Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AM

Title: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AM
Too many people approach the house, so it's time for a moat.

Anyone installed one? What depth/width?

Lessons learned? Cost per radius/depth?

What did you put in it that eats people? I need something that'll survive lower temps on occasion, but not freeze. Ideally with a minimum amount of feedings, too.

I'd be willing to electrify the moat as an alternative, but I don't know what size of a backup generator I would need.

Should I fence both sides of the moat or just one? Inside or outside?

I figure if the fence is inside the moat, it'll advertise the right message, however if the fence obscures the moat, it'd be easier to dispose of anyone who made it in.

Both sides seems cost prohibitive.

Thoughts?

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Grampa on June 15, 2010, 06:57:03 AM
6' wide x 10' deep. Alpaca filled with lasers attached to their heads. Also..... inject them with anti freeze, it'll make their spit toxic, which will cause burns when it comes in contact with human flesh.


Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Statler on June 15, 2010, 07:08:13 AM
one of these on the draw bridge helps:
(http://petsmartsigns.com/items_images/1157136637Attack_Lawyer.JPG)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 15, 2010, 07:09:43 AM
http://www.ehow.com/how_2155747_dig-moat.html (http://www.ehow.com/how_2155747_dig-moat.html)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Statler on June 15, 2010, 07:12:29 AM
and try to go with more this:
(http://www.hamovhotov.com/picturegallery/images/travel___places/united_kingdom/bodiam_castle_surrounded_by_its_wide_moat.jpg)

than this:

(http://maestrocarpetcleaning.com/Assets/house_drown.jpg)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: cyrus buelton on June 15, 2010, 07:13:09 AM
Quote from: Statler on June 15, 2010, 07:08:13 AM
one of these on the draw bridge helps:
(http://petsmartsigns.com/items_images/1157136637Attack_Lawyer.JPG)


I am sure you have one outside your driveway.






Why not surround your property with razor wire and some old russian land mines?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 07:14:05 AM
Quote from: Statler on June 15, 2010, 07:08:13 AM
one of these on the draw bridge helps:
(http://petsmartsigns.com/items_images/1157136637Attack_Lawyer.JPG)

Isn't that the same as sharks in the moat?

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Slide Panda on June 15, 2010, 07:30:41 AM
Quote from: bobspapa on June 15, 2010, 06:57:03 AM
6' wide x 10' deep. Alpaca filled with lasers attached to their heads. Also..... inject them with anti freeze, it'll make their spit toxic, which will cause burns when it comes in contact with human flesh.

Lasers are nice n cheap now

http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Spyder_III_Pro_Arctic_Series-96-0.html (http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Spyder_III_Pro_Arctic_Series-96-0.html)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: WarrenJ on June 15, 2010, 07:39:53 AM
I'm real happy with the phiranas and electric eels. 
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 07:42:50 AM
Quote from: WarrenJ on June 15, 2010, 07:39:53 AM
I'm real happy with the phiranas and electric eels. 

What's the feeding schedule/recharge rate?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Le Pirate on June 15, 2010, 07:53:08 AM
phiranas and the gator/croc comb FTW.

Permits for all aren't too hard to come by. Don't think you even need one if you go with the gators. Pretty hardy animals, and they'll forage on their own (i,e. no feeding needed).

I'd go fence on the inside...built at an angle out over the water. People will have to cross the moat to get to the fence, then climb at an incline.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: mitt on June 15, 2010, 08:03:02 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 07:42:50 AM
What's the feeding schedule/recharge rate?

depends on the frequency of "visitors" to our house.


mitt
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 15, 2010, 08:07:07 AM
Just keep the moat full of mayonnaise.
That doesn't sound too fun to swim through, especially on a hot summer day.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 08:33:28 AM

Don't you have a gate?

sac
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: zooom on June 15, 2010, 08:47:18 AM
I'd put up an 8foot chain link fence and put constantino razor wire roll along the top and then electrify the fence with some REALLY high voltage and amps and put signs all over it saying "Fence Electrified, Don't Pee On It!" and then put webcams out to record the eventual moron-a-thon that will ensue!...you can charge for the video sales after the fact big time like it was some sort of Jackass thing...
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: herm on June 15, 2010, 08:50:47 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AM
Too many people approach the house, so it's time for a moat.

Anyone installed one? What depth/width? There is some formula for keeping a ditch of a given depth from collapsing on itself. check with your landscape architect

Lessons learned? Cost per radius/depth? if you rent some heavy equipment, and operate it yourself, you should incur pretty minimal costs (more fun too)

What did you put in it that eats people? I need something that'll survive lower temps on occasion, but not freeze. Ideally with a minimum amount of feedings, too. i would avoid human eating things. too high on maintenance. plus, you have junior incredible on the way. i would go with pungi stakes, dipped in feces.

I'd be willing to electrify the moat as an alternative, but I don't know what size of a backup generator I would need. just loop a wire over one of those high KV lines and into the moat. that should be enough.

Should I fence both sides of the moat or just one? Inside or outside? fence at least the inside...again, thinking of junior.

I figure if the fence is inside the moat, it'll advertise the right message, however if the fence obscures the moat, it'd be easier to dispose of anyone who made it in. ideally, you would want them to get out under their own power, go home and expire there. this would really save a lot of work for you in the long term. OTOH, if you do decide to go with man eaters, they will want to keep something to snack on in between intruders...then all you have to do is scoop out the bones with a pool cleaning net every now and then.

Both sides seems cost prohibitive. tough call (see above)

Thoughts?

glad to help
[thumbsup]

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 09:15:59 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 08:33:28 AM
Don't you have a gate?

sac

Yes but, once the moat is put in, I will upgrade it to a portcullis.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 09:18:51 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 09:15:59 AM
Yes but, once the moat is put in, I will upgrade it to a portcullis.


If you have a gate, how are people coming up to your house?

sac
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Statler on June 15, 2010, 09:24:00 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 09:18:51 AM

If you have a gate, how are people coming up to your house?

sac

Mr.i has more of a gait than a gate.  it's almost a lope.  people find it attractive in a shirt untucked muppet kind of way.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: zooom on June 15, 2010, 09:27:12 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 09:18:51 AM

If you have a gate, how are people coming up to your house?

sac

Evil Keneivel ramp entrance anyone?!?!?!
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: DCXCV on June 15, 2010, 09:31:33 AM
Dry moat, 10' deep, filled with jackals.  You can recover costs by webcam feed subscriptions.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 09:33:22 AM
Quote from: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 09:18:51 AM

If you have a gate, how are people coming up to your house?

sac

I don't have an automatic gate, and I'd rather not inconvenience the pregnant wife/tenant until I get one, so I just leave it open.


Plus f I had a moat, I could fish in it. Trout live well with piranhas?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: cyrus buelton on June 15, 2010, 09:41:25 AM
I thought you lived out in the sticks?



Why not just get yourself a stage coach shot gun and open the door holding it?


I haven't posted pics yet, but I was at a military surplus store picking up some supplies for Costa Rica and ended up walking out with a military vest that holds all sorts of shit. I'll take a picture and post it in the gun thread.

basically I have like ten 30rnd AR-15 mags, an extra saiga mag, my USP 40 and a few extra mags and a knife.

Just throw that on and answer the door too.

Oh wait, you can't have 30rnd mags in CA. My bad.




I love the moat idea, but I'd spend a bit more and make it a saltwater one.

Throw some mores eels in there, along with a few tiger sharks.

You live in the woods, so just take down some small game every few days and throw them in the moat and watch the feeding frenzy.

 
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 09:57:30 AM
Because I'm not home all the time to answer doors with shotguns?










You guys know all of this is tongue in cheek, right?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: cyrus buelton on June 15, 2010, 10:02:20 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 09:57:30 AM
Because I'm not home all the time to answer doors with shotguns?










You guys know all of this is tongue in cheek, right?


So how do you know if people come to your house all the time if you aren't home?

Leave the gate open?



(yes, which is why you are getting off the wall answers)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 10:10:43 AM
My neighbors let me know.


They're very neighborly.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: zooom on June 15, 2010, 10:16:33 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 10:10:43 AM
My neighbors let me know.


They're very neighborly.

so you leave them with the shotgun and a set of your fingerprints and tell them to take care of the offendors of your lawn...and that you'll take care of the rest when you get home!
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: SacDuc on June 15, 2010, 10:33:11 AM


There are rules to moving to the middle of nowhere.

1) House should not be visible from the road.
2) Neighbors should not be visible from the house.
3) If you want to blow stuff up the noise shouldn't bother anyone.


I don't think you did it right. Might as well live in the city if you can't blow up stuff. So try one of these:

http://www.doorking.com/pages/dks-gate_op.php (http://www.doorking.com/pages/dks-gate_op.php)

sac


/and then kill your neighbors after making sure they will you their property
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 10:47:22 AM
for a small yearly fee plus room and board i will be your personal security guard.

i'll even keep a small cache of bitey animals to throw at people if they don't leave soon enough.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 10:49:46 AM
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 10:47:22 AM
for a small yearly fee plus room and board i will be your personal security guard.

i'll even keep a small cache of bitey animals to throw at people if they don't leave soon enough.

Name the fee.


Does Kath watch kids?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Veloce-Fino on June 15, 2010, 11:05:10 AM
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 10:47:22 AM
for a small yearly fee plus room and board i will be your personal security guard.

i'll even keep a small cache of bitey animals to throw at people if they don't leave soon enough.

(request to be paid in beer and beef jerkey, maybe some pretzels)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 11:13:30 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 10:49:46 AM
Name the fee.


Does Kath watch kids?

30K/yr is room and board are covered.

at least 45K if not.

she could be trained to watch kids...or she could go out and get a dam job!


Quote from: WinSomeLoseNone on June 15, 2010, 11:05:10 AM

(request to be paid in beer and beef jerkey, maybe some pretzels)

dude, that's where the room and board part comes in!
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: zooom on June 15, 2010, 11:35:50 AM
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 10:47:22 AM
for a small yearly fee plus room and board i will be your personal security guard.

i'll even keep a small cache of bitey animals to throw at people if they don't leave soon enough.

but when you throw them, you must scream taunting things at them in a bad french accent while doing so...
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: cyrus buelton on June 15, 2010, 11:49:09 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 10:10:43 AM
My neighbors let me know.


They're very neighborly.

Now that is what I am talking about  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Nitewaif on June 15, 2010, 12:34:23 PM
Ooh!  You need a trebuchet too!!  Let's build one! 


http://www.io.com/~beckerdo/other/trebuchet.html (http://www.io.com/~beckerdo/other/trebuchet.html)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: somegirl on June 15, 2010, 12:38:26 PM
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 11:13:30 AM
30K/yr is room and board are covered.

at least 45K if not.

You have no idea of the COL in the bay area...you think room and board is only worth 15K? [laugh] [laugh]

Does that include the bitey animals btw?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Ddan on June 15, 2010, 12:41:36 PM
Quote from: Nitewaif on June 15, 2010, 12:34:23 PM
Ooh!  You need a trebuchet too!!  Let's build one! 


http://www.io.com/~beckerdo/other/trebuchet.html (http://www.io.com/~beckerdo/other/trebuchet.html)
Now we're talking.  Once it's built, target practice with the ones that make it through the moat, to see if you can chuck them back in.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: fastwin on June 15, 2010, 01:08:45 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 09:57:30 AM

You guys know all of this is tongue in cheek, right?


I'm starting to take it seriously. I'm liking the answering the door with the scattergun deterrent. A snarling, vicious dog being held at bay by your wife in the background is also a nice touch.

Then again I wouldn't live in a state that bans 30 round mags. Good luck with the moat! [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 01:11:56 PM
Quote from: fastwin on June 15, 2010, 01:08:45 PM
I'm starting to take it seriously. I'm liking the answering the door with the scattergun deterrent. A snarling, vicious dog being held at bay by your wife in the background is also a nice touch.

Then again I wouldn't live in a state that bans 30 round mags. Good luck with the moat! [thumbsup]

Maybe a blunderbuss. It'll go well with the fierce whippets, who might just waggle you to death.


Jesus-what the hell kind of shots are you people that you need so many bullets to hit your target?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 01:21:16 PM
Quote from: somegirl on June 15, 2010, 12:38:26 PM
You have no idea of the COL in the bay area...you think room and board is only worth 15K? [laugh] [laugh]

Does that include the bitey animals btw?

no i don't.

i was hoping it wasn't too much more than here. i seem to be barely getting by right now with a mostly unemployed g/f, but was willing to take a paycut if needed to get out there
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 01:28:20 PM
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 01:21:16 PM
no i don't.

i was hoping it wasn't too much more than here. i seem to be barely getting by right now with a mostly unemployed g/f, but was willing to take a paycut if needed to get out there

I think my rent was over 20k a year.

There are cheaper places-12k a year or though etc etc.

Economy sucks.


Still worth it. Sell the car you just bought. Bring the bikes. We'll hook you up with some rich older woman.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 15, 2010, 01:37:34 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 01:28:20 PM
I think my rent was over 20k a year.

There are cheaper places-12k a year or though etc etc.

Economy sucks.


Still worth it. Sell the car you just bought. Bring the bikes. We'll hook you up with some rich older woman.

WOOT!
i'll be all over that will!
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: herm on June 15, 2010, 02:24:07 PM
almost forgot...
the state of Maine recently built my moat for me. of course, they did use my land to build it, and I cant do anything with it now. not allowed to invest in alligators or anything.

some claims of better drainage, etc...yada,yada,yada... but i got a moat of my very own!
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Ddan on June 15, 2010, 02:37:12 PM
By the time the State of Maine figured out you had alligators, they would have forgotten you weren't supposed to.  Do it up, alligator hide Bean boots.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: herm on June 15, 2010, 02:58:32 PM
true, but would they survive the winters?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Ddan on June 15, 2010, 03:06:35 PM
If they don't, small boots.   ;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: TiNi on June 15, 2010, 03:20:36 PM
or an alligator purse  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Statler on June 15, 2010, 03:28:39 PM
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on June 15, 2010, 03:20:36 PM
or an alligator purse  [thumbsup]

that'd be a European man tote for mr. I


Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Ddan on June 15, 2010, 03:33:29 PM
Quote from: Statler on June 15, 2010, 03:28:39 PM
that'd be a European man tote for mr. I



Quote from: DuCaTiNi on June 15, 2010, 03:20:36 PM
or an alligator purse  [thumbsup]
These have to sell at Beans...    None of your fancy-schmancy flat-lander gear
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 15, 2010, 04:32:36 PM
Quote from: Statler on June 15, 2010, 03:28:39 PM
that'd be a European man tote for mr. I




It's a satchel. Indiana Jones wore one.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: The Bacon Junkie on June 15, 2010, 04:38:47 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 04:32:36 PM
It's a satchel. Indiana Jones wore one.

Now all you need is the matching whip...   ;)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 15, 2010, 07:04:02 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 04:32:36 PM
It's a satchel. Indiana Jones wore one.

He also whole a six gun and shot a lot of people

and

pulled a guys heart out of his chest with his hand

These are prerequisites for sporting the satchel



as to the moat

have you thought of filling it with hippies?

hungry hippies

given your demographic the scent alone would keep most visitors at bay and any that did manage to cross the barrier would be eaten
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: DesmoDiva on June 15, 2010, 08:08:56 PM
Quote from: Mother on June 15, 2010, 07:04:02 PM
as to the moat

have you thought of filling it with hippies?

hungry hippies

given your demographic the scent alone would keep most visitors at bay and any that did manage to cross the barrier would be eaten

You are overlooking the fact that most hippies are Veggis/Vegans. 
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: DoubleEagle on June 15, 2010, 08:57:10 PM
Just do what I do and hire a couple of live on the premises guards.

They watch over your stuff and property and can do chores like taking care of the grounds.

Somehow men w, big long guns tend to scare away most people.

Dolph       :)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 15, 2010, 09:10:35 PM
Quote from: DesmoDiva on June 15, 2010, 08:08:56 PM
You are overlooking the fact that most hippies are Veggis/Vegans. 

vegans will eat meat if hungry enough

that's part of the plan

they will be voracious and self loathing


...it has occured to me that P doesn't eat meat

she may mercy feed the hungry hippies

may have to switch from hippies to tweakers
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 15, 2010, 10:16:59 PM
Quote from: Mother on June 15, 2010, 09:10:35 PM
vegans will eat meat if hungry enough



Humans of all stripes and varieties will eat each other if sufficiently starved.

People are known to look at each other like a good meal especially if the date is going well
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ducpainter on June 16, 2010, 01:36:01 AM
Just leave a dead trespasser in the driveway.

It will slow the rest down. [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Pip on June 16, 2010, 03:14:22 AM
I've found Vlad the Impaler's method works best for keeping the neighborhood kids out.

Catch one of them, place stake in ground, place kid ontip of stake, let him make his own way down.  ;D

No need for trenches, permits, or bitey animals.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 16, 2010, 03:35:50 AM
Quote from: The Happy Pip on June 16, 2010, 03:14:22 AM
I've found Vlad the Impaler's method works best for keeping the neighborhood kids out.

Catch one of them, place stake in ground, place kid ontip of stake, let him make his own way down.  ;D

No need for trenches, permits, or bitey animals.

Great minds think alike...I was going there as soon as I saw DP's post....a properly impaled person can last a day or 3 alive

http://www.e-grammes.gr/2004/11/souvlisma_en.htm (http://www.e-grammes.gr/2004/11/souvlisma_en.htm)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Pip on June 16, 2010, 03:43:50 AM
Quote from: RAT900 on June 16, 2010, 03:35:50 AM
Great minds think alike...I was going there as soon as I saw DP's post....a properly impaled person can last a day or 3 alive

http://www.e-grammes.gr/2004/11/souvlisma_en.htm (http://www.e-grammes.gr/2004/11/souvlisma_en.htm)

[thumbsup]

Not to mention the screaming acts as an aural deterrent for those few days they can manage to.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 16, 2010, 03:45:06 AM
Quote from: The Happy Pip on June 16, 2010, 03:43:50 AM
[thumbsup]

Not to mention the screaming acts as an aural deterrent for those few days they can manage to.

It sure as shit slowed down the Turkish advances into Vlad's zone
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Pip on June 16, 2010, 03:49:57 AM
Quote from: RAT900 on June 16, 2010, 03:45:06 AM
It sure as shit slowed down the Turkish advances into Vlad's zone

The only Ottoman I can see MrI being around is the one he rests his feet on at the end of the day.  [laugh]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: cyrus buelton on June 16, 2010, 04:00:02 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 01:11:56 PM
Jesus-what the hell kind of shots are you people that you need so many bullets to hit your target?

It's not about our shots, it's about making sure said body does not get up and ever walk again  [thumbsup]

I've got 300rnds in my vest.


Never know when you might have to hunker down and lay down suppressive fire for a while.


These Buckeye's are crazy make the beast with two backsers.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 16, 2010, 05:27:42 AM
Quote from: Mother on June 15, 2010, 09:10:35 PM
vegans will eat meat if hungry enough

that's part of the plan

they will be voracious and self loathing


...it has occured to me that P doesn't eat meat

she may mercy feed the hungry hippies

may have to switch from hippies to tweakers

i'm glad your logic came back around. i was starting to think you had been drinking ro something whent hat post was made.
besides, mr I would have to deal with pretentious hippies telling him why he is evil as he passed by the moat.
the tweakers will only ask for another hit.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Le Pirate on June 16, 2010, 07:48:16 AM
Quote from: ducpainter on June 16, 2010, 01:36:01 AM
Just leave a dead trespasser in the driveway.

It will slow the rest down. [thumbsup]

if you have alot of them, you can make a wall out of the corpses....I bet that'll keep people away. Especially once the heat of the summer hits.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ducpainter on June 16, 2010, 07:51:57 AM
Quote from: Le Pirate on June 16, 2010, 07:48:16 AM
if you have alot of them, you can make a wall out of the corpses....I bet that'll keep people away. Especially once the heat of the summer hits.
I dunno....

one dead crow does quite a piece of corn patch...

I need to find one of those for my corn. ;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 16, 2010, 03:46:17 PM
Quote from: Le Pirate on June 16, 2010, 07:48:16 AM
if you have alot of them, you can make a wall out of the corpses....I bet that'll keep people away. Especially once the heat of the summer hits.
I still like my mayonnaise idea for the same reason
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: herm on June 17, 2010, 05:55:12 PM
Quote from: Le Pirate on June 16, 2010, 07:48:16 AM
if you have alot of them, you can make a wall out of the corpses....I bet that'll keep people away. Especially once the heat of the summer hits.

Mr I and his 299 spartans create a wall of the dead to stop the advance of the enemy
(http://heritage-key.com/HKimages/002/300_king_edit.jpg)

btw, if you haven't seen 300, you=fail
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 17, 2010, 05:57:41 PM
Quote from: herm on June 17, 2010, 05:55:12 PM
Mr I and his 299 spartans create a wall of the dead to stop the advance of the enemy
(http://heritage-key.com/HKimages/002/300_king_edit.jpg)

btw, if you haven't seen 300, you=fail

No desire to see a bunch of speedo clad actors pretending to play tough guy.


Any one of the original 300 would've kicked their collective asses.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 17, 2010, 06:03:27 PM
I don't think so

I figure at the best an original spartan could take 15 actors at most

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 17, 2010, 06:29:04 PM
Quote from: Mother on June 17, 2010, 06:03:27 PM
I don't think so

I figure at the best an original spartan could take 15 actors at most



from the rear...maybe 30  :)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Veloce-Fino on June 17, 2010, 07:04:33 PM
Quote from: Mother on June 17, 2010, 06:03:27 PM
I don't think so

I figure at the best an original spartan could take 15 actors at most



15? I would give a genuine spartan at least 30. I mean trained from birth and all... vs a bunch of pregnant dogy overpaid actors.

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 17, 2010, 10:15:01 PM
30-1 is movie magic fighting

I say he can take 15

8 die instantly

5 days later from wounds sustained and infection

and

2 suffer permanent disability

but the spartan dies

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Veloce-Fino on June 18, 2010, 06:50:15 PM
Quote from: Mother on June 17, 2010, 10:15:01 PM
30-1 is movie magic fighting

I say he can take 15

8 die instantly

5 days later from wounds sustained and infection

and

2 suffer permanent disability

but the spartan dies



Permanent disability.... lolz.

We're talking the Bruce Lee of early combat and Bruce lee could take on 30 attackers.  

Hell, If you give me tequila and some gutter glitter I could probably take on 15 people.

So I still say 30 is a solid number.





Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 18, 2010, 06:59:52 PM
Quote from: WinSomeLoseNone on June 18, 2010, 06:50:15 PM
Permanent disability.... lolz.

We're talking the Bruce Lee of early combat and Bruce lee could take on 30 attackers.  

Hell, If you give me tequila and some gutter glitter I could probably take on 15 people.

So I still say 30 is a solid number.







Pfffft-my wife could kick your ass. I'd lay money on it.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:21:12 AM
I could take on at least 100 Stephen Hawkings
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:31:25 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AM
Too many people approach the house, so it's time for a moat.

Anyone installed one? What depth/width?
Yup. Very deep.... 1000s of KMs wide.

Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AMWhat did you put in it that eats people? I need something that'll survive lower temps on occasion, but not freeze. Ideally with a minimum amount of feedings, too.
Sharks mostly. Great White ones.  Just throw em the occasional surfer.

Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AMI'd be willing to electrify the moat as an alternative, but I don't know what size of a backup generator I would need.
Maybe you could consider keeping a bunch of deadly spiders, snakes and crocodiles as back-up?  Works for me  [thumbsup]

Quote from: MrIncredible on June 15, 2010, 06:50:57 AMShould I fence both sides of the moat or just one? Inside or outside?
If you need a fence.... then you haven't moated well enough in the first place  [roll].  

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:37:39 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:31:25 AM
Yup. Very deep.... 1000s of KMs wide.
Mr I doesn't have KMs available to him.
That's only for you furringers and your fancy counting ways.
I measure in stone's throws. a proper moat is at least 2 stone's throws wide.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ducpainter on June 19, 2010, 03:41:53 AM
Quote from: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:37:39 AM
Mr I doesn't have KMs available to him.
That's only for you furringers and your fancy counting ways.
I measure in stone's throws. a proper moat is at least 2 stone's throws wide.
au contraire....

He's one of them engineers.

They think they know everything.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:48:00 AM
Quote from: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:37:39 AM.....a proper moat is at least 2 stone's throws wide.
huh? how can you measure width by weight?? you imperialists are weird......
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:50:25 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:48:00 AM
huh? how can you measure width by weight?? you imperialists are weird......
even light has mass, so actually we're measuring the speed of the width.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:52:29 AM
Quote from: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:50:25 AM
even light has mass, so actually we're measuring the speed of the width.
by the pound???
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ducpainter on June 19, 2010, 03:52:48 AM
Quote from: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:50:25 AM
even light has mass, so actually we're measuring the speed of the width.
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:48:00 AM
huh? how can you measure width by weight?? you imperialists are weird......
you'll never win the weird race. [laugh]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:53:30 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:52:29 AM
by the pound???
the cubit
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:59:07 AM
Quote from: lethe on June 19, 2010, 03:53:30 AM
the cubit
I shoulda known  [roll]

...and how many dozen score of thousandths of an inch does a cubit account for in foot/ounces, exactly?  
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 04:00:50 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 03:59:07 AM
I shoulda known  [roll]

...and how many dozen score of thousandths of an inch does a cubit account for in foot/ounces, exactly?  
47
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 04:02:26 AM
... and you call my counting ways..... um.... "fancy"  ;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 04:06:17 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 04:02:26 AM
... and you call my counting ways..... um.... "fancy"  ;D
I'm just being kind.
You come from the land where everything either has a built-in pocket or is full of venom, so I figure you're always running for your life and don't have time to know better.
Your moat is to keep all that insanity there.  ;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 04:11:00 AM
Stereotypical perception, that's the other back up for the moat  ;D

Yup I'm rushed off my 300mm  8)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on June 19, 2010, 05:20:13 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 04:11:00 AM
Stereotypical perception, that's the other back up for the moat  ;D

Yup I'm rushed off my 300mm  8)

300 mm?

(http://candyaddict.com/blog/uploads/mmchars.jpg)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 05:33:03 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on June 19, 2010, 05:20:13 AM
300 mm?

304.8mm to be precise.

Both of 'em.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: ducpainter on June 19, 2010, 05:36:58 AM
Quote from: ungeheuer on June 19, 2010, 05:33:03 AM
304.8mm to be precise.

Both of 'em.
I see what you did there. ;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 06:35:36 AM
Now Im wondering if you fill the moat with water, and have a motorboat in there. . .

if the water circulates proportionally to the boats prop speed. . .

will the boat take off?

I say it won't move.

Discuss.

;D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 19, 2010, 11:17:25 AM
if the water circulated proportionately to the prop speed the boat would very definitely take off...backwards
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Oldfisti on June 19, 2010, 11:26:44 AM
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 06:35:36 AM
Now Im wondering if you fill the moat with water, and have a motorboat in there. . .

if the water circulates proportionally to the boats prop speed. . .

will the boat take off?

I say it won't move.

Discuss.

;D


Quote from: Mother on June 19, 2010, 11:17:25 AM
if the water circulated proportionately to the prop speed the boat would very definitely take off...backwards


The boat would remain in place in the same way one runs on a treadmill.  If the prop were to decrease speed negative thrust would be induced and the current would start to take you. (vice-versa for increase in speed)


Now if the boat had a jet engine mounted above the water providing the thrust, it takes off no matter what.


Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 19, 2010, 11:29:48 AM
Quote from: alfisti on June 19, 2010, 11:26:44 AM


The boat would remain in place in the same way one runs on a treadmill.  If the prop were to decrease speed negative thrust would be induced and the current would start to take you. (vice-versa for increase in speed)


Now if the boat had a jet engine mounted above the water providing the thrust, it takes off no matter what.






the barbs...they are sharp

it would remain in place if the water rotated proportionately to the Boat's speed not the Prop's speed
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Oldfisti on June 19, 2010, 11:47:34 AM
Quote from: alfisti on June 19, 2010, 11:26:44 AM


The boat would remain in place in the same way one runs on a treadmill.  If the prop were to decrease speed negative thrust would be induced and the current would start to take you. (vice-versa for increase in speed)


Now if the boat had a jet engine mounted above the water providing the thrust, it takes off no matter what.





I need to correct myself here.


The prop would have to provide an amount of thrust equal to the resistance of the hull at any given water speed for the boat to remain still.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 19, 2010, 12:10:23 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 06:35:36 AM
Now Im wondering if you fill the moat with water, and have a motorboat in there. . .

if the water circulates proportionally to the boats prop speed. . .

will the boat take off?

I say it won't move.

Discuss.

;D

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 01:07:32 PM
Aaaanndd my work here is done

:D
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Oldfisti on June 19, 2010, 01:32:41 PM
CRAP!


I've been baited.


>:(


[laugh]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: lethe on June 19, 2010, 01:42:15 PM
Quote from: alfisti on June 19, 2010, 01:32:41 PM
CRAP!


I've been baited.


>:(


[laugh]
Like a fish....

in a moat.....

swimming against a current equal to his tail's propulsion...

Nope, you'll never fly either
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 19, 2010, 02:28:28 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 01:07:32 PM
Aaaanndd my work here is done

:D

do you have that fancy tool that gets the barbs of the hook out

it hurts
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 04:05:22 PM
Nope. Gonna have to man up and yank.

;)
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: DucofWestwood on June 19, 2010, 08:30:03 PM
dude, you're going about this all wrong.  just pipe your sewage out there and it'll keep the riff-raff out.  that takes care of the cost-prohibitive issue.  plus with a baby on the way you won't have to worry about supply.

either that or snakes.  lots and lots of snakes.  like in temple of doom.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 19, 2010, 10:07:23 PM
Quote from: DucofWestwood on June 19, 2010, 08:30:03 PM
dude, you're going about this all wrong.  just pipe your sewage out there and it'll keep the riff-raff out.  that takes care of the cost-prohibitive issue.  plus with a baby on the way you won't have to worry about supply.

But then it would smell like he was living on Staten Island or in NJ or something....quality of life issues





Quote from: DucofWestwood on June 19, 2010, 08:30:03 PM
that or snakes.  lots and lots of snakes.  like in temple of doom.

Speaking of NJ..... local Sussex County legend has it that back in the early 20th century Colonel Kuser (the builder of Highpoint State Park and the Veterans monument in the northwest corner of NJ)

hired the locals to gather thousands of snakes in preparation for an inspection visit from his wife from their main home down south in Bernardsville NJ. 

Rumor was that he had a "thing on the side" going on up there.... and his wife was wondering why the project was taking years...

she had a severe phobia about snakes (which could explain him needing to get a side thing going)

and he wanted to make sure she only came there once...well it seems the locals outdid themselves in the task to keep their employment going at the park/monument

and they made sure the place was indeed awash in every possible type of indigenous snake...

The Colonel's wife never got out of her car....the Colonel had the locals put on a display of capturing and removing the snakes they had seeded the property with in front of her...upon seeing this she responded accordingly with horror and terror and did not stay......

and never returned....and the veterans of NJ have a beautiful stone obelisk as a result....commemorating their service and sacrifice....and the Colonel's needs

Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 20, 2010, 12:15:03 AM
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 19, 2010, 04:05:22 PM
Nope. Gonna have to man up and yank.

;)
bah

your bait was tainted

and

your boat is traveling backwards
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: herm on June 20, 2010, 08:23:38 PM
or is it the taint that smells like bait?
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: GAAN on June 20, 2010, 09:45:00 PM
Quote from: herm on June 20, 2010, 08:23:38 PM
or is it the taint that smells like bait?


one day youre gunna have to 'splain me lucy

not this day
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: fastwin on June 21, 2010, 06:24:55 AM
I love that snake story!! [thumbsup] Even if it's just urban legend that is outstanding. Obviously the "side thing" was worth it to have him think up something like that. [clap] [bow_down] [bacon]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: KnightofNi on June 21, 2010, 06:50:45 AM
Quote from: fastwin on June 21, 2010, 06:24:55 AM
I love that snake story!! [thumbsup] Even if it's just urban legend that is outstanding. Obviously the "side thing" was worth it to have him think up something like that. [clap] [bow_down] [bacon]

maybe his wife was jsut a raging pregnant dog and he wanted somewhere to hide.
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: fastwin on June 21, 2010, 07:21:27 AM
I had one of those once. And I didn't have a place to hide. I needed a moat back then... filled with snakes! [bang]
Title: Re: Moat construction?
Post by: RAT900 on June 21, 2010, 09:53:13 AM
Quote from: fastwin on June 21, 2010, 06:24:55 AM
I love that snake story!! [thumbsup] Even if it's just urban legend that is outstanding. Obviously the "side thing" was worth it to have him think up something like that. [clap] [bow_down] [bacon]

My brother lived up there for 15 years and was part of a team that gutted and stripped old Kuser's mansion.

His friend/co-worker who was born and raised in an old Sussex family was married to one of Kuser's great grand-nieces....according to him, it was a Kuser family story