Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: erkishhorde on September 21, 2010, 10:34:02 PM

Title: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: erkishhorde on September 21, 2010, 10:34:02 PM
He hired me for my first real job. At the interview, he seemed so eager to teach and I thought it'd be lots of fun learning from him. Turns out I was wrong. He had a short temper and yelled a lot. You could feel everyone hunkering down in their chairs when he was on a rage in the middle of the cubie farm. It wasn't so bad when he wasn't yelling at you but once his regular target got fed up with it and left he started yelling at me a lot. One time he even blew up at me and ranted about how I was going to break his precious calculator that was on the edge of his table under 50 pages of full size drawings. How the make the beast with two backs was I supposed to know there was something "precious" buried under that  heap. I just had a little question about the project I was working on and that nobody else was helping me with. His big ole bug eyes really pissed me off too. Whenever he would rant they'd bulge. I just wanted to gouge them out.

I just found out that he died from an old co-worker/ classmate's facebook status. He died on the 13 at age 41. I did some searching and found that it was a diving accident. He got swept under a rock and drowned. Now, I didn't like the guy. I quit that job solely because of him even though I use finishing my master's degree as my excuse. As much as I felt like beating the shit out of him sometimes, I never really wanted him dead. Sure, I wished for it sometimes but they were those spur of the moment, rage filled, wishes that you really don't mean when you step back and regain your composure.

He ain't my problem anymore and hasn't been for the nearly 2 years now so I dunno if you'd say I'm relieved he's gone. At the same time, I don't particularly mourn his death since I didn't like him. He had two daughters, 9 and 6, so I guess I feel bad for them. IIRC he was getting a divorce when I left that job nearly 2 years ago so I guess there's potential for them to already be taken care of financially by a step father but that's still not much consolation for losing a father at such a young age.

There's a service for him this weekend. Dunno if I should go. Honestly, I'm more inclined to go and catch up w/ former co-workers than to pay my respects. Don't think I'll go. Hmm... hard to focus on working on my project anymore tonight. I feel kinda bad that I'm not actually all that sorry to hear he's gone.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: zarn02 on September 21, 2010, 10:40:01 PM
I remember finding out about a fairly useless HS teacher I had dying of, eh... something.

I'm not sure you're required to feel any particular way.

I think my reaction was something like "Well... no good for him. I guess these things happen."

:P
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: erkishhorde on September 21, 2010, 10:51:51 PM
Quote from: zarn02 on September 21, 2010, 10:40:01 PM
I remember finding out about a fairly useless HS teacher I had dying of, eh... something.

I'm not sure you're required to feel any particular way.

I think my reaction was something like "Well... no good for him. I guess these things happen."

:P

That actually helps a lot. Made me smile and almost laugh.  :) Thanks.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: IZ on September 21, 2010, 11:57:12 PM
You don't have to think/feel much about it.  They're your feelings.     

Hopefully, he left his kids with a better impression and a good life insurance policy.

IIRC you spoke about that job/boss on TOB.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: rgramjet on September 22, 2010, 12:09:25 AM
Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living.  Go work the room!
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: RAT900 on September 22, 2010, 01:02:42 AM
For some a funeral is a chance to celebrate someone's lifetime....

for others it's a chance to celebrate their demise

everyone dies sooner or later in some form or manner, the more bizarre or interesting or ironic,,the better....

but that is a side issue

what is probably more important is how well they lived their life

sounds like your chap gets a "Pedestrian-grade Fail" on the life

but a C+ on the demise

Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: NorDog on September 22, 2010, 07:01:12 AM
Quote from: rgramjet on September 22, 2010, 12:09:25 AM
Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living.

This claim is not held universally, and certainly not in my household.

Be that as it may, sounds like this guy is still living in your head.

Seems to me the thing to do is to consciously wish him no ill will, and let it go.

As we get older more and more people we've known die.  Many of these deaths are of people who were, well, wicked to us.  It is simply unwise and odd to invest too much emotion in to the idea that these deaths do not cause us to invest enough emotion.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: rgramjet on September 22, 2010, 07:57:53 AM
There arent many claims that are!  ;D

If its a reason to catch up with some friends, thats a reason to go.  Toxic people suck but if something good can come from the association, could be worth your time.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Pip on September 22, 2010, 08:27:59 AM
Your best course of action is to be honest. Say he was a douche, but you don't wish death on anybody.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: MendoDave on September 22, 2010, 08:53:13 AM
So he was driving / walking on the 13 and he somehow drowned?
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on September 22, 2010, 09:30:03 AM
You should feel like applying for his job-it's open now.


Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: MendoDave on September 22, 2010, 09:37:36 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on September 22, 2010, 09:30:03 AM
You should feel like applying for his job-it's open now.




Man you're cold..
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on September 22, 2010, 09:51:03 AM
Quote from: D Paoli on September 22, 2010, 09:37:36 AM
Man you're cold..

The guy was a dick to his employees. This is not a reason to deserve to die. It is a reason to not give a shit.

Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Stella on September 22, 2010, 10:07:34 AM
My day's going to come sooner or later and there one or two people who I KNOW are not going to miss me (nor I them if they go first).

And I don't care (I'm cold like that).  The manner in which they pass has potential to make me feel badly though.

If you had met the kids or other family members and they know/remember you, I think it would be fine to stop by to see them but avoid the hypocrisy by lamenting the guy's passing.

My 2 cents.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: MendoDave on September 22, 2010, 10:10:29 AM
Quote from: MrIncredible on September 22, 2010, 09:51:03 AM
The guy was a dick to his employees. This is not a reason to deserve to die. It is a reason to not give a shit.




For some reason I find your BMW tractor fascinating. I want to go to a dealership where they have some that I can drive around.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f7/NewHolland_ForageHarvester_FR9000.jpg)

They have these kind of things at the new Holland dealer in Colusa. But a BMW would be cool.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: herm on September 22, 2010, 10:21:17 AM
several years after i moved on from being a ski bum in Colorado, i heard that my first supervisor on the mountain was killed when he fell into a crevasse in the Alps somewhere. kind of a bummer, but no real feelings one way or another.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: TJR178 on September 22, 2010, 10:21:34 AM
I worked for a guy that could be a bigger a-hole than your old boss.  I'd love to kick him in the teeth, but I wouldn't wish death on him.

If I did hear of his death, I wouldn't be upset about it, as long as I didn't have anything to do with it.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: SacDuc on September 22, 2010, 10:52:05 AM


As others have said, extreme indifference is perfectly appropriate sometimes.

sac
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: zooom on September 22, 2010, 11:04:35 AM
Quote from: Sắc Dục on September 22, 2010, 10:52:05 AM

As others have said, extreme indifference is perfectly appropriate sometimes.

sac

yup...+1

and no matter what...taking a dump in someone's coffin on their dead corpse is nothing more than being just shitty.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Triple J on September 22, 2010, 02:49:38 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on September 22, 2010, 09:30:03 AM
You should feel like applying for his job-it's open now.




[laugh]
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: DoubleEagle on September 22, 2010, 03:05:47 PM
I used to work w, someone that if they drowned I wouldn't shed a tear.

Dolph  

Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: badgalbetty on September 22, 2010, 03:46:20 PM
I have worked with plenty of folks whom I was not fond of. I certainly would not wish death on any of them at any time. If I was in your position I would not waste time beating myself up over an unfortunate accident to a former boss that I was not fond of. I also would not waste my time or energy going to the funeral. This person was unpleasant to you ,why waste your good chee on him?
Just my 02.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: erkishhorde on September 22, 2010, 09:08:56 PM
Quote from: MrIncredible on September 22, 2010, 09:30:03 AM
You should feel like applying for his job-it's open now.


Ya know, that was almost the first thing my sister said. Her question was whether or not I was going to apply there for a job again now that he is gone.

Quote from: D Paoli on September 22, 2010, 08:53:13 AM
So he was driving / walking on the 13 and he somehow drowned?

He was diving with a friend and somehow they both got swept under a rock formation called Giggle Crack. The friend managed to get to the surface but my former boss did not. Yes, when I read that it was called Giggle Crack I laughed a little.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Rameses on September 23, 2010, 12:45:15 AM
Quote from: D Paoli on September 22, 2010, 08:53:13 AM
So he was driving / walking on the 13 and he somehow drowned?


I made the same mistake while I was reading it too.

I was like "how in the make the beast with two backs does somebody get caught under a rock and drown in a driving accident?  He must've run off a bridge into a lake or something."

Then I re-read it to see if I missed something and caught my mistake.




And erkish, I wouldn't feel bad about the reaction to hearing of his demise.

I mean, it doesn't sound like you're happy that he died, you just aren't exactly filled with sorrow about it.  Perfectly normal if he was that much of a dick.

And while that really sucks for his children, and I'm sure it's painful for them to lose their father, there's a chance that they're better off in the long run not being raised by him if he was really that much of an asshole.

Who knows.   :-\

Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Stinky Wizzleteats on September 24, 2010, 03:10:38 PM
I worked for someone years ago and found out recently that he had a thing for little boys.



Can't wait till he dies. Painfully.
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: DRKWNG on September 25, 2010, 11:52:29 AM
Quote from: rgramjet on September 22, 2010, 12:09:25 AM
Funerals aren't for the dead, they are for the living.  Go work the room!

At least I know I won't be lonely in hell...
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: Doctor Woodrow on September 25, 2010, 12:55:20 PM
Quote from: erkishhorde on September 21, 2010, 10:34:02 PM
. . . I just found out that he died from an old co-worker/ classmate's facebook status. He died on the 13 at age 41.  . .

Wait, so he died because of somebody's STATUS on FACEBOOK??? Wow, thats sad for a 41 year-old . . .

The Doc
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: ducpainter on September 25, 2010, 12:56:28 PM
Quote from: DRKWNG on September 25, 2010, 11:52:29 AM
At least I know I won't be lonely in hell...
all the fun people go there
Title: Re: Former Boss Died and I dunno how I feel...
Post by: erkishhorde on September 25, 2010, 01:24:32 PM
Quote from: Doctor Woodrow on September 25, 2010, 12:55:20 PM
Wait, so he died because of somebody's STATUS on FACEBOOK??? Wow, thats sad for a 41 year-old . . .

The Doc

Lol, yeah I guess I worded that poorly.  I was cruising facebook and my old co-worker's status from the a few days ago said something about my boss dying.