help me teach kids a lesson or get the f*ck off my roof

[KnightofNi]

give me $100 and gas money, ill kick all their asses. For $1000 ill make sure they are missing something from their body. a physical part.....

we only want to injure or mentally scar them, not maim.

[MikeZ]

Now I lived in the back of the cul de sac as mentioned and the parking lot of my complex had about a three foot drop from street level, and I was diving a big ol' hotrod Chevy pick-up at the time. I came home the last time they ever did that and saw several of these punks walking away and several just clearing the edge of my building. I gunned the truck up over that dip, launching it into the air, and came down in a sideways skid aimed right at them. The look of terror was priceless. The truck barely came to a stop before I was out the door, I walked up to them and said "what the make the beast with two backs have I told you about crossing my yard?" Then I told them the next time I caught them I was gonna light their asses up then drag them back to their parents house on a chain behind my truck. I sent them back through the fence and made them walk around.

That is make the beast with two backsin great. .

[muscle_cars_only]

Load the roof edges and top edge down with fox piss.............Trust me they won't be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kyna]

One of the people on my street had a sprinkler on their garage roof, right down the middle of the peak.  It's "misted" the entire roof.  No clue why he had it, but something like that could be turned on and at least soak the brats if they stuck around.  It's hard to climb anything with phenomia.  No damage to roof and less likely to get sued.

The glass on the roof thing - trespassers actually can sue you for an injury you knowingly cause...I vaguely remember from law school a case with a gun wired to a door of an abandoned cabin...

[cutter]

well I took some action based on some of the suggestions here. I realized I have one particular deterrent in plentiful supply, which is dog shit. I was due to pick it up from the yard, so instead of chucking it, I smeared it all over the roof edges where they grab onto.  Alot of it was dried out so I left it up there as a gravely substitute. I'm sure it being friday night they'll be back, I will probably be out but I have a feeling I'll know if they get there hands in it. Great thing is I can just keep smearing the dog shit up there every other day. I know there are other routes up onto the roof so its not a full deterrent.

Perhaps they'll escalate, but who knows. I'll report back. Next step is oil or something slick, or something sticky- I have some roof patch but i think it will harden up pretty quick.

[tonyj311]

just keep a water hose handy. I spray my cats when they dont behave and that seems to work pretty well.

[m0t0g0th]

"Let's see you climb up on the roof now, pregnant doges! [insane laughter]"

^ THIS.   

but, yeah.  flash pictures means you have to get out of bed but it ALSO means you have 100% high-road; evidence and no damage to poor little children.

damn, almost makes me wish i hated my neighbors again.  they've been so cool lately..

[cutter]

well there is definitely some poop displacement as of today... the really good and wet smeared stuff was on the ground so somebody got shit fingers.

there were also a few big rocks up there, I'm not sure what they were thinking.... I didn't change the poop at all, but I did put some roofing tar on the place where they were stepping on the fence on my property, just for me to more easily tell if they are stopping by.

I think if they keep coming I'll just sit up there wearing black with a 6 pack and have a little talk when they come and visit.  If they're nice I'll let them climb down.

[Scottish]

LOL, I love it! Awesome, "poop fingers" you may want to trademark that.

[Adamm0621]

If too much of the poop is dry, put it in a bucket, mix in some water, and stir.  We used this technique to give an asshole's car a shit wash.

[Monsterlover]

^ 

Oh man, awesome!

[TiNi]

 

you guys are

[Monsterlover]

Yeah,

We are.

[lauramonster]

That's what keeps me reading these threads. 

Such ingenuity.

so much evil, so little time....

[cyrus buelton]

Buy a 12gauge pump shotgun.