I found Cool Shite for you on craigslist thread.

[Mother]

 

[ryandalling]

http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/mcy/943699011.html

Only $25k.... somebody should snag it.

(Sorry... I had to change the subject... mo/mo erotic had gotten out of hand... back to the originally scheduled programming.)

[Mother]

(Sorry... I had to change the subject... mo/mo erotic had gotten out of hand... .)

very out of hand

[duc_fan]

 

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )

Reply to: sale-926508578@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consi der superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

[ryandalling]

Not on craigs list... but I got the xbox 360 HD-DVD player and some movies that I need to get rid of. I know HD-DVD lost the war... and this player has to plug into and XBOX 360 to work... but if anybody is interested... let me know... make an offer... he he

[8 lives]

this is in cycle trader.  I think i want to sell my m695 and go with something bigger or maybe go sport bike.  What does everyone think of this. 

http://www.cycletrader.com/find/listing/2004-DUCATI-749-89422123

[8 lives]

Another one in cycle trader.  Something smells fishy about this one, if it checks out someone will get a steal of a deal.

http://www.cycletrader.com/find/listing/2004-Ducati-999-94280275

[duc_fan]

Someone lookin' for a D90?

http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/cto/984897143.html

http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/cto/984435402.html

[duc_fan]

  AH HA HA ha ha!!!




Posted to Craigslist Personals:
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)




Reply to: 
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST


I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.


I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?


I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown stinking sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van GoGo's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.


I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.


So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!
 
- Alex




Apparently this was actually posted on Craigslist in Savannah, GA, in early January.  Whether the story is true or not is up for debate, but I found it hilarious nonetheless.

[ryandalling]

That's pretty funny. 

[duc_fan]

Go read the description... then go read the "Questions for Seller" below the pics.

eBay item number 260348580354

[desmosome]

Funny stuff....

thanks for posting D

[marvellous]

Go read the description... then go read the "Questions for Seller" below the pics.

eBay item number 260348580354

Any bets on that's Tom Cruise's bike?  (didn't he buy one last year?)

[scott_araujo]

Marv, you're being glib.

[marvellous]

That's better than being bilg....  right? 

mmm... boobies...