going to have to say goodbye to my dog

[booger]

I'm going to have to say goodbye to my dear sweet angel baby, the light of my life for 14 and a half years, sometime this week. 75 lb labradoodle. Before I met her I really didn't care for dogs. She has taught me so much about how to be a real human being. She has provided me with comfort on some very very dark days. She has given me innumerable laughs. She has stolen my heart. Multiple health issues have appeared over the past month, and believe you me I have tried to address them but they are far too complex and serious and overwhelming now at her age. I remember her when she was a pup, she was only around 12" long or so give or take. She grew quick. Such an athlete too. Such a clown. The sweetest disposition ever. So very tolerant of people, she loved people especially kids.

She is my first dog. I am 48. Though I have no children, she is my child. I am grieving heavily now as she naps. She has stopped eating. I can hear her stomach rumble but she will not eat, not even roast beef. Her body is shutting down little by little. It all happened so fast.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm having a really hard time with this.

[Stella]

I completely feel your pain.

I've had a number of pets throughout my life but the one I bonded with most was my Boxer Brian (shared for many years with Randimus here on the board). 

Brian and I had our own language and he was my child in a sense (I'm also without human kids, by choice).

He had orthopedic issues from the get go but went on to live a pretty good life.  Towards the end, he started developing some internal/digestive issues that were remedied by hydrolyzed proteins.  That went on for a few months and then boom.  A call from a dog sitter while I was out of town for a work event 4 hours away that he couldn't stand sent me rushing home late at night.

Midnight visit to the ER determined a brain tumor.  Several days later we said goodbye.  I miss the other ones too but the hole this one left in my heart is so much greater.

As with most things, time makes it easier to deal.

Fortunately, people around me understand but I've heard others being told to "get over it....get a replacement...it's just a dog...."   

The grieving is no different than that of a human.  For me anyway. 

One of the members here, who's no longer with us (Rat900) gave me the best advise with a foster I had who was dying and who I felt should eat something:   Rotisserie chicken and the juices were his suggestion.  That was a hit for that one for her last few days even though it was only a little.  Maybe try that?

Feel free to PM if you want to chat more off of this thread (or here is fine too).   Huge hugs to you both.

[booger]

Thank you. Really. This is going to wreck me for a very long time. The aftermath, all her stuff & what to do with it. She has 14 1/2 years worth of birthday toys, a lot of uneaten food & treats, parkas, socks, harnesses, blankies, three beds, car blankies, etc. I've cried for days now and it isn't going to stop. I'm glad in a way that I have to work from home, so that I can be here for her all day. She is in reality, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Truly living proof there is a God. And I have prayed to Him. In His mercy he has timed it so I could be here for her.

[Stella]

Don't get rid of anything for a while.   

Some time had passed before I donated the food.  Then about a year later, some of his toys that he never really cared for.  I still have supplements in a container (I don't know why I can't throw those out yet), and I have his favorite toys, his beds, food bowls.... I don't anticipate ever getting rid of those.

Consider reaching out to a therapist / counselor who has experience with pet loss.  Your local shelter likely has some recommendations including books and web links that you might find useful.

I felt really fortunate that the last few months of Brian's life, I was home the majority of the time studying and was able to be with him, unbeknownst that he'd pass soon after.  It was a gift, just like this current "stay home" policy, that I'm so grateful for.

[Howie]

Sorry to hear this.

The only advice I can offer is some people just won't get your loss.  Understand that and don't let them get you down.

[ute]

This is one of the hardest times you will have ...stay strong and when the time is right another pup will be in your life

My thoughts are with you

[Monsterlover]

Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel your pain as well.

My dog was to me what yours seems to have been for you. I had to let Sara go in 2014.  She was 14.  Tuesday  morning she was fine, Tuesday afternoon she had a seizure. Wednesday I had to let her go. That was 6 years ago and I still tear up thinking about here. Now as I write this even.

Like Stella, the hole left behind is huge and, for me, is permanent. I don't know if I'll ever have another dog. Maybe, who knows?

I still have her collar and leash. And her blanket.

There's nothing anyone can tell you that will make any of this easier. I guess, take some solace in knowing that your dog had a great, amazing, full life because of you.  That matters.  To her, you are everything. She feels the same about you that you do about her.

[DarkMonster620]

It's gonna hurt, it will last, in my case I have a son of this particular one, each of the ones I have had, have left a hole, well, a void, each was special in its own.

They are a part of ones life, you will learn how to have them close to you without having them.

As Stella says, try some rotisserie chicken, maybe, that will put a smile on your face

We are here, DMF is not only Ducati, is also about the people

[Monsterlover]

Well said

[booger]

Thank you all for your kindness. I always felt as though I did not deserve her, as she is the closest to perfection I have ever seen. 100% love. Indeed I will hurt for a long time and I will miss her for the rest of my life.

[Randimus Maximus]

Sorry to hear this.

Definitely tough to say goodbye, whether it is temporary (I moved to TX from CO a little more than a year before Brian went across the rainbow bridge) or forever. 

And there will always be little signs.

Like today.  I went out this afternoon to get my mail.  One of my neighbors was walking their Boxer, Tyson.  I've had a few interactions with him and he recognizes me from a block away.  Sometimes, his hoomans (I haven't met them all) don't know he isn't being disobedient, he just wants to say hello to me.  I got to say hello to him today.

Then, I came back inside and popped on here for a minute.

Saw your post.

 

Wishing you the best in the next few days, and the future.

[LMT]

I too, feel your pain. My dog is 9 and getting older. I have no children, and the Lucy dog is it. Over the years I have lost the Owen dog, the Rocky dog, and the cats Rudy, Goose and Henrietta. I have all their collars, tags, and favorite toys.

Their loss is with me every day in small ways.

Hugs to you.

[Speedbag]

Sorry about your pooch. 

I have a big orange tomcat named Lucy that just turned 16 the first week of April. Best dog I've ever had. He's in good health and all at the moment, but the ever looming specter is in the back of my mind given his age and other recent events in my existence. He better live to be really old.

Losing a IZ_ buddy is among the worst. 

[triangleforge]

It's really hard no matter how you slice it. We just lost our 18 year old sweetie Fluffy, and while it was her time, it was still hard to say goodbye.

Spend as much time with her as you can, because you are probably even more important to her than vice versa, and feel what you need to feel. The good ones are worth missing a lot.

[booger]

Thank you all for your kindness. I really need it. This afternoon we take Yoyo across the rainbow bridge, and not a moment too soon. Her body is closing up shop, and the look in her beautiful eyes is telling me she wants to go home.