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I don't know why these crack me up...

Started by il d00d, October 13, 2009, 11:20:33 AM

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il d00d

October 13, 2009, 11:20:33 AM Last Edit: October 13, 2009, 11:31:11 AM by il d00d
...but they do.  Realtor pictures.  These seem to be a throwback to a bygone age before the media-rich internet when selling things required your Glamor Shots-ified countenance.  I find myself distracted from looking for homes with my looking for awesome.  Join me, won't you?  These pictures were all taken from the realtor search at har.com

This is known as The Classic:  chin shelf made with fist, perfect 2:1 hair to head width ratio.  Place kicker shoulder pads.  Background painted in 1985.  These are the standard-bearer for realtor pictures


A variations including a perfect helmet of hair.   It is worth pointing out that if your head is not turned or tilted a 45 degree angle then you... ain't...shit.

If women have longer hair, there is a 100% chance that it will be cascading gracefully down one shoulder.


The Soft Standard.  The SS requires that your face and hair be surgically fluffed.  You can also find this picture on match.com and the board of directors page at the National Cat Fancier's Association site


The Double Standard.  I don't know why realtor couples are posed like they are about to box, or ditch prom and go to a hotel room, but they are.  


The KAZAM!!!.  See? We've got these signs and everything!  I can't help but think this was the only way they could think of to get images on the internet.  Holding up a sign, then having someone take a picture of it.  It is photoshop the hard way, god bless em'.


Here are a few that deviate from the norm, but don't sacrifice awesome in the pursuit.

"When we close on the house, I will give y'all my cornbread recipe." This woman calls everyone "Sug' ".


Why... hello there.  A/S/L/Bed/Bath?  Anyone want to guess his name?  It is in fact, Esteban.


"... and if anyone knows the whereabouts of CHRISTIAN BIELSTEIN (ABR ALHS ASR), please contact the National Association of Realtors for a reward in apprehending him for glamor-related crimes"


And this was the one that started my love of realtor pictures.  This is Bill Clopton, one of many Zombie-Americans leading perfect productive lives today.  Although he may want to crush, then consume the contents of your skull, he is dedicated to serving all of your real estate needs.

Dietrich

#1
October 13, 2009, 11:24:07 AM
aahhhahahahahaha!  Good stuff.  [clap]

causeofkaos

#2
October 13, 2009, 12:40:36 PM
 [clap] [clap] [clap]
Favorite convo i read on this board
"PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN"
"F**K U IT HAPPENED"

Suzuki Blvd M109R " Sliver " = assassinated by cager
PW 696 " Pearl " = traded in
M1100 " Loki " = Viking God of mischief ( Goddess in this case )
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty pristine body, but rather to come in sliding sideways all used up screaming F*CK YEAH WHAT A RDIE!!

rockaduc

#3
October 13, 2009, 01:10:26 PM
 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.  If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

teddy037.2

#4
October 13, 2009, 01:12:12 PM
I thought I was the only one  [laugh]

somegirl

#5
October 13, 2009, 06:01:56 PM
 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Need help posting pictures?  Check out the photo FAQ.

Monsterlover

#6
October 13, 2009, 06:39:32 PM
;D

nice
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Bick

#7
October 13, 2009, 06:41:43 PM
The ones that I never got were the women that used their pictures from 20+ years ago.  [roll]
It's all in the grind, Sizemore. Can't be too fine, can't be too coarse. This, my friend, is a science. I mean you're looking at the guy that believed all the commercials. You know, about the "be all you can be." I made coffee through Desert Storm. I made coffee through Panama while everyone else got to fight, got to be a Ranger.

* A man can never have too much whiskey, too many books, or too much ammunition *

TiNi

#8
October 14, 2009, 01:50:14 AM
our realtor had a calendar made  [laugh]

Big Troubled Bear

#9
October 14, 2009, 02:01:02 AM
I actually make some of these stupid sign boards [bang] [puke]
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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