ATGNFI

[SacDuc]

You guys are stupid for wearing your seatbelts.
by SacDuc



Hands up those of you who got a drivers license because driving is a safe and convenient way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.

Now, hands up those of you who think child safety seats and all the air bags you can cram into your dash and doors makes you and your kids safer in a car.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.

Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you got in a car accident. You know, like the other car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tires, or the Harley sticker on your window was blocking your view?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of assclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to ducpainter demanding him to ban SacDuc.

How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?

Pretty much like driving then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.

Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you eyes front, non-texting losers, with your "ten and two" death grip on the wheel spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and semi-trucks every day. But just because there are a lot of you doesn't actually mean you have any right to drive among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the driving world.

I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “car” forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own cars”) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various parking lots and public "drag strips" preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.

You are the CIOT (Click It or Ticket) morons. You should rename yourself CLANFI and (Click It and No make the beast with two backsing Idea), as my pal Bacon suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all of the Sparco Racing Seats on this great planet, surrounded by the maximum amount of airbags possible is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap driver. And as you're being turned into a crushed tin can under the front axle of a diesel locomotive, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy COIT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black choo-choo train.
“Oh, but it will keep me from being thrown from the vehicle,” I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defense.

Not getting hit by a train will keep you in your vehicle a lot better, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some pals and I took a guy with a learner's permit out for his first drive. Petey bought a car on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 310.685 mile day.

Normally, my pals and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the CIANFI garbage. You might have to drive a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Petey being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wombatville, which as any Wombatvillian driver knows, is a very popular place to drive to on the weekend.

As we approached the notorious Wombat Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three cars. Two Corvettes and a Porcshe. All piped up and growling under the asses of the most gloriously strapped in CIANFIs ever. Their brand new, top-shelf five-point harnesses, racing seats, driving gloves and side impact airbags were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.

Then it went green, and because I had a pregnant dogin' Camaro Z28, bobspapa had a Mustang 5.0, and Bacon had a brand new 2010 Thunderbird, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.

Apparently, as Petey with the learner's permit told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged at by smelly drop top with no roll bar driving, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags in very large and stupid Cadillac DeVilles apparently caused one of the CIANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 18.641 mph. Right in front of Petey, who was swerving merrily along as guys with learner's permits do.
“Why did he crash?” Petey asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.”

“He crashed because he was a dickhead that couldn't drive,” I answered.
“But he had that really nice spoiler. He looked like he could really bang.”

“Looks are deceiving,” I shrugged. “Those CIANFI knob-smokers are like an Orange County Chopper. OCC bikes may look sensational in driveways and parking lots. But they are masters of deception. Get them on the road and they're sad, oddly shaped and over weight with no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the CIANFIs.”
I wish you all a great and good festive season.

[Cloner]

 

How's the "new" SS running, Sac?   [moto]

[zooom]

wow Sac.....bored?...

BTW...did you run over your neighbor with that pregnant dogin Camaro?

[SacDuc]

wow Sac.....bored?...

BTW...did you run over your neighbor with that pregnant dogin Camaro?

I did the bulk of that while on hold with an appliance company for 5 minutes. Just changed a few words Even had time to do the accurate Km to miles conversion. 

sac

[rideserotta]

sac... 

[Heath]

sac... 

+1 

[DoubleEagle]

You guys are stupid for wearing your seatbelts.
by SacDuc



Hands up those of you who got a drivers license because driving is a safe and convenient way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.

Now, hands up those of you who think child safety seats and all the air bags you can cram into your dash and doors makes you and your kids safer in a car.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.

Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you got in a car accident. You know, like the other car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tires, or the Harley sticker on your window was blocking your view?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of assclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to ducpainter demanding him to ban SacDuc.

How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?

Pretty much like driving then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.

Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you eyes front, non-texting losers, with your "ten and two" death grip on the wheel spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and semi-trucks every day. But just because there are a lot of you doesn't actually mean you have any right to drive among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the driving world.

I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “car” forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own cars”) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various parking lots and public "drag strips" preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.

You are the CIOT (Click It or Ticket) morons. You should rename yourself CLANFI and (Click It and No make the beast with two backsing Idea), as my pal Bacon suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all of the Sparco Racing Seats on this great planet, surrounded by the maximum amount of airbags possible is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap driver. And as you're being turned into a crushed tin can under the front axle of a diesel locomotive, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy COIT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black choo-choo train.
“Oh, but it will keep me from being thrown from the vehicle,” I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defense.

Not getting hit by a train will keep you in your vehicle a lot better, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some pals and I took a guy with a learner's permit out for his first drive. Petey bought a car on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 310.685 mile day.

Normally, my pals and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the CIANFI garbage. You might have to drive a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Petey being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wombatville, which as any Wombatvillian driver knows, is a very popular place to drive to on the weekend.

As we approached the notorious Wombat Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three cars. Two Corvettes and a Porcshe. All piped up and growling under the asses of the most gloriously strapped in CIANFIs ever. Their brand new, top-shelf five-point harnesses, racing seats, driving gloves and side impact airbags were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.

Then it went green, and because I had a pregnant dogin' Camaro Z28, bobspapa had a Mustang 5.0, and Bacon had a brand new 2010 Thunderbird, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.

Apparently, as Petey with the learner's permit told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged at by smelly drop top with no roll bar driving, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags in very large and stupid Cadillac DeVilles apparently caused one of the CIANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 18.641 mph. Right in front of Petey, who was swerving merrily along as guys with learner's permits do.
“Why did he crash?” Petey asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.”

“He crashed because he was a dickhead that couldn't drive,” I answered.
“But he had that really nice spoiler. He looked like he could really bang.”

“Looks are deceiving,” I shrugged. “Those CIANFI knob-smokers are like an Orange County Chopper. OCC bikes may look sensational in driveways and parking lots. But they are masters of deception. Get them on the road and they're sad, oddly shaped and over weight with no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the CIANFIs.”
I wish you all a great and good festive season.

Good job...WWTDWS.........( Wonder What The Dickhead Would Say ? )

Dolph

[Justo]

[Insert pissing myself icon]

[koko64]

As an Australian, I particularly liked Wombat Corner.

A nice touch.

[duclvr]

 

[Betty]

As an Australian, I particularly liked Wombat Corner.

A nice touch.

Ditto.

But as an Australian with a knowledge of the roads in and out of Wollombi ... you may not realise just how apt that description is.

[koko64]

Anyone able to put up a picture of a wombat for our o/s forum mates to see? A big fat one if possible.

Also, anyone hit one?

[SacDuc]

Anyone able to put up a picture of a wombat for our o/s forum mates to see? A big fat one if possible.

Also, anyone hit one?

Ask and you shall receive.

[koko64]

Ask and you shall receive.

Thank You.

[Betty]

That one's just a baby.

There is nothing like coming around a corner and being confronted with a dead wombat on your riding line ... bloated to the size of a small elephant as they rapidly decompose internally. Perhaps this was the reason the guy in the original article came a cropper ... or perhaps why he was wearing full gear in the first place.