Geezer Wear

[SacDuc]

I think we are missing the bigger issue here. We have Rat, the standard bearer of eloquence here on the DMF who, with the turn of a phrase, can eviscerate the absurdities and inequities in our society. With only a razor sharp wit he can reduce grown men to silence and tears. With wisdom he can cut to the heart of an argument and dismiss the well worn talking points of the plebeians and sheeple.

And now he is playing fashion police? For shame. And picking on such low hanging fruit as an elderly Floridian. Its like Shaq blocking the shot of a mentally handicapped third grader and then yelling, "In your face TARD!" Its just unnecessary and excessive. Elderly Floridians dress funny. Well knock me over with a feather.

I wonder if we have just witnessed the beginning of Rat's decline. Perhaps his analytical cynicism is giving way to mere grumpiness as the effort "to see things as they actually are" becomes too great. Next up he will be complaining about airline food, long lines and kids these days. The cold and unavailability of a bathroom will be come the day's most pressing issues. In the end he will have only and aluminum lawn chair and a porch. "Get offa' my lawn!" he will yell tritely at the whipper snappers passing by. And the passersby will only shrug at the deranged old man waving his cane, unknowing of the mental prowess he possessed just a few short years ago. When out of ear shot they will ridicule his plaid shorts exposing the knobby knees perched atop black socks cranked all the way up as though no one was looking.

But the decline has just started. Perhaps there is time to get him the help he needs. Who's with me? Should we have a DMF fund raiser for the mental health care of Rat900? I think we owe it to the guy.



sac

[fastwin]

You have beaten me down to a level of depression never before felt. I have no hope left... what's the point anymore? The end is near...  

[Speedbag]

During winter months he wears old school Levi jeans, no belt, and a sweatshirt that looks like it has been to hell and back.

Oh, shit.

I'm a geezer too.

[cyrus buelton]

Oh, shit.

I'm a geezer too.

Nah, didn't call him a geezer (he is 46) just that his mode of dressing is stuck in 1983

[Grappa]

Why do old men pull their pants up to the nipple line?

It's to give extra support to their old man ball sack!   

[cyrus buelton]

Why do old men pull their pants up to the nipple line?

I work with women that aren't old that do that........I haven't figured it out.


Also, why do some women wear bright colored underwear when they have on white, nearly see through pants?

[Howie]

No, that would be tacky!

Why do old men pull their pants up to the nipple line?

When your waist measures larger than your hips you go up one level so your pants don't fall down

Saddle shoes and penny loafers are cool.  Yes, I own a pair of penny loafers

[il d00d]

This reminds me of a story, and it might be urban legend, about an elderly man that went to the doctor for a checkup, and ended up being diagnosed for being orange.  Bright orange.
It went something like this: man appears in a doctor's waiting room, looking like he stepped off the surface of the sun or a steamer basket.  Man is interviewed.  It is determined that to improve his eyesight, he was happily eating all the carrots his wife would feed him.  When the wife was asked if she noticed anything strange, like, I dunno, a certain bright orangeness about him.  No, she said.  And she had been feeding him bushels of carrots a day for years to no apparent negative effect.
I heard this story back in health class in school - the moral at the time was something like, "too much of a good thing" or "gradual processes are nearly imperceptible" or "don't eat so many goddamn carrots that you turn orange."  But now, it is a parable about old age.
I don't think any old people wake up one day and think today I will hike my pants up so high I can't feel my balls.  It is a gradual process, one that can result in orangeness, or knowing what your waist band tastes like.  I doubt too that in any point in a geezer's life up to that point, did he rock a version of that outfit.  In short, it is not a gradual process of selection -black socks, sandals- but a gradual loss of self-awareness.

The key to staying young is making fun of old people.  All the time.  If you weren't so old, you would know this, Methuselah.

[El Matador]

My grandfather would dress in all white pretty regularly. He would wear the full on white patent shoes and white silk suit with the white shirt and tie. Topped off woth patent white belt with gold accents to match his gold tie clip. His favourite attire was a caribbean tux (the one with the white jacket). He would often get confused for a waiter

[ducatiz]

Also, why do some women wear bright colored underwear when they have on white, nearly see through pants?

they want you to look and comment.

go ahead, try it.  they love that.

[SacDuc]

I don't know, I think this dude may have made a conscious choice. Maybe he was a playa' back in his day. Maybe he resents the retiree life of buffets and golf carts he is subjected to now. Maybe he does it specifically to annoy his wife. Maybe he was on his way to visit his old frat brothers who are just going to die laughing when the see him. Maybe he thinks,

"make the beast with two backs it, I'm old and there ain't a god damn soul I have to answer to any more. So I'm just gonna rock this being old and getting to dress goofy as I can. Why? Because make the beast with two backs you that's why!"

I wanna hear the stories this guy has to tell. There's got to be more to it than just bad fashion sense. I bet he's been a make the beast with two backsin' nutter his whole life and has some scars to prove it. I think we tend to forget that old people had young and wild days. That they are all humorless, bitter old sods who look down society as morally corrupt. That is a stereotype. Somebody was banging the football team in 1952. Maybe it was that sweet little old lady down the block. That elderly gentleman in the tweed jacket in front of you in the supermarket check out line? He got herpes from a Thai hooker. His best friend totaled six motorcycles, has seven illegitimate kids and still goes to prostitutes. I'm just saying that grandma hasn't been baking cookies all of her life and grandpa didn't wait for his true love to come along before he got some stinky on his hang down. I'd bet a dollar to a donut this guy's wardrobe is a make the beast with two backs you to the world. He knows that dressing in the punk costume of ripped jeans and leather jacket would be even sadder on an old man than it is on the teenie punk drones. So what the hell do you do if you are 80 and wanna thumb your nose at the world? You take the old man clothes and you crank them up to 11 that's what you do!

I approve!  

sac

[ducatiz]

50 cent-pimp

[SacDuc]

they want you to look and comment.

go ahead, try it.  they love that.

Um, I thought it was universally understood that white pants/shorts meant "I'm not on period and therefore I'm available for sex." No woman leaves the house unaware that you can see her underwear. So wearing bright colors under white pants is basically stating the above but with a bright neon sign.

sac

[cyrus buelton]

they want you to look and comment.

go ahead, try it.  they love that.

I was too busy falling over laughing with my brother and our wives.

She could have at least worn a thong or gone commando

Um, I thought it was universally understood that white pants/shorts meant "I'm not on period and therefore I'm available for sex." No woman leaves the house unaware that you can see her underwear. So wearing bright colors under white pants is basically stating the above but with a bright neon sign.

sac

said women were all with husbands (I ring checked)

These were granny panties..........nothing sexy about them.

[SacDuc]

said women were all with husbands (I ring checked)

These were granny panties..........nothing sexy about them.

So? My statement still stands.

sac