I gotta write my best man speech, my brother is getting married in April. I have no clue as to how to get started. Anyone have some ideas for me?
I treated the best man speech I had to give as more of a mild roast. [evil] It went well, and I was told by tons of people (including the pastor) that it was the best one they'd ever heard. The key is to not get mean or anything...and also to prepare well. Take the necessary time to write a good speech, and practice it until you're completely sick of it. Being able to present it as if you're completely comfortable and talking from the heart (even if you're nervous as hell) is key to giving a good speech. Everyone hates to listen to some dude fumble and stumble over note cards and such.
i have to give one for my dad.
the only advice given to me by others is never use this line.
"may your only ups and downs be between the sheets."
apparently it is the death stroke for relationships. [laugh]
Just drink heavily all day long - something will come to you ;D
mitt
Will Ferrell Old School Frank the tank Ricard says i love you dad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrImcOV_yZo#normal)
Quote from: Triple J on March 02, 2010, 11:08:27 AM
I treated the best man speech I had to give as more of a mild roast. [evil] It went well, and I was told by tons of people (including the pastor) that it was the best one they'd ever heard. The key is to not get mean or anything...and also to prepare well. Take the necessary time to write a good speech, and practice it until you're completely sick of it. Being able to present it as if you're completely comfortable and talking from the heart (even if you're nervous as hell) is key to giving a good speech. Everyone hates to listen to some dude fumble and stumble over note cards and such.
excellent advice. Worked well for me.
Thanks guys. I've actually been inspired a bit by George Carlin, just the way he had such a command on language, makes me want to really nail it down so it's comfortable and doesn't sound rehearsed.
I totally love that speech from Old School.
I made that speech once
it was horrible and I commented on the brides breasts
she cried
I have nothing to offer you
Start with something funny to break the tension. Like a limerick.
There once was a man from Nantucket...
Quote from: Triple J on March 02, 2010, 11:08:27 AM
I treated the best man speech I had to give as more of a mild roast. [evil] It went well, and I was told by tons of people (including the pastor) that it was the best one they'd ever heard. The key is to not get mean or anything...and also to prepare well. Take the necessary time to write a good speech, and practice it until you're completely sick of it. Being able to present it as if you're completely comfortable and talking from the heart (even if you're nervous as hell) is key to giving a good speech. Everyone hates to listen to some dude fumble and stumble over note cards and such.
this is the best advice!
my best man is my best friend and he got hammered and tried to tell a bunch of "in" jokes which no one got. when he got married, i basically did this (above) and roasted him.. i wasn't drunk either.
and everyone hates to listen to some DRUNK dude fumble even more...
Quote from: Mother on March 02, 2010, 04:50:57 PM
I made that speech once
it was horrible and I commented on the brides breasts
she cried
I have nothing to offer you
She's planning on commenting on your boobs at our wedding. Payback is a pregnant dog.
Quote from: JBubble on March 02, 2010, 05:32:05 PM
She's planning on commenting on your boobs at our wedding. Payback is a pregnant dog.
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Dont use the following, no matter how applicable they may be:
"The three rings of marraige. Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffer ring!"
"come on in, the water's fine!"
Quote from: Mother on March 02, 2010, 04:50:57 PM
I made that speech once
it was horrible and I commented on the brides breasts
she cried
I have nothing to offer you
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Quote from: JBubble on March 02, 2010, 05:32:05 PM
She's planning on commenting on your boobs at our wedding. Payback is a pregnant dog.
"There once was a man called Mother, whose titties were like no other....."
Quote from: ducducgooseme on March 03, 2010, 08:13:28 AM
"There once was a man called Mother,
whose titties were like no other....."
he taped them to the side..
Like side airbags they did ride.....
Quote from: JBubble on March 02, 2010, 05:32:05 PM
She's planning on commenting on your boobs at our wedding. Payback is a pregnant dog.
make sure he wears a nice bra at least.
i got nervous before doing my first one....and drank a bunch.
bad idea.
luckily he let me try again when he got married the second time 8)
Quote from: JEFF_H on March 03, 2010, 09:50:45 AM
i got nervous before doing my first one....and drank a bunch.
bad idea.
luckily he let me try again when he got married the second time 8)
is it bad form to wish them better luck the second time around?
Snippets from what my best man had to say:
When he asked me to be his best man the first question I asked myself was "Why should I? I mean what has he ever done for me?" So I thought back over the 20-odd years we've been friends, and realized he was the first guy to ever get me drunk, he introduced me to my first girlfriend and he got me my first job in an industry we both still work in today. So I realized he had done a lot to me. Uh, sorry. "for me" And I wouldn't get another chance like this to get back at him. Uh, I mean thank him.
...
When I first met his lovely wife, I thought to myself that she had a certain quality that he was lacking in his life. She had a certain, oh how do I put this? (fumbles through his notes)... Ah yes, "Class."
I made the best man speech once, and then proceeded to disrobe on the dance floor an hour or so later later [drink] [drink] [drink]
So, you always have that going for you if the speech sucks and need plan B [thumbsup]
mitt
They say a man isn't complete until he's married, and then he's finished..... :P
Ha, some of these are great little one liners. I'm in Puerto Rico right now for the bachelor party, havin a great time. I'll be writing the speech over the next few weeks, I think it'll be a good one.
You can't do any worse (or better) than this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBB6pmixR4Q
Make it personal, complimentary, and humorous. Don't air out any laundry or point out any shortcomings. A little teasing can be cute, but don't harp on anything that would make the bride, groom, or guests uncomfortable. I was my brother's best man, and we're not that close. I was still able to word the speech it in a way that was sweet. Got lots of compliments afterwards. Keep it under 3 minutes!
As for getting started, just write down random thoughts about the guy, some thoughts about his fiancee and the two of them together. Put it away. Come back and write some more and put it away. When you have a few, I tend to visualize, so imagine you're about to give the speech and jot out something connecting the thoughts you put together.
When you have that, practice it out loud a couple of times and revise as necessary.
1. Go buy a bunch of hallmark cards to get started.
2. Tailor them to something that can known by you and your friends, but most can appreciate.
3. Include some snippet of inside humor
4. Write EVERYTHING down on crib notes/cue cards you can hide in your hand and don't deviate.
5. ????
6. Profit
[thumbsup]
mine was short and sweet for my brother's wedding.
i had his wife put her hand on the table, and then had him put his hand on hers and said... "enjoy this moment, because this is the last time you will ever have the upper-hand in this relationship..." followed by a brief welcome to the family, and a couple shots. i was 18 and very nervous.
Thanks for all of the advice. My brother got married last night. [beer]
I had my speech prepared as much as possible, I knew it word for word, I had tension cutters and escape lines all lined up. What I did not account for was getting a little choked up at times when things got a little emotional, but I was able to make fun of myself for it and play it off. In all it was a massive success, and I was told by many it was the best they've seen.
I chose, because I was coming from Los Angeles, the land of motion pictures, that I would use movie quotes within my speech to move it along. I was able to put in 27 quotes from movies like Animal House, Goldfinger, Ratatouiille, Lawrence of Arabia, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, V For Vendetta, Fight Club, Muppets Take Manhattan, Newsies, and a few more.
Nothing tanked, everything that warranted a laugh got one, the bride was laughing and crying, my brother was laughing as well, and my parents taped the whole thing. I originally timed it out to be about 4 and a half minutes. Total length with appluase and laughter and comedic pauses . . . . 9 minutes. So glad it's over!
Beautiful story
I just did one last night for my best mate's wedding. Went really well, went way longer than expected cos of all the laughing and I was reading slower than I thought. I was very happy with it.
Ugh...my brother saddled me with the task at his second wedding 3 years ago to a woman whose intellectual, spiritual and emotional deficiencies are far too many to enumerate
He asked "will you be my best man"....I replied "I would rather be your best friend and tell you not to do this."
But I suppose love is blind as they say,,, and in many cases it is also tree stump stupid
he suffers to this day...but I did what was asked of me and went down this sort of road.....
OK remember it is really "The Brides" day more than anything.....for humor you can cite how low-maintenance he is, in terms of ...say...cooking for him...give examples of how you saw him once "cook" a hot dog under a hot water tap and happily eat it because the stove had been broken for months,,,,assure her that meeting his culinary expectations should be a breeze
how cleaning for him should be a breeze as well since you saw first-hand, his bachelor abode.... replete with old work pants standing in the corner dancing on their own
and how the mold on an old chinese food container was having a gang war with the mold on the old pizza in the refrigerator
do not discuss his past relationships with other women...there are no upsides to that line of pursuit...period do not compare his past disasters to the bride...she isn't "pick of the litter"...she is above comparison.....
"prior women" is a minefield that few can successfully/gracefully navigate...don't go any closer to it than perhaps citing that you saw his journey on the path to true love being akin to the road scenes in Mad Max/Road Warrior..or something soft and metaphoric
Do speak to the positive changes you have seen in him first-hand since he met the bride....
something like.... I knew this was a special thing because he started brushing his teeth and bathing....then switch to a real insight into how you saw firsthand evidence that the bride has made him look at his life differently...a small change in his thinking, perhaps a small comment he once made... that showed you he was on a completely different track because of her
i have used the whipsaw delivery..... offer a humorous anecdote or recollection followed by one that is sincere and insightful as to how he has "improved" since her arrival in his life...evidence of her stark importance to him
remember a Best Man Toast it is a sort of eulogy for the living...the guy you knew is gone...or at least the circumstances under which you knew him are gone
so it is a compare-and-contrast of the groom "before her" and "because of her"
then go to some "unrelated-to-her" core example of his behavior that speaks to how decent and generous a person he actually is (in short,,,something that says "honey you did pick a winner and you are f-ing lucky to have landed him") the bride's family and friends ought to hear proof that she used good judgement
last segment after bearing witness to his evolution from "guy" to "groom" to now "husband"...express a couple of hopes and wishes for them as a "couple"
close it out with a toast
and quietly hope for the best for them.... the stats are not in their favor