I have been feeling jumpy ,angry unfocused and getting depressed for the last 2 weeks or so and its not doing my S4 any favours . every time i work on it i do something wrong which coming from a pro engineer is bad ,also i am making a terrible mess of everything leaving tools around, hurting myself and the bike ...so much I may just dump the damn thing in a corner and walk away for a few months.trouble is its all stripped down and the cannibals will probably get at it.
i am arguing with the wife, kids ,friends , anyone and also being let down by people left right and centre there is no loyalty or trust among so called friends .Shit i might as well go to work for some peace and quiet,
the way i feel I want to divorce my wife , abandon my kids , kill most of my friends, dump everything home,cars, investments and just walk away with the M750 and my tools and vwork.
Why do i feel so crap...I Dont Know? I can work , have money in the bank , no debts but i am tired of all the shit around me and the world in general.
i am supposed to be taking my 10 year old daughter to a holiday in Uk and france and see Mum and Dad next week ....Ouch!
Confused ranting jerry
I can identify with this totally. The Brunette and I call them dark clouds, just in a funk. As a maker, being distracted or depressed or anxious can lead to improper use of equipment which can lead to serious injury. I don't want to be that guy, but I'll usually bite down and get dialed into something or go for a walk or pregnant dog for a minute or strike something repeatedly with a ball pin hammer or or or or
I guess my point is, you're not alone and everything is temporary [thumbsup]
you're not alone. i was going to rant the other day too.
but honestly, it's a winter thing. sounds stupid, but go to a tanning shop. i'm not advocating getting George Hamilton tanned and don't get fried, just get some UV rays. 6 min or so each week. I've heard about some research in Sweden/Finland about depression and its relationship to sun exposure or lack thereof.
Sorry guys but i am in Thailand and its not winter here its 95f today the sun is shining and the streets are full of beautiful women ...but i hate it all.
Two weeks is a long time. Do walk away from the bike for now. If you haven't already, talk to your wife about what you are going through. Pick some easy, satisfying projects like dusting and polishing furniture. Success feels good. Go see Mum and with your daughter, the change may do you some good since you will be getting away from the pressure of your daily life and back to your roots. If you are in as much of funk as it sounds and things don't get better consider professional help.
Quote from: jerryz on March 05, 2009, 05:35:35 AM
Sorry guys but i am in Thailand and its not winter here its 95f today the sun is shining and the streets are full of beautiful women ...but i hate it all.
ok blows my theory. well i would say, enjoy the riding weather. seriously though, don't let it progress without talking to someone.
My wife has no understanding of what i feel , we have been married 12 years and she really does not have a clue how my head works ... mind u neither do i ...she thinks i must be pissed about another woman,,, truth fully i gave up on them as well ..no i am tired of everything the last thing on my mind is women ,sex ...but my wife thinks that all a man thinks about.
My Mistakes in life
1...being born
2...having a loving mother
3...going to school
4...trusting people
5...trusting experts
6...getting married
7...falling in love
8...buying an S4
9...giving up drugs and marijuana
10..staying alive each time i should have died( 5 times recovered by ICU bastards)
11...getting an education
12...being honest
13...having kids in this evil world
Things i dont regret,
1....buying a monster750
2....going to work
3....hating evil people
4....fighting corruption and ignorance
5...giving up on people
6....giving up on trust.
Quote from: jerryz on March 05, 2009, 05:35:35 AM
Sorry guys but i am in Thailand and its not winter here its 95f today the sun is shining and the streets are full of beautiful women ...but i hate it all.
Thailand?
Those are all dudes.
PM sent.
My Mistakes in life
1...being born - technically not YOUR mistake, so you can't count that
2...having a loving mother -not sure this is a mistake unless something strange happened
3...going to school -not a mistake in my opinion
4...trusting people -ok agree here.
5...trusting experts -hmmm what is an expert and who says they really are that
6...getting married -well if i include my first one, i agree with you there, but my 2nd... is just awesome (plus she reads this ;D
7...falling in love -should go along with 6 thereby not being a mistake but... could be a mistake if it doesn't
8...buying an S4 - assuming this is a mistake related to 6 and 10 but in and of itself is not a mistake
9...giving up drugs and marijuana -well i don't agree here. that crap is a mistake
10..staying alive each time i should have died( 5 times recovered by ICU bastards) -ok now you are just worrying me
11...getting an education - no way is this a mistake, my worst was not getting one
12...being honest -only a mistake if it got you or someone else hurt, but in the end... a VERY GOOD policy
13...having kids in this evil world -only a mistake if you don't prepare them for it
Things i dont regret, - these are all cool
1....buying a monster750
2....going to work
3....hating evil people
4....fighting corruption and ignorance
5...giving up on people
6....giving up on trust.
All in all, jerry, you sound like a pretty awesome dude.
Wow.
You could be thankful for what you have.
You have:
1. a loving mother
2. an education
3. love
4. some make the beast with two backsing cool motorcycles
5. you're clean
6. you survived whatever trauma you went through
7. you're honest
8. you have beautiful children
If these things truly upset you, maybe you should talk to a professional. And bring your wife too since things are apparently so bad with her.
ETA: Of course you're not alone. But maybe now its time to pull out of it. And sometimes you need professional help and tough love to do that. So don't take my post the wrong way, its an attempt to show you the good things you have.
Quote from: JBubble on March 05, 2009, 07:32:21 AM
Wow.
You could be thankful for what you have.
You have:
1. a loving mother
2. an education
3. love
4. some make the beast with two backsing cool motorcycles
5. you're clean
6. you survived whatever trauma you went through
7. you're honest
8. you have beautiful children
9. You live in Thailand, where Triumph makes most of their bikes and transgender fun is the norm.
added one
Do not want to sound like a broken record bro BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE..
I went through an identical slump mine lasted almost 2 years.
I truly wish you pull out of yours fast. Good luck [thumbsup]
i wanted to start my post with " sounds like someones got the Mondays " :P
big hug
as ppl have said before Talk Talk Talk
get the shit of your Chest with someone, it does help, i just got trough the same thing a few months back
just hang in there Bro
I am sorry to be such a pain but Professionals , docs , psychs etc messed me up so bad i do not trust any of them in UK or anywhere else,In Thailand all they do is stuff you full of crap drugs and in the UK they tell you you have a personality problem and ask for more money to mess with your mind ...jokers ...charlatens all of them.
My wife is thai an although she has travelled all over the world even she admits i am not like ant other person she has met.
Walking away seems the best option ...she can have it all i just dont care ..i do not need it .She loves me but i dont care anymore .nothing ever makes me happy for more than 5 minutes and i am too educated to see any purpose in anything much ,i have seen so much in my life , some people say i have packed 3 lifetimes into 50 years ..but i do not believe in anything , its all transitory and ultimately futile.
Problem is i dont know what i want out of life ? go to work for a while is good i work offshore so get away from it all.
Duty, god, family , money, success etc all traps ,smoke and mirrors .we are all fools .Perhaps i should take up smoking dope again except i hate the taste of smoking .Opiates never shut my tortured mind , nor booze or sex or anything ...except bikes when in the zone but you cannot ride 24 hours aday ..and combat I found peace there in the chaos.But i am too old for all that crap.
Ny Dad who is a wise person and 80 once said that when you have run out of dreams and new things you wanted to do its time to die ,,, he still learns new things daily ...me I have done it all. no more dreams or things i have not done or wanted to do.....now every day is an empty shell. When he looks me in the eye he sees a void and it scares him as i am much younger than him.
I dont fear death, never have but i do fear pain and discomfort and mental pain is worse than any physical pain i ever suffered.
sorry folks , Heavy stuff but Its how I see it . I believe I have no purpose ..no calling ..no connection ....never had the belief in all the bullshit i was told after the age of 6, by teachers, parents , doctors,banks, bosses priests ,leaders ,media ,art ,religion,...that sums me up perfectly .A man who went in search of himself and Knowledge and found ........nothing.
Having the monster (s) through school helped me out alot. Being able to get out of clinic, run home real quick, put the full gear on and go across the bridge into riding heaven. Take er easy brother.
Quote from: jerryz on March 05, 2009, 08:49:38 AM
A man who went in search of himself and Knowledge and found ........nothing.
sounds like where I was a few years ago.
I read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse (given to me by my then 17 year old son), and things started to click.
The man who sailed around his soul
From east to west, from pole to pole
With ego as his drunken captain
Greed, the mutineer, had trapped all reason in the hold
The man who walked across his heart
Who took no compass, guide or chart
To rope and tar his blood congealed
When he found his self revealed ugly and cold
And the sirens that sing
By your nose with its ring
Theyll drag you in
For your sins
Now he sits all alone
And its no place like home
Its empty skin
A bag to keep lifes souvenirs in
The man who sailed around his soul
The man who sailed around his soul
The man who sailed around his soul
Came back again to find a hole
Where once he thought compassion and the truth
Had laid to warm his freezing carcass on return
The man who walked across his heart
Was doomed to journey from the start
Of every love affair hed broken
All the lies hed ever spoken
Tattooed on his arm
And the jellyfish stings
Even angels with wings
Who look too deep
And dare to peep
Now he sits all alone
Knowing flesh blood and bone
Is everything
He found the treasure hed been seeking
The man who sailed around his soul
keep hanging on.
+1 on doing something positive. Baby steps. Sounds dumb, but doing physical labor helps. Work til you're sweating, you can stand back and see the result, and the endorphines kick in and you'll start feeling better. Not right away, but keep at it and in 2 weeks it'll change. the gym is boring to me and the sense of accomplishment is a motivator.
If you don't have any projects at home to tackle, help a friend. that's bonus bonus points! [thumbsup]
Good luck to you!
Jerry.
got a challenge for you. build a bike. build it from the ground up. challenge yourself with new innovative ideas for it.
you found solace in bikes and you need a goal, something to grab onto.
I agree with raux,
look around, the answer is there, you just have not seen it.
You have done it all,....Ok, tell me about it, no right it down, bet it's a good story, who would play you in the movie.
I'm four years after my D, miss my kids, discovered bikes and loving it, play lots a golf, started rock climbing too.
Get up, play a round, get on bike, ride to the mtns, and go climb.
Keep writing brother.
You ever listen to the Bubba the Love Sponge show? A diversion during the day, might help out, it has for me.
Russ
honestly none of us can give you an answer, wha tyou want is only found within yourself and what you desire.
we can't get in your head, we havent' lived like you, so we are all just posturing and tellin gyou what we think you should do based on our own biases.
good luck in what you do, if you truly have lived a lot then you are more fortunate than others, if you think there is nothing left to do, it only means that you have to think of more stuff to do. (that is my biased opinion)
and you are right in the grand scheme o fthings everything and everyone is transitory and meaningless. the biggest joke that anoyoen ever put out there is that "an individual" is special and unique, well yes in a way that person is to the people that they know but in the grand scheeme of the universe and 1 million years of time from now what you do doesn't matter, accept that, and then go and enjoy your life bc nobody is going to do that for you.
Alright, everyone else is throwing in their two cents, so I'm gonna tell you what I've discovered. If I come off like a jackass I'm sorry, I'm really just trying to help.
1st: I'm not a Dr. But you might could use a change in diet/excersorsize and possibly meds to change your brain chem in a positive way.
2nd: and even more powerful then meds, control your thought life. Doctors did a study of patients with severe OCD handwashing issues and gave them CT scans. Their brains were damaged not functioning in a normal way. They told them to tell themselves everytime they wanted to wash their hands obsessively, "those are crazy thoughts. Mind, my hands are clean and your not going to think crazy thoughts anymore". In a surprisingly short time they had overcome their issues and on a follow up CT their brain chemistry had changed, and their brains were functioning normally.
3rd: Change what you think about. When we are depressed we are focused on ourselves, and our problems. This selfishness leads to more problems. Get involved is serving others, your kids, your wife, your community, and those in need. It doesn't mean you have to devote your time to picking up trash or go to Africa to feed the poor. But get outside yourself and refuse to focus on you and your problems. You owe it to your kids and wife to stop thinking about yourself.
Sorry if I came off pompus or a jackass, I'm a screw up. But I've found these things to be very true.
Quote from: Clickjack on March 05, 2009, 12:31:11 PM
Alright, everyone else is throwing in their two cents, so I'm gonna tell you what I've discovered. If I come off like a jackass I'm sorry, I'm really just trying to help.
1st: I'm not a Dr. But you might could use a change in diet/excersorsize and possibly meds to change your brain chem in a positive way.
2nd: and even more powerful then meds, control your thought life. Doctors did a study of patients with severe OCD handwashing issues and gave them CT scans. Their brains were damaged not functioning in a normal way. They told them to tell themselves everytime they wanted to wash their hands obsessively, "those are crazy thoughts. Mind, my hands are clean and your not going to think crazy thoughts anymore". In a surprisingly short time they had overcome their issues and on a follow up CT their brain chemistry had changed, and their brains were functioning normally.
3rd: Change what you think about. When we are depressed we are focused on ourselves, and our problems. This selfishness leads to more problems. Get involved is serving others, your kids, your wife, your community, and those in need. It doesn't mean you have to devote your time to picking up trash or go to Africa to feed the poor. But get outside yourself and refuse to focus on you and your problems. You owe it to your kids and wife to stop thinking about yourself.
Sorry if I came off pompus or a jackass, I'm a screw up. But I've found these things to be very true.
+1, other studies have shown that a vast number of people who believed they were luckly had more good things happen to them. I think it's because they've learn to SEE the GOOD and not focus on the bad. Truthfully you will prolly need to use several tools to break your "funk". Don't rule out meds, if you do have a chem imbalance you can't wish it away, it's like diabetes or anything else that requires meds to live a normal life. Good luck friend, I wish I had a magic bullet to cure all your feelings but it don't work that way.
I doubt that I am the guy to be handing out advice, but I hit the bottom trying to climb the big dog ladder at work, be a full time engineering student, and raise a 3 and 1 year old. My wife and I came to the point where we weren't speaking much and it was going to get worse until one day I just said make the beast with two backs IT (in a good way). For me, I just accepted that my life was what it was for now and only I was going to make it better. I taped a pic of my wife and girls on my tach of my Monster and just rode like hell every chance I got. I stepped back and looked at what I could change to make things better. I took an off shift at work to relieve some of the pressure, dropped back to part time at school and concentrated on my family. Not sure if that is something that will help you, but it sure worked for me. Good luck brother. I doubt this is the best support group, but the majority will be here if you need us!
Quote from: Ivan Vukchevic on March 05, 2009, 09:56:22 AM
One more Jerry.
And I must ask a stupid question: What is your Zodiac sign?
Gemini.
Quote from: DucinKtown on March 05, 2009, 11:45:31 AM
I agree with raux,
look around, the answer is there, you just have not seen it.
You have done it all,....Ok, tell me about it, no right it down, bet it's a good story, who would play you in the movie.
I'm four years after my D, miss my kids, discovered bikes and loving it, play lots a golf, started rock climbing too.
Get up, play a round, get on bike, ride to the mtns, and go climb.
Keep writing brother.
You ever listen to the Bubba the Love Sponge show? A diversion during the day, might help out, it has for me.
Russ
Writing ..now thats a big issue with me when i was a kid i used to write spontaniously ,hundreds of pages wonderful stories,teachers and friends lapped it up ,but when I was a teenager my school crushed me so much i stopped writing . last 36 years I hate writing , only do it he minimum for work , bosses love it as my reports are so accurate but short maybe 1 or 2 pages where others give 200 of waffle. I hate writing or expressing myself now .Writing actually makes feel physically sick.
My 2 cents worth..... Nobody can be in your shoes, and nobody can experience things like yourself.
I was stuck in life, flew to California and bought a Monster, rode up the PCH 1 for 1 1/2 weeks alone. thought i would fine myself in California, but when i got back it got worst. I brought along a book, "Zen the art of motorcycle maintenance" you will like this book.
I loved California so much, and it shows that there are so much to do in the world, and there are super nice, good people in the world. 1 month after i got back, i quit my job, and packed my stuff and moved back home to CT, closer to my parents and siblings...
sometime we need that change, kick in the ass, jump into cold water, stepping out of our comfort zone. the monotones of life will get you depress.
there are plenty of things to be done...learn something new guitars, surf, climb K2, hunt a tiger, swim with sharks, these are things i want to do.
don't give up on life, wake up everyday and say this will be a great day!!
proud of you man! manly hug......
PS. I bet this post helped everybody who posted too
Thanks Jerry
People here are saying some really meaningful things. the winter months, for some reason, whether warm or cold, are just susceptible months for me to fall in a slump if I let it. Apathy is easy, and so is concentrating on the negative things in life. The gym, or physical activity in general are HUGE in helping my spirits be as high as possible. Spirit is not always hi, but I definitely do my best. You gotta find a healthy life position, brother. I hope you find it soon
Finally found my quote I saw before.
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
- Robert M. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)
You've done it all? Find a new "all" to do.
Get a 'script for some antidepressants, and try this: train for an ultramarathon bicycle race.
Came real close to being dead or paralyzed while riding a bike. It changed my previously shitty attitude about life. The daily physical pain is bad. But it makes me say every day how glad I am to still be here. I am not paralyzed. I am not dead. I did nothing wrong. Just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I could get all pissy and be depressed about it. That would be real easy to do. I choose not to. Sure, I still piss and moan about crap. Can't change everything. But I am so much better than before.
Was diagnosed with a brain tumor July 25, 1991. Funny... I'm still here. Actually it made me a better person. More appreciative. My bike "incident" did the same. Guess I needed a reminder. :P
Hang in there brother. Find what turns you around. It's there in front of you... you just can't see it yet. Sort of a "can't see the forest for the trees" thing. Thankfully you have unseen friends here that support you and offer help. Lots of folks don't even have that. Hopefully you will realize that you really are blessed and will focus on that one thing that makes you happy.
Good luck my friend. [thumbsup] [moto] [beer] Hell, go for a ride!
Quote from: jerryz on March 05, 2009, 06:16:03 PM
Gemini.
Oh dude. However sappy this fact is, it may be your nature to get this way sometimes.
Before imparting the proverbial gem of wisdom, here is my partial list, and I'm not embellishing.
I crashed and broke my neck - took a year to regain faculties.
Mom died recently, just after the big D with the gemini.
I've been "terminally ill" 4 times. The most recent diagnosis was 3 weeks ago. Expiration date? The doctor told me, "any minute." [laugh]
No shit, right there in his office, "You could go any minute."
We all go through things like this. What do we get from them?
Imagine you hear this, "you have 3 days to live." What would you be doing; who would you never talk to again? Who would you go find?"
Vegas anyone?
OK 6 months?
Bahamas anyone?
Couple of years, MAX, but that's it?
Find a cure, date rock star, publish book, ride a lot, make porn, save a life, invent something that saves dolphins [roll] why not? Where would you be, what would you be doing?
People freaking drop dead all the time. There is no guarantee you'll have 3 months. That should be an exciting thought.
Here's the point finally:
You get to put what ever you want in your head. You like horror movies? Then that's what you'll have upstairs.
It takes work to put in your head only what is useful and desired.
Put on some good music, read a good book, blog, do yoga, run, go outside for 5 minutes and stand in the damn rain. DO what it takes to get positive and happy. Get rid of the ugly thoughts. Whenever they come, DO SOMETHING. Take action, use your body while you've got one.
Do not waste time because time will waste you.
Good luck man. You are not alone at all. Choose wisely what's next. Divorce is an amputation.
(ps. Looks like a misdiagnosis on the #4 terminal ill thing. But there were a few weeks of thinking really hard about this. )
I understand what u guys are telling me , I too have been very ill , actually back in 1990 i spent 9 months in ICU was told ytou will never walk or have sex ever again, then 18 months in a wheelchair but I did make a 90% recovery, have since fathered kids and work etc.But the negative vibes eat at my soul.
Today i filled my brain up with Zombie Meds ( citalopram) and actually spent 2 hours working on the bike ,put all the mistakes right , but then found I need spares that I cannot get in Thailand so although I will be able to mostly reassemble the bike ,I wont be able to run it ,until I return from UK .
I need swingarm shims some more opener and closer shims , K&N filter ,new clutch pack and basket,springs and cover.
Went out got drunk tonight and am now going to bed ...alone . Still have no idea how to deal with the bad feelings and negativity but i reckon I have been misdiagnosed for the last 45 years as a Depressive ,I have been treated since I was 6.Drugs ,therapy,,etc thats why i dont trust the system,
But i reckon I am a manic depressive
Don't take this the wrong way..... ;)
What do you want from life? (The Tubes) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fgjfi1DU1mQ&feature=related#lq-hq)
Here. This popped in my head this morning between mile post 15 and mile post 3 in I-40 this morning around 5AM. I've had entirely too much time to think entire too early in the morning for the past three weeks. It's a motorcycle-related look at mood changes.
QuoteThe Dinosaur affair
It had been a long day at work. Not really a bad day, just long and a bit aggravating and still far from a good or easy day. I stepped out into the warm afternoon sun. Being aggravated about the workday made me grumble about it making my motorcycle gear seem too hot. I walk over to my motorcycle, or well, dinosaur by modern standards.
A dinosaur you say? Yes, a dinosaur. Bikes like this just aren't built anymore. Sure, they build faster bikes; ones that make riding a runaway engine from a 747 seem less intimidating. However, those have modern frames and suspension and can manage a corner fairly well. Not so much for the dinosaur. At the time of our affair, the dinosaur's frame, brake and suspension technology was 23 years old. This kind if machine is extinct, mostly because of their appetite for their own rider. The dinosaur knew how to go fast, really fast, since a previous owner put some aftermarket cams in it. It outruns its brakes the moment the cavernous pistons start gulping unleaded like a wino gulps his Wild Irish Rose.
As I head out, I think “What a boring commute.†Uninteresting surface streets, two miles of highway, more surface streets. I could take the long way home, but I don't' really feel like going all the way to the edge of the county just to come back. I decide I'd probably get stuck behind some traffic anyway and proceed on my way with the raucous rumble of only a dinosaur could make. Head out, make a left make a right cross the slightly elevated railroad tracks and putt-putt down the 20mph section.
Putt-putt? Just like in a cartoon, a tiny devil pops up on my right shoulder, whispering in my ear. Then the angel pops up on my left shoulder whispering in my other ear. Just like a bunch of frat-boys cheering on their buddy's next shot of Jagermeister, the devil is screaming; “Do it! Do it!†in my right ear, the angel gently reminding me I should behave and set a good example in my left ear. Again, just like in a cartoon, a devilish grin appears and *flick* the angel gets airmailed to the sidewalk. I twist the throttle right as I'm about to descend off the rise caused by the railroad crossing launching me forward while the dinosaur a emits the growl of an angry demon. Perfect timing, the front wheel stays elevated a foot or so as the rear follows the descent from the railroad crossing. Of course, the old man that rebuilds interesting old cars is glaring at me from within his garage yelling something I can't hear. He'll probably call the police about hooligan biker terrorizing his neighborhood. Again. I needed the tiny adrenaline rush, so he'll get over it.
Make a left onto the next street. Straight, boring and stuck behind a car going below the 35mph speed limit is no way to ride a motorcycle. Traffic is backed up at the light. My gear is too hot for a sunny day. Take a right and head for the exit ramp.
Exit ramp? The devil and angel return to their respective places on my shoulders. Apparently the angel caught back up. “Twist it! Twist it!†races down my right ear canal while. “BEHAVE!†races down the right ear canal. Another quick flick airmails the angel to the safety rail. Leaning into the smooth curve of the exit ramp, clicking into second gear, I twist the throttle with reckless abandon. The suspension and swing arm writhe and twist in pain as each of the four pistons have their way with them. Passing 5,000 RPM, the engine goes from the sound of an angry demon to the shriek of a banshee hell-bent on destruction. The tortured the rear tire grapples for asphalt, and the front suspension extends to the limit of its travel. Squirming in discomfort, the frame attempts to keep the dinosaur pointed in the proper direction and hold everything together. I try to not death-grip the bars as the hotted cam hits tis sweet spot and the solid-rocket booster ignites. The dinosaur and I share an evil laugh that would make the vilest villain proud.
Man, is the highway boring, even at a speed not legal in most states. Good thing traffic is nearly non-existent. I don't have to worry about cars cutting me off or being in my way or slowing me down. Dial up a little more speed and make this highway disappear.
Speed? Yup, they're back. The angel is a bit miffed at this point and just throws its hands up in exasperation as I twist the throttle into the stop and tuck a little tighter so I don't get sucked right off the back. Rocketing through the dip, my next exit ramp appears. It appears entirely too fast. Slamming down on the twin-disc, opposed piston binders, they grab the slotted discs with all their might. The nearly 600lb dinosaur slows its pace as it's skinny front forks nearly compress to the stops. I can feel the buzz of the slots on the rotors ripping bits of brake pad away with each pass through the calipers.
This is a 270º exit ramp, no way I can trust this dinosaur to take it at any speed. It's only an affair, I can't put my trust in this dinosaur. More surface streets, complete with two back-to-back red lights. Man, this thing is a pain to maneuver in tight places like the garage. Maybe I should move on.
Quote from: ducpainter on March 06, 2009, 05:44:10 AM
Don't take this the wrong way..... ;)
What do you want from life? (The Tubes) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fgjfi1DU1mQ&feature=related#lq-hq)
thanks ,, I remember seeing The Tubes live in london Brighton 1979 and 1980 .may be I need to go back to the past to regain the future.
in those days i was A drug crazed sex maniac boooze monstering biker riding a Chopped Harley with a genuine 138mph super hotted up 77''sporster engine ,hardtail and Girder forks, worked as a Recording studio technician/roady and partime drug dealer .
Quote from: jerryz on March 06, 2009, 07:19:11 AM
thanks ,, I remember seeing The Tubes live in london Brighton 1979 and 1980 .may be I need to go back to the past to regain the future.
in those days i was A drug crazed sex maniac boooze monstering biker riding a Chopped Harley with a genuine 138mph super hotted up 77''sporster engine ,hardtail and Girder forks, worked as a Recording studio technician/roady and partime drug dealer .
Geez! I wish you would start writing again. That sounds like a good book! [laugh]
You live in Thailand?! and travel to the UK? That can't suck too bad.
Sometimes I "write" with photographs. - You've got to have a fairly astounding visual world around you. Creating something that only you control, like a journal of great things in your day is one of my favorite things that brings me perspective and presence of mind across years. I go back to old ones in sucky moments a remember how temporary sucky moments are.
The TUBES made my day. I completely forgot they existed. [thumbsup]
Quote from: jerryz on March 06, 2009, 07:19:11 AM
thanks ,, I remember seeing The Tubes live in london Brighton 1979 and 1980 .may be I need to go back to the past to regain the future.
in those days i was A drug crazed sex maniac boooze monstering biker riding a Chopped Harley with a genuine 138mph super hotted up 77''sporster engine ,hardtail and Girder forks, worked as a Recording studio technician/roady and partime drug dealer .
alright already. you have lived... now i want to hear more.
<modhat>
Let's not turn this into a religious debate. Mmmkay?
</modhat>
I'm 55 years old, and here's my advice:
If you don't have a bicycle, get one. If you already have one, get on it and start pedaling.
It doesn't matter whether it's a road bike or a mountain bike. I have both (hey, sometimes I like to go fast, and sometimes I like to get dirty!).
Find someplace where you can ride -- I mean really ride. And Ride. Hard. Push yourself (within your limits, of course -- you know your limits). Sustained physical exertion is mentally (and physically) cleansing, and you'll sleep like a baby that night. When you recover from the initial ride (and that will probably be a couple of days), get on the bike again and you'll find that your very next ride will be measurably superior, performance-wise, compared to the first time. Keep it up -- in two weeks you'll be amazed, even astounded, at how hard you can mash the pedals, and how far you can ride hard without any more next-day muscle soreness. Your legs will feel like steel springs, your stamina will go through the roof, and the sense of reward is uncommonly satisfying.
And get past the "spandex shorts" hangup that some people have, and get yourself some proper gear -- padded shorts, gloves and a well-ventilated helmet (trust me, "well-ventilated" is important).
Stay with it, long term. Your riding technique will constantly improve, and you'll find yourself actually looking forward to the afternoons so you can get in a few miles after work. It may sounds absurd to you right now, but a Saturday 40-miler isn't at all unusual for a regular cyclist -- and afterwards you feel spent, but also deeply satisfied, and quite peaceful inside.
I'm seriously tellin' ya, Jerry...IMO, you owe it to yourself, and to everyone who loves you, to go mash some pedals, dude! [thumbsup]
Quote from: oldjackbob on March 07, 2009, 05:57:15 PMI'm seriously tellin' ya, Jerry...IMO, you owe it to yourself, and to everyone who loves you, to go mash some pedals, dude! [thumbsup]
+1It doesn't have to be a bicycle, but regular exercise is a well known technique for overcoming depression. It doesn't work for everyone, and even for the people it does work for it's often hard to gather up the motivation to do it when you need it most, but it's at least as likely to help as invisible friends [evil] (sorry DM...)
big
Quote from: bigiain on March 07, 2009, 06:18:41 PM
+1
It doesn't have to be a bicycle, but regular exercise is a well known technique for overcoming depression...[but]...it's often hard to gather up the motivation to do it when you need it most...
Agreed, and that's the great thing about bicycling (as compared to, say, weightlifting) -- you can ride as hard or as easy as you want to, and you can ride for as long, or short, as you want to. You can do a short hard ride, or you can do a long easy ride.
That said,...Ride Hard! [thumbsup]
Quote from: oldjackbob on March 07, 2009, 06:34:37 PM
Agreed, and that's the great thing about bicycling (as compared to, say, weightlifting) -- you can ride as hard or as easy as you want to, and you can ride for as long, or short, as you want to. You can do a short hard ride, or you can do a long easy ride.
That said,...Ride Hard! [thumbsup]
Wow, a motorcycle guy telling someone that they should learn to enjoy riding a bicycle.. that's original [laugh] [laugh]
all joking aside, i have to agree, cycling is a great sport and basically is perfect to do on a nice day. All the things that you like about motorcycle are the same with bicycles, only the engine is you... thus the enjoyment of motorcycles, i finally can go uphill without having to cough up a lunch or have it take hours, ie a mountain pass of 9 miles at 7% grade.. that hurts on a bicycle, but is really fun.
if you like riding motorcycles, i guarantee that you will like at least a few aspects of cycling bc they take indentical skills at times.
To those of you with religious faith I would like to point out that i am a fervent atheist... my wife is a devout Bhuddist my parents are Jewish and I was educated in a Christian school and have lived and worked in Muslim countries. I know god does not exist but I have met the devil walking down the street many times...he is not so bad if you kick his arse first.
Lets leave religion and religious belief out of the DMF...
K?
Quote from: ducpainter on March 08, 2009, 07:55:12 AM
Lets leave religion and religious belief out of the DMF...
K?
Um, I think Jerry was just giving everyone fair notice that he doesn't care to hear anything about how he needs to "find God".
K? ;)
Quote from: oldjackbob on March 08, 2009, 08:31:46 AM
Um, I think Jerry was just giving everyone fair notice that he doesn't care to hear anything about how he needs to "find God".
K? ;)
I wasn't necessarily speaking to Jerry. ;)
FYI.... if anybody does need to find Jesus.... his letter of recommendation is over in NMC
Quote from: bobspapa on March 08, 2009, 09:51:39 AM
FYI.... if anybody does need to find Jesus.... his letter of recommendation is over in NMC
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
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Hi folks..
well i am medicated up to my eyeballs with Citalopram which makes me feel mellow , ruins your sex life though. I can focus on things for a while and am doing about 3-4 hours work on the bike a day but the heat is sapping at 95f .I do not have to go back to work until mid April ..I want to go early but haveamily commitments .S4 may to get to go for a run if I get to finish putting back together but as I go to UK next week for family holiday and work. Good thing is I have the M750 there which is perfect and I will collect any bits I need for the S4 easy there .
I am not socialising at all cant face people .. just my family and a select female friend.I try to do some exercise but its not easy here if you dont want people around you.
trying to kepp chilled out
jerry
Quote from: jerryz on March 09, 2009, 02:56:01 AM
Hi folks..
well i am medicated up to my eyeballs with Citalopram which makes me feel mellow , ruins your sex life though. I can focus on things for a while and am doing about 3-4 hours work on the bike a day but the heat is sapping at 95f .I do not have to go back to work until mid April ..I want to go early but haveamily commitments .S4 may to get to go for a run if I get to finish putting back together but as I go to UK next week for family holiday and work. Good thing is I have the M750 there which is perfect and I will collect any bits I need for the S4 easy there .
I am not socialising at all cant face people .. just my family and a select female friend.I try to do some exercise but its not easy here if you dont want people around you.
trying to kepp chilled out
jerry
you are socializing. with us.
bu beware socializing here can ruin your sex life too.
Quote from: bobspapa on March 08, 2009, 09:51:39 AM
FYI.... if anybody does need to find Jesus.... his letter of recommendation is over in NMC
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Well played sir. [clap]
went for a long ride yesteday and another today , both over 150miles bike ran OK but I did not enjoy it at all, cant relax ,feeling angry all the time .being stopped 4 times by the cops did not help even though my bike is legal they damaged the paint and an indicator and want me to produce all the documents at a police station ..its a big crackdown here ao big bikes as so many are illegal.
at home i cant communicate at all with my wife , still not speaking to any so call friends ...wish i was back at work ,was asked yesterday to go offshor but am committed to my kids holiday plans so cannot work until mid april....wish i was dead but that aint the answer.dont know what is tho.Going to the UK tommorow ,, more Bullshit its a police state u have to file a travel plan now and give the government all your credit card details or they will not let u travel.
I am so tired of everything still no ansewrs?and the medication has stopped working , last time that happend I nearly killed myself ,jumped off a cliff into the sea in Uk but a big wave washed me ashore where I was put in hospital by the cops .
is this stuff catching. cause now i'm starting to relate.
I decided to go for another ride today on the S4 went down towards Ko Chang for about 200 miles , fortunately i was pissed and so actually enjoyed the ride ,I cannot love this bike unless i am half drunk its such a dog .The bike only makes sense when I have had 2or 3 beers. wish i could change it for something else.
Ho Hum Be in YUK on tuesday the M750 can be ridden stone cold sober its such ba nice bike .
jerry...hanging on a hoping for a suprise.
__________________
MONSTERMAN
I think myself and some others have been trying to say, "we've been there in our own way," you know, in bad places from time to time, and to hang in there. These things can be temporary.
You were speculating that maybe your meds are not helping.
When in comes to meds being off, it's time to get some professional help. I don't think anyone can give you advice about that from afar.
But it sounds like it's definitely time to review your program. Maybe change doctors.
It sounds like you should do that as soon as you can. It's not good being miserable and riding around drinking man.
Good luck.
Seen the movie, watched the re-run a few times. Warren always help.
Warren Zevon -Ain't That Pretty At All (live 1982) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gefduc05QTw#hq)
[beer]
Jerry, I think it is time for professional help. Drugs are one thing, self medication for depression is another. If you can't trust your doctor time to find another.
What ever you do, my best wishes.
Problem is I cannot deal with the Thai Psych doctors they are jokes although their medical doctors are good ,and in the UK You are allocated a NHS doctor he is a nice chap but useless and thats it unless u go private ,which i did went to the Avenue clinic where all the top people go they have the best doctors in Uk but they just raped me financially and talked me into a deeper depression with all their cognitive bullshit.,,Thats why i dont trust them i have suffered from depression peiodically since i was 8 years old but it gets worse as i get older.
I have to do something when i get back to UK this week, but what I dont know , even when you ask for help they make you wait months for an appointment ..so most people end up killing themselves.
Quote from: Ivan Vukchevic on March 16, 2009, 03:08:58 AM
Jerry,
You seem like a intelligent and educated man who has seen fair amount life. So, please, please stay away from psychiatrists and other sorts of "head-doctors". They are very capable of making themselves sound reasonable. You can do that yourself as well. Anti-depressants only make you numb. They are fine for taking the edge of and getting a good night sleep but wont cure you.
I can see I'm going against the grain already and am afraid that my other advices wouldn't be as optimistic (even if I identify whit your problems) as others that were written here so I shall stop.
Best of luck Jerry.
Hope you will find something...
i'll agree and disagree.
Jerry, you need to find SOMETHING that works for you. be it a professional, medications, or a new goal. but knowing what I know about life, there are a lot of reasons not to just give up.