Don't Mess With the Locals.

[Artful]

So last night I'm driving my 1990 Golf home from work and it's foul and nasty out. Suddenly all I can see in my rearview is crappy 8000k Autozone headlight bulbs shaped like a Civic hatch. He's riding my ass so close that I can't see his headlights in a Golf so low that it scrapes on high speed bumps.

I'm in no rush, I'm tired from a day of work, so I'm in no mood to put up with his shenanigans.

So I chug under the speed limit, it's a one lane at this point so he is weaving back and forth behind me unable to do anything. The next light has a right hand turn lane though, so as I stop he rips around me and gets in the turn lane... but doesn't turn. So obviously as soon as the light turns green he intends on smoking me off the light and whipping in front of me before the line of parked cars in the lane ahead of him.

I've spent a fair amount of time at the drag strip in my day, this punk was not going to beat me on RT.

So I jump him off the light and prevent the pass. Now he's REALLY pissed, honking and flashing his lights. The lane opens up into a two lane, but there is a car in the second lane so I set up a rolling roadblock with the unwitting other driver. I gas it a little to get out in front, he whips behind me and hops on my ass. I slow down to let the other car slightly ahead and he whips into the other lane, so I speed up again. I'm torturing this poor impatient bastard.

Here's where the master stroke comes into play. I gas it, HARD (well, 79whp worth of hard). He tears it up behind me and I finally give him room to pass me. He blows by me with his finger out the window on the horn and I gas it a little to keep with him. We're probably doing 60 or so in a 30.

I pound the brakes. I slow down to about 25. I let out my best evil villain cackle as he blows through the next intersection at 70.

The flash of the speed camera illuminates my maniacal grin.

[lethe]

 

[Grampa]

as funny as it sounds in text...... a family was killed here in town last year because of two guys who did the exact same thing.


I know..... I'm the buzz killer this morning.

[Artful]

You drank my milkshake... 

[ungeheuer]

as funny as it sounds in text...... a family was killed here in town last year because of two guys who did the exact same thing.

...Why... you... you... absolute BASTARD, Artful 

[metallimonster]

Look, I'm all for this and I hate assholes like that but I would say you took it to far.

Good way to get shot if you ask me.

[LMT]

Were you texting at the same time?

[Artful]

Look, I'm all for this and I hate assholes like that but I would say you took it to far.

Good way to get shot if you ask me.

Meh, I don't live in fear. I'm more likely to be the guy sneering "get off my lawn" over an M1 carbine than the cowering asian family next door. I live in Baltimore. That in itself is a good way to get shot.

And obviously I was tweeting and posting to Facebook at the same time, isn't that what you're supposed to do while you're driving?

[SacDuc]

Sooooooo . . . . this guy was driving like an asshole and your brilliant plan to deal with that is to . . . drive like an asshole?





sac

[Johnny OrganDonor]

   Second that.
Sorry, it's so much easier, safer, and less stressful for all concerned just to wave them on by. In emergencies, I've had to drive like a dick.  Could you be certain they just weren't trying to get to a hospital or something?  Even if that's not the case, what if someone was walking across the intersection at the moment of your triumph.

[Artful]

Two wrongs make a right, don't they...?

Honestly though other than making sure I started rolling the split second the light turned green and accelerating a 20 year old anemic car up to 60 on an open stretch of straight two lane road I was going under the speed limit the whole time. I didn't peel off the light or anything, there was parked traffic immediately after the light in his lane so it wasn't a drag race in terms of speed, just making sure I got off the light first, not fastest. When I hit the brakes there was no one behind me. If I had driven the way I did without him driving like an idiot behind me, a casual observer would not have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

I find that the best way to frustrate the hell out of a road raging driver is to just drive smooth like you barely even know they are back there.

[Howie]

Most of us, on occasion, fall into the same trap as you did.  Usually it works out OK.  In your case it worked out rather good.  What if a minivan transporting a family was struck by the other vehicle?

[zooom]

ya know...to the opinions of dissent...it does take 2 to tango...

[Artful]

What if a fire-breathing two headed monster escaped from government captivity and rampaged on the city burninating the thatched roof cottages and the local orphanage because the guy behind me was the only man in the city with the key card made of unobtanium that could reactivate the electric gate that contained said monster?

What if a minivan full of children was going through the intersection seconds BEFORE we came down the road slightly above the 40mph limit? I could have saved their lives by inconveniencing the guy driving like a maniac that came up behind me at easily 70 initially by taking innocent lives into my hands and going 30 in front of him...

Phew, I could be a friggin' theoretical hero!   I demand my key to the city.

[sbrguy]

remember what you did the next time you go riding.

a LOT of people like to "teach someone a lesson" on a motorcycle by potentially running them off the road or such for no reason except that we are on their road and annoying and taking up too much room that could be taken up by a car.  stupid thinking by them but way too many people think exactly that "want to teach someone a lesson"

Remember its not our jobs to teach someone a lesson about how to drive better or such, that is the job of the  when on duty.

anyway this is all neither here nor there.  do what you like to do.