and ready to deliver. The pains have already begun (mild, but there). I need someone there, anyone, to hold my hand and get me through this. I will not be able to do it alone. I need someone there to wipe the sweat from my brow as I grunt, and strain and push (and probably scream) trying to expel this HUGE baby (8+pounds!) I am 5'4" 110lbs normally, so trying to squeeze such a large child out of my tiny body won't be easy. I do not have medical insurance so I am going to have to deliver this on my own, no hospital will take me. That is okay, I don't want to risk my baby being messed up by the drugs. I am petrified to push this thing out by myself. PLEASE PLEASE HELP! I will give you anything you need in return! I am going to have to have this in a hotel or maybe in my trailer or if you want I can squat in a back alley or the woods I just need someone to hold my hand and coach me through it. Please don't make me labor alone!

Put OBGYN in the subject line so I know you are my savior! I will give you address as to where to find me from there.

    * Location: Capital District
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

   
   
PostingID: 1784171811



I call bullshit on this one