I remember going through the grieving process, and feeling resentment whenever someone said "Sorry for your loss". My thinking was "No, you're not really sorry for my loss. You are sorry because you don't know what to say." And whenever anyone said "I know how you feel", I remember thinking "No, you don't know how I feel. Unless you lost a child of your own, or a very close facsimile, you have no way to understand how I feel." And whenever people would give me the 'sad and concerned' face, it was like they wanted me to cry in front of them too, like some sort of side show freak.
What I'm trying to say is that there is nothing that anyone can say or do that will magically make things better.
Very well stated. I feel the same way and never bring up a loss with friends or coworkers. I never know how they are handling it, and the last thing I want to do is respark the pain when they probably just spent the last three hours trying to block it out of their minds just so they can try to function in a somewhat normal fashion.