242,720 Xterras, Pathfinders and Frontiers Recalled (2005-2009)

Started by Monster Dave, January 07, 2009, 12:33:49 PM

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Jaman

http://montana.craigslist.org/cto/984509690.html

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )
 
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Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST
OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.


 

 

 
 





Grampa

Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

JEFF_H

I think you're gonna be ok, bp.
It's only in states where the use lots of salt on the road in the winter.

I think in Bakersfield they spread meth rocks on the road for winter traction  8)

mitt



causeofkaos

That craidslist post is hilarious i haven't laughed like that in a while. He is throwing in MC Hammer pants for free that is an off the hook price.......
not really,   but that listing is funny
Favorite convo i read on this board
"PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN"
"F**K U IT HAPPENED"

Suzuki Blvd M109R " Sliver " = assassinated by cager
PW 696 " Pearl " = traded in
M1100 " Loki " = Viking God of mischief ( Goddess in this case )
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty pristine body, but rather to come in sliding sideways all used up screaming F*CK YEAH WHAT A RDIE!!

mitt

Quote from: causeofkaos on January 08, 2009, 10:35:08 AM
That craidslist post is hilarious i haven't laughed like that in a while. He is throwing in MC Hammer pants for free that is an off the hook price.......
not really,   but that listing is funny

+1

didn't read it all the first time  [thumbsup]   [laugh]

mitt

KnightofNi

haha, i sent that to my buddy who has an xterra, here's his response

"uh oh, good thing I only have another 4 months left on its lease!"
Life, alas is very drear. Up with the glass and down with the beer!
Quote from: RB on September 09, 2009, 05:31:47 AM
Seriously, when i am 800years old i want to rock like Lemmy! it is a religion that requires lots of determination, drugs, and Marshall stacks.

now with clavicle of steel (stainless) wrist o' steel (11/2011)