ATGNFI

[gregrnel]

Bottom line, this guy is an over-generalizing dick.

[Betty]

Your buddy is calling other motorcyclists "insufferable dickheads" while writing an article like that. Pot. Kettle.

Boris writes like that because he is an insufferable dickhead and as Stoppie mentioned he is being provacative ... in a way you fell for it. But you added a thoughtful and considered response to the debate. If you take away the abrasiveniess of his King Knobbhead writing style ... you both raise some good points.

My question is ... would this be published in a mainstream publication anywhere else in the world?

Oh and as my skills and knowledge have grown I have become more ATGNFI

sneaky edit: Don kinda beat me to some of it.

[SacDuc]

I think this article needs more comment (as well as name calling because, well, he started it!) because not only is it horribly arrogant but I think this attitude is actually counterproductive when it comes to making out roads safer from poorly skilled motorcycle riders.

When I first read this I thought it was one of the better pieces of motorcycle satire I had ever read. I was literally laughing out loud. Funny stuff. And it may be. In which case it fooled me and it is make the beast with two backsing brilliant! Kudos to the author if he strapped on a douchebag persona to make a point. The self-contradiction and over the top attitude were executed flawlessly!

But I'm going to address this as though it was written seriously because I have a low enough opinion of humanity to believe that jagoffs like this can actually exist.

So I'll just go through it paragraph by paragraph:

ATGANFI

Hands up those of you who took up motorcycling because it was a safe and economical way of getting around.
Yes. OK. Go stand over there.

Now, hands up those of you who think fluoro vests and all the passive safety gear your credit card can buy makes you safer on a bike.
Good. You lot go and stand with the other idiots.

First NO ONE buys a motorcycle because it is a "safe way of getting around." We all know the risks. As for passive safety gear, well mister article writer, you blew your wad early this time. If you wanted to make the point that learning to ride better is better protection than reflective stickers you didn't have to spend two pages being a douchebag about it. What's that? "Go stand with the other idiots." Oh, I see we've gotten to the douchebaggery already.

Let's now have a show of hands from the people who think there's always some external reason why you fell off your motorcycle. You know, like the car didn't see you, or there was gravel on the road, or you had new tyres, or the camber on the corner you missed was all wrong?
Excellent. Please go and join the burgeoning crowd of arseclowns who are now milling in confusion and angrily trembling with the intent to write hysterical emails to AMCN calling for my instant dismissal.

How's that worked for you in the past?
Not well, huh?

Okay. Good point there. Could have done without the self-aggrandizing at the end there, but that's okay. Telling people that they should examine there own riding abilities and decisions when they wreck is great. It probably was the rider's fault. But why so douchey about it?

Pretty much like motorcycling then, which is not working for you at all, and which subsequently begs the question: Why are you even doing it?
Because you're not doing it properly.
No, really. You're not.

Yes, yes, I know that there are lots of you stiff-backed, frozen-in-place mouthbreathers spearing off our roads and into poles, trees and car radiators every weekend. But just cos there's lots of you, doesn't actually mean you have any right to ride among us. You are like cockroaches in that regard, and have, through your government-backed proliferation and ensuing ubiquity, become the vermin of the motorcycling world.

Not doing it properly? Okay now we are getting somewhere! You got our attention and now you are going to lay out your well seasoned plan on how to go about riding motorcycles properly! Right? Right? Oh you are just gonna do some name calling. Bummer. Maybe the next paragraph will offer some insight.

I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “motorcycle” forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own bikes”) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various Macca's carparks preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.

Vacuous garbage is much more worthwhile when it is written by professionals.

I see you all the time. I read your vacuous garbage on various “motorcycle” forums (which should actually be renamed “forums full of insufferable dickheads who own bikes”) and on any Sunday, I see you all clustered in various Macca's carparks preparing to head out on the roads and crash your worthless brains out.

You are the ATGATT (All The Gear All The Time) morons. You should rename yourself ATGANFI (All The Gear And No F**ken Idea), as my mate Frog suggested.
Because what none of you imbeciles seem to get is that not all the gear on this great planet, covered by all the fluoro ever made, is going to save you from, or make up for you being a crap rider. And as you're being turned into a greasy kebab under front axle of a nice truck, you'll be shocked to find your smarmy ATGATT attitude contributed absolutely nothing to preventing you from exchanging fluids with a big black Goodyear.
“Oh, but it will mitigate the injuries,” I hear you squeal, as if that's some kind of defence.

Not falling off will mitigate them a lot more, don't you think?
A few weeks ago, some mates and I took an L-Plater out for his first ride. Paul bought a bike on Wednesday, on Sunday he was busily clocking up a 500km day.

Hey you guys have nicknames! That's cool! We do too! Finally there is your thesis statement, right there: "Good gear won't make up for being a bad rider." You are absolutely correct. We should all try to improve our riding. Brilliant. Good point. Your only point as far as I can see. Yet there are more words. Why? Why are there more words?

Normally, my mates and I head for roads that are joyfully free of the ATGANFI garbage. You might have to ride a bit further out, but that's a small price to pay for cop-and-fool-free bitumen.
But this Sunday was a little different due to Paul being with us, and we ended up on our way to Wollombi, which as any Sydney rider knows, is a very popular place to ride to on the weekend.

As we approached the notorious Lemming Corner, we noticed a red roadwork traffic light, and three bikes. Two R1s and a Gixxer. All piped up and growling between the thighs of the most gloriously attired ATGANFIs ever. Their brand new top-shelf leathers, boots, gloves and helmets were just breathtaking, and my friends and I had lots of time to admire them, since the red light was taking its sweet time.

Then it went green, and because I had a VMAX, The Door had a Rocket III, and Crew had a Speed Triple, we all raced the ATGANFIs to the first corner, and on towards the pub. Which is what happens on any Sunday.
We won.

So this is what made me think this is satire. I'm mean its just make the beast with two backsing absurd that someone so concerned about riders safety would egg on new riders with a make the beast with two backsing drag race on public roads. This is satire right? Tell me I'm an idiot and this is satire. Hopefully I'm the one being the douchebag here. If not then here's a Safe Riding Tip just for you: when at a stop light with new riders on stupidly over powered bikes, LET THEM GO! Let them take the lead. Follow them for a a few turns. Observe them. Then pass them when it is safe. When they show up at the next stop chit chat with them. Mention that you saw them do X and maybe they should try Y next time. That might be helpful.

Apparently, as Paul the L-plater told me when he got to the pub, being rounded up and pregnant doged by smelly open-face helmet wearing, not-thinking-of-the-children scumbags on very large and stupid non-sports motorcycles apparently caused one of the ATGANFIs to take fright. So he crashed on the third corner after the red light at about 30km/h. Right in front of Paul, who was wobbling merrily along as L-platers do.
“Why did he fall off?” Paul asked. “It's not like he was going very fast.”

“He fell off because he was a dickhead that couldn't ride,” I answered.
“But he had all that really nice gear. He looked like he could really bang.”

“Looks are deceiving,” I shrugged. “Those ATGANFI knob-smokers are like fake boobs. Fake boobs look sensational in dresses and sexy tops. But they are masters of deception. Get them naked and alone and they're nothing but sad, misshapen fleshsacks of no integrity. They promise much, but deliver nothing and invariably disappoint with their performance. Just like the ATGANFIs.”
I wish you all a great and good festive season.

Well wasn't that just a little douche-cherry on top of your arrogance sundae. The guy that crashed rode over his head. Dumb indeed. Probably lots he could have done differently. Yet you don't offer one word worth of constructive criticism to those of us who know that we still have a lot to learn. Thanks for nothing. AndI still don't quite see the need to ridicule the fact that he was wearing gear when he crashed.

This was satire, right?

sac



/please tell me this was satire

[Travman]

Those of us that live in the land of Oz know Boris's BS well, he is just like any shock jock radio announcer (but in mag form), yelling and and screaming the same shit over and over to make an name for himself. You know he actually gets paid for this shit. What a make the beast with two backswit. 

Knowing that makes it easier to swallow.  I should have known.  Those last few paragraphs were over the top.  

I used to listen to Howard Stern (shock jock in the U.S.) back in the day.  I'm sure I'd agree with most of what he said, but if you isolated it and read it back to me it would probably be offensive.  

[SacDuc]

Those of us that live in the land of Oz know Boris's BS well, he is just like any shock jock radio announcer (but in mag form), yelling and and screaming the same shit over and over to make an name for himself. You know he actually gets paid for this shit. What a make the beast with two backswit. 

Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too.  I need an agent.


sac


/really, that's not satire?

[sbrguy]

you guys missed it, he was supposed to be "that guy" that is egotistical.

that was the point of the article, he is the one calling other riders, losers and morons, but the point of it was that when you get so full of yourself, you then become exactly the thing that you hate.

also if you see the article he is basically saying everyone else has no skills, but really puts nothing out there to say that he has any skills himself.  meaning he is "that guy" the article is written from the point of view of a squid, the very people that many people say give motorcyclist a bad name, so what he is doing is saying how in his view the gear guys give motorcyclists a bad name since theya re the ones still crashing and giving motorcyclists a bad name.

interesting article but basically its typical "shock jock radio" like another poster mentioned, its all fluff, you just have to realize what he is trying to say, which i think is, stop being judgemental of others just ride your ride.

[SacDuc]

bigian,

I'm curious, is this guy really a friend of yours? Just a casual acquaintance through the moto community? Are you just trying to get him some hits on his website?

Sorry for all the name calling and such. I know its not allowed and you can ban me or whatever, but I'm really curious if this guy is like that in real life or if it is just his schtick as a writer.

sac

[SacDuc]

you guys missed it, he was supposed to be "that guy" that is egotistical.

that was the point of the article, he is the one calling other riders, losers and morons, but the point of it was that when you get so full of yourself, you then become exactly the thing that you hate.

also if you see the article he is basically saying everyone else has no skills, but really puts nothing out there to say that he has any skills himself.  meaning he is "that guy" the article is written from the point of view of a squid, the very people that many people say give motorcyclist a bad name, so what he is doing is saying how in his view the gear guys give motorcyclists a bad name since theya re the ones still crashing and giving motorcyclists a bad name.

interesting article but basically its typical "shock jock radio" like another poster mentioned, its all fluff, you just have to realize what he is trying to say, which i think is, stop being judgemental of others just ride your ride.

So it is satire?

sac

[Betty]

OK Sac this has gone on far enough ... the guy is not a douchebag, he is Australian ... so that makes him a wanker! A somewhat self-obsessed, obnoxious, shit-stirring wanker - who in the time honoured Australian tradition takes the piss out of things

[The Don]

Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too.  I need an agent.


sac


/really, that's not satire?

you better believe it, I'm yet to meet someone that agrees with or actually likes what he writes. From my group of friend it goes something like this, read one or two article that he has written in AMCN call him a few expletives and never read his crap again, or like me I stopped buying AMCN. I thought that would be the last I would here of him. PLEASE DO NOT LET HIS NONSCENCE ON HERE AGAIN YOUR BREAKING MY BALLS

[sbrguy]

who knows if its really satire, i think it is that is what i'm taking from it.

afterall when someone writes something so over the top and offensive and stupid its either one of two things.

1. the person really is that ignorant and stupid

2. the person meant it to be really crazy and over the top.

i think its 2, afterall if he is a shock jock and gets paid boat loads of money to do this stuff, he knows what buttons to push to set people off and is good enough at it to know what to do to get someone to pay him money to do so.  the person may be offensive and repulsive, but that in and of itself knowning how to get paid for something very well shows an intelligent person to some degree thus eliminating option 1 in my view.

[bigiain]

bigian,

I'm curious, is this guy really a friend of yours? Just a casual acquaintance through the moto community? Are you just trying to get him some hits on his website?

Yeah, I consider him a good friend. I ride with him quite a bit. He's smart, surprisingly well informed, and a great person to have an argument with. (And no, thispost wasn't about hits to his site, it was all about seeing how the discussion would go over here about it.

Sorry for all the name calling and such. I know its not allowed and you can ban me or whatever,

Seriously? I think I can take everything you've dished up in this thread :-)

but I'm really curious if this guy is like that in real life or if it is just his schtick as a writer.

He's actually even more like this in "real life" than you can possibly imagine - _BUT_ he's got a great manner of backing up what he says, and will happily argue, attempt to convince you, allow you to attempt to convince him, and even occasionally be convinced by your arguments and admit he was wrong. But he's often right, even if he expresses it in an over-the-top fashion.

I can fully understand why some people find him not worth listening too (he's clearly lost The Don as a reader), but I find the nuggets of truth and the differing point of view that occasionally come out in his writing/opinions fascinating...

[SacDuc]

Yeah, I consider him a good friend. I ride with him quite a bit. He's smart, surprisingly well informed, and a great person to have an argument with. (And no, thispost wasn't about hits to his site, it was all about seeing how the discussion would go over here about it.

Seriously? I think I can take everything you've dished up in this thread :-)

He's actually even more like this in "real life" than you can possibly imagine - _BUT_ he's got a great manner of backing up what he says, and will happily argue, attempt to convince you, allow you to attempt to convince him, and even occasionally be convinced by your arguments and admit he was wrong. But he's often right, even if he expresses it in an over-the-top fashion.

I can fully understand why some people find him not worth listening too (he's clearly lost The Don as a reader), but I find the nuggets of truth and the differing point of view that occasionally come out in his writing/opinions fascinating...

Well then  . . . um, er  . . . so  . . . um, yeah. I guess I don't see a different point of view here at all. All he said in the article is that people need to realize that learning to ride better will help avoid serious injury better than the best gear can. Not an unpopular view nor a groundbreaking thought. Not original at all really. Being all pissy about it is one way to put a twist on the topic, but it certainly doesn't make it any more informative. It just makes a good point sound . . . well, pissy.

I'm clearly not familiar with his body of work. Is this guy purely a commentator/critic? Does he just spout off opinion about the motorcycling community? Or does he write informative "how to" type articles or bikes reviews or something?

Also, what does he wear when he rides and has he ever crashed?

sac

[Grampa]

Seriously? Someone gives him money for that drivel? make the beast with two backs me! I write better than that dude. And as anyone on this forum knows I can be just as much of a douchebag sometimes too.  I need an agent.


sac


/really, that's not satire?

I'll be thy agent


10%

[bigiain]

I guess I should explain what it was in this piece that resonated with me...

I remember back ~10 years ago, when I had a whole year or two of riding experience, and I was _always_ handing out full-of-myself advice to newer riders. I was a complete gear nazi back then (I don't think ATGATT was in wide use, at least not in Sydney in '98 or '99).

I was _probably_ insufferable. I'd scorn and deride people who _I_ thought were "not wearing appropriate gear", or riding in a way I considered dangerous, or didn't share any of another bunch of ill informed opinions I held at the time. ("You ordered a beer at lunch? While on your bike? You're an idiot!" - yeah, I was one of _those_ guys...)

But I've mellowed.

These days, I find people who choose the ATGATT philosophy for themselves interesting. When Spidey shows up at Zeitgeist, 12 blocks from his place, in race boots and full leathers and a back protector, I smile with a mixture of amusement and surprise. _BUT_ I don't have a wife and two kids and a mortgage supplied by a professional career that'd be _severely_ impacted by a 4 week hospital stay. So I just smirk t him (actually, it's Spidey, I probably stir him about it, but that's 'cause of _him_, not the ATGATT).

It's the people like I used to be that annoy me - the ones who want to tell me what _my_ opinion of appropriate gear should be.

Where I come from, the ATGATT crowd are _much_ more likely to be the evangelical doorknocking style safetygear preachers who assume I haven't thought about the issue, and that I don't have valid and reasonable arguments about when I choose to wear ATG, and when I choose to wear less that ATG. I know that a much bigger part of the risk of injury to me is _my_ state of mind and the manner I'm currently choosing to ride.

It's the uninformed advising the experienced that annoys me. And Boris rails long and hard about the uninformed offering "advice" to the even less informed. And I know I used to be one of them, and in retrospect I was fully deserving all the scorn and derision Boris is heaping on people like I used to be...

big