Rider down...and I'm freaked.

[dutchy73]

I know this might be a sobering subject, and possibly taboo, but I need some help from the community in order to get an idea of what to do next.

This past weekend, I had lost a good buddy in a bike accident. Apparently, he was riding up state NY on his 999, entered a corner, misjudged, and didn't make it out the other side alive. I can't even begin to express the feeling of not only losing my friend, but HOW I had lost him. We had both gotten our motorcycle licenses around the same time, me only a month or so earlier. Actually, I think I even helped to slightly motivate him to get his license once he knew I had done it and bought a Monster. I just can't stop playing those early conversations in my head. And I know I am not responsible for what has happened, but I just can't stop thinking about. On top of it all, I had seen him a couple weeks ago and we spoke about the importance of riding with protective gear, no matter what. And he was a firm believer of this, considering it was about 90 degrees outside that day, and he was in full leather. And yes, he was in full gear when he passed, but apparently it was so violent...well, you get the picture.

Then I get a call from our mutual friend on Monday, which started out with the dreaded, "I'm not sure if you had heard, but we lost...". I felt sick to my stomach.

So here is where my twisted head is right now:
I'm shocked. I'm scared. I'm freaked out. I'm sad. All those emotions happening at the same time.

And I am now at a place where I can't decide if I should continue riding. I understand the danger every time I hop in the saddle. I am sure everyone thinks/knows the possibilities every time they head out. However, when it's this close to home and fresh in the mind, how can you ignore it? The problem is, I love to ride.

The thing that keeps running in my head, which is helping me consider "riding on", is the fact that my buddy died because of the situation he put himself in. I know that's a selfish way of looking at it, but I feel it's true. He has only been riding for a couple years (but did have a lot of miles under him). He had a Monster 900 for about six months, then jumped right into a 999 which I thought wasn't the best move, considering he was a novice rider, at best. Was he going too fast into that turn? Probably. Did someone pull out in front of him? No. Did he hit some sand or something in the road? No. It was in his control. So I just keep telling myself, "I know I don't ride like that".

I do everything to not put myself in that situation. But you just never know what could happen. So my question is this: Who has been in this situation before? How did you handle? Do you know someone who may have been in my situation and how did they handle it?

I'm not asking for anyone to tell me what to do, just trying to see how others have dealt with a tragedy like this, so I can decide what is best for me.

And everyone, please, RIDE SAFE. Those words have an even greater meaning to me now.

[r_ciao]

Sorry about your loss.    RIP.  Never been anywhere close to your situation but am positive others here will be able to provide advice and insight.

[foggy123]

Had a buddy go on a corner that I drive everyday.  I tried to avoid the corner for a long time but finally realised that I was trying to avoid remembering/reminding that my buddy was gone.   Take a step back cherish your life and the memory of your friends.  Some would continue to ride in memory of the fallen, some would chose to stop ridding.  There is no right/wrong answer just what feels best to you. 

Best of luck! 

[Speedbag]

Sorry about your friend. 

I've lost two friends over the years to bike accidents. Their memory always made me that much more paranoid about the dangers, and made me a much more conscious rider.

That said, my own incident with The Deer last September has taken a lot of the fun out of riding for me. My neck and upper back haven't been the same since, and probably never will be. I've seriously thought about hanging it up (especially after my recent convertible purchase) and now ride only on perfect days, never at night. I've put on about half the miles I normally do during this season.

You have to do what feels right for you...

[R0CKETMAN]

Sorry about your bro.

This is a question only you can answer.

[Pedro-bot]

This is a question only you can answer.

Two things to tell ya:
#1. My condolences.

#2. +1 to the quoted statement above.

[Raux]

sorry to hear about your friend

the immediacy of the situation and the emotion of losing a friend will affect your decision if you make it now.

take some time, you will be able to decide your future with riding later with less emotion and more thought.

[arai_speed]

My condolences  

Having had the displeasure of loosing two friends on the same road a couple of months apart I can attest to how you feel.  Your choice to continue riding or not but know that your friend died doing something he loved to do.  Not something many people do.

RIP

[Grappa]

Sorry for your loss.  I reckon that you will go through a range of emotions in the coming weeks/months.  Everyone does when they experience a loss of some kind.  I would just say that you don't have to decide whether or not to ride anymore anytime soon.  Take some time before you make any big decisions.  If your bike sits in the garage for a while, so be it.  Only you can decide to ride or not.  My condolences go out to his family and friends.

[Spidey]

I do everything to not put myself in that situation. But you just never know what could happen. So my question is this: Who has been in this situation before? How did you handle? Do you know someone who may have been in my situation and how did they handle it?

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.  I have not lost anyone close to me riding, but my brother is in wheelchair with no movement below his chest because of a motorcycle accident.  I stopped riding for more than four years after.  I never sold my bike though.  It just sat in storage, in part because I couldn't face selling it and in part because I wasn't ready to give up riding entirely.  I told myself that motorcycle riding wasn't going anywhere.  It was something I liked doing, but not something I couldn't live without.  I told myself that if I ever wanted to (or needed to), I could just pick it up again.  Initially, I was ok without riding.  But as time passed, there was an itch that grew and grew and grew.  I wanted to ride.  I needed to ride.  I pulled the old bike out of storage and got it running.  I rode it for a week just to check.  From then I knew that I needed to ride.  I bought my first monster the next week.

There's nothing wrong with taking some time off if you feel need it.  Your bike will still love you.  There have been a few other times where I've taken a few months off after a crash just to get my head right or to get over being freaked out.  Each time, it's the urge to ride that draws me back in.  But being freaked out is a normal response.  It's important to let it sort itself out. 

So give yourself some time off the bike if you feel like you need it.  That time off may stretch into months or years or forever.  Or it may pass.  Like I said, motorcycle riding isn't going anywhere.

[dutchy73]

Thanks all for the advice. It's very much appreciated. Ultimatly, i know i need to decide what's best for me, but it's comforting to know I am not alone. The situation is tough enough as it is, so some kind words and seasoned insight is going a long way.

I'm going to take a bit of time off and regroup. Then decide what's the next move.

Thanks again everyone.

[fastwin]

My sympathy to your friend's family and to you on his loss. I too have lost several friends over the years. This year is my 45th year of riding, it's too late for me to stop now. Even my bad accident (read: animal attack) in 2007 hasn't stopped me. Yes, it's slowed me down due to neck and upper back pain. But I have never seriously considered hanging up the helmet. Especailly due to the loss of my friends. They wouldn't want me to, I'm sure of that in my heart.

This is a very personal issue. How you handle it will make it's self apparent in due course. The loss of my friends has never made me freak out, all I have ever felt was the sense of loss and sorrow for their families and myself. Everyone handles these things differently. No matter if it's by bike accident or illness. The loss of a friend or family member is just that... a terrible loss.

Enjoy your time on the bike, I'm sure that's what your friend would want you to do. [moto]

[dutchy73]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.  I have not lost anyone close to me riding, but my brother is in wheelchair with no movement below his chest because of a motorcycle accident.  I stopped riding for more than four years after.  I never sold my bike though.  It just sat in storage, in part because I couldn't face selling it and in part because I wasn't ready to give up riding entirely.  I told myself that motorcycle riding wasn't going anywhere.  It was something I liked doing, but not something I couldn't live without.  I told myself that if I ever wanted to (or needed to), I could just pick it up again.  Initially, I was ok without riding.  But as time passed, there was an itch that grew and grew and grew.  I wanted to ride.  I needed to ride.  I pulled the old bike out of storage and got it running.  I rode it for a week just to check.  From then I knew that I needed to ride.  I bought my first monster the next week.

There's nothing wrong with taking some time off if you feel need it.  Your bike will still love you.  There have been a few other times where I've taken a few months off after a crash just to get my head right or to get over being freaked out.  Each time, it's the urge to ride that draws me back in.  But being freaked out is a normal response.  It's important to let it sort itself out. 

So give yourself some time off the bike if you feel like you need it.  That time off may stretch into months or years or forever.  Or it may pass.  Like I said, motorcycle riding isn't going anywhere.

Spidey, you're the man. Thanks.

[DesmoDiva]

Very sorry for your loss.   

[scduc]

First off, let me say sorry for your loss. All of us who ride have thoughts that at some point that this could happen to us. We know the dangers, some of us better than others yet we still continue to ride. At any given moment we can be taken out of the game. You will make the right decision when the time is right and no one will fault you.